Web design

>web design
>graphic design
>building rigs

what are some other easy tech skills you can list on your resume without technically lying?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=A_i9Atmqx7I
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>"rig"
Security will escort you out.

>>building rigs
LMAO.... you mean to tell me that you can open boxes of cheapest chinese-made shit and that you can assemble components and plug them into a board and connect a fucking cable?

A well-trained monkey can do that.

Machine?

>>building rigs
You absolutely don't write that in your resume.

Assembling computers or PCs

>it says from 2008 to present you were "building rigs", care to elaborate on that user?

lost

"I have successfully inserted over 20 different types of dragon dildos up my anus for educational purposes only"

They'd hire you on the spot, user.

> "HTML/CSS Programming"
> "Proficiency in Microsoft Windows and Apple OS X (macOS) operating systems"
> "Proficiency in Debian-based GNU/Linux operating Systems"
> "Proficiency in legacy Microsoft and legacy Apple software"
> "Proficiency in Microsoft Office and Apple iWork productivity suites"
> "Proficiency in Adobe Creative Suite"

Just do some wordsmithing, anyone who tells you they never lied on their resume is full of shit. As long as you don't lie about the verifiable stuff you'll be alright (actual place of employment, school, etc.)

If they call one of your references from your previous workplace and they know you were "good with computers" and the HR person spouts off some questions like "did they help manage the infrastructure in your workplace?" or whatever they will probably say yes unless they have a vendetta against you.

>Mother worked HR 30+ years

>Can tell the difference between butter and I can't believe it's not butter

"fixing" basic electronic devices; swapping capacitors out (applying common sense)

Literally doesn't matter just lie that you have their mandatory 6 years of experience as a software engineer to get that dishwasher job.

>configuring systems for business and consumer use
>diagnostics of software and hardware issues for consumer and workstation PCs
>network wiring in a commercial setting
>network configuring and troubleshooting in home and business environments
>custom PC construction to best fit client's needs

>I -use- Arch
>kicked out of the seat
>I use -Arch-
>"escorted" out of the room
>-I- use Arch
>shat-screamed into the elevator
>Crying Because Elevator Software Is Too Mainstream So Have To Find An Obscure Way To Do It Capital Words
>wait for someone to enter elevator
>"I -USE- ARCH!!!!!!"
>immediately gets off next floor
>Keep doing this for over 3-4 hours, only descend one floor at a time
>Make it to lobby
>equally shit-load neck loser walks through door
>nobody looks at him or asks anything as he walks forward so he works here
>I use -arch-
>That's cool, I like debian though
>earthquake shit autistirage nuclear explosion
>end up in trash can screeching "I -use- arch"
>3 weeks later put into truck
>I use -Arch-
>Truck stops at light
>I use Arch
>dumped into giant heap of cat shit
>I -use- Arhspllllllll
>burned
>become the ground
>ground hosts foundation for new building
>They have a server in it
>it runs redhat

kek

almost no HR department in the USA will do anything but confirm employment dates "yes he worked here from date x to y" That is all they will say

anything else is too much of a liability

How about instead of trying to jazz up your mediocre abilities, you hit the books and learn how to do something you can't. Life's a garden. Dig it.

t. Joe Dírtè

>How about instead of trying to jazz up your mediocre abilities, you hit the books and learn how to do something you can't.

REKT

>building rigs
Let me guess, the 1500W single GPU, single CPU full tower is yours?

You couldn't design a PC for a purpose if I handed you the use-case and the parts in a notarized list.

anyone else like how IT is the new 21st century snake oil salesman?

shit's hilarious

>puts building gaming desktop on resume
Keeeeek

Learn one OOP programming language, then proceed to list every OOP programming language as a skill

This actually works pretty well lol

...

Yes!

> Sound Engineer
> Mix Engineer

After lurking Sup Forums for years, and seeing all those "custom homepage" generals, and /wdg/, and basically anything to do with front-end and you faggots..;
PLEASE let me see your "web design skills" that you and everyone else here has. It never fails to amuse me how 90% of Sup Forums can't code anything that looks like it wasn't made by pajeets, 12-year-olds, or 70-year-olds.
Make my day, please.

ricing

Neural networks
>tfw know how to make a 3 layer network with one node in each

Show me yours and I'll show you mine ;)

HR is just one interview you also have to do a interview with the actual boss of the IT or whatever place you applying for

you cant bullshit you way in to a person that knows what the fuck is goin on in hes field

>feeding oneself
>dressing oneself
>wiping own butt
>not yelling 'nigger!' in public 9 days out of 10

swapping capacitors for no goddamned reason is the opposite of common sense.

If you want to get hired but your resume is shit cause you fucked up in school or just didn't do anything really then I'd highly suggest you go into your interview with a big portfolio of personal projects you've worked on. If you're CS then code shit, literally anything. Bring in the code and demo the program. If you're EE build shit. Literally anything, bring in boards, schematics, and other design documentation. You don't need to have done it at school. You just need to do it.

As for HR, well, you'll have to bullshit through that. You're gonna have to figure out ways to get "creative" with your resume. Remember to tailor it to the job and try to list your skills in such a way that it seems to overlap with the skills required in the job description. Don't blatantly lie but you're gonna have to embellish a lot and make things seem a lot more impressive than they really are.

If you have no other work experience in your field then list any work or volunteer experience you have. Even if it's flipping burgers for a year or two. Don't put it if you got fired though obviously. If you did get fired and have no other work experience then you can try to put it on your resume and hope they don't look into it.

Devil meat reporting in!

>>web design
>>graphic design
neither of these are actually easy to do competently
>>building rigs
this is kid-tier shit that a literal retard can do, people who think they're hot shit for being able to use google, buy things, and plug them into a socket are some of the most cancerous fucks on this board after consumertards

>Image-editing proficiency
I can remove the background for my animu girl pics with paint.net
>Audio Analytics
I can look at a spectral and tell if it's a 128kbps shit or a full range flac
>HTML knowledge
I made a rudimentary home page for firefox
>system administration
I have a blog and run (ran) an email server on a raspberry pi but shelved it cuz I just use my cock.li

youtube.com/watch?v=A_i9Atmqx7I

i am the HR

feels good

Professional mememaker

>this is kid-tier shit that a literal retard can do, people who think they're hot shit for being able to use google, buy things, and plug them into a socket are some of the most cancerous fucks on this board after consumertards
Except the majority of humans cannot do these things

>dick tunnel