Can you guys (or those of you that work in a developer job) greentext a typical day at work?

Can you guys (or those of you that work in a developer job) greentext a typical day at work?
I want to start a career as a developer but I want to get a better understanding of what is means in reality and what I can expect (ofc this isn't my only source here)

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>wake up
>get ready for work
>sit in traffic for an hour
>pay for parking
>walk to coffee shop
>caramel mocha
>walk to work
>greet the receptionist
>say hello to everyone
>put my lunch in the fridge
>sit down at desk
>get called in to meeting
>sitting in meeting for an hour
>eating appetizers the whole time
>get let out for lunch
>chicken sandwich
>go back to work after an hour
>sit at desk
>phone call
>have to meet with the boss
>talking for an hour
>get back to work
>sit at desk
>time to go home
>go home
>shitpost

literally no work ever gets done.

I think OP wanted replies from people who actually have a job.

>wake up
>drink coffee
>get ready for work
>cycle to work (hope it's not raining)
>arrive at 7:58 (we start at 8)
>wait outside until 8:20 until someone with the keys to the building arrives (really hope it's not raining)
>get inside
>drink coffee
>if monday, do """daily""" standup where we say what we're working on, how progress is, …
>zone out when anyone else speaks because it's fucking monday morning
>boot up my company-provided Macbook™ Pro™ by Apple™
>long for a Thinkpad running GNU/Linux instead, console myself with the fact that at least I don't have to run windows
>plug in headphones, open spotify, open emacs and forget the world around me
>dive into the lake of actual feces that is our PHP codebase
>assigned to fix some dumb bug or add a minor feature to an existing site
>the code is without exception awful, probably written by a summer intern from 3 years ago who worked here for 2 weeks
>spend more time untangling the 5-level-nested ternary ifs than adding features
>fixing the entire file would mean rewriting from scratch
>instead try to leave it in a state that won't make me want to take out my 1911 and swallow a bullet next time I open the file
>send a skype message to my boss telling them that the feature has been added
>he assigns me the next task
>lunch time
>eat sandwiches
>drink coffee
>ignore colleagues
>why don't programmers look like nerds any more and why are they talking about football all the time
>more coffee
>back to work
>occasionally ask my senior a question about the general structure of a project (which is without fail awful)
>he acknowledges it's awful but the light in his eyes has long since vanished and he says to roll with whatever we have
>talk to boss at the end of the day
>don't get promoted because I don't add features at a high enough pace
>cycle home (hope it's not raining)
>masturbate furiously

If I were you I'd say fuck it and act like your senior engineer, ignore all the garbage and do the minimal work necessary to get your task done, then grab that promotion

>wake up
>breakfast
>go to gym
>back home
>lunch
>afternoon nap
>go to office
>build quick ionic app to connect to BLE device
>show to boss
>boss is pleased
>it's evening time to go
>visit gf
>back home and shitpost on Sup Forums
>end

Its the wrong time to ask this question OP. People with a job are working now

it's the good life when you're not a wagecuck and can monetize your own projects

>wake up
>eat
>get a drink
>sit in front of the computer
>check some websites
>play BF1 for an hour or so
>work on my project
>have lunch
>play more BF1
>work on project some more
>have dinner
>play more BF1
>fap
>sleep

>wake up
>get ready
>too late for breakfast
>leave
>catch train
>no seat
>get coffee
>arrive at work
>stand up
>sit down
>code
>lunch
>code
>leave
>home
>dinner
>sleep
>repeat

Summary:
>doing the same shit over and over
>finally kill himself

Did you miss the part about masturbating furiously? I'm not gonna kill myself user

>Look at it this way. A man takes a job, you know? And that job - I mean, like that - That becomes what he is. You know, like - You do a thing and that's what you are. Like I've been a cabbie for thirteen years. Ten years at night. I still don't own my own cab. You know why? Because I don't want to. That must be what I want. To be on the night shift drivin' somebody else's cab. You understand? I mean, you become - You get a job, you become the job. One guy lives in Brooklyn. One guy lives in Sutton Place. You got a lawyer. Another guy's a doctor. Another guy dies. Another guy gets well. People are born, y'know? I envy you, your youth. Go on, get laid, get drunk. Do anything. You got no choice, anyway. I mean, we're all fucked. More or less, ya know.

This sounds like my old job. I might as well have been the guy that wrote those ternary ifs. I quit because it wasn't making me happy and I figured I could do better. Now I'm still an unemployed NEET and besides unhappy also poor.

Maybe I should start sending out my resume again, if I'm going to be depressed I might as well do it with a bit of spending money.

>I want to start a career as a developer
I'm so so sorry.

>Wake up
>Drive 10m to train station
>Train 80m to city station
>Walk 15m to work
>Make coffee
>Waste enough time until standup
>Waste enough time to lunch
>1hr lunch
>Do some actual "development" but really just bandaid a bunch of shitty solutions because it's due yesterday (It's always due yesterday or earlier).
>Reverse morning trip back to house
>Try to forget I hate everything
>Try to forget everything
>Try...

You live 105 meters from your work?

Don't you have a gf

youtube.com/watch?v=TF5gDTA9zGM

>wake up
>still not dead, maybe tomorrow I'll be luckier
>check monitoring dashboard to see if any servers are on fire
>run script that automatically updates them all
>waste time
>head to work
>hope autistic co worker isn't there so don't have to deal with desk pounding and open mouth chewing today
>get email about something broken
>spend 15 minutes fixing the problem and hours unravelling whatever mess the previous guy left the code base in
>"hey user, I heard you're actually writing tests for your code, can you help me out?"
>go over to their computer, watch as they struggle to use advanced commands such as "cd" or "ssh"
>go back and try to figure how to write a script to replace some menial portion of my job with
>get email about new security release
>try to apply patch, patch requires PHP 5.2.9 and this server is on PHP 5.2.6
>try to convince senior admin to update server
>"sorry user, don't want to upgrade it since all the other projects we've shoehorned onto this overwhelmed server might break"
>check release log, 5.2.9 was released in 2009
>pray for death
>go home
>study or game or whatever with what time I have left over

Damn that was helpful

OP here, thanks so far. Despite most of you picturing the job as living hell, I think it sounds great. I expected much worse.
Just a question: IF you are intelligent and talented (let's just assume I am, which ofc I don't know yet), can you climb the career ladder based on that?

you're better off starting your own company, unless you like to suck ass, and the person who is getting their ass sucked, also likes it that you are sucking their ass. But lets hope they actually let you finish sucking their ass.

Depends on how much of your principles you're willing to throw under the bus.

If your soul isn't broken and you keep gaining programming/related skills then you can just jump ship to another company and repeat until you find what you like best

You also have to be willing to frequently hop jobs and negotiate well in interviews.

>sitting in interview
>"wow user, you've had quite a few jobs over the years. Why is that? Something wrong? hmm?"

"I got headhunted with a better offer because I'm just that good"
Only works if you actually are any good, obviously.

Yeah, those companies sucked ass, and if you have a problem with me moving to a better position then I don't want to work for you anyway

Any forward thinking company isn't going to worry about this, so you probably don't want to work for those companies anyway. They're stuck in old mentalities and their business is probably in a similar state.

Driving for 10 meters and taking a train for 80 meters seems excessive.
Why don't you just walk, user ?

m = minutes

Mine is...

>wake up
>shower, teeth
>skip breakfast cause running late
>drive 10-25 minutes
>daily scrum at 9, say what we did yesterday (a joke really)
>sit at desk
>dive through garbage c#/c++ code
>trying to fix bug or add feature
>usually give myself more time than necessary
>end up finishing "fast", boss thinks I'm doing good
>meanwhile I'm sitting there for hours wondering how I got to this point in my life, and how I'm going to masturbate once I'm home.

This, absolutely. And don't forget the twice paycheck compared to the average.

Do you guys have a dresscode? I just wear a comfy sweater in the office.

wake up
meet with devs to see what theyre doing
spend half an hour organizing my notes
do scrum with client
qa posts a bug and everyone flips
have to explain why it's not a regression, but something we inheretted from the shitty poorly managed shared legacy database or before I was lead
CTO comes to me and forces us to grind to a halt while we fix this non-issue
asks for an explanation of what happened and I have to come up with an excuse because he was lead when the bug was made
spend 4 hours doing shadow dev to desparately work on the tools we need to recover
repeat the next day, explain on scrum why we didn't get done what we said we were the previous scrum

I could pretend that this would end after this bug release, but who would I be kidding? My life is bug releases now.

presumable "m" stands for minutes here

TFW no wife

Wake up at 6AM
Work out
Take the shuttle to work
Write code until noon
Have lunch
Write code until 6AM
Take the shuttle back home
Work out
Watch anime
Work on personal projects
Read a programming book
Surf the internet
Go to sleep at 11PM

And repeat it every day for the next 50 years. Good thing I will never have a gf or a family, so I can fully concentrate on my work.

how do you deal with being mentally paralyzed when you are working on new project and suddenly everything is covered by complete fogginess and uncertainty

>Work from home cos being a developer doesnt rely on being in an office
>Wake up late
>Get coffee
>Read emails
>List things to do for the day
>Browse interwebs for 90% of the day
>Do actual work few hours before day ends
>Write up report and notes on how day was spend, filled with fillers
>Go out, get drunk whatever the fuck you wany
>Sleep
>Repeat

writing good software more than a couple tens of thousands of lines relies on working with other developers unless if your company writes well established samey applications in factory form or just maintains software.

>wakeup
>getabrushandputalittlemakeup
>have a toss
>make coffee
>shower (am I the only one in the bread?)
>there's a fucking strike next door again
>walk 30min to work
>plow through php, too small a team to actually have anybody to train to use an actual language like common lithp
>contemplate sudoku
>lunch with boss
>make coffee
>some prototype demo or other over coffee
>continue ploughing through lamp
>class
>15min bus back home
>dinner over omegle and fap
>shitpost loudly
>dump log
>goto bed

Such is the case of the government-hired dev where I live. Fortunately I'm getting headhunted soon... by another government branch. At least they're offering almost double my current salary.

Why the fuck would you look for job that's further than 40 min from your home?
Without moving to other flat that is.

not the guy, but its a very, very common thing in my country. people often take 1h to go to work with public transport. nobody casually change when they get a new job, and the need for an income is way greater than the commodity of living near work

Ever changed jobs mid-contract when renting an apartment? Stuck with 3 hours and change commutes daily till June.

Dude what is this standup shit? Do you literally have to stand up in front of the office and say what you did yesterday? What the fuck is this common?

It's an agile/scrum/whatever kind of thing. You all stand around in a circle and give people a state of affairs. Yes it's kind of dumb.

yes it is

We used to have that with a client I worked with, thought it was pretty good since you could flag for issues and ask for input.

Was a 10 man team and took 5 minutes mostly. The key is not going into detail but giving a very short overview on what's going on.

Now scrum planning was a disaster and took a whole day when it could've been done in 3 hours.

can I just become an analyst and let the SE drones fiddle with their agile stuff

I wanted to kill myself during the compulsory software engineering courses I had

I'm in a full time stage. 3 months in.
>wake up
>get ready, 20 minutes workout, prepare luch to go
>luckily a 10 minute drive to work on a traffic free road
>check mails
>check what's still to do in the current sprint (custom scrum version)
>check-in from tfs (visual studio github equivalent) to be sure.
>clean, rebuild, run a few tests because I don't trust my senjor
>program stuff, run program, test
>find bug
>troubleshoot
>rollback
>still there
>check even older version
>was already there, nobody notices
>fix bug, don't know how to track the work done since the feature was considered "done" weeks ago
>coffe break, coworkers are nice. Normies, but nice.
>rinse and repeat or do some menial layout shit
>eat lunch while working
>use actual lunch break to take a 1h stroll in the woods adjacent to the building
>rinse and repeat till I've done 9/9.30 hours of work to make a good impression and hopefully be hired
>go fetch my grandma at the hospital and take her home
>go do some shopping
>back home
>dinner
>read a manga or watch a few youtube videos
>shitpost

Sometimes since I'm not a fully fledged worker "work" is doing some research or I'm given to study some argument that may come in handy and taken off programming duty, which can be nice but frustrating when you feel like you're going nowhere.

Now doing some shit with graph dbs (really fun) and some shit with xamarin forms (can be fun when you don't get stuck on bugs that 9/10 times are actually xamarin bigs and not my code's fault).

7/10 experience that becomes a 8.5/10 because of coworkers and the daily stroll in the woods.

wat

Depends on the company, depends on the country.
Some recognize talent/effort more than others. Some stick to ass licking and planned career advancements more.

Not him, but I guess it means the feeling of uncertainty and doubt about what to do and what tools to use when you are the boss of yourself and nobody tells you what you do.
Can be wondeful but to indecisive people (like I can be at times) can be really frightening and make you so anxious that it paralizes you.

where do you live?
did you go to college/uni?

>Wake up
>Make lunch and pack fruit
>Spend hour on bus
>Get to work
>Drink coffee turn on computer
>Open up ticket system and pick something to work on
>Put on hazmat suite
>Jump into our php code base
>Find part of code i need to edit
>Procrastinate on irc for an hour
>Fix issue/write feature
>Daily meeting, zone out
>Gag from smell of autistic coworkers
>Take lunch
>Procrastinate on reddit and irc
>Pick new ticket
>Repeat above
>Take 2 hours on irc
>Take 30min bathroom break
>Write fix
>Go home
>Shit post on Sup Forums

>get up, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, out the door
>drive to work, get in by 6
>open up Visual Studio
>go grab a cup of coffee while waiting for VS to load
>read emails to see if any trouble tickets were forwarded to me
>no tickets (there rarely are)
>scroll through code for 2 hours to make it look like I'm working
>get up to stretch my legs - take a walk to a local convenience store for snacks
>scroll through code for 3 hours to make it look like I'm working
>grab lunch
>scroll through code for 2 hours to make it look like I'm working
>read "Hot Network Questions" on Stackoverflow
>wonder why I'm reading questions about unruly toddlers
>close browser
>clock out, go home

Italy
Bachelor degree in "Information Engineering" which is where they threw all different stuff from automation to informatic to biomedical to electrical engineering.

Took 6 years instead of 3 because of depression. (Sorry for blogpost but I feel the 6 years instead of 3 can be relevant when it comes to job hunting)

>having to drive to work
damn they cucked you good
you can't just have X amount of shit you have to get done every week?

what about automated systems engineer who sometimes does some code for the robots?

would you say that a degree is mandatory for a job like yours or could you do it with a completed vocational training too?

Also, just an addition:
I enjoy programming. I really do. I hate that I do nothing all day.
But when you work for a government contractor, everything gets done at the speed of government - meaning you sit and wait with nothing to do for weeks or even months at a time.

We asked for a paid software package and we're waiting for the government to authorize the expenditure before we can ship our new product to them.
We asked for funding for the library almost 6 months ago.

The software (written entirely by me, since we're a small team) has been done for a while. I think my last commit was like 2 months ago.

>arrive at work at 8:55, check/answer emails
>stand-up meeting at 9:00 with team members, talk about whats to be done that day
>work til 11:00(varies) because I'm a morning guy and fast
>pretend to be working for the rest of the day

The latter.
About 5 of my senjors got in throug vocational training and one just got promoted to architect after just 3 years because of his efforts.
(efforts = when he goes back home he studies work related stuff 3 more hours, every day)
The guy managing me, also an architect, couple years older than me, dropped from college and went to work immediately, now he's in a pretty sweet position.
Also big worker when at home.
Younger senjor, part time worker, is at the same time finishing my same degree.
So no degree needed.

Yet, another similar company asked for a degree and a graduation mark of least 105/110 just to have an interview.
Depends on the company.

>wake up
>turn on laptop
>connect to VPN
>git submodule foreach git pull
>fuck around for 2 hours
>CMake -> configure -> generate
>start VS -> build solution
>fuck around for 5 hours
>run tests
>realize its fucked, but keep fixing it anyway
>scream incessantly at compiler nit-pickery
>eat dinner
>fall asleep angry and paranoid

Thanks a lot. I've been stuying at university for quite some time (bs liberal arts degree that I want to quit, pls no bully) and I much rather start working immediately instead of studying another couple years.

np
Also I'm sorry but I'm gonna leave the thread.
Good night.

>Go to work
>Boss acts like a faggot
>Rage quit

>arrive a fashionable 5-10 minutes late, not so late that much can be said about it
>put lunch in fridge get water
>boot pc and slowly eat some breakfast while browsing the internet, checking email, and git pull
>if feeling unsociable stick headphones on and start some music
>do some work
>usually have a longer-form bit of work to do that I can be getting on with, mixed with dealing with queries from admin staff and any tasks that come off the back of that
>don't actually speak to any clients or their customers but sometimes there might be bugs found or changes needed asap that I drop other stuff for
>break the morning up by snacking on some fruit and browsing the internet c'mon bro i can't eat and work at the same time
>maybe chat to people
>lunch. make sure I take the full hour might read or something
>afternoons are usually less productive than the mornings for me unless there is a rush on for something
>typically I'll sporadically work and mix in some browsing

generally I'm left to it, and work with the project managers (non-technical) and the admin staff and agree some stuff. For larger/more complex requirements usually my manager sits in on discussions or is made aware of it. He'll then back me up and say it will take x days/weeks for what you're asking as well as talking it through with me as we agree on a loose general plan that I then design the specifics of and implement.

Also you asked about progression. This is my first dev job and I now have 18 months exp. Bossman says I'm as good a dev as the colleagues with 6&10 yrs exp. I think I can expect a pay increase towards the end of this year to bring me more in line with them. I definitely get given tasks indiscriminately or even got some harder tasks because "it's complicated and would melt their brains" So yes, can progress quickly if you're smart.

this is actually THE worst case scenario

also pathetic

>have to code some fizzbuzz thing to get the job
>never actually program shit
Is this real?

>wake up at 8
>get ready for work
>arrive at 10
>check mails
>review code my teammates pushed the day before
>its usually shit, reject half of them, merge the rest
>go to meetings
>customer demands xyz things
>start planning with colleagues
>lunch
>finally some time to get to coding
>juniors banging on my desk "i finished my task, give me a new one NOW"
>"did you write tests?"
>"yes, i did"
>"no, you didnt write enough, go write 10 more. also refactor"
>continue coding
>get tired around 3pm, go to gym
>return around 5pm
>do all my actual work between 5pm and 6pm
>go home

>drive to work (5 min)
>show up whenever I want
>walk into my office I share with fellow programmer
>readjust my meme standing desk
>work on assigned projects or assignments for majority of the day
>hour for lunch (hour and a half if I decide to nap)
>periodically go to lunch room for free food (beer) and banter
>leave early usually
>finish up any interesting assignments at home

suicide

how long would I have to learn a language before I can remotely work? I can't dev yet