Opens up Command Prompt

>Opens up Command Prompt
>"WOW user, are you a hacker?"

>Open up Sup Forums
>"So, you know this "Sup Forums" guy, huh?"

>type faster than "pecking speed"
>omg user you're gonna break my keyboard!

>"you're building a computer? wow you are so smart user!"

Gtfo 13yro

>open up cmd to enter ipconfig/all
>Do you know how to hack people?

Not underage ore no tomodachi.

>Installs winrar
>1 year later I have computer problems
>Normie says that its because of winrar
>mfw

Hadn't seen that pic in ages

>hey user, how much does it costs to make a website?

No, that's because you run Windows of course

>"honey i'm having problems with the computer"
>"k mom, let me take a look"
>*install Adobe Reader*
>Wow user, you're such a tech guy!

>Professor is using chrome to show class a video
>It crashes, but doesn't end the program, so it won't restart
>We wait for a couple minutes before I offer to fix it
>open task manager and end process
>"Wow, we've got a hacker in the class!"

>*everyone laughs*

>"what's your name son?"

literally my tuesday

You mean yuujin or nakama.

>Be in different Professor's class
>It's a newer room, so he doesn't know how the projector works
>Receive extra credit for connecting projector to computer
>Class is over
>He doesn't know how to make the projector screen go back either
>Walk up to projectors button on wall
>"Hold 3 seconds to turn off projector"
>Receive more extra credit for fixing projector
I pay money for this.

>hey user, help me with specs
>ok
>how much ram do I need?
>8 GiB
>hey, I think I'll buy 16 GiB
>you absolutely don't need 16 GiB
>hmm, you think so? well, I'll buy 16 GiB anyway
And he buys 16 GiB

> GiB
> You need about 8 Gibibytes
> uh user I think you mean GIGAbytes

People need to understand anyone can murder them when they're crossing the road, it's just not profitable to them. Same for computers.

>look up to my neighborhood black thug cuz he got game
>comes to me one day piss drunk whining about how he wish he knew about computers as well as me

>computer isn't running windows
>Wow user your windows looks real weird!

>compiling gentoo
>"user, I think your computer's broke"
>dad tears you away and sits at your computer for an hour

>implying people with common sense who are able to grasp the concept of murder and the computer literate are one and the same
as if all comp sci geniuses are able to tell left from right, are able to defend themselves, be alpha male, and get married and take care of a family
life is simple user, you will lack in the area directly opposite of the area you excel at

> hey user how do I fix this thing
> ok dad you just have to do this
> no that's not right
> what? no i'm telling you it i-
> user i don't think you know what you're doing
> then why did you ask me for help?
> don't get smart, if you didn't know, you should have just said so

...

>not telling them you're a hacker

Sup Forums, thanks dad

...

my parents never said shit when they asked me for help. they just waited until i finish.

if you haven't figured it out yet then you should know that academia is filled with people too stupid and incompetent to succeed in the industry.

Mine are often like that, but dad likes to think he knows better, so he'll ask for help, I'll start doing stuff, and then he'll start messing around and clicking on things. e.g. setting up a Chinese Chromecast rip off, I connected to it with my phone and started setting everything up, so he was just like "While you're doing that, I'll just have a bit of a play as well" and connected to it with his tablet, overwriting all the settings and disconnecting it, shit like that.

this just happened to me. people are telling me to put that shit on my resume even tho any dudebro with money could do it.

humanity aint logical

[[laugh track intensifies]]

say what you will about that shit, you have to admire that Cuck Lorrie is basically the only person peddling it in the biz, what a jew

8 is shit you need 16

foxit reader or just chrome are good alternatives

I'm three years in, but I'm starting to learn

...

>"WOW user, are you a hacker?"
Yes. My Show HN got, like, 100 upvotes, so I'm officially a hacker now.

The way this usually goes is two or three people who are very proud of themselves for knowing basic windows "tricks" try to talk over each other until whoever is loudest shuts the other ones down into submission (usually) then she may or may not manage to communicate the solution to the professor but will sit with the happiest grin until the end of class because she got to show off her computers knowledge.

...

As a brit I can confirm that is how things work over here.

>"user I dropped my phone and cracked the screen and I need to get the photos off of it. can you help me email them to myself?"

>open command prompt
>hear police sirens start in the distance

Attack. Kill. Destroy. A group of online hackers calling themselves "anonymous". An Internet hate machine.

>Opens up Command Prompt
>"WOW user, are you a hacker?"
>"heh yeah you'd better watch out" (;
>everyone laughs

>Open cmd
>ipconfig /all
>Go to default gateway then change the wifi password
>OH FUCK! You just hacked the school wifi!!! O MAI GOD

>normalfag building pc to browse facebook and leddit
>he needs 16GB ram
go back to whatever place you came from

>unironically buying a goyphone in the first place

>Windows + R
>Type run
>cmd
>color /all
>color /a
>dir /s
>Normies flip the fuck out

>sudo apt-get update && upgrade
>"Damn, Andrew! Are you hacking??"

>open cmd
>tree

>Who are you hacking user?

>open cmd
>ping

same response, but at the IT division of a financial company.

>time to kill at the airport
>go to mcdonalds, code for a bit
>After half an hour McWageslave the franchise owner comes over
>Asks if I'm hacking mcdonalds
>Hack mcdonalds how
>He doesn't know but he says it's making other customers nervous
>Says he'll give me a coffee for free if I leave lol
>Take the coffee and never come back

Kevin!!!!

>"user the computer doesn't work"
>Herewego.jpg
>"I cannot open the emails anymore"
>What do you mean cannot open
>"The emails are gone they were right here"
>Mfw she means the gmail bookmark in the bookmarks toolbar

>user how do I put this image in my doc
>>Where is it?
>Desktop
>>*Drags*
>You're a genius!

people don't even try things for fucks sake

But that's usually firefox

>assuming I didn't

>rarely have issues with personal computer
>know how to troubleshoot when they happen
>no need to use family computer
>family computer constantly experiencing problems
>"user must have broke the computer like he always does"
>still ask for tech support
>backseat support the whole time
>any problems in the next 6 years are your fault

>your programming is making other feel uncomfortable
Top tier kek

Breadhead thumbnail kinda looks like BB-8 before you enlarge it

>someone downloads The_movie.avi.cgg.exe through limewire or some shit
>animated toolboars on desktop
>using shady bootleg discs from school friend
>i install firefox
>"MOM user GAVE THE COMPUTER A VIRUS!"
>banned from computer
>computer gets worse
>obviously my fault
>to this day say i always break things
>they can't use a tv without needing help

i mad

>have rooted phone
>user why don't you throw it away it's all messed up
>user your phone has a wired design anf boot screen I think it's a virus
>user we went into your room and took your working phone and replaced it with a piece of shit budget phone
>you're welcome
Thankfully they didn't throw it away and still own it, Galaxy J3 is trash. S3 ftw

>any problems in the next 6 years are your fault
It is if you install something like an ad blocker. Sometimes the normal sites break because of the fucking botnet. I had this happen in the past were I had to whitelist because of the easylist filter breaking facebook uploads. To me that was a feature.

>they can't use a tv without needing help
This so fucking much. It sucks when people get senile.

How the fuck.. ..well at last you have two phones now.

Teach them how to use it then you child

Pro tip: Use white background and do whatever to make it look like notepad or some normie shit. When the other people leave, run a script to go back to your usual configs or whatever. If you are the family tech support, you may consider leaving cmd or whatever like that.

>ITT high horse idiots

b-b-b-b-ut you mean we're not better because we understand computers better?

Normalfag also probably uses chrome, normalfag probably is also a major procrastinator with ADD like stupidity, normalfag probably has 50+ tabs open on chrome at that point.

> normie ask about what my thesis was about
> try to explain using simple/common analogies
> 1 minute in
>"LOL user, i already don't know what you're talking about"

Reader DC is fucking garbage, because of changes to renderer

>can't into green text
You are the normie.

don't worry user, we totally are

>Computer doesn't work
>The teacher wants me to fix it, cause I'm the tech guy
>Computer runs on windows
>No terminal emulator, no bash or *sh
>Haven't used GUI in years
>After 15mins of clicking I finally figure out, how to open a task manager

t. brainlet

>cd code
>cd..
>cd..
>cd ..
>ls
>cd code
>cd

Prove you're better than me by making a whole operating system by yourself, shit brains

ctrl-alt-del?

Doing basic computer shit doesn't make you a "tech guru" faggots

top

They can't, they're all just CIA niggers

Hah! Thanks for that but I'm certainly not Terry

These reek of the 1 2 3 4 pasta. Normies can't be this tech illiterate...

you'd honestly be surprised

>user, I haz computer prahblums halp nao
>note the lack of "please"
>easy fix, just set an option in the program and/or explain what buttons to press
>Gee I hate computars why must them be so complicated rant rant
note the lack of a "thank you"
>week later
>AAAANON >:C YOU STUPID FUCK, NOW I HAVE [a problem with a completely unrelated program / downloaded a virus / uninstalled my program because I'm an idiot / hardware going bad due to old age / installed a crapton of toolbars and other bloatware] YOU BROKE MY 'PUTAR

Ctrl-Alt-Esc is faster

Ctrl-shft-esc you nard

>cardiology class
>doctor takes us to his office then leaves for a while
>notice old-ass machine on desk
>windows_98.com
>fire up cmd
>enter h4x0r commands such as cd and dir
>"are you hacking the hospital user?"
>mfw

>implying these kind of people a willing to learn in the first place

Srsly, I'v been yelling "Cntr+S every five minutes" at my dad for almost 20 years now. Still loses hours of unsaved work when something goes wrong. Still doesn't know Cntr+S is save.
>20 years

>tfw I aways have at least 30 tab open and half of them are from at least a month ago because even though I'm done with the page I still want to keep it open but I don't want to bookmark it because I have autism

>he doesn't have 60 tabs open constantly
wtf????

Fuck.
How did I herp derp this bad?

This, jesus christ why are they so fucking afraid of nothing?

>Its this thread
okay
1
2
3 megaman picture, 4

DELETE THIS

>Giving Tech Support with White Background / Black Text
"Thank you, user! You saved it!"
>Giving Tech Support with Black Background / Colored Text
"What are you doing to my computer? Are you hacking me?"
>Giving Tech Support with Black Background / White Text
"Why is your computer so old?"