*BANG BOOM CRASH*

*BANG BOOM CRASH*

"Freeze let me see your hands!"

"Find the hard drive!"

wat do, Sup Forums?

Other urls found in this thread:

xkcd.com/538/
youtu.be/Ex4LNBtkkWU
youtube.com/watch?v=AOPMlIIg_38
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I use the Cloud

Not worry since I encrypt, then worry since Im still memorizing a diceware password.

>I use the Cloud

Shove the hard drive up my ass and tell the fuzz to come get it

It's heavily encrypted and can only be accessed with my email and password, which is extremely secure.

What's wrong with that?

...

Im not a pedo and I dont pirate shit so come at me faglords

All I have is encrypted and the pass is written in an edible paper under my desk.

*boom CRASH*
*rumble rumble*
*crack crack*

Clatter, crash, clack!
Racket, bang, thump!
Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!

Jokes on them I have an ssd

Are there inedible types of paper?

>SWAT team doesn't call me a fucko
not intimidated desu

>close Macbook lid with my elbow
>"Woops."
>have friendly bantz
>don't get shoot because I white and this isn't Murica

Not if you're determined enough

freeze myself apparently

*pulls down pants*
hello officer, i heard you were looking for a hard drive

dd bs=1M count=1 if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/sda; poweroff -f

Am I being detained?

You see the thing is, unlike you fucking pedophile autists, I am a law abiding citizen. I trust the the LEA is trained and will respectfully search my property, with a warrant of course.

be scared they find my pics of kpop idols and lewd anime/hentai, and maybe some of my fallout and skyrim lewd mods

Have an electromagnet nearby.

>have contraption to pour petroleum jelly into case
>pull string and bucket tips while spinning a wheel
>wheel has matches on it
>pc is now on fire and slippery as fuck
Recover my data now, bitches.

empty colon into pants

What's there to be so scared of?? :P

>my hard disk is encrypted with LUKS
>obey the officers
>pc self destruct sequence initiates
>acid filled fedoras rain down on the swat team
>pc starts blasting yung lean throughout my house
>the normies ears explode
>hack the NSA using my sick mr. Robot mask
>connect to NSA illuminati sound system
>blast desu music across the planet
>truly the end of the world
>repopulate the world with yung lean's children

A e s t h e t i c

THe worst thing that I have on my HDD is a dog licking some dudes dick in slow-motion and they can't do shit about it

xkcd.com/538/

N S A B O Y S

You and pretty much everyone else ITT delusional as shit

Wow dude way to steal my post fucking off yourself

you forgot sudo

>not just using su

>Sir, we've managed to recover the platters.
>Great, get out the Electron Microscope
2 days later
>receive subpoena

lol

Strip and smear petroleum jelly all over my body and plea insanity

Activate the trapdoor into the viper pit of course

Before they knock down my door.

>hillaryclintongetsraided.webm

I use root terminal, pleb.

He thinks he's better than us

>uses root terminal
>calls others plebs

Does anyone others aussie know what our laws are?
What was that copypasta about small breasts is considered underage here?

...

good for you

Funny, I just finished secure wiping my drive for the first time and now this thread.
>Go right ahead officer, I have everything to hide

> not post the weeb version

flip switch. ground to hdd and ssd are now -12v.

got nothing to hide. just wanted to fry my shit.

do you have it?

*bzzzzz*
Huh... Yeah, good luck with that

Only a sfw form /f/ long time ago

I'd mostly comply, since I'm a German in Germany, nothing really ugly to expect.
Besides, all my drives contain nothing but boring shit anyway

>be free inhabitant
>enjoy all rights of united states citizens
>be subject to none of their obligations
>cant be forced to follow any of the laws

that's my favourite meme, post it again

> people are actually this retarded.

ok

>be free inhabitant
>enjoy all rights of united states citizens
>be subject to none of their obligations
>cant be forced to follow any of the laws

Hard drive on one side of my head, gun on the other.

pop in nuke-boot floppy and hit the restart button on the tower.

>owning a floppy drive

Cooperate and hand over the drives. They're encrypted anyway.

>have nothing to hide
>no problem

that was easy. what are you hiding in that encrypted hdd user?

jelly?

>pic related, its you.

wow man I thought I was right but it turned out I was wrong
like I wasnt expecting that
really made me think there pal

>write password on piece of paper
>set it next to computer
>eat paper when teh time comes
>claim in court that the paper got lost
>only way you could remember the password

you didn't hear this from me though :^)

They aren't encrypted, I just stored terabits of entropy for future reference

A court can't order you to provide incriminating verbal evidence anyway.

How's Canada this time of year?

>get detained until you shit the paper out again

You see the thing is, unlike you fucking pedophile autists, I am a law abiding citizen. I trust the the LEA is trained and will respectfully search my property, with a warrant of course.

>has no idea how the digestive system in the human body works.

>no fucko

Here, youtu.be/Ex4LNBtkkWU

I don't think paper works like that

are you implying he'll be detained while(1) ?

What type of shit do you guys have on there?

so much fucking porn it would take years to sort it.

>he hasnt written automated porn sorting algorithms
pleb. Simply pleb.

>implying such things even exist

How do you think porn sites work?

the uploader classifies it as its being processed. full manual sorting.

>bump to unplug tales flashdrive on my way to put my hands up
>automatically destroys all traces
>smile with hands up

>press the button under my thumb on the mouse
>containers automatically unmount and encrypt

your move

m8, you 'stole' it from xkcd. Calm your bearded tits.

>he doesn't know the /fucko/ format
fucking newfag

>haha fed cucks don't know I don't use hard drives, but instead superior SSD technology

Sovereign Citizens are literally retarded and need to be executed.

rm -rf

You really don't need to make this thread every day.

boom clap, the sound of my door, the unspecified detainment goes on and on and on ah

youtube.com/watch?v=AOPMlIIg_38

tellem

fuck out of here you stupid faggots.

The worst they can see is my pirated Windows/Office/music and many Sup Forums frog/meme pictures.

*Bum tara did tara did tara did tara did tara did taratad*
*Bum tara did tara did tara did tara did tara did taratad*
They call me cuban pete
Im a king of ruba beat....

Overclock my fermis and jump out the back window

What happened to /fucko/

feelin like a W A R L O R D

*teleports behind each of them and slices their throats in a splitsecond*
You've made a mistake... Trash...

You think he's not

>be me
>have all sensitive stuff veracrypted with hidden volumes
>have a "panic" key combination that unmounts them all and logs off
>in an unlikely case of $5 wrench approach, the outer volumes contain some homemade porn featuring me and my gf
>mfw I don't even have anything illegal

Can they take off that hat and put it on later? Or do they need to make a new one?

Thbis is how you store your used harddrives.