>sitting in public space, Uni for instance
>laptop open, just lurking Sup Forums or something equally unproductive
>girl comes over and sits in my peripheral region
>instantly open atom/CMD/IDE/whatever and start hammering at keyboard with intermittent pauses during which I study my screen contemplatively while rubbing my chin
Anyone else do this? Has it ever worked?
Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were programming or something?
I just play my Nintendo Switch in public and no one ever enters my peripherals.
Only comment I got about my Thinkpad in public was "...Why is the screen square?"
Never seen a 4:3? How old are you exactly?
Flashing a wad of 20s, or carrying a box of puppies, might be more effective.
lol
No, I just drop a monster condom for my magnum dong.
>Sitting in public space
>Laptop open, browsing gerontophiliac scat while blasting awfuly dubbed post-witch vaporgaze with seapunk influences from phone speakers
>girl comes over and sits in my peripherial region
>instantly drop my box of 20 puppies wrapped in XL condoms
>get mad pussy
Works everytime
>Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were programming or something?
When have women ever been impressed by programming?
>He explains his virginity protection moves
Yes, that works every time. For ever.
>carrying a box of puppies
werks, but you still need the looks if you want it to be more than a friendly one-time conversation.
>impress women with your programming skills
Is this some kind of joke? Or are you actually autistic enough to think girls would like you for this? If you want to impress women you should have learned how to play music
I just pretend to yawn and stretch and 'accidentally' flop my giant dong onto the table
I load up WoW and leave my blood elf on the screen, that usually does it. (or selfies of my junk)
>sitting in a public space
no, i can't say i've ever tried this
>go to a cafe
>open my thinkpad
>go to Sup Forumsdesktop threaf
>start to make webm grabx11
>the waiter comes and ask me to please knock off whatever I'm doing and leave the place
>seapunk
Im vaguely interested
>sitting in public space, Uni for instance
>laptop open, just lurking Sup Forums or something equally unproductive
>girl comes over and sits in my peripheral region
>I close my laptop and leave
bump for answers
are you retarded? or just autistic? this is great.
Women can be dumb semen receptables, but also privy to your showoff attempts this pathetic. Most likely she had your screen in peripheral vision, noticed that you noticed her in screen refletction, you switched to be mad haxor in futile attempt to give off an impression as result, and she cringed a little inside.
There are ways to do it though. For example, click through facebook chats with other women (can be faked, but is a little bit of an elaborate set up), nobody cares about you clacking gibberish into a command line, the effect will be the opposite.
do the puppies have to be living
>Be in public space.
>Have crappy processor.
>Open HTOP and attach to top right corner of display.
>Have no software of the bottom side of HTOP.
>Firefox fills the other half of the screen.
>Girls don't care because they don't know what I'm doing anyways.
>Fuck 'em.
>Go outside, smoke little bit of weed in a pinkie sized bowl.
>Return.
>Continue trying not to destroy processor while high as shit with original gen Beats headphone because the Monster drivers in it weren't bad.
>No Problems.
They don't need to know what I'm doing anyways. Only time people were impressed were mates at my old school when SBC dev boards were a craze and there were so many bomb jokes about me I was legitimately thought of as a hacker.
mfw I just sat around smoking weed and watching boob tube all day.
I'm convinced this thread is bait. No one can be this autistic.
I'd do this if I wanted to look retarded so nobody would bother me.
Literally nobody will be impressed by that shit.
Curious. Have you ever fult the urge to run nmap fbi.gov in a dark lit room, OP?
t. autism
Buy a motorcycle instead
When it makes the programmer money
Depends on the person. Just make sure they are dead to filter out normies.
I don't know about but I'm having an urge to do it myself now.
When it fits their narrative.
>When have women ever been impressed by programming?
Way to be autistic, m8.
It's not the programming itself. It's what the programming entails and represents.
Programmers are:
>intelligent
>motivated and persistent
>in constant occupational demand
Not to mention the fact that any woman is probably thinking to herself that "Whoa. This guy's a programmer. If he's patient enough to learn the dry nuances of that machine and manipulate it to his whim, what else is he patient enough for? Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?"
Jesus. Anyone that doesn't understand how attractive the male programmer is to the feminine mind hasn't thought this shit through.
I can only imagine this is the thought process behind every white knight feminist.
Normally its advisable to try to mask any tell tale signs of me being a neckbeard loser.
If he's patient enough to learn the dry nuances of that machine and manipulate it to his whim, what else is he patient enough for? Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?"
t. autist
wtf dude aha
...
Programmers are:
>arrogant and with inflated egos
>clingy and bone-headed
>only if you can mask the two above, employable
>Not to mention the fact that any woman is probably thinking to herself that "Whoa. This guy's a programmer. If he's patient enough to learn the dry nuances of that machine and manipulate it to his whim, what else is he patient enough for? Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?"
The fatal flaw here is that most of coder ability (and more or less most of engineering) is self-taught and solipsistic. Monkeying someone as you suggest is a female forte.
We'd need sexbots.stackexchange.com first for your line of thought to get off the ground.
>she took the bait and is approaching me
>suddenly start to get nervous
>hey there :)
>h-hey
>(laptop almost slides off)
>she asks me what I'm doing
>Here, I'll show you...
>can't look at my hand to look up my i3wm bindings
>my hands shake nervously as I fumble around without being able to use the touchpad which I felt too superior for
>I'll just try the things I learned at the PUA course next time then
Found the 16 year old.
>Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were programming or something?
I doubt it.
At school people are pretty used to the sight of other people programming because the CS faculty is separate.
In public I think people are just going to think you're a weirdo.
It's all about how you present yourself. If you look like a little nerd manchild fresh out of the comic book store your chances of impressing anyone are kinda slim. People think in stereotypes because it gives them a quick way to judge and categorize people. You can use that to your advantage by looking respectable, like somebody that she wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with in public. Conversational skills also matter.
I.e.
>Hey, what are you doing here?
>I'm programming
This is short and to the point and as such absolutely useless in casual conversation.
>Well, I am working on a project and since it's nice and warm I thought I might as well do it outside and just enjoy the sun while working
This gives away some basic information about you that girls like to hear, ie you being productive while also making the impression of being laid back and at ease,suggesting you have your shit under control.
I save my jizz and let it dry into a fine power that I spread over all of the seats
So this is what the neurotypical world is like
they're more likely to think your have Aspergers or low level autism or something
Maybe she'll 'll think you're hacking her facebook account
Found the kid with down syndrome.
Yes
Learn it, use it, master it
>fine power jizz
Mmmm
You are obviously not programming if you have the free time to register random whores moving around you.
>sitting in public space, Uni for instance
>laptop open, just lurking /gif/ or something equally unproductive
>girl comes over and sits in my peripheral region
>instantly start jerking off with intermittent pauses during which I study my screen contemplatively while rubbing my chin
Anyone else do this? Has it ever worked?
Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were a faggot or something?
Yes, high wpm result is what change attractive female pussy from desert into waterfall
pic related
Never. I never had a laptop. Now I do but I wouldn't fucking do that shit.
If we're talking about studying, I remember once a few years ago I was sitting outside the class and most girls in my class surrounded me while I was doing some mad homework. They were just watching over me and talking pretty decent things about me, but I smashed no vagina.
You obviously can't read if you think the OP ever implied he was seriously programming instead of trying to court pussy.
I don't think anyone would be very impressed by atom or whatever shit IDE you use.
How do I impress girls with my programming skills?
And my general CompSci savviness?
That's a man, though.
hi
vim
atom supports vim packages
This actually works. Like it sounds crazy but drop it and a grill will pick it up and laugh and you laugh and start some banter.
I tried it once as a joke and it worked and then did it a few more times.
>sitting in public space
Ha ha! That's where you're wrong!
>sitting in public area
>girl sits down in my peripheral area
>alt-tab out of my emacs window
>open connection to deepweb bestiality livecam
>turn up volume
>reach free hand into sweat pants
>rhythmically shuffle my junk around while breathing raggedly
>notice girl is staring at me
>she's licking her lips and twisting a tangle of hair around a finger
>wink at her
>she blushes
>arch back
>moan loundly
>shudder
>orgasm devolves into coughing fit
>sweatpants now wet & sticky
>begin ignoring girl
>close browser
>open runescape
>mine several thousand coal ores
>girl finally leaves
>go back to programming
I have impressed womin unintentionally before
>be gril in uni
>finish last class of the day
>go to library to do homework and such
>all the good window seats are taken
>head for nearest seat
>walk past some guy clearly shitposting on an image board
>he notices me and frantically tries to alt-tab to something else
>starts meaninglessly mashing his keyboard like a chimp
>keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eye
>accidentally make eye contact
>he shifts so i can see his screen and tries to give me this smug look
>can't even clearly see what he typed on from this distance, looks like a notepad document
>try to hide my growing concern
>turn around and get to work
>he stops "typing" for a second
>can feel him return to shitposting with renewed fervor
It's honestly disgusting how much influence your kind has on us.
>Sitting in public place
>Girl sits in peripheral
>Slam the lid on my IBM think pad
>Everyone looks in my direction
>"Heh, Sorry, but I'm not into 3DPD"
...
The guy who makes these is so fucking butthurt it's hilarious
omg i thought i was the only one this shallow
You don't actually talk to girls that much, do you?
great thread, op
no really you've done well bravo
no but I'm probably not trying very hard because when that happens I'm actually just switching back to normal work so I don't get caught using Sup Forums unironically
>in hospital waiting room (regular checkup)
>im there early
>decide to play some games on my phone while i wait
>i like crossword puzzles, so i do some of those
>girl sits next to me
>starts looking over at my phone
>"encourage" she says
>this bitch just solved 3 down
>i was looking forward to doing 3 down
>turn off my phone, stand up, walk to the other end of the waiting room and sit down there instead
>continue my fucking puzzle
Real story, not even trolling or shitposting
> Open 15 inch Retina MacBook Pro
> Girl literally comes at me
> "wow, what a beautiful laptop, what is it?"
> "oh, this is a MacBook"
> "it's beautiful, very slim!"
> "uhh thanks"
If I wasn't such an autist, I could fuck her.
i always feel weird saying "thanks" when someone praises something i own, its not like i designed the fucking thing, i just bought it
but if i dont say "thanks" afterward, they look at me weird, so now i just do it
Yes it works all the time keep it up
Holy shit, you sound like a hideous autistic faggot that has never even gotten close to touching a vagina.
Fucking wizard
What kind of girl doesn't know what a MBP is at this point?
I thought normies loved them
What else should you say? Someone is praising something you own, it's basically na extendion of yourself.
By the same analogy, you feel sorry for someone that lost it's smartphone or whatever.
>Anyone else do this? Has it ever worked?
Yes but I do it to actually work and not impress some girl with my terminal colour scheme.
Also how in god's name do you expect to pick up girls that way? They're right, this board is full of virgins.
>instantly drop my box of 20 puppies wrapped in XL condoms
this got me
Programmers are elitist, stressed the fuck out and are a dime a dozen. Have you ever worked a job related to computers at all? Get the fuck outta here.
Do you actually believe this? Christ.
Most normies can't recognize a Macbook Pro due to the fact that they don't have a logo or company name on it's front (except the newer ones)
If the shinny Applel logo is not visible, it's just another laptop for normies.
HAHAHAHAHA
Holy fuck this is the most hilarious thing I've read on 4chins this week. Go back to r/asianmasculinity, you hideous delusional autistic faggot hahahaha
I actually feel bad for you, knowing how much of a beta retard you must be to actually believe the shit you typed out
>thinks that ignoring a woman while pretending to be working attracts a woman
That's not how it works Sup Forums
I'm almost sad I have to write that.
1) bugging a woman who's actually working =! pussy
2) ignoring a woman who's not working but fishing for men =! pussy
3) not having something of value to a woman fishing for men =! pussy
So pasty user, if you are not attractive, don't have money, and don't talk to a woman you'll never get pussy. And even then it only works if she's fishing for men, not doing homework.
So take the words of Hockey Legend Wayne Gretzky to heart, you'll score on exactly 0% of the shots you never take. If you don't get off your ass and say hi you'll never get pussy. good luck, hopefully this will get you moving in the right direction.
>sitting in public area, usually the lounge in the uni's science building
>open laptop, revealing a wallpaper w/ sexy lolis on it
>start watching episodes of Nisemonogatari on it
I drown in loli pussy everynight. Remember, a hentai a day keeps the sloppy 3D vaginas away!
>Slam the lid on my IBM think pad
>Everyone looks in my direction
>"Heh, Sorry, but I'm not into 3DPD"
This guy knows what's up. Just be gentler next time - you'll hurt the screen.
> Open 15 inch Retina MacBook Pro
> Girl literally comes at me
> "wow, what a beautiful laptop, what is it?"
> "oh, this is a MacBook"
> "it's beautiful, very slim!"
> "not as beautiful and slim as you..."
Solved. Next!
>Go back to r/asianmasculinity
Oh lord, at first I thought it was a fetish sub but then I realized it was just a cesspool of failed Chinese kids who probably didn't pass their semester finals and were dishonored by their family.
r/asianmasculinity poster detected
Kill yourself dude
It's easily one of the top three cringiest, most pathetic places full of hideous betacuck slant subhuman losers on the internet
this is the truth
let me tell you my sad tale
>had been a fat fuck my whole life
>always assumed women werent interested for that reason alone
>5 years ago i decide to start losing weight
>i lost a huge amount of weight over the course of a year and a half
>actually look pretty decent
>assumed women would just start talking to me, and showing interest in me
>nope
>if anything, women were even more reluctant to approach me, both in the workplace and out
>turns out they are generally more self-concious about themselves than i was about myself
>despite knowing this, still too scared to approach women and ask them out
>its not just the fear of rejection, its the potential loss of dignity if she decides to make fun of me
>eventually start putting weight back on
>i now have a .jpg waifu and a date with my right hand
>dont be me
you should go to parties user, go alone. Drink and go to the bitch hunting, you WILL find pussy this way, I guarantee you.
Now go back to losing weight, you lazy fat fuck, unless you want a fat bitch just like you.
im on it, sir
You need to get muscular. After 9 years of lifting, did a light cycle, orals only. Can tell you 100% that being a jacked, ripped guy of decent height with a kind face, girls will talk to you, every day. Occasionally a club slut will simply decide she's going home with you and hover around you all night until you take her home.
>Run syskey and find wiruses
>Wow, pajeet, u r so smart pls go poo with me
>tfw i don't carry my laptop around because i've lost the habit of concealing my porn so much i use it in bed
nice
Fuck, and here I thought I was delusional. Thanks for making me feel better bout myself Sup Forums.
>emacs
into the fucking trash
you are more delusional than the kid wrapping puppies in XL condoms.
kek
>=!
Shouldn't it be either "!=" or "= !pussy" ?
>long term gf breaks up with me
>been almost a year since i've had sex
>growing more autistic by the day
anyone else feeling this
yea except im a virgin and never had a gf
In the same boat. GF broke up with me 2 years ago, every day girls seem more disgusted by me. Probably gonna die alone. At least I'm pretty wealthy.