>want to squeeze some juice >juicer requires non-free bags of juice >tfw the botnet wants me to die of thirst
>A food tech startup that has raised $118 million in venture capital — including from some of the most prominent investors in Silicon Valley — is facing questions over its flagship gadget.
>Juicero charges $400 for a machine that presses juice from its proprietary juice bags and that requires a smartphone app. The problem? Users may be able to squeeze the bags for free using their own bare hands.
>But an individual close to the company told Bloomberg that Juicero is aware packs can be hand squeezed. The startup believes consumers prefer to use the machine, which makes the juice quality more consistent and requires less clean-up. The packs also include a QR code that allows the machine to track how much juice a consumer is making and which recipes they use most frequently.
This shit must be satire tell me it's satire FFS i want to nuke this company
Christian Young
There is just so much wrong with this.
Congratulations on getting capital for such a stupid idea though.
Jose Diaz
Can anyone find more of a teardown than just this picture?
Asher Howard
juice quality is gonna be so consistent lads
Lucas Gomez
$118M for this? People are beyond saving. There are probably a lot more shitty startup products which people will support for some reason. Ohh it has blinky lights and app, I better buy this.
Also that background music. For some reason every "technology" video uses that shitty xylophone background song.
Logan Hughes
>For some reason cause apple did it
Logan Powell
How could anyone possibly think any of this is a good idea?
>your juicer must be connected to the internet to make* juice! >*by make we mean squish a bag, this retarded machine requires set up and internet connectivity to squish a fucking bag
Liam Harris
Has science gone too far?
Matthew Johnson
Ask (((Doug)))
Colton Williams
who's the fucking target consumer for this shit, vegan who wants to 10 layers of packaging for a fucking glass of cold vegetable soup?
Daniel Cook
Knew it.
Caleb Robinson
Casey Neistat
David Evans
>implying it refrigerates the liquid coming out.
Nathaniel White
hey :3
Jonathan Edwards
u think he's jewish, huh?
Gabriel Moore
Jesus christ how horifying. What kind of retard buys thus shit.
Luke Young
god his voice is so damn condescending like hes out of a movie
Kevin Davis
>has raised $118 million >for this Sometimes I wonder why I am so poor. Maybe I should throw my integrity away and become a hipster in the SV. Imma disrupt the standing desk market just watch.
Ian Baker
>integrity yep, that's reason why you aren't raking in the jew gold.
>The first closed loop food safety system that allows us to remotely disable Produce Packs if there is, for example, a spinach recall. In these scenarios, we’re able to protect our consumers in real-time.
>tfw juicero shuts down your juicer remotely because they find out you've been stealing juice by squeezing the bags by hand
Nolan Butler
Tfw you pirate juice and the juicer rats on you to the juice police
Lucas Rivera
>raised $118 million in venture capital When does the bubble burst?
Wyatt Rogers
Video?
William Wilson
they aren't selling the squeezer. they are selling you the right to purchase their juice brand.
i know it's retarded, but that's how the free market works. as long as retards throw money at you, it doesn't matter.
Brody Roberts
i gues this shit is targeted to yuppies and hippies. for that market, this shit produces a lot garbage
i thought treehuggers were against it.
anyway, this product... i'm open mouthed how anyone would think this is worth anything
Leo Torres
More like Jewcero am I right
Matthew Moore
How are bags non free fag? What preventing to modify and reuse it?
Carson Wood
>i realize this if basically keurig and their shitty pods
Easton Price
why are those bags better than pic related I dont fucking understand
Leo Brooks
Fuck dude, scary I was just thinking up a scenario where all of our food is prepared on machines like this and I was locked out for using non licensed green beans
Hunter Mitchell
>Some dumb shits invested $118m for literally the Juice Loosener
Venture fucking Capital I swear
Christian Evans
>everything about this
Michael Gomez
>san francisco I'm not murican and you'll never see me set foot in that backwater third world country, but even I know enough about murica to know that with san fran it's always the same damn shit, all the gayest inventions, most unjustifiable rich "startups", and the biggest wastes of money
I think san fran is to the united corporations of america as brussels is to belgium, or eastern europe is to europe
William Bennett
why is the lottery better than saving money? why is that you get to your destination quicker the faster you go?
just cause, user.
Ian Hall
I don't get it, you pay one for the bags and then again every time you want to actually squeeze juice out of them?
Joshua Nguyen
>DRM protected juice
What a time to be alive!
Liam Hughes
How is the juice not refrigerated? And who tf drinks juice?
Owen Green
I don't get this. Do they ship the bags to you for free then ship you more once you return the empty bags, making money from the squeezer registering uses?
Do they sell the bags at a liss, making money ftom use registration?
Kayden Reyes
No, you have to buy bags, $7 each.
Jason Jackson
Sell juicer way over cost Sell bags of juice way over cost .... Profit
What is not to get? It is literally kuerig cups for fruit/veg juice
Cameron Morgan
>buy juicero >Turns out its fucking shit >Install gentoo on it and order 1$ juice bags from aliexpress >Alarm goes off and makes my chink mango juice for me as i wake up >Just as i take a sip of my chinese heavy metal juice hear a loud bang >Juicero commandos break into my house, kill my wifes son and dog, then arrest me >Charged with copyright terrorism and sent to guantamano >Forced to program windows 10 apps from ipad until i die
Jordan Diaz
not even. At least the machine is doing *something*. You can't just buy and drink a keurig cup thing. You can just buy and directly drink from one of these bags. The machine has no reason to exist at all.
Josiah Roberts
How long until someone hacks the machine and makes reusable bags to use your own fruits and vegetables?
Austin Allen
The user would still have to buy a $500 kitchen botnet.
Alexander Butler
Yes but after that the user can disable the botnet and make juice with freedom.
Dominic Walker
>spending $500 on a juicer Even up here in the economic shithole known as Canada I can get two actual juicers (i.e. real fruit goes in & juice comes out) for less than one glorifies bag squeezer. No botnet, no drm, and no stupidity. Sometimes I think Americans have more money than brains.
Nathan Collins
So is this just Capri Sun for morons with a shitload of money?
Asher Mitchell
>250 USD for a juicer >not just blending fruit in a 20 USD blender Fuck off leaf.
How long until they start importing Canadian milk for their machine?
Levi Ramirez
>pulp free I never said they were the same, the pulp is good and provides fiber.
Carter Rodriguez
What's the point of it anyways. The juice will be spoiled because it's out of refrigeration. No one knows who makes the juice so there could be Listeria or E. coli in it.
Brody Morales
The point is to appeal to the "modern hippie" type who need connectivity in everything and absolutely need modern everything. Basically people with too much money to give a shit about anything except for the environment.
Sure, I love my orange juice with pulp, but I simply said I could get two actual juicers for the price of the juicero. Besides, health freaks will put spinach, grass, and other shit into a juicer so they don't get pulp.
Jayden Martin
Verification cans are getting real. Holy shit.
Colton Rogers
>It's not a juicer. You're right. It's a Juicero™ :^)
Lincoln Bailey
>I don't get it JEWSER E W S E R
Joseph Fisher
What the holy fuck is this thing? White American suburbia: The Machine?
Caleb Wright
It's another one of these gimmick filled "LETS MAKE AN APP FOR THIS" idea that is all the rage in entrepreneur corners at the moment.
Pet water bowl? APP. Toothbrush? APP. Gym yoga mat? APP.
Of course it always has to be connected to the internet as well. Although it's funny that they have this for the yuppie market and has it use plastic bags.
Adam Perez
What about...
...An app for an app? Am I a billionaire now?
Ethan Ortiz
It's hard to look more jewish than this
Logan Flores
Browser and OS? I've been getting that same bullshit, though not nearly as bad.
Oliver Ward
Technically that's what that Chinese app is that is super popular. Let's you do so much shit in one ecosystem. And what Facebook is trying to get messanger to become.
So yes, you can be a billionaire
Thomas Stewart
...
Levi Wright
They probably convinced old rich idiots who know nothing about how the world works any more to raise that money. Probably a large part of it from relatives.
Elijah Taylor
Does it even squeeze the bag from the top down so nothing gets stuck?
David Baker
There's nothing to get stuck, it's a bag of pre-squeezed juice mixed with pre-squeezed pulp and some sort of sieve opening so the pulp stays in the bag
Caleb Nelson
>First choose the Wi-Fi network you'd like your press to connect to HOW ABOUT NONE?
Why not simply put the pack into the juicer without having to use a smartphone application? They have added unnecessary steps into the use of their product.
Carson Campbell
Good things came out of eastern Europe though. Can't think of a single good thing about Brussels. Or Belgium.
James Perry
if you're already buying a pre-packaged juice product
why isn't it already juiced in the package?
Jordan Nguyen
The bags have unique codes read by a scanner on the juicer If it detects your bag is expired or has already been used it won't let you press it
Colton Morales
To make the device serve a purpose. If it were already juice, you wouldn't need the 400 dollarinos thingy.
Anthony Torres
they're not even wrong, people prefer similarity and consistency over quality or even quantity in food
why do you think starbucks burns all of their coffee and sells their smallest size for $3 and is still in business
Luke Nelson
>why do you think starbucks burns all of their coffee and sells their smallest size for $3 and is still in business A venti (large) coffee at Starbucks is $1.75
Gabriel Wright
it is
Brandon Stewart
>yfw the non-free pizza meme thread is actually reasonable for once
>tfw came in here to bitch but was pleasantly surprised
Camden Hernandez
There's always a market for stupid people.
Julian Torres
So it opens a pouch for you?
Eli Bennett
Hang on to your shekels when he comes into the room.
Asher Jones
>raised $118 million in venture capital
Levi Martin
no fucking way
Jonathan Gonzalez
>rubs hands canadianly in expectation of additional maple syrup tokens
Justin Martinez
It was a scam. They insinuated the bags contained fresh fruit and vegetables.
Christian Diaz
4chanx with old captcha enabled maybe?
Christopher Moore
I wish the no javascript one worked again. Haven;t checked if it works.
Jonathan Cruz
I think I'll stick to water, thanks
Noah Price
...
Adrian Wright
>A fucking camera that's used fucking once for setup (y u no use usb) >Wifi that's used never >youtu.be/X1oHp-VvhDE >Yippies, filthy yippies everywhere
Why is the whole world going retarded?
Gabriel Torres
I think this shit is exactly what infomercials are for the elderly.
Mason Taylor
I fully expect to see people on Sup Forums buy this, then berate those who haven't to be "poorfags."