Weird things you believed about computers when you were little

>You can write software by typing what you want it to do in notepad and saving it as an exe e.g. "Delete Viruses"
>If you load a file or program too often it takes away memory permanently, and eventually you will have no more memory

Windows is good.

Fuck that's a sick leash. Should've been a bit more photorealistic, but it's a damn good idea.

yeah, if they put in the hammer, rear sights and a magazine it would be cool

>be 1989 in bumfuck
>look forward to visiting local shopping mall every time because there is a radio shack with a tandy computer on display
>think it will print money if i press the dollar sign key

eastern europe
guy is burning games and movies and is selling it online
i was imagining he would get by mail huge boxes of originals and then copy those
turned out he just had internet and knew where to look
on top of the fact that his older brother was a sysadming for biggest company in the city that brought him 2 times a month several HDDs full of the scene stuff

soon we will get technology in here that makes green text

My very first introduction to anything code related was BBcode and i felt smart as fuck being able to change fonts and images for an online text based game i played when i was 13. Im 24 now and i still play that same game but they finally switched to html for everything a few years ago.

I knew files I could run ended in .bat, .com or .exe.
Since I liked .bat the most, I renamed all my executable files to that.

>amount of RAM is the most important factor in determining how powerful a PC is
>"memory" refers to HDD space
>CPU means Central Programming Unit
>The Motherboard is second to RAM in determining power
>you can write programs in HTML
>All Apple PC's come with oregon trail, (like Windows comes with Solitaire)
>You can edit a .exe in notepad, change a value to "True" and unlock a trial version (I swore this worked for me once for MS Office... to this day idk what I did)
>Australians don't have computers
>Someone can get all your information, SSN, drivers license, etc., from you IP address
>"Linux" [or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux.] is a single OS, just like Windows or OSX (I think everyone believed this at one point)
>Bill Gates invented computers
>Bill Gates invented the internet
>Bill Gates invented
>the SCSI ribbon cable was a very important, non-removable cable that carried all the computations from the CPU to the RAM

I've probably got more

thought that shortcut was the best type of compression, i could fit all of the files of Age of Empires 2 in 1 floppy disk.

It's definitely sick.

Nothing even remotely embarrassing about that. Most of us started that way.

I thought by mashing up QuakeC files I could get reaper bots to play TF... Also tried to add in the Cujo mod

You can't come up with this shit.

Well someone did

I don't use greentext, so forgive me in advance.
>brother puts 3.5 inch Carmen San Diego disk into my 5.25 inch drive
>it gets stuck as fuck
>try to get it out but ultimately fail as the metal slidey piece gets left behind
>computer, upon reboot, complains about invalid system disk
>cannot get out the metal clip with tweezers
>assume this means computer is broken forever, and never use the rig again

Eventually, because we were poor and that same brother was in a body cast, the school system gave us this super poorfag rig that couldn't even open a word document without taking 15+ minutes. Was cool, it also had AOL

How

Try using that leash in Britbong land.

>Didn't know that RAM existed

if you press sleep on computer and it sleeps for several minutes when it wakes up it will run faster because it is rested

I was like 8 at the time, easy to think you're fucked man.

I meant whitetexting

oh, easy to do user
>0
>1
>2
>3

Ey, that's kinda cute I guess.

>be 9
>heard from someone that making games is very hard
>what could be so hard about it?

It's probably knowing what all the different file extensions do - BMP is an image, WAV is a sound etc. - if you know them and put them in a special game making program, out comes an EXE with the game. Kind of like cooking...

>be 13
>first times ever on the internet, signing up for a Yahoo account.
>form asks for a name and birth date
>afraid Yahoo will use that information to track me down and demand payment of many dollars for their email service and my dad would get mad.

> Age 5-6
> I don't know english very well
> Trying to run a game from 5.25'' floppy in DOS
> "Invalid command."
> It's saying my computer is now an invalid (a.k.a with a disability) because i broke it.

...

>Not using legacy captcha

Easy bro
>just like this

That the turbo button on old PC's actually made them go faster.... oh little did i know

Fuck
> fuck
>fuck
>fuck

When I was about 8 or 9, I genuinely believed that all computers initially contained all programs that had ever been made and when you bought a new computer, the sales guys just deleted the ones you didn't buy with it.

I spent many afternoons and weekends scanning the hard drives of several computers, futilely trying to find the traces of these deleted programs in hopes that I could restore them with the UNDELETE program that came with (then brand new) MS-DOS 5.0.

>solving captchas

>Be like 10 or something
>try to play Warcraft 3 online
>login to AOL account
>close it thinking it would keep me online
>try to login into battle.net
>I spent days trying to go online to no avail

My younger days were horrible. It just reminded me when I tried to play RE4 and I looked for cheats online and it would takes like 2 minutes for a page of text to load.

You as a kid was the normie of today.

Not in Rio de Janeiro it isn't.

I thought that cd burner was actually burning cds, like destroying old unwanted disks. Or itcould make new one if you had special software (cd maker) and put like plastic in it, it mold it and make new cd.
This is because I saw some article once in some computer magazine and they were discussimg cd recording (it was hacker stuff so they called it burning) and had a picture of a frying pan and a cd in it.

kek
underrated desu senpai

>Right click image
>set as wallpaper
I thought this would change the house wallpaper.

Whenever I got one of those errors that said "this program has performed an illegal operation" I always freaked out as a kid. I thought the police were going to show up and arrest me.

...

>Weird things you believed about computers when you were little

Only Batman had a computer and computers werent real they just existed in episodes of batman

i collected viruses and try to run them all at once

>you can drag shortcuts of programs to a floppy to use on another comp

It was fun when everything was new and mysterious

That is so dangerous you could get shot by a cop, please don't buy that kind of shit.

I thought the monitor was the entire computer and the tower was just for CDs and the power supply. When we got a new monitor that could display a higher resolution, it confirmed my belief.

I thought computers actually had signals that represented 1's and 0's flowing through wires.

>you have to log off before you shut down or the computer breaks

>atf sell a dog leash

> >Memes

an operating system came on a chip that you installed into the computer and if it got messed up your computer was finished

(unfortunately many still think this as adults)

>memes

>""""rig""""

>tried for weeks to get desktop my parents gave me connected to internet
>wondering why windows "set up new network connection" kept failing even though my dad had a 54g wireless router
>eventually gave up and finally realized years later the pc had no wireless card

>mfw this still happens to me
>get emails with big scary words I don't know in the subject
>automatically assume I'm in trouble

> >

>

I remember trying to download Linux and getting incredibly confused years ago.

I remember downloading debian and being a dumb fuck and erasing everything.

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE THE MOST ANnOYING CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW FUCK

I thought that every videogame was a choose-your-own-adventure video and every thing was predrawn.

oh god this. i remember sliding along the borders in all kinds of games with a disappointed look on my face

>Be me
>Be stupid kid
>Want to play allll the vidyas
>Ask dad if we can buy a video game
>Dad says the computer doesn't have enough space
>Ask wtf he's talking about, the desktop isn't even filled up with icons yet
>point to screen "See, there's free space there, there and there!" Desparately pointing to empty spaces, on the quite cluttered computer screen
Facepalm still to this day

> be a stupid kid
> computer doesn't have enough space
implying when you were a kid you didn't buy video games on disks or cds.

underageb&

I thought that infinitely skilled programmers could write infinitely fast software.

>be little kid
>C is a "useful" programming langauge
>Linux is a useful operating system

>downloaded a very early version of game maker and toyed around with it
>"wow so that's how they make them video games"
>decide I want to make some software or whatever
>google for "software maker" and "freeware maker" and "program maker"
>no conclusive results
>frustrated because I can't find the WYSIWYG thing that all software must necessarily be made with
>it doesn't occur to my undeveloped brain that there has to be some process by which said software would be created

>all you need to do is copy a programs .exe file to another computer to use it

> Your secret is safe with me

That sounds like kid-me searching for "hacking toolz"... What's funny is that's how I found Netbus

>this probably wont work buy I'll try it

› hiro is that you?

I think I used to think that too because the school made us do it

When playing Red Alert 2 I didn't understand what ping was but for some reason I assumed that a higher number was better. So I'd always join servers with the highest ping and kick people who had low ping.

I've see people do this all the time. IT WONT WORK ON MY CD/USB.

>Hackers are just like they are in the movies
>Once you know how computers work, you know everything about every program and can fix any problem with ease.
>Genius programmers exist and they can write any program they want really fast

this. The fact that it sometimes worked and sometimes didn't made things more confusing

What the fuck do raspberries have to do with downloading linux

> >dickbutt

>how?

○>HOW

>test
> >test

>easy

>normalfags
>>>OUT

>ezpz

►APPARENTLY FUCKING NOT

>take 2
>a

>imblygn

>normalfags don't know how to use their search engines

>if your computer is slow or acting out of the ordinary you automatically have a virus
Now it's my biggest pet peeve. Everyone that knows I work in software calls me to fix their computer problems and the first thing they say is "I think I have a virus..."

Disks are just installation media, moron.

FUCK

>ayy lmao

I literally believed that files that didn't open when you double clicked them where useless and wasting space, so i deleted all the DLL files on my father's windows 3.11 computer

And you installed Sup Forumsentoo after that?

thought you could any software by saving the html page.

On shitty laptops (like macbooks) and shitty PCs (like macs) that's exactly how it works.
On a related note, Apple devices are shit

Not everywhere is a third world country

> >test

>You could get a virus on your Sega Genesis. It traveled through the power lines
>consoles always had better graphics than PC's, which were only good for crappy looking point an clicks
>dust in your PC would cause it to slow down, and if you wanted it to be faster you had to physically clean it
>the more powerful the PC, the faster the internet
>if you could splice your coaxial cable into an ethernet cable, you'd have "free" internet
>deleting browser history deletes all trace of you ever having visited a website
>Each brand of machine had its own operating system. Evidenced by the different versions of Windows on every new PC we got, and different wallpapers on other people's computer
>your mouse had an actual tiny mouse inside that told your arrow where to go. The roller was his wheel that he ran in when he wanted to play
>installing games was pointless and just made you waste time, instead of playing the game
>Ctrl + Alt + Del was a secret hacker combo that got you into "the mainframe"
>Reboot was an accurate representation of how computers work
>3D cartoons will never look better than Reboot
>You can hold all the information on the internet on 1Tb (probably true, when I believed this)
>You can only save files to floppys and disks. Computers have no memory.
>flash drives are never going to take off
>USB is stupid. Everything can't work with that slot, because everything has different connectors
>Putting a piece of bologna in the disk drive will start of bologna game
>I think my bologna is scratched or dirty
>wipe bologna on shirt and put back in
>give up and eat it
>the only way to find porn was clicking the ads on cheatcodes.com and going into a neverending spiral of clicking ads from each site to go to different porn sites
>mfw this is how I got my taste for hentai
>askjeeves is better than Google because you can ask "him" an actual question
>People will visit my "website"
>I was computer literate