Are you smart enough to work at one of these companies?

Are you smart enough to work at one of these companies?

no

yep, just prepare for the interviews they all have the same format with various degrees of difficulty depending on the company/team/position.

Literally everyone on Sup Forums probably has an iq under 90 or is severely autistic, so no

I'm to smart

>Literally everyone

Improbable.

>Are you smart enough to work at one of these companies?

I could easily work at Amazon. In their warehouses.

yes.

would I?

no.

Maybe, as a run of the mill admin

>Do you want to be an animated tool with artificial prestige and air cooler in a box?
No.

they all use open space

No
I got into final stage interview with one of them. Didn't make it, turn suicidal, drop out of uni, have been NEET ever since.

sorry man, which one?

M8 I've interviewed with 2 of them, one multiple times for different positions. I'm interviewing again for a different position right now.
Sometimes it isn't a fit, sometimes you fuck up badly and you don't get picked.
Not getting the job is not the worst thing in the world and doesn't mean you can't interview again at some later point in time

It's ok, for certain/role positions is fairly common, just try again there or at another one.

A friend got rejected 3 times from one and is now in a senior position at another one of them.

Sometimes it's just bad luck / team / time.

I have a big Interview with one of them in May. I go to a shitty university in Podunk, Southern USA and I managed to get their attention anyway.

They reached out to me. I'm so nervous. I have a high gpa, I'm far above most of my classmates in ability, but I'm worried that I won't get hired even if I pass muster because I didn't go to Stanford.

FYI nobody cares where you studied, or even if you have a degree for most positions.

The interviews feedbacks are the only thing that matters.

MS. They have the easiest interview too, as far as I know.

Man, I hope that's true. I'm studying data structures and algorithms a lot. Practicing writing them from scratch on paper.

Got two books, Cracking the Coding Interview and Programming Interviews Exposed. Been practicing the problems and more importantly, the problem solving process.

Anyway, how are you?

I do work for one of those companies but I wouldn't consider myself smart.

It is I work at one of them, have friends in most of them.

Cracking the coding interview is a great book to prepare yourself for the coding part.

Remember to speak while you think, it's important to show how you think. Also it's OK to not know something so don't be afraid to say you don't know but try to reason out loud, don't guess randomly.

You may also want to review your linux internals/OS knowledge depending on the company/position.

What about IBM?

literally poo tier

Google, SETI, Mountain View.

I found a job opening for a SETI on the self-driving cars I've been using to prepare myself.
Also, given that the position involves testing and tools, I thought maybe I should brush up on testing fundamentals and compilers.

The only qualification I saw that I had no knowledge of whatsoever was communication interfaces (usb, ethernet, etc). Was thinking about setting up a mock technical interview with the head of my department. He's super hype that I even got the opportunity so he's become a one man cheerleading squad.

Pays really well. I know they've got horses in some races, but the job doesn't sound very glamorous. We're not really here for the glitz and glitter though, are we?

>Amazon
>Google
Best workers are single with no life as working extra hours every day is expected.

>Facebook
What's the appeal?

>Microsoft
Sure if I could use Linux for everything. No problems with them, business is business.

It's true but it's also not. Your degree and where you studied is the gate that even gets you a chance at an interview at the first place.

>Facebook

If you like infrastructure they are probably the best of the group, not so much in terms of scale but in terms of engineering.

I hadn't thought of that, thank you kind internet stranger.

Are they still Saving the Princess in PHP?

Sure. Every big company has a janitorial services division.

Some things things are in PHP, but most engineers use a wide variety of languages.

tech companies should set up sperm banks and stock them with their best workers. That way they can ensure a future supply of workers.

Those are usually hired out to contractors.

Yeah still PHP from what I can tell. Mr. Zuck himself even recently posted some braggadocious article where he claimed to have created some AI and it was all PHP. I laughed and threw up a little at the same time.

I was pretty surprised to find out all the different shit facebook uses:

1.) PHP
2.) Javascript
3.) Haskell
4.) Erlang (at least for awhile)
5.) Experimented with D
6.) OCaml
7.) C++
8.) Python
9.) Ruby

...

Goddamn. How they do that without going totally spaghetti is nuts.

Must be some crazy back end on that motherfucker, 'cause I don't see much on the front to need all of that.

maybe, it's not really hard to do that
but why would I want to be a faceless cog working for a giant megacorp?

Yes. Worked for MS and now working for a partner instead. Better pay, and I prefer the smaller company vibe.

Well, from my understanding Haskell, Python and Ruby are mainly used for internal tools.

I'd love to know how many loc they currently have in production.

Lots of different projects/teams, use the right tool for the right team/job.

All these companies do.

I'd work there. Their data learning must be cool as a PhD level engineer, but not my field.

Yeah fuck that.

I like my office with its door that shuts.

Decent health benefits, 401k, profit sharing. Competitive pay, contacts, appeal to other employers, etc.

As long as you don't absolutely suck you are not as risk for layoffs--which are GOOD for companies and you if you are not a shit tier employee.

Don't let the small companies brainwash you. It's GOOD to be just a number. It means everyone gets treated the same.

smart enough?

haha

im to inteligent

clearly

I'd be a hell of senior sanitation manager.

This user speaks the truth. I work for like the fifth company that would be in ops image. I'm a total cog in the grand scheme of things, but a senior engineer and I guess a big deal in my niche of things.

Anyway yeah I make about $60k more than anywhere else I could work, i have unlimited vacation, no risk of layoffs or getting fired. I have cancer and have to go into the hospital for a month and take 3 months off. The company has been super supportive and I'll get paid the whole time I'm gone.

Haskell is used for spam detection. Erlang is used for their concurrent infrastructure on 3 major project.

if too smart to work for these companies, then start your own.

IT security is hot right now.

doing dumb things like place orders.

If you that smart, then work for Google.

you're a faggot. :P

that's okay.

Not all Stanford grads get into these companies.

At least, you are humble.

That's why they hired you.

Study PHP and Python.

Therefore's a big demand for people who are savvy in them.

the dividends and benefits.

And, just what field are you in??

And, jujst which company is this??

>amazon
talked to recruiters but nothing came out of it
>facebook
never responded
>Microsoft
never responded
>Google
canceled the interview a day before the first phone interview when they realized I was a recent grad

probably Apple

Chemistry, but I do like technology as a hobby.

bait, destroyer of threads

Both are on their way out.

This user does not know what their talking about--or wants less competition in with other in their preferred language.

>I got into final stage interview with one of them. Didn't make it, turn suicidal, drop out of uni, have been NEET ever since.

Woah! I feel you so much! That's like me.

I feel sorry for my gf to be with such a loser like myself. I am tempted to break up with her so she can not be so concerned about how loserish I am.

Python is still fairly popular. Hasn't been around long enough to be on its way out. PHP is for dinosaurs, though. The advent of serverside javascript has people calling it a legacy language.

I got to the final stage of the google interview and was doing super well until I dropped the spaghetti halfway through interview 4/5 of the onsite and that fucked me up mentally for the rest of it.

I have another one eventually. I want to believe that I can do it this time.

Given that you missed the second half of his post, I'd say he's spot on

Borderline.

My friends work there. Google and Amazon have reached out to me multiple times.

I am just an idiot though and can't get through these damn interviews.

Seriously, I am thinking about quitting everything. My life was a waste.

Hmmm... I have to be skilled enough to get on the Wndows UX Team I would think.

Get buzzed up before the interview up next time.

beta ass faggot

extremely underrated post
thank u for actually making Sup Forums laugh instead of the retarded grads shitposting from their iphones about how their life is Just So Hard™

I've worked at all of them

[spoiler]as a janitor [spoiler]for free[/spoiler][/spoiler]

how many dicks have you sucked so far? I heat Google only hires gay people.

The jealousy is strong with this one.

Can I just pay someone to hire me? And then if they don't like me after a few months they can fire me? I just need a chance man.

>average gpa
>low average school
>personal projects, but none of them particularly revolutionary or interesting
>only company I've interned at is fedex

i really doubt I am smart enough lol

Probably but having no knowledge of or desire to be in the field I wouldn't last long.

I've gotten interviews from Amazon before. The interview process on the most recent one was kind of intruding, so I stopped caring about them for the time being.

I work for one of these companies.

The bar isn't really that high...

>low ass gpa in high school because I never do homework
>bored by classes and sleep, write, draw, or brainstorm ideas instead of participating
>drop out from boredom
>took GED test a year early and passed with top%
>enroll in community college
>attend 1 class and find it's just like high school
>drop out
>Get A+ and Security+ via self study
>Get helpdesk job and learn Server 2008, AD, and Exchange administration
>Take a chance and submit resume for a job I'm not qualified for at all at big tech company
>get interview and nail it
All I did was explain how I might not have much experience, but am willing and quick to learn. Working at one of the companies in OP pic was great, but not as fulfilling.

Now making 6 figures at a small tech company. It's nice to have more input in projects and to be more well known.

The only thing I miss is the sheer amount of linkedin job offers, just for working for one of those companies.

>yfw there are (((design))) positions at these companies for (((art))) majors
>yfw you're an autist for wasting time and effort doing CS

Thanks for the advice anons.

>big tech company
>small tech company

I'm too smart to work at any of those shit holes.

The down syndrome is strong with this one.

>Smart enough to get taken for a fool, put through the meat grinder of starry-eyed young people, and burn out after 2 years of 80-hour weeks
>Waste all your $100k salary on rent
vs.
>Medium-sized company in the suburbs
>Very appreciated for what you do
>Live like a king with low cost of living

Working for Amazon's web services (aws) seems like fun. But I am likely too dumb, I can barely even USE it.

My intelligence has been slowly but surely declining for 7 years at least and I'm 25. What the fuck? This is killing me. I used to stand out and shine bright, I was an exceptional narrator and writer with quick wit and great charisma, now I mutter and stutter and mumble like a faggot. does low confidence cripple your abilities this much? Should I off myself?

>grow up loving and idolizing google/facebook
>apply for interview @ 20
>they wont even respond back
Suicide is the answer, in the note it will say, Google/Facebook lied.

TFW I want to work for Facebook because of the hacker culture most of the employees share along with the sheer amount of languages used (Haskell for spam bots, ftw). Honestly seems like a great and refreshing environment, no one gives a fuck and at the end of the day shit still gets done. None of that soulless enterprise crap.

But at the same time I despite Zuck, the Cuck and the Facebook company as whole i.e. at the end of the day, the business is making money out of invading the privacy of millions of users and using whichever ways possible to keep them hooked on Facebook. It could be good money but I would hate myself for working for them, and they'll soon fade away as well (most users already leaving).

Feels bad man. On a related note, does any know of a company that has a similar culture to Facebook's (comfy environment, lots of smart people working on cutting edge stuff, not overly corporate) without the disgusting parts?