Rescue a 5 year old computer

>rescue a 5 year old computer
>smile for the owners, promise i will take good care
>take him home and plug him in
>open his case, exposing his parts to everyone
>force him to stay awake 24 hours a day
>force him to run useless programs all day long, working his processor to full capacity
>mock him for having such a small hard drive
>make him watch as i use my shiny new macbook pro
>rip out his fans so he gets really hot
>laugh as his hardware starts failing
>unplug him and throw him in the trash
>time to find my next victim

post moar

>shopping in walmart and i find a cute, pink netbook
>i show her my charm and convince her to come home with me
>as soon as i get her inside i strap her down and install linux on her
>i open up all of her ports and share her ip address online
>hundreds of anonymous men begin entering her and having their way with her
>she can't handle it and starts overheating
>force my other computers to penetrate her with network requests as hard as they can
>she can't handle all of the requests, she shuts down
>force her to wake back up and immediately start abusing her again
>do this over and over for days
>she catches on fire
>i put it out but she won't wake back up this time
>toss her body into the streets and run away

Saged, reported, hidden, called the mods, emailed moot, emailed the admin, called the cops, called the state police, called the county sheriff, called your ISP, called the District Attorney, called Interpol, called the NYPD, called the State Attorney, called the LAPD, called Child Protective Services called the FBI, called US Homeland Security, called the CIA, called the NSA, called the US Marshals, called the local courthouse, called your State Constable, called London Metropolitan Police, called the German Police, called the TSA, called the US President, called the attorney general, called the National Guard, called the US marines, called the US Navy, called the US Air Force, called the US army, called the Royal Navy, called the governor of every state, called the Federal Air Marshals, called every sheriff deputy, called the Coast Guard, called the US Customs and Border Protection, called the RCMP, called every park ranger, called the mayor of every city in France, called the British Army, called the Queen, called NATO, called the Russian Air Force, called the Federal flight deck officers, called the UN, called the Corrections Department for every state, called the Australian Federal Police, called SWAT, called the Supreme Court, called the Mexican Police, called the White House, called the DEA, called the inspector general, called the Secret Service, called CNN, called ABC, called the vice president, called the senators for every state, called congress, called the pope, called CHP, called the Department of Fish and Wildlife for every state, called the internet police, called the US Capitol Police, and called the Party Van.

Don't stop, I'm almost there

You didn't call Saul.

when does the new season start anyway?

April 10th I believe.

This is giving me an unironic boner. MOAR

best thread on g ever man

best pasta ever.

>block all holes on pc
>open prime 95
>hear the pc start to sputter as it gasps for air
>not so easy
>open fur mark as well for maximum effect
>the pc is drowning in hot air but I will not relief it of its suffering
>I watch the temps rise on hwmontier
>A window pops up on my screen "please.Not like this"
>I close the window and watch it sputter to a halt
>dump it in the river and never go back

Not gonna lie, I got hard

Bump for more

>scrolling through craigslist
>there's an old computer that's still running windows 95
>his family no longer wants him and he's looking for a place to stay
>i offer him to live with me for a few weeks, free of charge
>he agrees, comes over and i get him set up in his own room
>while he's sleeping that night i sneak in and shove my usb drive into his rear port
>he wakes up immediately
>i hold him down and leave the usb drive in him for another hour before i take it out
>unbeknownst to him, he's now infected with my virus
>he tries to call the cops but my rootkit won't allow him to do anything to escape
>post an ad on craigslist asking for more people to fill him with viruses
>hordes of creepy men come in and shove their usb drives into him, loading him full of various viruses
>soon he's so full of shit that he's barely recognizable anymore
>it takes him 10 seconds to even move his pointer because he's so fucked up
>ads are constantly popping up on his screen
>take a drill and open up his usb port even bigger
>keep drilling until it's 5 inches in diameter
>stick my dick in the hole and piss all inside him
>he short circuits and i can smell burning silicon
>drag him outside and toss him in the dumpster like the garbage that he is

Put me in the screencap for reddit

Holy fuck, I didn't even think anything else was coming, that's amazing. Thank you.

Please don't reproduce
I met many retarded people in my years on this site but you easily made it into the top 10 with this

You actually don't understand shit, so please let me give you this one advice, and please take it:
You are horribly stupid and it hurts, don't ever try to spread the shit you believe to know about anything ever again.

Now please try to think about the shit you're telling us here for at least 5 minutes and maybe you find the giant flaws in your logic all by yourself.
No one is here to give you private lessons. Maybe google "How do computers work?".
If you still don't get it then, just kill yourself

Did you just copy-paste that in preparation? Seriously, I just copy-pasted and googled this crap and the first thing that comes up is:
> reddit
First off, moments after my post got through, you decided to make a 'I am better than you' post which is basically a copy-pasta. Seriously, I'm not impressed especially how you're just plagiarizing at this point.

link? i can't find it

>replying to copypasta

r/Sup Forums here I come

>buying coffee in a starbucks
>notice a girl and her laptop
>laptop not even 1 year old, it's smooth and metallic all over
>the girl gets up to go to the bathroom and leaves her laptop on the table
>i swiftly grab the laptop and run out the door
>people shout and try to stop me but i escape them
>finally get her home, open her up
>she refuses to let me see her private data without a password
>i make my other computers barrage her with passwords until she cracks from the pressure
>only takes 4 hours
>finally i can see her operating system and private data
>it's more beautiful than i had imagined, i get aroused
>i put my USB-C cable against her port and it slides right in, such a fresh port
>i keep putting my cable in her over and over for the next two days, doing whatever i want with her
>finally i'm bored, i wipe her brain clean so she doesn't remember a thing
>list her on the tor black market, make a cool $1500 off of her
>shove her into a box and ship her off to the next fucked up creep to use

is it still room in the screencap for me?

no

...

Wouldn't that belong to
or
as expected?

putting the hard in hardware

>moot

who????????????????????

I want user to reformat my filthy HDD!

>buy dying computer
>know it's near the end of it's life
>open it up to try to save it
>get my dick caught in the fan
>I cum on cat she hiss at penis

this post screams leddit
go back

>called the RCMP
At least someone does

YOU NEED HELP!
>typical mactard

moar

this isn't even on reddit. why all the reddit posting?

>he doesn't like taking broken girls and making them feel whole again

You degenerates make me sick.

Well redditted, meme friendo!

this reminds me of the guy who gutted the Xbox dev computer last month

/ksg/ pls.

kek