Be American

>be American
>get mauled

Seriously can somebody from this country or a country with a similar issue explain the appeal of owning a dog to me? Why the fuck would I want some animal living in my house like I'm some third-worlder? Why do my fellow Americans do retarded shit like defend pitbulls even after they kill dozens of kids, call themselves their dog's "mom" or "dad", or contribute to the below figure:

>nbcnews.com/business/consumer/americans-will-spend-more-60-billion-their-pets-year-n390181
>The American Pet Products Association estimates $60.59 billion will be spent on pets in 2015, up about 25 percent from five years ago. More U.S. households own dogs than any other pet. They tend to be the most expensive domestic animal. Basic annual expenses per dog are expected to reach $1,641.

Seriously what the hell is up with this country and it's fanatical obsession with these parasitic animals?

>inb4 muh companionship

Get real friends faggot

>inb4 muh security

A $250 shotgun provides better home security than a dog ever could, and you don't have to feed it or worry about it dying of grief when you leave the house for half an hour

>inb4 dey smart

Yeah so is a scientist from JPL but you'd call the police if they came over and started shouting at everything that moves before pooping on the rug

>inb4 dey love us

How sad and pathetic your life must be that you need to find validation in the blind worship of some retarded animal that's probably just kidding ass for treats

...

Kot masterrace

>all dogs are pitbulls
>all cats are tigers
>all plants are nightshade
>all weapons are nukes

>all dogs are niggers

...

people, especially Americans, are so desperate for any source of love, validation and anything to ease the wear from day-to-day grind that getting animals who "love" them is a welcome sort of anesthetic that makes their own lives more bearable. Not knowing, or caring, that dogs evolved specifically to act "loving" and dependent as fuck towards humans as a survival mechanism just to get food

in a way, cute puppies are literally just another opiate for the masses

Cats

Agreed. One day the Kaffir will have their filthy beasts slaughtered. Inshallah.

3/10
You seemed to have put some effort into this bait

I agree. Dogs are evil fuckers who should be eradicated. Please get me out of here!

Spoken like a true young virgin fedora.

This desu

"Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices. This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog." - George Gordon, Lord Byron

Sure is pleb in our former colonies

They are basically replacing children with pets, because they are misanthropic bitches who can't even order a burger at In-n-Out without their mommys because of their "muh-anxiety"

This is actually correct

me on the top left

You managed to be the ugliest creature of this bunch, good job

Goethe disliked dogs. Goethe >> Byron.

Fun fact: Pit bulls are no more likely to maul somebody than other large breeds. They just happen to get reported more than other breeds. When I was a kid Rottweiler was the breed everyone said was murdering little kids.

>Fun fact: Pit bulls are no more likely to maul somebody than other large breeds
except they're responsible for the majority of fatal dog bites

>Goethe >> Byron

In Germany, perhaps. Not among civilized nations.

Probably because they're the main breed for fighting dogs.

Large well trained dog plus gun is best security. I'm a fairly heavy sleeper and probably wouldn't wake up unless someone caused a real racket.

oh fuck off already

yes
they're bred to be violent

pitbulls are the niggers of dog breeds.

fuck I lold

OP is probably some kid who doesn't know how to raise animals properly and then wonders why they act out.

Yeah this

A dog will only be as ill-behaved as its master allows

Pitbulls are no exception

>t. Non white