/brit/

hold the door edition

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planning out a wank

Lobsters are good pets

Hold...the...door
Get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur

considering suicide

I'm having a barbecue later today lads, It's stressful because everyone is being flaky.

I'll get drunk no matter what happens 2bh so I don't care.

The cat at my dads place is so cute, he comes over and sits on your lap, and when you start stroking him, he rolls over like a dog so you can rub his belly. It's weird, cats usally hate that and will scratch you if you touch their belly. He's a right lad.

We cans see your flag.

oh shit. Fixed?

Threadly reminder that if you're not white you will never be British no matter what you do

?

Jamming at INCREDIBLE hihg speed
youtube.com/watch?v=PF_k6mIw9w0

made a cheeky chicken, sweet potato, carrot, onion and garlic soup combo lads

> mfw everything tasted perfect

In hindsight, the period of time when I sold and used heroin was the best part of my life. Had cool cars, had guns, dated a model who lived with me so I got laid all the time, etc.

Now I'm trying to do things right with a real job and it's just getting worse and worse. Why the fuck would people live like this?

Make public statements about Putin's inability to lead and how he's leading Russia down a dark, non-democratic path and how he rigged the last election

You won't even need to bother with your suicide

Russians are always suicidal.

why did you feel the need to share this with us

I don't know, Polonium seems like a shite way to die.

Tacitus describes the original Celtic British as being black. Checkmate shitlord.

Because there is less risk of death/jail?

send us some heroin lad

ah i see

Yeah. Public services always take too long.

FUCK I JUST DROPPED A BOGGER IN MY SOUP GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

As if it was any lessinteresting than

>Having a wank
>Doing a poo
>Eating some crisps
>Tfw no gf

Get over yourself, shithouse cunt.

It's ok. I'm sure that cat is a right lad.

I feed my boogers to the dog

also 6/10 story but it needed more buildup

debatable 2bh. I knew everybody and nobody had an issue with me doing what I do. Already been injured at this job and I work ALL THE FUCKING TIME to make way less money than I already did. Miserable 2bh, gonna have to make moves and build something better for myself one way or another.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

If you want excitement, but don't want the risky illegality of a career in drugs; why not get an exciting legal career instead?

Like bodyguard, or PI, or... fuck, I don't know, diamond mine operator in the DR Congo. The world's your oyster man

He is 2bh, he's killed two mice since I arrived here today. Absolute madman.

Why don't you sell drugs and work. That's what the real pros do, need a cover for your money.

You could even work in 'Spoons if you're tough enough

ANTI-YANK RANGER ACTIVATE

shut the fuck up about the cat man those bastards run out into the road under the wheels of cars so fast it's not even funny

still no thailad?

caught one trying to sneak under the fence sir
right here

Why did you reply to me? I'm British. Also pathetic gook nonce your parents hate you

I think you may have post-cat splat PTSD

need to be up at half 6
could do with a power nap but I'm afraid of sleeping in

are you some sort of spastic?

>110+ hours this pay period
It is an idea though. Everybody I work with sells something. Just gonna have to tough out being exhausted all the time.

Really miss rolling out with my boy and a couple guns and coming home to a qt with bank in my pocket a few hours later. Don't miss broke ass fiends though, fucking liabilities. Stay sick bitches.

YANKS LEAVE BY ORDER OF THE QUEEN NO YANKS ALLOWED

I'll have you know I'm 3/10ths Australian

*shoots you dead*

I sold weed for years, it was amazing how quickly my social circle disspiated when I stopped. They're not real friends desu

Remember~!
Seppos deserve to hang like the traitorous bastards they are~

no i just hit a cat before and i got out of my car and its brains were all out but the body was still fucking twitching and it scarred me for life

*hangs you in the gallows*

Bruce you need to relax.

might have a very cheeky glass of Cointreau before work lads

My boy is still around, we go back further than that. He'd be a fiend if he didn't know how to hustle for himself though.

The gf didn't fuck with the train, she just liked the dope dick going on for hours. Best way to get it in 2bh

But that shit also kills people left and right so theres that to consider as well.

>'s "9mm" CRITS for 19 damage.
> has been slain by !
>'s "POST-DEATH SPIDER ATTACK" poisons !
> cannot afford medical attention!
> has died.

So now you hate all cats and spack out when people talk about them?

>so user, do you want to come over to my place latter and listen to some Paradise Lost?

w-why aren't you leaving? The queen told you too!

only if i can cum on your face desu

*ignores your post*

Just like you ignored your medical insurance.

love looking at the sun rise tbf family

Anyone else noticed that girls named Hannah are always cute but in a very wholesome way?

That's not a sun rise, that's the tail end of a missile heading towards Palestine

fuck off JEW

>tfw it's almost midnight
How are things over there?

Does anything even grow in Israel? Apart from seething national hatreds

Anyone else noticed that girls named Akarin are always cute but in a very wholesome way?

Israel is green as fuck

The gf

I know, Hamas just won't fuck off

Going to quit drinking lads

im going now bye

WE

Revoke your citizenship and report to the mandatory castration toilet, where your service will be administered by a black widow

I tried doing that several times
Kept failing so i just gave in

Yep

my gf > your gf
youtube.com/watch?v=z32X0-4QjKs

Don't kill yourself mate

> she will never cook you a nice warm dinner then cuddle

...

Gonna start drinking (for tonight)

i just have to go out for now

how big is thailad's willy do you reckon

Stop posting blank images

THAILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

>you will never grope her

>Russia
What's the difference?

looks like we have the early morning nonce guild

Go back to rebbit
We have a global anime culture

off to work lads at a job i fucking hate with all my passionate disgust

take care of the place will you?

*gets rid of the yanks*

Ahh yes much better now

*shits all over the shop*

interesting fact: if you drive at high speeds around middle class english suburbs, you'll probably kill a few cats every single night

לך חפש מי ינענע אותך 卐

why don't you quit?

i plan to once i find a new job la

If I'm ever homeless and living out of my car I'll bear that in mind ty

bit of a racist post here lads, be careful around it

I am informing Scotland Yard of this as we speak

thailad how big is your fucking willy

Good man.

any weebs in Brisbane want to meet up?

Ready for the bike ride user?

just try and keep up ok