Startup culture hate thread

Startup culture hate thread.

Share your horror stories.

That picture is literally me.

Everyone's trying to get funded.

Everyone blows their $ on autistic shit after getting $6+MIL and in investment $.

Give away all the equity to random people. Promise your investors 2-3x the equity you actually give them, then say oops sorry.

Pretend to be Steve Jobs. Everyone's on the dead man's dick. Elon is the second coming of Christ, he told me at a dinner function the other night. Did I mention I know his brother? Did I mention I spoke to the chief head of etc etc (name drop constantly, it's a surefire path to success!).

It's all about numbers. Sales goals. Fuck a functioning product and proven revenue stream. Sell things that aren't working and don't even exist yet, but it doesn't matter because we're magical engineers that will delegate the tasks to a bunch of people that are getting underpaid and overworked but should be grateful for the opportunity to work under our autism.

I've seen things.

>company is approaching 300 people
>brags about maintaining "startup culture"
>everyone hates the devs

So I'm working at this compression startup, it's pretty fun to be honest.

There's an autistic pasty white guy, a UNIX neckbeard, a poo in loo and another white guy who shouts in German when he's sleeping.

haha damn

>Director of operations at a tiny B2B software startup
>5 employees total
>All development is contracted to India. Like 12-15 developers over there
>Pay is great, got a bunch of equity. Hours are extremely manageable, 40-45/week never more
>Tons of autonomy, get to pick my projects and manage my own time
>I'm not even that great with computers, was a manufacturing engineer before this
>No bullshit office politics, every is straight-forward and I get to go home at 4:30 without being harassed to go out for drinks or anything like that

I know there are a lot of shitty startups out there, but I am having an amazing time

Third panel is my entire life.

I had to work.

I'm at machine learning startup
the amount of autonomy for employees is really nice, it's like I don't even have a boss sometimes

Im in line to start a small company and want to avoid being labeled a startup, despite the fact that start ups are essentially the same thing. What kind of culture should I avoid making and what kind of work culture do you Sup Forumsenticement like?

Wear a suit.

Don't get funding by sacrificing equity. Done.

> genticement
Thanks phone.

>be me
>go to shitty university
>no one knows it's shitty, everyone pretend it's good
>have an "entrepreneurship society" who believe organizing forums and discussions will turn anyone into an entrepreneur
>attend one of their events
>their main contribution is a list they compiled of the 10 most promising startups
>there is nothing to discuss afterwards
>great event guys

well, in general, a "small company" is denoted by taking out traditional loans and not predicating company trajectory on retarded hockey stick YoY growth. and a startup has been commonly known to be a firm initially funded by VC money. so...what are you?

The label "startup" is meaningless, what really matters is the attitude.

Don't do what everybody else does because "it's a silicon valley thing".
Don't waste money trying to look like a good company, especially in B2B a good product does much more than a good look.

Recognize the value of equity.
Startups enter this vicious cycle where they are considered successful by their shareholders only if they sell equity for funding, therefore obtaining more shareholders to keep happy.

i hope he is shouting about the jews

Don't get me wrong...it's not horrible and I make decent $...but holy shit the egos some of these folks have...

It's like...ok, you know angular...you are not a god on earth.


You will likely, inevitably become labeled as a startup, but others have good advice....except for maybe the suit thing. It helps but a suit isn't everything.

Work culture? Have clearly defined roles and make it clear who is responsible for what. I've worked with a few start-ups where everything is kinda delegated to everyone, nobody knows exactly what their job description is, and it creates unnecessary conflict / confusion. Also, hire people that can communicate fairly well. Autists may be CS / engineering powerhouses, but of they can't communicate with the rest of the company it will become more trouble than its worth. Fuck cereal and pajamas at work days...if I'm at an office, it's to work. I can watch shit in my pajamas in the comfort of my home thanks.


Also, please don't start selling a product that isn't finished / can't realistically be developed within the expected timeframe... make sure it works fairly well and is 90% ready for market.

Ensure you don't just hand out equity to everyone that approaches you. Don't make equity your only bargaining chip. Yes this guy has a good work history and would be valuable to the company but holy shit, don't give him 10% equity because, as we now know, he'll quit after like 3 months and take his absurd equity / salary with him.

I'm working at one right now.
Mainly this: Also this is the only company I've ever seen where there are more executives than employees. They're nice people, but they can be utterly incompetent.

metro is the future, you are just one of those who disapproves evolution, now you got a trashy w10 startmenu.

>"You've made your bed, now lie in it ."

I'm speaking to VCs next week and that'll be the majority of the funding.

I'm not focusing on image at the moment to attract talent. I feel like "the silicon valley" flashiness is a bit of a money drain.

No full blown suit, but I'm already accustomed to rolled up sleeved button up and slacks, don't plan on changing that. I'm not experienced in handling equity (Oh boy) but I already agree with the at least 90% ready for market thing. I don't like being a consumer with a beta product and won't submit others to the same thing.

If you're working with software you're gonna need to act like a startup. No one will work for a risky company if it's just like a corporate shit hole. Let your employees do their own thing as long as work gets done. Have a hip, modern office and no dress code.

Slacks and button up is perfect..if you can, try and find an experienced mentor of sorts that you can run your business decisions by. Accelerators can help you track down a mentor / advisor. Even at your university sometimes there will be a professor that is willing help.. They can help you with decisions like equity 4 $.

Selling things that aren't ready- not only does it make you look bad in the eyes of consumers but it hurts company morale when you're constantly behind schedule / missing deadlines because the sales team sold some impossible shit that looked good on paper.

Good luck with the VCs user.