I see a lot of vermin trying to immigrate to America. People who can barely speak a word of English, people with bland, useless degrees from Islamic Azad University (Google it, just knowing that this place exists is a giant blow to science and academics) and generally, illiterate, religious, daughter-killing, wife-beating Muslims with nothing to offer to their host nation.
How to I overcome the adversity of belonging to this group? Obviously, I can't stay in Iran. It's not just the government, people are retarded too. Just the other day someone called my cellphone and called me "Chubak Bidpaa" (which isn't my real name, thank God) and told me to "stop posting terrible stuff about Iran on Sup Forums, how dare you live in Islamic Republic of Iran and speak ill of it?") My patience is running out, and I KNOW that I'm head and shoulders above the average Iranian immigration applicant. Not only I've already integrated to living in United States without actually being there, I want to strike some massive blows to undesirable aspects of the country i.e. reform the immigration system, help REAL immigrants with American spirit get in, and all that junk. I want to be Ahnold, not your average sanding who lives in Brooklyn.
But the question is, how the hell am I going to achieve this? I have nothing in my arsenal. Not even money to go to Turkey. How am I going to convince immigration officers that I'm different? That I'm going to be a small, but positive part of the American society? That I'm not going to be an "Iranian immigrant" but an "expatriate"?
Edwina Rogers, CEO [email protected] (202) 430-1888 work (202) 674-7800 mobile
Luke Evans
Thanks. Can you please help me draft a good email to send them? What do they want to hear? I reckon that they are pretty liberal so they don't want to hear my theories on blowing up the entire Islamic World. This is my Kryptonite, no matter how sublime I can be regarding American sensitivities, they don't like me hating people whom they hate.
Adam Watson
Looks like they want people whose lives are in danger or people who will dedicate themselves to helping others in a similar situation.
>Whose lives are in danger, and thus whose situations are newsworthy, and
>who give us permission to leverage their life stories for media attention,
>Who have the energy and desire to further the secular movement,
>Whose local knowledge will help us with outreach into their home region. Who have the cultural knowledge and drive to become the central leaders in helping other refugees escape to the West.
Hunter Taylor
i'm with you bro, im sure you'll tell em!
Andrew Anderson
That's great because my life story can be turned into a small book. It's not noticeable but well that's all the misery I have right now.I was expelled from school for insulting Islam and my dad who was Muslim used to beat up my mom vigorously. I have so many experiences regarding Islam and how horrendous it is. I really want to be active in their organization. I will go as far as knocking door to door and asking people for donation. I will post my draft shortly and I hope you guys can help me improve it.
Nathaniel Price
dude i see you're dead serious about this, but asking help on Sup Forums i mean cmon dude...Sup Forums? full of keyboardnazis and summerfags trolling around?
Lincoln Cooper
>chubak wow I've been on Sup Forums for too long
Chase Adams
Post it and send it here too if you can: [email protected] might not get to it until next week (busy normie with busy career) but I'll try to help.
Nathan Bailey
Why are you worried? As a none Muslim in Iran you could easily get help leaving.
I work in immigration customer support and I know what you mean. It disgusts me. 75%< of my client are retarded Muslims named Muhammad with useless degrees and can't speak English. They have no common sense and are rude and stupid. Literally maybe 2% of my client are actual Europeans and most of those are Romanians and Ukrainians. The west is dead at this rate.
Adrian Thomas
Alright. But I want to send it fast so please respond to it earlier. Thanks.
I'm not sure. I don't have a bachelor's degree because I want to get it in the US (or Europe, doesn't matter) and that could set me back a long yard. I completely understand why immigration officers are tired of such applicants. They just don't understand that they are not desired.
Anyways, can you help me come to Israel? I know asking someone to help you immigrate on Sup Forums is a long shot... but well what the hell.
Luke Anderson
>help REAL immigrants with American spirit get in WE'RE FUCKING FULL REEEEE
Christian Lewis
Us standards are very low. You don't need education or English. All you need is to be from a country that send less then 50,000 immigrants to them a year. So Iran does qualify and you could try applying for a green card lottery.
Tbh I probably can get you to Israel but it's a bit of a risk for me. Some gay Israeli brought his boy friend from Iran over here so there's ways to do it. If you're willing to pay I'd be able to hook you up with some Russians that could help, they do this to get Russians in Israel who aren't Jews all the time.
Camden Perry
I'd love to live in Israel and it's actually better for me than the US since due to our mutual hatred of Muslims I can always hang out with Israelis and not even touch those pesky Arabs but I want a legal way to get in i.e. Israeli residency. I couldn't care less about the political turmoil or the Dome. In fact I'll be happy to help Israel invade Iran. If you can help me get in legally, I will definitely pay you and I'll be in your debt forever.
Adam Torres
Well define legal my friend. There's a few ways to go about this.
1. Marry a Jew. You pay Russians, they give you a Jew to "marry". Then you can legally come here and get a divorce 2. Find a rabbi that'll take money to say you converted to Judaism or actual convert. 3. This one is risky for you but you could have an extremely bright career in Mossad. Find a way to contact them that will be hidden from your government. Tell them your situation and that you'd be willing to work for them. Sometimes they need Farsi speakers to listen in to recordings from Iran or could use the PR as leverage over Iran. Possible they'll help but this on I'm not sure how to go about.
Wish I could help you more but my only connections are sketchy Russians then could find you a Jew to marry for some money. None Muslims in Muslims cunts who hate the culture are my soft spot man. Try looking up how to get asylum here. Some gay Iranian poet did that and lives here now so it's possible.
Andrew Young
Thanks for your help. Helping Mossad isn't that bad of an idea but I don't want to do it unless I'm a legal Israel resident. Why doesn't Israel have an immigration system for gentiles in place? "Country for Jews" was a fine idea in the 60s, right now you need all the help you can get.
Carter Bell
Bump. Best of luck to you OP
Jordan Gutierrez
We actually do. I work with many who aren't Jewish and we have refugees here as well from African, Christians from Lebanon and the territories and Thais and flips too. I'm just not sure how to go about it. We just can't take the risk due to all the Muslims who would try to take advantage and get in to take us down. If you want it legally then the best way is apply for asylum, talk to your Jewish community in Iran about converting even if only on paper, or try to get in through some work program or the Mossad idea. Sorry I can't help more but I work for a US immigration company so weirdly I know their laws better then my own. Also try finding out about this student program Israel has where people from Muslim countries all over the world can get a student visa here (after a lengthy interview process) I saw a story about it once but can't remember the name but there's some school started here to brig Muslims who are approved here to study to see the real Israel as a way of fighting Islamic propaganda against Israel. They have plenty of Iranian students. Those are all the options I know, look into it and see what works. Good luck man.
I tried hard not to come off as a dick, and I failed to do so. Please help me revise it. Thanks.
Kayden Wilson
A few things for you. First, it seems like the organization wants you to sound like you'll be in danger if you don't get asylum. So ham up the "i'm in danger" part of it.
Second off, "I want to strike a blow to the place that's kind enough to take me in." This makes no sense in English. It makes it sound like you want to bomb whoever grants you asylum.
I would mention that you are happy to tell your story in public media.
Good luck bud :)
Ayden Morales
Oh yes that sentence made no sense to me either. I'm going to revise that a few times.
How do you reckon I twist the "danger" part. Of course I'm in potential danger but I'm far from being in immediate danger.
Hunter Watson
Which organization is that exactly? My only advice is to take out the insults about others students and spin it more as a matter of persecution due to faith. High light more the fact that you're a liberal atheist and fear for your life. Basically make the main focus point that you can't live in an Islamic place and you were discriminated in school for your western and atheist views and would like to attend a university in the west where you can further your education and provide for your new country. Avoid insulting the populace and things about wanting to spread atheism and focus more on government persecution. Also I wouldn't mention the Reddit thing.
Asher Bailey
There's a couple grammatical errors there - particularly "englist literature" and "aligarchy"
Calling it "Missionary work" is going to come off badly to an atheist organization. Call it "Awareness Campaigning". You write like someone who goes on reddit a lot though, no offense. I've rewritten that paragraph for you.
1. I know that atheism doesn't proselytize but I feel that I could assist your organization with any ground work undertaken . Too many people in the west are afraid of being called prejudice for confronting islam and the worst excesses of Middle Eastern Culture. I do believe that we need to raise awareness of what is happening in my home country and in the wider islamic world. The fact that stoning your daughter is wrong is need to be spread. The fact that everyone, man or woman, is equal, is need to be taught to all. There are some real ground work that needs to be done. I speak Persian, as you can already imagine, and although we can't send people to Iran, we can try with Afghanistan. Even if sending people directly is impossible, I would be happy to help with translating and creating materials for disbursement to Afghanistan and elsewhere.
Luis Robinson
Notes taken.
I haven't proof-read it yet.
You're right. I have to work on it. Thanks for revising the paragraph, I like it and I replaced it with yours.
Charles Cruz
That revised paragraph reminded me a few points that I must have mentioned, such as silence of West towards Islam. If you can think of anything that is need to be done, please say so. And be sure that if I make it to America I swear to fucking God I will obliterate Islam once and for all.
Asher Cooper
Iran has apostasy laws, no?
Just say that you are somewhat vocal about your atheism and you are beginning to worry that public authorities will catch you and like, execute or flog you or whatever they would do.
Owen Watson
You will like the Iranian diaspora in the US. A lot of them have pretty similar opinions of Islam.
Liam Ward
Yes, the punishment for apostasy is death and I'm vocal about my beliefs. I just called a few religious people in front of a mosque dirty. I guess I have to plea to them since I'm not really being chased by the authorities, but my actions are far from cautious.
Are they treated well?
Gavin Carter
So here's how I plea to them that my life is in danger. How does that sound?
To further expand on my beliefs which are completely at odds with that of an
average Iranian, and Iranian the Iranian penal code as well (in Iran, punishment for apostasy is execution by hanging), I'm an atheist, liberal and free-thinking. I am against
theocracy, misogyny, radicalism, fundamentalism, state-ran media, oligarchy and basically everything that embodies the modern Iranian politics and culture. It's awful here and I hope with the help of your program, I can escape the woeful faith that awaits the likes of me. I'm far from cautious regarding my stance on religion, and this has affected my life more than once. I was expelled from school once and I have to fake mental illness in order for them to let me be. Not only do I resent Iranian politics, I am not a fan of Iranian society either. I've tried hard to fit in, and I've failed.
Luis Butler
couldn't you just turn into a cheetaah? Or was it a leopard?
Nicholas Gutierrez
>Are they treated well? yep, respected cosmopolitan minority in San Francisco at least.
Anthony Adams
Fuck. Here we go again:
To further expand on my beliefs which are completely at odds with that of an
average Iranian, and the Iranian penal code as well (in Iran, punishment for apostasy is execution by hanging), I'm an atheist, liberal and free-thinking. I am against theocracy, misogyny, radicalism, fundamentalism, state-ran media, oligarchy and basically everything that embodies the modern Iranian politics and culture. It's awful here and I hope with the help of your program, I can escape the woeful faith that awaits the likes of me. I'm far from cautious regarding my stance on religion, and this has affected my life more than once. I was expelled from school once and I have to fake mental illness in order for them to let me be. Not only do I resent Iranian politics, I am not a fan of Iranian society either. I've tried hard to fit in, and I've failed.
Camden Morales
I doubt that, besides a minority of Iranians who live in California, they rest of them garner any respect. What's funny is that almost all of them are there because they've hit the jackpot on Green Card Lottery. It's almost a business here. People barely speak English so people who can at least understand enough to apply for them charge them hundreds of dollars for an otherwise free service. This is ridiculous. The rest of Iranians who are present in the United States are international students. That's a nasty business as well. I, for the life of me, cannot understand how American schools keep accepting Iranian students. Of course there's a few prestigious schools in Iran but that's actually TWO, and neither of them are in top 500 even. Is there a quota to fill or something or do they get their kicks by hurting their reputation?
Nathaniel Williams
>There's people in this thread unironically falling for the Chubek meme's..
Haha
Cameron Morgan
I'm one of those people charging to fill their application since most are too retarded. We actually had a Syrian send in a picture for his application photo that was him with two ak's pointed in the air with a bullet proof vest on smiling.
Anyway yeah there's a quota. America has this retarded law called diversity immigration program where they accept people from countries that they don't have more then 50,000 immigrants a year from for the last 5 years. Then certain countries who don't qualify go to Canada, those are India, Pakistan, Nigeria, and china. The thing is Canada required English test, career that in need, education and work experience in the previous year to go. Us just required "diversity", aka just Muslims and Muslims Africans.
Eli Bailey
I'm serious dude. I know I've caused a ruckus before but that was just me venting.
Connor Moore
Fucking Chubek
How'd that Hollywood hit go by the way? Oh wait it was a fucking catastrophe KEK
Cooper Jones
Why does this retard want to get executed so badly? Just shut the fuck up and keep your head down until you're able to leave, instead of being such a fedora fucktard.
Oliver Reyes
I would have believed you weren't a proxy if you didn't mention that phone bit
Jonathan Collins
How the fuck am I able to leave? I don't know if you've realized this by now but immigrating to your countries whilst keeping your head high is more difficult that fucking a needle in a haystack. It's really hard. Despite all my efforts I may never be able to leave.
I've already blocked your number. If you text me, call me, or do anything that forces me to converse with you I will rape you. Understand you dirty piece of shit? Also, nice touch on that "come buy acid from me, I'm totally legit xd" bit. As if I'm showing my face to a retarded Muslim like you.
Cameron King
>come buy acid from me I'm totally legit
Aaron Ross
Well, you better start making peace with that eventuality then. Going around being obnoxious and vocal about your "beliefs" isn't going to get you anywhere, apart from 6ft underground.
Ian Hill
I'd rather die a free man than to live in an Islamic country.
Jaxon Cruz
>Dying for your beliefs >Literally being a martyr Do you seriously not see any parallels here? At least they actually believe in something, you're just being a nihilistic rebel.
Justin Thompson
I'm confused, are Muslims trying to trick you into meeting them to kill you or is someone just trolling you? And how do they have your number?
Christopher Cooper
That idiot has posted his number and Skype before. He even posted his ex's Facebook so we could send her a vocaroo of him crying like a little bitch
Lincoln Phillips
Probably because he's been consistently doxxing himself since at least mid-2014, with pictures and personal details.
Landon Hall
I posted my YouTube channel on here and in it, there was a video with my number on it. A huge Islamic Republic loving Muslim who roams Sup Forums using American proxy found it, and called me to tell me that he's a member of Basij and he's coming to kill me. When I hung up on him he texted me saying that he sells "acid and LSD" and I should go buy it from him. He doesn't even know my real name, or that which city I'm from. He can't even trace my phone, if he could, since the number belongs to somebody else. He's a complete retard. I admit that he's probably trolling but there's a large chance that he's legitimately trying to kill me.
Michael Martinez
who the hell do you think I am
I don't understand how somebody could find your number just by you posting here, unless it was like, an ISP employee acting alone? If it was government that called you wouldn't they do something like send people to your house instead?
Leo Ross
>A huge Islamic Republic loving Muslim who roams Sup Forums
Jeremiah Bell
Sorry. I mistook you for the culprit.
He's not a government employee, he's just a basement dwelling Muslim who's tried numerous times to doxx me and has failed. No information I give out online is actually traceable.
Juan Hill
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
and stay in your own fucking countyr you fucking sandnigger
Jordan Rivera
Hatman yek kooni hastee
Dominic Wright
i live with an iranian and all the ones i've met are all secular god-hating and self loathing people
Connor Hall
How did he get there? Iranians have earned self-loathing. Living in a country where alcohol is illegal, premarital sex is illegal, music is illegal etc whilst nothing has been done about it makes you hate yourself. I don't like living my home country but I'm forced by simply being born in the wrong time and the wrong place.
John Gutierrez
his family fled shortly after the revolution he's a miserable piece of shit even in this country
Man, it sucks you have to live like that, I'm gonna commit suicide and people like you want to get into this life
Nathan Gomez
Show them your Arab hate threads you made a few years ago, chubek
Chase Moore
It's not a ruse but I doubt he could actually help you he's a very popular youtuber iranian who got to canada and makes videos about hobbyist electrical engineering en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehdi_Sadaghdar even has his own wikipedia page sort of electroboom.com/ and website
Connor Morgan
You should marry him and give him a green card before you end it
Ian Gray
Okay chubak
Zachary Taylor
>Emperor Chubek the First, the glorious Shah, ruler of shade and light, winter and summer, that who goshawk and sparrow live with peace under his reign and the supreme race of Aryan people dwell free within his kingdom.
>I deem myself to be a very intellectual, humanist person. For that reason said, I pretty much prefer companionship of those who appreciate my view. However, if you're a female human with attractive physical features, you're welcome to my elite.
>NOTE: no uggos, tubbies, huskies, cutters, beliebers, Jews and Arabs. If you are one of these things just turn away. I don't want my day to be ruined by a fat Arab Jew who listens to Disney Records.
>I am a polymath. I am, as people people of the ancient world had put it, logos. Therefore I do not take refuge in earthly vices. My profession is movies. Directing, writing, CGI, etc. Here's a couple of my CGI compositions.
>I also code. I spent my pubescence mastering C#, Python and also markup languages. Don't come near me if you code in Java.
>Well since movies are my business, I tend not to enjoy them anymore. I love Rifftrax and MST3K, and I occasionally watch Hollywood movies. But my stash is mostly comprised of Nouvella-vague and Iranian neo-noir.
Holy fucking kek
Owen Sanders
Holy fucking fedora, batman!
Gavin Parker
Don't commit suicide. Visit Iran, preferably without a female companion. Stay here just a few days. Just watch people pass by and see how desperate they are to breathe. Not all of them have my luxuries. I'm not wealthy and I'm probably going to suffer a lot in my first years in the US or any Western country I get into but just knowing that there might be a person like me out there who can't speak English, is unable to appease to Western sensibilities and thus unable to immigrate (at least without integration) makes me want to vomit inside my mouth. It's pure, unadulterated suffocation. I've read a lot of stories about people who've immigrated, and failed miserably. Most of them didn't know the language. Most of them didn't know how to function in a Western country. They got a boner every time they saw a woman without hijab. They got alcohol poisoning from drinking too much. They didn't know what food is "hallal" so they had to induce vomiting every time they ate something "haraam". It's really, really hard to immigrate and most of the countries in the modern world suck. You see those Syrian refugees and you assume they have the world given to them. Guess what, that's not what the word "refugee" means. I'm basically seeking asylum and it's a form of refuge. I'm not your regular Mohammad fucker but believe me if I could stay, I would.
Colton Garcia
Is this OP ?
Justin Gray
It is but I look a lot better in real life.
Jack Lopez
Yes, yes it is. Everything about him is a meme. He's literally a walking meme. He might even post a stream of himself an heroing in the near future.
Jason Perez
>I am white and superior! Not like those fellow Arabs, Pajeets and my own fellow Iranians
Holy shit. This is actually pretty disturbing. Is there some kind of Shura council in Iran we can contact so he can be "helped"?
Alexander Cox
Seriously, if there are any Basij/IGRC members browsing int we need to get this guy into a hospital asap
Camden Nelson
It's too late, he's killed the brain cells in his head that counteract autism with his years of drug abuse
Colton Moore
I don't care about how I look. I've grown up and so should you.
Aaron Howard
youtube.com/watch?v=jklt4zXar8s what's this one all about I'm in a situation where I don't have sound, what are they saying, is it english? are those kids his siblings? So many mysteries.
Levi Thompson
We full. Go away
Liam Gray
This is the most autistic thread I've read this year.
Liam Ross
It's in farsi but all I can tell are his brothers are called mas3oud and Hussein
Easton Allen
How do you say "cringe" in farsi?
Sebastian Jones
Why do you hate him so much? He's obviously weird but why try to fuck him up
Isaiah Cook
Bro you can mistreat me all you want I don't care. Even if some autistic American follows me with an AK it'll be better than life in Iran.
Austin Anderson
They don't actually hate me. It's a meme. You see no matter how much you try to appease to Western sentiments "some" people whom I'm not going to label are going to hate you and Sup Forums is full of them.
Noah Jones
good old chubak, never change my friend
hows going with the dank whitey
Jayden Bell
i fucking love this board sometimes.
Carson Thomas
>weird Have you not been following his threads/monologues? Did you not watch the videos? He's clearly got serious mental issues. I'd definitely deem him as a threat to himself and those around him.
Aiden Watson
>We actually had a Syrian send in a picture for his application photo that was him with two ak's pointed in the air with a bullet proof vest on smiling. >FUCKING KEK
Mason Garcia
> "Chubak Bidpaa" (which isn't my real name, thank God) and told me to "stop posting terrible stuff about Iran on Sup Forums, how dare you live in Islamic Republic of Iran and speak ill of it?")
Wtf how would they know this.
Shit man you're going to get murdered
Brayden Martinez
Chubek can I ask you a question?
Why is Iranian colloquial Farsi so fucking gay? Why do you speak like women?
Jace Bell
I doubt that their operations on Sup Forums of all places is that expansive. However I'm literally asking to get into trouble so I can be legitimately in danger instead of "potentially" in danger. I don't understand how all these gays escape Iran. How the fuck are they going to know that you're gay, and you're in danger? If fucking a guy is what it takes to escape Iran I will gladly do a double down.
Fun story some guy in TV said this "One guy in Europe told me that 'you Iranians speak very happily like'" kek.
Hunter Anderson
I started this thread in total support and now I feel he's totally retarded. What a journey. Really great thread
Oliver Roberts
Yeah, I know right I have no clue how I hadn't heard of him before I mean, now recalling it I do remember him vaguely from some posts but I guess I never paid too much attention
Dominic Thompson
He shitposts the same shit every couple of months, I took a 2 year break from Sup Forums and only came back recently, and he's still here. Posting the same shit. Why hasn't he been dealt with yet? Get it together, Iran.
Oliver Miller
Does anyone remember Chubeks tripcode? I want to find the thread where he was crying like a bitch on vocaroo because he let his drug addiction ruin his life
Zachary Stewart
It's true. Like for fuck sakes, just say دیگه. You don't have to be so gay about it with the feminine accent.
