Sup Forums shits on programming languages

The one where we shit on programming languages in as few words as possible

I'll start with a couple:
Haskell:
>Zygohistomorphic prepromorphisms
Java:
>I don't like programming in a language for Indians by Indians

>python

Im not learning the language of the devil

>Rust
>who

rust

C = CANCER

t. Java """"programmer""""

itt: a bunch of "jokes" about language names and stereotypes because no one on this dead garbage board actually uses programming languages

t. supreme turbo (((expert))) C kernel hacker master

>his languages needs a fucking VM to execute
LOL

Rust needs no VM thank you very much

C is Communism

C is for Cucks

C is Cancer

...

>Python
Dynamic typing
>Lisp (CLISP, Scheme, Clojure, ...)
Dynamic typing
>Ruby
Dynamic typing
>Java
Type reflection - might as well be dynamically typed
>Lua
Dynamic typing and shitty primitive data structures
>Perl
Dynamic typing
>Javascript
Dynamic typing
>C++
Unreadable error messages, language standard that grows faster than you can understand it
>Erlang
Dynamic types
>OCaml
Ugly syntax
>Haskell
No dependent types

how is this different from /dpt/

It is distilled /dpt/. This thread throws off all pretenses of meaning.

C
No concept of security
Produces vulnerable binaries
Shit concurrency
Fuck ton of undefined behaviors

>no concept of security
PEBCAK
>produces vulnerable binaries
PEBCAK
>shit concurrency
not an argument
>undefined behaviors
PEBCAK

>PEBCAK
Nice try NSA

The 0 day exploits don't care who's fault it is.

Typical NSA/C shill damage control anthem

C is Turing complete, any code errors are the fault of the corresponding programmer

Guess we should all use Brainfuck now. Or are you too dumb and need a language like C to hold your hands and babby you?

>C is Turing complete
ok
>any code errors are the fault of the corresponding programmer
Nice one. Come back when C gets proper dangling pointer prevention, data race prevention, smart pointers and default immutability

C apologists are NSA shills plain and simple. Rust makes it harder to produce vulnerable programs as it actually implements safety precautions like Bounds checking, dangling pointer prevention, data race prevention, lifetimes etc. This is against the interest of the NSA and so they are shilling C so that people continue to produce exploit prone, unsafe and vulnerable programs.

Ignore the NSA/C shills. Programming in C should be banned and outlawed.
Say no to security exploits, say no to the NSA. Your data and your privacy is worth preserving.

Sure, but it's a language that uniquely sets you up to make disastrous coding errors. And it doesn't matter whose fault it is once the fucked up programs are widely distributed and people are getting their shit stolen because of a stupid exploit because the original idiot couldn't manage the memory correctly.

Also this.

>C
>holding hands
It doesn't hold hands at all, which is why Pajeets get buttblasted when a buffer overflow is shoved up their ass

Why aren't you writing x86 assembly? Are you a babby who needs a C compiler to hold your hands?

Sorry __xXL0rdGhostCHaxx05Xx_, everyone makes silly bugs unlike your super sophisticated academic fizzbuzzes

C.ucks BTFO

lmao, it's almost like you have no idea what the purpose of C is and why that's relevant as to why it doesn't have those """features""" - wait no, it's not almost like that it's exactly the case

>he can't collect his own garbage
>he can't check his own bounds
>he needs objects and other cock cage abstractions
t. code toddler

>what the purpose of C is
was*

C was built around 80's model of computing.
It assumes you still use 800MHz single core processor.
It assumes you have 64MiB memory.
It assumes you are producing binaries that needs to be ported with a floppy disk.
C holds back technology.
C is Cancer that does not address the fact that hardwares have evolved so much.

le sophisticated turbo expert (((C))) fuzzbuzzer doesn't need bound checker for his ultra sophisticated 1M LoC hello world program, check it out

>I have to proofread my C code
looks like i'm a #JavaMissile now

I got a question


How will C toddlers ever recover

>he can't figure out his own jump offsets
>he can't pop his own values off the stack
t. code toddler

Don't forget : 0 (ZERO) security

>data race prevention
Rust doesn't even claim to prevent this.

C is for hipsters

>C(ancer)
Give me 5 reasons why should I be using C instead of machine languages and VHDL or AHDL

1. You don't give a shit about the security of your programs
2. You are a hipster retro faggot that pretends to like old and obsolete technologies
3. You are a beginner programmer, too retarded for C++
4. You have been living under a rock
5. You don't like C, you only like to promote C as NSA wants you to do

>he posted this from an OS most likely written with C and x86 assembly
really makes you think

My browser uses JS and Python too. I never see a C toddler address that

C.ucks getting BTFO
B T F O
T
F
O

KEK

They won't. C is finished and bankrupt.

>2. You are a hipster retro faggot that pretends to like old and obsolete technologies
Not an argument
>3. You are a beginner programmer, too retarded for C++
Not an argument
>4. You have been living under a rock
Not an argument
>5. You don't like C, you only like to promote C as NSA wants you to do
Not an argument

>he posted this from a computer most likely built with transistors
Really makes you think.

>blames C for security vulnerabilities
>uses Javascript, second to none other than Flash in terms of security vulnerability on the internet

It's over lads.
Rust won.
C.ucks on suicide watch

>Not an argument
kek cry some more C pajeet

>MiB
Wait, you are one of faggots, who beebees instead of normal prefixes?
No wonder you're such a shit.

C is the mother of all security vulnerabilities

Why do C tards need a compiler to babby them? Are they simply too dumb to write assembly?

Permanent reminder

>Rust won
Says who?

C programmers are novice

>All pajeets people shiting on C

Dennis Richie and ken thompson

Use Go

Now seriously, why does Sup Forums hate Java so much ?
I never managed to get a rational explication out of this if there's one.

Beebee prefixes were invented by HDD manufacturers who didn't want to give full binary megabytes.
Any apologist of bee prefixes is a jew, who likes to fool goyims.

13 rupees have been deposited to your NSA C apologist campaign, pajeet

C tards are rekt HARD ITT

>Day 1 of Intro to C
>Pajeet opens up Eclipse and writes a Hello World program
fatal error
JUST

It's decided:

You want a program full of possible security exploit: C(ancer)

You want a robust and rock solid program Rust.

I use F# exclsuively, debate me.

>typical C experience
While Chads are getting work done and fucking your non existent gfs

>MS cuck
More pathetic than C(ucks)

I think the R in Rust stands for Robust

>he doesn't program in his processor's machine language
what the fuck

What does C stand for?

Communism

How old is this?

Java has had string switches since java 7.

Cancer

Last time I used Java it was java6 back in 2012-13

Code

C.rippled programs

Do you dream in codes?

more like Retard

saved

C is trash, use D

Dennis Richie is dead you piece of shit.

see Picture related: typical (((C))) experience

>using C(rippled)
What did you expect? Getting things done?

null

Only if you're mentally handicapped and know nothing about C. I find it bizarre and dangerous your piece of shit meme language permits altering the same piece of memory from different places at the same time. Any sane programming would avoid such a practice.

int i = 3;
printf('%d %d %d GO!!!\n", i, i -1, i-2);
i -= 2;

That was an amazing demonstration of damage control. C#, Java, D and thousand other languages do it without producing heartbleed

OH BOI NEVER TOUCHING THAT CANCER EVER AGAIN

And yet, none of those languages offer the performance and versatility of C, and will never come close to replacing C.

Tell me this is photoshopped

>buffer over-read
AKA pajeet's first time playing with numbers

So you are saying C would be bad if it produced the same result as shown on top?

see

Just tell me it would be bad if C allowed you to do so, user

Proves C people are mentally ill

Yes, because it promotes poor form by modifying pieces of memory at the same time. Obviously, a computer can't modify the same piece of memory at the same time, which is why different compilers and systems produce different output and the behavior is undefined, but if you were to model the system as a logical circuit, it would produce a massive error because you're trying to drive the same piece of memory at the same time from different places.

No language that encourages such poor practice could ever be a "systems" programming language like C is.

>No language that encourages such poor practice could ever be a "systems" programming language like C is.
Clang produces the same result as shown on top


Checkmate, C tard

It's still undefined, and Clang producing what you wanted doesn't change the fact you shouldn't program like that.

Prolog:
>No.