How do you prepare for an interview?

How do you prepare for an interview?

Other urls found in this thread:

blogs.microsoft.com/blog/2016/02/09/microsoft-hiring-program-opens-more-doors-to-people-with-autism/
hackerrank.com
twitter.com/AnonBabble

die

Read and practice on all the interview questions posted on glassdoor and elsewhere

Depends on how autistic you are, best bet is s benzo blackout, pass the interview with flying colors and end up starting with 50k more than you would have otherwise. Just make sure you Actually show up to accept the position formally or you might get rejected.

Get high and forget to show up because Cheetos are so amazing.

wtf is op's shit?

I have mild Aspergers, ADHD and social anxiety. Good with people normally and function well in most social settings, but I just get distracted and anxious in panel interviews to the point where I don't know how to answer their irrelevant questions blurt out something inappropriate. Has never actually happened in the workplace or in one-on-one interviews, how do I get around this? Is Xanax the answer?g

*and blurt out

/thread

>I'm here for the job interview.

well, this certainly scores you some points for diversity quota

Sure is gonna suck when he falls off his fixie and has to go get an MRI, lel

>That mole

That is most disgusting

Do companies actually hire programmers who don't have a beard? It's common sense

>Hire Chad
>Not really even interested in programming, he just cares for a paycheck so he can buy stacy trinkets so she will fuck him
>Not willing to learn much more, is more interested in football statistics
>Simple mind, shares a similar abstraction as a indian javascript """"programmer""""", only difference is he doesn't smell like poop
>Clean shaved, stacies wouldn't fuck him if he had a beard
>Comes to work hungover half the time because normie life includes partying
>Actually knows nothing but is not held back socially
>Doesn't get the job alone himself, but people don't want to shit on him because he's white with great hair, even though deep down they despise him

>Hire user
>Ugly patcy beard, fat, utilitarian clothes but far from fashionable, let alone presentable
>Considers a basic fizzbuzz degrading to him (to the point where he makes threads on Sup Forums about how shitty companies are for making him do that), even though he can do that no problem, is more annoyed that it's not his specialty
>Socially inept, borderline autistic but not audacious or abrasive, mostly comfortable when programming shit in peace
>Can actually create something beautiful if given enough resources and time

Every company big company that has been in the field should know this. Usually the learning curve is this:

>Hire Chad to program various shit
>Chad doesn't know shit
>Replace Chad with Indian
>Office smells like poo and while Pajeet technically can recite the entire library of commands (in java) his ability to think in an abstract manner is nonexistent
>Can't get shit done unless you are there 24/7 telling Pajeet and Kumar what exactly to do
>Get rid of Indians, hire Eastern Europeans
>Even worse but their English is so broken they don't even have basic communication skills. Pajeets could at least communicate by e-mail
>Also no fucking comments
>Hire user to fix everything

>Get rid of Indians, hire Eastern Europeans
>Even worse but their English is so broken they don't even have basic communication skills. Pajeets could at least communicate by e-mail
>Also no fucking comments

This is not nice, јeбeм ти мaтep.

traps are the best programmers

>Hire Chad
>team player (handsome)
>proactive leadership abilities (tall)
>straight to middle management
>spends all day bullying nerds

He's so metal, even his mustache is metal!

Eastern Europeans are the best programmers.

t. bydlo russian

>deep down they despise him
Only feminists despise good looking white men. Literally nobody else does.

Except anyone with brown eyes

>Russia
>Europe

I deepthroat my dildo until my gag reflex dies and put on some pants that show pantylines

cringe

I prefer a clean shaven look, but I fit the right-side portfolio

im like full right but i dont wear glasses.
When i think about that, im like only person in my faculty that doesnt wear glasses.

>PASCAL
>JAVA

More like c++/java/php/js
who the fuck use pascal

What kind of beard does an ASM/brainfuck developer sport?

...

Read practice but most importantly get yourself some of the good green eyed mary jane chill out

Looks like cancer desu

Take a huge shit.

Slam an ice cold forty in the car before I go in, hasn't failed me yet.

We have metal detectors at the entrance of our office.
I wouldn't hire this man for that alone. Security deals with enough shit with people forgetting their keys in their pockets.

>implying HR has common sense

>HR
>hiring autists

>start looking for another job
>watch company fall apart

>talio good sir, I'm much too enlightened to waste my life away at a 9-5 job, I'm here for my autism buc.. uh.. I mean basic income

And I'm a C# developer with a giant unruly beard.

blogs.microsoft.com/blog/2016/02/09/microsoft-hiring-program-opens-more-doors-to-people-with-autism/

I ja tebi, pičko!

I generally don't.

hackerrank.com

>Eastern Europeans
good thing we saved your asses in the dark/old ages, otherwise your name would probably be mohammad, and you would be sucking arab cocks all day
дa ти eбa мaйкaтa пeдepac

Whats wrong with the pro gamer look?

No need to be mad.
> пeдepac
No U.
Moot pls ban non-latin symbols.

Anything for bald with goatee?

manchild

>Moot

Rude

Listen to this kind user of macedonian descent.

panel interviews are bullshit.

happens to everyone.

How do you even live like that?

>this is what filthy unemployed manchildren actually believe

Attention sustains them

I'm doing interviews at medium company (~80 people) for android development, ask me anything

1. General preparations: basic datastructures (i.e. queue, stack, tree, map, heap, doubly linked list..) - what are they used for? What are the advantages, disadvantages? Common sorting algorithms (quicksort, mergesort, heapsort): write them from the scratch in a langauge of your choice without looking it up. What is the complexity in big O notation?

Don't cheat yourself here. Most guys think "yeah, I understood mergesort" but when they have to write it down in 2 minutes, they can't. Just sit down, learn your algorithms and then write them in you favorite programmign langauge until you can do it without thinking about it.


2. STAR questions: This is something like "what are you biggest strengths/weaknesses?" or "can you describe a situation when you failed and how did you react?".
Bascially these are bait questions for exposing you. Don't get tricked into answering completely honest here, better prepare some nice little stories that are kinda* true, but also make you look like a cool guy. It's not about showing you're perfect, but they want to make sure their man can work under pressure and can handle difficult situations. Google it up, if you have to.


3. Depending on your niche you might need some special knowledge. If you're applying for Web Development, explain AJAX, GET and POST requests, of course you have worked with YAML, JSON and XML (maybe even the DOM- vs. SAX-parsing).
If you are applying as Java develloper or as embedded C develloper you have different stuff... It all depends on the job.

4. Some DB knowledge might come in handy (depending on the field).

5. Relax, nobody knows everything.


1. Maybe use some meditation.

2. Talk to the people and tell them you get easily nervous in interviews. Avoid the words "Aspergers, ADHD and social anxiety" at all costst, though.

3. If you have pills, chose wisely. If they make you blurred/stoned they are no good. But if have no side-effects they might give you an confidence boost.

Rolf Bucholz is a nice guy. Met him once on a suspension day.

Why?

>prepare for an interview
I'll tell you a story of how I got my current job (translator, I know it's unrelated but it's too hilarious not to tell):

>be me
>one evening, mom tells me a friend works for a publishing house and that they're hiring
>I say I'll give it a shot
>send CV, scared a bit but it's not like I need that particular job, so no heavy worries
>Get an e-mail saying to pick one of 4 books and send 5 pages as a test
>Do it in an evening, no proof read, no prep, no nothing
>Get an e-mail saying "Why are you putting empty lines between every paragraph?"
>Explain that it was in the PDF original, so I thought it'd be appropriate
>Get a response: "Don't worry about these. You're hired."

I actually met my boss about 2 months after finishing my first contract. Felt good, mang.

Vyliž si prdel, kokote.

ví tvoje maminka že jseš tady?

Neví, nechala mě ve školce.

lol

Sorry, we don't need a magnet tester.

;^) Rád jsem tě pobavil, Petře.

dík honzo :^)

I don't.


No I seriously just don't prepare.


Experience usually sets the bar, so as long as you practiced an activity once (use snmp,dhcp know how to diagnose shit, know how to do and use the basic instruments of your very specific trade) you can't go wrong.


Unless you suffer from undiagnosed autism or touretes then it can go real wrong real fast!