I just tried to hang myself with a long HDMI cable but pussied out because it hurt so much. Now my throat is fucked up

I just tried to hang myself with a long HDMI cable but pussied out because it hurt so much. Now my throat is fucked up.

What is the best suicide technology that doesn't hurt so fucking much? I'm too retarded to even kill myself

try a VGA cable

Exit bag

Install GNU/Linux, you'll die of cancer pretty quickly.

Or suicide helmet. God speed user.

Tried that. Didn't work.

It only gets worse.

...

stick your dick in a psu when it's under load

Charge a Note 7, it's instant

Guns are pretty solid technology for such an occasion. It probably minimizes pain for physical (non-gaseous) suicides, so I'd say it was a fair shot. Good luck OP, doing God's work.

set your shit on fire, close all windows and stand up, preferably furthest away from fire.
You'll pass out before you burn to death.
Easy and painless, no Sup Forums required.

shotguns to the head are the best for suicide

hanging yourself is supposed to be done in such a way that your neck snaps from the weight of your body, not so you choke to death.

good job fucking that up.

Slashing your belly is the only honorable way senpai

>get rescued by authorities because we live in a civilization
>spend rest of life drooling in your puddle because you suffered so much brain damage from carbon monoxide

exit bag

>dont live in switzerland
>cant do assisted suicide

Just put your car in the garage and relax while the monoxide does the work. You can even shitpost while you wait.

stand on side of road
wait for truck
put head under wheel fast
pop

Op what the fuck man. Just take a bunch of pills and overdose in your sleep.

browse /s4s/ for five minutes and you'll eventually die of retardation

buy heroin and crack from local dealer, check for usual heroin shoot and prepare 10x the amount in sringe, inject sringe in vein and hit the crack at the same time that you inject. you'll probably get the greatest high ever and then od on the heroin.

find a friend
fight your inner demons, what are you, pussy?
If you think you can't get any friends, try finding someone even more pathetic than you.

I assume this is a troll.

If not, don't kill yourself OP. If you haven't accepted the only truth yet, Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal salvation, and he accepts sinners unconditionally, even murderers and thieves.

If you are honestly dead set on kysing no matter what though, do a shotgun to the head. You will die instantly.

Don't do pills, you can damage your liver, don't go with plastic bags or something like that, it can give you brain damage and you will live a prisoner in your own body.
Don't do smaller caliber firearms, you can survive those too.

HDMI cable in pooper while watching Trump

Use a fucking rope and give yourself a drop

Take off the catalytic converter first, dipshit.

That causes weeks of agonising organ failure

This

install gentoo