ITT we imagine a day in the life of the poster above

ITT we imagine a day in the life of the poster above

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>wake up
>trundle to McDonalds on mobility scooter
>get shot
>die because can't afford $200,000,000 healthcare bill

>wake up
>drink tea
>it's raining
>for the 27th day in a row
>work in a bland office
>boss is a knobhead cunt
>go watch some footy with the lads
>get mugged by pakis on the way back
>post angry messages about immigrants on /brit/ while drinking some tea
>wank off to shemale porn before going to bed

>wake up
>check int
>create thread about the French
>Neet all day
>tfwwhennogf.jpg
>check French thread
>cry himself to sleep

>wake up
>drink water
>shitpost on Sup Forums
>microwave something, anything
>shitpost on Sup Forums
>go to sleep

>wake up
>eat food which probably would have tasted better if left alone instead of "cooked"
>with a knife which doesn't cut because real ones are banned in Britain
>clean breakfast crumbs from my insanely shed teeth
>go work at the bank
>it's raining again
>discuss Brexit at the pub until too drunk
>get harassed by chavs on the way back
>read a bit of Shakespeare or Milton and, finally, life isn't that bad after all

>wake up
>go outside
>look for potato
>no potato
>hate on the Commonwealth
>be robbed by gypsies
>get robbed by russian gopniks
>come back home
>drink vodka
>shitpost on Sup Forums

Closer than
But both pretty good
Wew a frog

You're right, my bad, I forgot
>shitposting on the Internet about France because the butthurt of all these lost wars still lingers.

Mommy, Daddy don't fight

>tfw Sup Forums isn't even good at Sup Forums greentexts
this board deserves a swift nuke

Oh here he goes again. Look at you Canada, posting here thinking you just said some smart shit.

Out of all countries that post here Canadians are the ones that piss me off the most. Their entire fucking culture makes no sense. What exactly is it that you do? Wear flannel shirts and slurp syrup?

If I think of America I think of guns, pop culture and freedom. Sure, lots of ignorant baboons but at least they wear their retardation like a badge of honor, use it as a cultural identity, their flag promotes the unity of the country with all these stripes and stars.

Germany is orderly, a country that prides itself on its rules and their citizens who follow them. It's also the country with the biggest responsibility when it comes to destroying Europe with its two world wars and government sanctioned refugee crisis. Their flag waves strong colors, black, red and gold. A dominant flag for a dominant country.

Russia is strong and stubborn to a fault. They live hard lives and don't complain about it. Obviously the entire country is pretty much a shithole but it breeds strong people who can take care of themselves. Their flag represents the cold, the white, the blue but also the burning passion in the red, it all comes together to signify that their country is bleak but there is strength in that.

But Canada, what are they fucking known for? Being "nice", i guess? Is that your role in the world? Being fucking nice? That's not an achievement. Everyone can be nice. It's easy to be nice. You just don't have to say anything bad. So what did your fucking country decide to put on their flag to show the entire world what Canada is all about? A leaf. A FUCKING LEAF. You decided that you like to slurp your shitty syrup so damn much that you might as well put the fucking leaf that it's made of on the flag. You don't even respect your own country so why the hell should I.

>wake up
>drink tea
>fuck my 11 yo slag daughter

>3/4 of his national territory belonged to Spain
>mommy, daddy

Le burger

We're not fighting sweety, daddy is just a bit angry because mommy punched some teeth out of his gums when we were younger.

>wake up
>bail water out of room with a bucket
>save a little to make a coffee
>drop stroopwafel into water which has again risen to knees
>use water bike to cycle to pub
>drink several small foamy beers
>miss the urinal a bit as drunk
>flood country

No. He stole 1/4 of his territory from Britain (with France help), bought another 1/4 from France (at a fair price considering we had never found any use for it) and moved into a lot of the rest which was empty instead of some tribes who misteriously disappeared.
I doubt "acquisitions" from Spain are more than 1/4, and they came later.

By 1803 the US were largely "half-British half-French".

>roleplaying as cunts

wake up
drink vodka on the train to work
discuss atheism
contract herpes from gf
use rotary phone to call grandmother who only speaks russian
change into adidas
squat
cry self to sleep wishing you were western european

>frogs actually believe this

>be french
>commit a terrorist act against an irrelevant country in the ass end of the world
>fuck it up
>agents get caught by maoris
>defense minister surrenders

>handling the banter this poorly
wew

A FUCKING LEAF

AHHAHAHAHAHA...HOLY SHIT

LIKE...AHHAHAHAHHAA..WHAT...THE....FUCK.........A LEAF!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD....HAHHAHA....JESUS.....CHRIST....MOHAMMAD....(PEACE BE UPON HIM)......AN...ACTUAL....FUCKING....LEAF....ON.....A......FLAG....LIKE….LITERALLY….AN…ACTUAL……HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..”COUNTRY’S”….FLAG….WHAT….THE….ACTUAL….FUCK…..HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.....HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...OH GOD....I'M.....I'M DYING....HAAHAHAHHAHA....I CAN'T....I CAN'T BREATHE.....HAAAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!

LIKE….WHAT…LE…FUCK….HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…A..FUCKING…..LEAF!!!!!.....OF….ALL…HAHAHHAHAHHA…THE….THINGS….A…….LEAF!!!!!!!...HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..WHAT……WERE…..THEY….THINKING!!!!!!!!

LMAOOOOO….JUST….FUCK….HAHAHHAHAHAHA….MY….FLAG…UP!!!!!!!!

>wake up
>go outside
>gets attacked by moose
>go to park
>gets attacked by goose
>get to store
>gets attacked by bear
>on the way home
>gets attacked by deer
>posts on Sup Forums
>get called a leaf
>cry himself to sleep

>Be New Zealander
>Not know that ships are considered national territory of the country they're registered in (Netherlands in that case) not the one they may harbor in
>Support hippies who planned to sail their ship into the middle of a nuclear bomb test (or get sunk by the French navy trying)
>Be okay with said hippy ship probably having KGB agents (in addition to French agents) aboard, during the Cold War
>Spread Dubbya propaganda which never was good banter even in 2003 when it became a meme

>be white american
>wake up
>ask his roommate about his ethnicity for the 120th time.
>walk 8 miles in order to find the nearest 7-11.
>arrives, and starts pretending a foreign german accent
>white clerk ask his ethnicity.
>1/5 german, 1/5 french, 2/5 swedish and 1/5 cherokee.
>*black man approaches*
>dials 911 and ask for a swat team.
>swat team arrives and shoot the unarmed black dude.
>Gets a complementary blanket and cocoa for his patriotic job.
>Goes to Sup Forums and complains about how every black man is racist.

good lad

>Be English
>Actually believe you won the HYW and conquered France

be mexican
whole family is killed by cartels
12yo sister is pregnant
fuck this I'm going to america
cross border to work at mcdonalds
spend every night drinking tequila in your underwear
we wuz aztecs

Wake up.
Eat delicious breakfast of chilaquiles.
Go to work selling chiclets on the street.
Get kidnapped.
Get decapitated to the blaring sounds of mariachi music.
Go to heaven, ride feathered serpent, and hangout with Our Blessed Lady of Kukulkan forever and ever.

>wake up
>try to make a humourous post on int
>realise feeble american mind cannot grasp how to greentext
>post and close the tab, crying to self.
>escapes to university safe zone

bad post.
good post.

>wake up to the call of the muezzin
>pray for 2 hours
>say goodbye to 12 year old wife
>go to work at the mosque
>pass by immigrants
>thank them for culturally enriching my country
>get beheaded

>be Randy Dandy "AR-15" McHickory Jr the Third
>wake up on both sides of the bed
>mother dresses you
> go to gamestop to spend neetbucks on next assasins creed
> get lunch
>KFC bucket, 3 litre shake
>waddle to bus, crushing small child
> get home
> jerk off to my little pony .gifs
> scream at mother for dinner
>TENDIES.jpg yummy yum yum for my tummy tum tum
>cry yourself to sleep at 2am

>litre

>not using freedom units

...

>wake up on both sides of the bed
Holly shit. I'm dead.

thanks beheadbro

>wake up in a pile of garbage to the screams of cartel victims
>have breakfast of tortillas and dirty water
>put on sombrero and poncho
>work all day for 3 pesos
>walk home
>robbed of days wages by banditos
>such is life in the greatest country on earth

No one of you fuccbois can't imagine what lifes like in grourios Zoroastrian republic of Iran

>wake up
>go outside
>recieve 40 lashes
>get hanged
>resurrect at nearest Fire Temple
>go home
>eat pilaf
>sleep

>wake up and rape 8 year old wife
>my other 13 year old wife watches
>walk outside and dodge suicide bombers
>work for the government hacking western hotel websites to show support for Allah
>go home
>buy a third 11 year old wife on the way
>rape new wife
>she's not a virgin
>behead her because she's a filthy whore

sounds like an excellent life

>wake up
>go to coffee shop
>get SMOG'D
>place your order with the dude serving you
>accidentally make eye contact
>get HANG'D for being a faggot
>everyone cheers

>wake up and rape 8 year old wife
>my other 13 year old wife watches
Extremely haram.

>wake up
>has an heart attack
>sues the heart attack
>Wins the trial
>gets rich

>wake up
>pray to dengri
>masturbate to map of greater azerbaijan
>fap to rule 34 of asena
>eat kofteh
>masturbate to map of greater azerbaijan
>go to sleep

Increase ages by about 7 years and this is perfect.

>wake up at 12 pm
>commence pizza roll
>shit post for 4 to 5 hours
>eat dinner, consisting of whatever is in the freezer or a delicious takeout meal from a local dining establishment
>shitpost while eating
>get yelled at by parents for not having a job
>shitpost for 8 more hours
>go to bed
>repeat

>wake up to the sounds of homosexuals being whipped
>put on your Sharia approved government clothing
>wife cannot leave house because of Sharia Law
>cry because your grandfather didn't join the SS for the Fatherland to end up like this
>go to work
>pass by group of Syrian refugees
>thank them for their peaceful religion
>get blown up by suicide bomber

Sorry bub

t. full-time wageslave

Not to say I don't shitpost at work tho

t. currently shitposting at work tho

>implying there is anything else to do at work

test

If a korean posts on this thread the heat is gonna come down hard

Only if best Korea

Perfect live

>wake up to the sound of tyrone fucking your wife
>thanks tyrone for fucking your wife
>go to kitchen to preper breakfest for tyrone
>my 17 year old daughter wants car keys so she can go out to party in some ghetto
>but i already gave the car to my transgender "Son" so he can go to doctor and recive another supply of estrogen
>have an argument with my daughter
>my daughter ranaway with my wifes bull
>my wife have an argument with my daughter for stealing her bull
>9 months later
>my daughter returnes home with my wife's bull's son

Best Korea doesn't have anyone with computers, I was referring to South

>wake up
>can't wake up
>save me mommy i can't move
>paralyzed from the immense weight of subcutaneous fat crushing spine
>mommy help

Do your worst.

>wake up in oil bath surrounded by sweaty hairy men
>you fell asleep the night before during a wrestling party
>you locate you robes and leave the bathhouse
>you decide to take a walk
>men in black balaclavas wrestle you to the ground and put a bag over your head
>you wake up in an undisclosed location and you are swiftly beheaded

i see nothing wrong with this

>wake up in the desert
>illegally crossed the border 2 days ago
>out of the 13 people I started out with only 7 remain
>3 died and 3 were captured by the Border Patrol
>hear a helicopter
>hit the deck
>get picked up by La Migra
>deported
>shitpost on Sup Forums

>wake up
>complain
>change nothing

>wake up
>be a productive member of society
>go to work in a well paying job
>proud of living in one of the fastest growing countries in Asia
>eat delicious food
>appreciate your diverse culture
>go home to a beautiful wife
>go to sleep happy

Its Iran you blind fuck not mexico.
Aren't you the guy from Sup Forums who mistook my flag for a mexican flag again?

>wake up
>be a fat piece of shit
>cry myself to sleep while my sister gets destroyed by 5 tyrones

>falling for this

>Iranian """""""""""""""meme savvy"""""""""""""""

>wake up in 10 sq ft apartment shared by 6 people
>go to work at samsung factory making horrible cellphones for America
>after a grueling 18 hour work day, you begin to walk home because you sold your car to afford 3 plastic surgery operations to cure your complete lack of chin and nearly blinding level of eye slant
>during your walk home you pick up a delicious dinner consisting of stray dog meat and shit wine (youtube.com/watch?v=74V4BOF5IAg)
>crawl into your tiny Seoul apartment after climbing 45 flights of stairs and fire up your 2003 Windows XP computer and find a saucy video of soulless kpop girls dancing
>you mute the audio because the music is shit and begin to jack your tiny 3 inch (nat. avg) shimp-dick
>you play a quick game of starcraft but you have to stop because playing video games past 12 am is illegal because too many teenagers die in cyber cafe
>from the other room you hear your neighbor you have had a crush on for years getting fucked by an American tourist
>you cry yourself to sleep and dream about losing war to North Korean army which is significantly bigger and more powerful than the S. Korean shit army consisting of starcraft playing sweaty teenagers

>wake up in my barn
>remember I have crippling 6 digit student loan to pay
>breakfast is more important
>roll over to burger king and ask for the breakfast menu
>and the lunch menu
>and the diner menu
>leave the standard 40% tip and enjoy my breakfast
>on my way home I give a homeless person some money even though he is technically richer than me because of my debt
>trip and fall on my way home and 6 digit debt turns to 7 digit debt
>see no way out, it's time to an hero
>go to nearest gun vending machine and buy an ar15
>get shot by a random black person as i'm doing this
>leave one final shitpost before I die
>I wish I celebrated easter

Nah,some guy "ackshoally" mistook my flag for mexico back on Sup Forums and he admit it

And since it was coming from an american,anything is possible

>Wake up at 5 am to go work at 7:30 am
>Eat kebab for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
>Be a dirty Ossi and get discriminated.
>You got fired from work because you were replaced by a turk immigrant
>Come back home when Mohammed and Altan (immigrants who you give asylum) are waiting for you.
>Masturbate thinking in Wehrmacht and Dritten Reich... Cry when you realize what's Germany now.
>Make a Hitler joke... Get jailed. Die.

>Wake up
>Apply chalk to face
>Tell Sup Forums that Argentina is white

Sure thing, Jorge :^)

>wake up
>eat pancakes wit mapple sirup
>play hockey
>go to Tim Hortons
>shitpost on Sup Forums

>wake up
>layer up because it's -60 degrees out in May
>ride moose to Tim Hortons
>get coffee and donuts
>pour maple syrup in coffee before drinking
>pass a fellow Canuck riding a moose
>say hello
>forget to say "eh" at the end
>Mounties swarm you instantly
>say sorry
>immediately released

Living the dream desu

>wake up
>jerk off about glorious French army in WWI
>cry because muh Maginot Line
>eat baguette for breakfast
>walk outside and buy snails for lunch
>get shot by ISIS

>Wake up
>go to school
>Get shot

Wow so creative

>Implying there is anything creative in America.

Have you SEEN how many different potato chip flavors we have?

Creative diabetes

Well my apologies then.

>Wake up
>Travel 20km by cart to pay monthly tribute to Dr. Doom
>Fantastic 4 attacks Doom's castle
>Pillar falls over and I get crushed to death

>wake up
>turn on the TV
>go to the channel where le weedman is leading everyone in morning worship of Allah, our father
>walk through the woods to get to Tim Horton's
>trip on a beaver dam
>stick goes under your kneecap
>can't walk
>local moose notices your compromised state
>get gored
>needing to get to Tim Horton's for your hourly poutine with extra syrup, you start to crawl
>make it to the roadway, Timmy H's is right across the street
>get run over by a van of chinks
>die
>the leaf flag blows proudly in the wind above you

God Save the Queen ;_;7

I don't see why people make fun of poutine. That shits delicious

>wake up
>pray to shitskin god of war
>honor-kill sister
>go to work at nuclear missile factory and build missiles to blow Israel up with
>wank to a map of the Achaemenid Empire
>WE WUZ

>wake up
>can't wake up
>die

pro brexit people are retards to be fair, accurate though

>stereotype in a stereotype-bait thread

Durr

>wake up
>watch le weed man on TV giving a speech how Canada needs even more immigrants
>go into the living room
>find your gf and Xiang fucking on the couch
>eat poutine
>go down to Tim Horton's for a coffee
>repeat 40x a day I am not American I am not American I am not American I am not American I am not American
>hope the Oilers win tonight
>masturbate to the idea of Alanis Morrisette, Celine Dion, and Avril Lavigne having a lesbian threesome
>sleep

I guess these are accurate?
I'm not sure, since I was born middle class.

Best Korea has posted here before

>Wake up
>eat mac 'n cheese as breakfast
>Turn on tv, Milo is on
>Ye you show those cúcks who's boss, Milo
>notice package stuck in letterbox, it's the 3rd of the week
>Throw away bills, the ebul gubmint won't get me
>It's my 4th limited edition MAGA hat
>Includes printed letter saying thanks
>I've personally lead Trump to victory
>1 hour has passed, time for a light snack
>pour whole box of hotpockets in the microwave
>That should last me until lunch
>Search for hentai
>One comment: Trump will make hentai real
>Tears of patriotism shed. 'You show him, champ'.
>masturbate furiously for next 2 hours
>Time for lunch
>No more hot pockets
>Blame Hillary Clinton for this
>Call parents to ask for more money
>B-but we just gave you money, user! How could you be out of money already?
>I spent it on the only worth cause; Trump's glorious limited edition (2nd edition)
>But no kidding, I still need money for hot pockets, MOM
>No son I think you should lose weight, and why did you ever rent a home yourself if you're not planning on sustaining yourself?
>An infographic on Sup Forums said living with your parents makes you a loser.
>Now about that money
>Fine
>Receive money on bank account
>Luckily store is only 500 feet away
>Buy 10 boxes of tendies, and 10 boxes of hotpockets
>Come home, reward self with 1 box of each for doing that much exercise
>Go back to hentai, screenshot some parts and photoshop MAGA hats on the girls
>I'm doing the god emperor's work
>Call some people cúck on Sup Forums for disagreeing
>Sometimes they don't run off with their tail behind their leg and have a retortion
>Call them a cúck again and again until they leave
>Other Sup Forums users commend me for my effort to make America great again
>I'm what Trump envisioned people to be
>I'm complete
>But not really, because it's dinner time and I'm hungry
>Throw hotpockets and tendies together
>Culinary genius
>I could only be a better human being if I was whi- oh wait I am because I'm 1/64 Irish

>wake up
>WEED DUDE LMAO

haha

>wake up at 5.30 am on sunday to work 12 hours
>alarm clock with news
>another mass shooting in the region
>god bless murica
>tip alarm clock
>ride to your work at wallmart as cashier with your monster truck that burns 40 liter oil for mile
>work for 6 hours straight selling coca-cola, butter and military grade automatic rifles
>tip customers
>lunch break
>as you go through by road see 8 niggers gangbanging a white girl
>tip gangbangers
>see another nigger child with water gun
>shot him
>tip him
>finally arrive
>order 3 big macs, 6 quarter pounders, 12 freedom size fries and a diet coke.
>get shot by the nigger cashier
>praise 2nd amendment
>tip the cashier for his aim
>taken to hospital
>10000000$ bill
>thank dog no healthcare
>forget to tip
>hospital sues you
>go to court
>judge sentence you 30 years in jail
>forget to tip the judge
>additional 8 years for not tipping the judge
>GOD BLESS AMERICA

>wake up
>don't actually wake up because you drowned in your sleep

>wake up to the sound of the prayer calls from the mosque across the street
>smoke weed
>house floods
>trudge through the water in my wooden clogs
>stop and smell the tulips by the roadside
>vote for Geert Wilders
>get arrested for racism