/cos/ - Cancer Office Stories

>be me
>working as a network engineer
>our office desks have thin clients for a terminal server
>all employees of my working group have to work with the terminal server
>16 ppl have to share together 16GB RAM and a cocky 2,4GHz CPU
>every second/third day some services to many filesystems and tools are destroyed
>the system crashed
>can't also open any files or tools
>we can't work
>so we can't fix it without one special employee
>no documentation about the system or above any other thing
>went full retarded
>self top kek

>i'm being paid to not work
>i wanna kill youself

fucking millenials

>muh open office
>idle chat everywhere
>nerf arrows flying everywhere
>ping pong balls flying everywhere
>oxboard racing back and forth
>electric skateboard racing back and forth
>kids walking around
And they wonder why I always wear my headphones.

bump

>pajeet keeps using TABs, fucking up the standard
>pajeet keeps using { after a new line
>pajeet keeps putting every variable and function under public: even though he doesn't use them outside
>pajeet doesn't define things as const by default
>and we have to clean his shit in order to maintain readable and well-structured code for preventing future cancers for new employees

IT'S CANCER

This. That's when you laugh and go fuck around

> couple of newbies sending e-mails to each other
> i have access to see all the sent messages
> one of them is insulating the manager and other office g-men
> dumb fuck doesn't know that they(supervisors) get a copy from every sent messages
> tell em wtf are they doing
> does not listeb
> fuckem.tar.gz
> gets fired immediately
> toyota.3gp

He would have been safe if he wasn't using very harsh words in his letters.

top kek

>insulating

Where do i get the rest of the PSE ?

>2016
>junior: so how are we hashing passwords for this new project
>senior: use md5
>junior: what? we should be using bcrypt
>senior: nah, md5, i don't know bcrypt

and we did md5

>not using tabs as the standard

You do know there's shit like clang-format that formats every code you feed it in exactly the way you like it to an autistic degree of detail? Where I work every bit of source is just formatted automatically via clang-format according to our coding standards while uploading it to git.

>be me
>QA
>test the task about copying a template from one site to another
>notice a couple of bugs, report them and reassign to the dev
>manager replies to the thread saying the task is only about the design, the content and the prices are irrelevant
>okay.js
>test it after prod, everything's fine, set status to resolved and assign to the manager
>1 hour later she comes to my desk with our boss and complains about me missing a bug (dollar symbols instead of British pounds)
>show my bug report to the boss
>he says it's miscommunication between her and me, not my fault
>she gets mad and runs back to her department
:/

>office full of people forced to use LLVM

I couldn't figure out sha256 in php sometime back so boss told me to use salted md5
eeeh

well I ended up using it so whatever
i don't even work there anymore

>got a defect saying just expected value 10, obtained value 5, nu other context info
>not the first one of the kind, but the one that overflowed the toilet
>pushed the defect back to tester
>test manager comes back to yell at me
>I (re)explain for the 1M time how defects should be filled in and that the testers should know that
>pressures me to fix it anyway, as he does not care about the details
>reply that I do not care about his issues then
>2 says later reports me to the manager
>manager takes me to a face to face, starts yelling that I do not care about the project
>has printed the defect on his desk, fatal mistake
>ask him to describe me the issue
>?!?!?!?!?
>comeback not found.exe
>exactly, I answer
>later on, few months, a new test manager comes to me, asking for a new app for which no specs were sent
>mfw
>ask him how am I supposed to implement something that not even analysts know about
>answers "take an educated guess"
>mfw2
>...
>quit job couple months later

>first line service desk
>hey user you want to manage the mcafee epolicy non compliance
>mcafee
>fuck yeah anyway because actual work

>literally all agent faults
>agent doesn't repair over remote mcafee console
>no rdp access to 99% of workstations
>have to use psexec
>agent never repairs after psexec work
>find a GUI only mcafee removal tool and tell management their shit is fucked

>oh I dunno user isn't x working on something with psexec or something
>no I tried everything with psexec it's not worth shit with mcafee agent problems
>weeks pass
>hey goys your shit is still fucked
>dunno user we have an engineer looking into it now they're using psexec to write some scripts to fix this
>PS EXEC MCAFEE AGENT COMMANDS DONT DO SHIT
>quitting job now anyway

Fuck enterprise mcafee

do not test specs that are not signed off by the receiver, you will get fucked every time, even if your manager seems initially to be on your side, he will turn his back on you as he will not want to upset the same level colleagues.

in case of issues all people under him do not matter, only matters what his equal or higher level peers see

isn't reading mails illegal, even if admin? its like opening hard mail, which is against the law afaik

If it's a personal email account then yes. But this was probably on a company email account. They're allowed to read those emails.

when was this?

php has a native function to deal with sha256

this
company email that's all cc'd to a supervisor to cover company ass in case of harassment

>what is exchange transport rules

>80 employees
>10x E3 v3 servers for office that are already paid for and complete overkill.
>Never seen a server above 1.0 load
>CEO falls for Amazon AWS hype/marketing
>"We must switch now to save our infrastructure and reduce costs!"
>Literally increased our infrastructure bill ten fold for no reason

We actually use gcc, clang-format has basically nothing to do with the clang compiler.

>implying virtualization isn't the answer to most small businesses
why would i get an R430 when i could get a VPS

Where do you work, Google?

thank you for enlightening me. haven't used it but I should look into it.

this so much

Currently working in startup like that. Looking for new job. Awful experience.

>London
>get job as senior backend dev, shitton of money
>management has 0 communication with PMs, developers, qa, any other part of the company but themselves
>project PM constantly releases features breaking backward compatibility to production, shit breaks all the time
>zero git workflow, PRs waiting for merges for 4 weeks, piling upon each other
>"agile" so much that estimations no longer needed
>take care of managing the project, release versions, development, team management, business requirements, sys architecture, everyfucking thing
>WORST: open space, people taking calls in their own language all the time, people coming by to ask about XYZ or talk shit, people looking at your screen and asking dumb questions, people playing pingpong when you are on a call, people playing xbox for half of the day, retards ubmitting 1 PR per month

Honestly I will quit this job due to the fucking open space, although the whole company is fucked.

Story tiem
>PM comes to me with business requirements
>write implementation plan, divide work through the team
>next 2 sprints booked for the feature
>in the middle of sprint 1 PM decides we release half of the functionality as "phase 1"
>try to convince them it is an awful idea, ACL fucked, half of the features not implemented
>"nah it's k m8, smile more!"
>release day
>"user, why isn't this feature working? This is absolutely needed by our clients, NOW!"
>"you signed the implementation plan, broke the release cycle and was fine with minor issues. you deal with that now"
>take my shit, go home

not a startup unfortunately, but a mf large company

taking over other people's attributions is the biggest mistake, never gonna get payed for and when there is a blame about smt, you will surely get it

most of the people gravitating around IT do not doo too much and they surely could use a sucker that can do things so that they have time to move around, projecting their nice intentions and taking all the credit

don't look behind and do not waste your effort on things that are surely not yours. there is only the pay at the end of the month and nothing more. move on while still have the energy.

worry not, I work for 7 hours a day and divide my time well. Sadly the part of being a teamlead as well is a thing the PMs overuse. Lately I have been ignoring them and got great results.
So yeah, hard to disagree.

do not say "no" or "its not possible" cause manager are trained to make you to stop saying no

instead complain every day about every fucking detail possible to them, so that you tire them.

do this repeatedly until they leave you alone and do not bother you with any deadline anymore

Even better try to get other manager's teams involved (if you have friends on the other teams). Say, in order to do X I would strongly need Bob's help on this. As a matter of fact wouldn't it be easier if we could just take a few hours of their whole team in order to do X? They really did a great job last time...

99% of the time he will drop the latest stupid idea he tried to force on you. And for the remaining 1%, well at least you won't suffer alone.

Managers hate looking like loosers who can't do their job in front of other managers/higher ups. They prefer doing a decent job and get all the credit than do a great job and have to share the credit with some other dude. This is also why you should, if another manager than your own tries to make you do stuff, and you don't want to, go ahead and mention it casually to your manager (I can't do this for you right now, other manager has me working on ...) he will probably get involved in some way (=try to get some of the credit for the project the other manager tried to offload on you).

this might backfire: if your manager says "ok, plan the meeting and then see that the teams work together..." then you have an extra thing on your head, free of charge. as he is a manager he can delegate whatever he feels like it... even his own job, if circumstances allows it

some managers do not want to do anything, as it is worse to be wrong than to try (not to mention that they are lazy). these managers delegate everything and only appear to tell you stories and place the blame.

mind if you ignore them, they will realize it and then start playing games with you, by pushing things your way. this will lead to a high level of stress on your side that will be hard to deal with.

>business analyst in meme tech startup
>literally everyone except the engineers and my team are tech illerate retards
>get swamped with requests from normie shitters to do super-basic excel tasks, as they're too stupid and lazy to learn anything new, no matter how many times they're shown
>could make tons of sophisticated automated processes to speed up the business, but the salespeople are too tech illiterate to use them, the retard-proofing alone would take weeks
>engineers all leaving because pay is meh and the our founder is a sociopath who acts on hunches and ignores data
>tfw we will soon be essentially the only people with any technical skill whatsoever in there

My dream is to run a successful business with zero useless salespeople/PMs/Idea Guys ® and just automate the fuck out of everything. I want a business that's so automated that I literally just turn it on and it makes money.

>Open-plan office

Mass murder waiting to happen tbqhwu

m-messi is that you

>My dream is to run a successful business with zero useless salespeople/PMs/Idea Guys ® and just automate the fuck out of everything. I want a business that's so automated that I literally just turn it on and it makes money.

Shut up, you're just an Idea Guy ®.

None of this is enough though. You have to hash and salt. Otherwise dictionary attacks are easy to do, as well as shared passwords.

No, I cannot invert a binary tree.
Now I'm stuck at this "young and dynamic" company.

>Doing IT for MSP
>While onsite at another office, important doctor's office starts bouncing up and down.
>Email starting to blow up with angry doctors
>Tell them to power cycle shit
>Network still bouncing
>Doctors now in open revolt
>One is refusing to see patients
>Still stuck onsite, halfway up a mountain with limited internet access.
>Do we need to get a new IT?
>Finally finish onsite
>Skip lunch to drive over
>Start looking at the connection and why the failover didn't kick in
>SSH into router and start investigation.
>Cable and backup DSL both down
>Power cycle everything
>Still both down
>Tons of static on the analog line
>Ask what's been going on today
>Some guys had been digging in front of the office and no one bothered to mention it all day
>Go outside and look in the hole they dug
>Find one coax line severed and a phone line hanging on by a single fraid pair
>Tell them I don't have the tools to properly fix it
>Called the ISPs and told them to fix it and send the bill to the contractor

We could have saved so much time an effort if they had bothered to say ANYTHING about the gang of assholes making a mess out front. I swear to god, doctors are worse than children.

We're idea guys who actually implement our ideas, test them, and use them to make the business make money.

If you think business analysts are idea men then I suggest you go look at what PMs do

>maintaining IT for a bunch of offices
>6pm on friday, calling it a day
>emergency call
>"help our spell checker has gone down and we cant program the CAD and we have orders to dispatch TODAY"
>4th week in a row these cretins have done this
>whatever, they get charged for the callout and per min after hours
>find they are typing in caps so it wont spell check but never noticed
>they set up a remote access pyramid to link 10 work stations together
>CAD machine is so old it need custom made PCBs from the original owner in Japan

Not sure if i should be happy for the extra pay or just ship myself to Japan with this CAD cutter.

>md5 is unsecure-meme
name one case where an attacker can perform an attack via constructed hash-collisions