Need a tablet for downloading porn and fapping in the bathroom

So I narrowed down my search to these two because I cannot stand Android.

Used Surface Pro 256GB i5-4300u 8GB RAM, $300

Pros:
-can download and play directly without having to convert the format
-has a stand or something
-has deal includes weird rubber keyboard and pen

Cons:
-rated 6-7 hours battery life
-fan gets noisy
-runs hot
-interface not as slick as iPad

Brand new iPad 2017

A9X, 128GB, 2GB of RAM and retina display $400

Pros:
-much better display
-slick interface
-iOS support and apps
-11+ hours battery
-more ergonomic to help with fapping
-better camera to take a picture of my dick while fapping

Cons:
-has to transfer files through iTunes
-OS is slick and easy to use but limited
-pretty overpriced for what it is

why would you want an expensive tablet just to watch videos (porn)?

There are some $100 Windows tablets that are perfectly fine for that

just replace your laptop with a surface pro 5

I don't want the chink made ones because I bought a $100 one off Aliexpress and that shit was filled with fucking unremovable malware. If I do buy a $100 one it has to be from a reputable company.

So far I am leaning towards the Apple because its much lighter as well. Plus the superior screen makes it much better for ebooks and browsing Sup Forums as well.

I have an iPad Pro 9.7 inch and a Surface Pro 4....

I think I haven't used the surface pro 4 in about 3 weeks because it's awkward and sub-optimal both as a laptop and as a tablet.

The iPad Pro is good for watching porn and browsing the web. VLC allows sharing over the web, none of that iTunes sharing crap. I think the last time I used iTunes with any of my apple products was 2012.

If you can't unlock a chink bootloader, you don't belong here

Gaymen company aside, Nvidia Shield is the moto g of tablets

>I don't want unremovable malware
>I want a windows or iOS device
pick one

Get a cheap galaxy tablet you colossal nimrod. You dumb bumblefuck sack of walking talking spitshit and vomit. You braindead pile of rhinoceros shit what kind of simpleton asks such an insipid question you dopey bastard.

Anything with WIndows since it can run MPC-HC, mpv, Qbittorrent, FLASH, and whatever else you want to.

Android and iOS are shit.

>not using superior e-ink displays for ebooks

>touching anything made in China before touching your penis

Enjoy your herpes, AIDS and chink anal leper

>-has to transfer files through iTunes

You can use CopyTrans if you want something different for desktop. Plenty of applications build in their own way to transfer files. Like I have a comic book application that just temporarily runs a web server so you can transfer files through your browser

I would consider a Xperia Tablet Z(2)
Especially if you want to fap under the shower
I know what I'm talkin about these are waterproof

IOS might have some majpr problems with downloading and playback without conversion

>might
Ah, the weasle word has arrived.

>fapping in the bathroom
you must be 18 to post on this site

>tfw I used to have a Gen 2 ipad but upgraded to a ipad pro
>ipad pro is too heavy to hold while I do long fap sessions
>limited to sitting at a desk (where I can just use a computer), laying in be or sitting AC Slater on the toilet.

>list 3 pros and 4 cons about the surface
>list 6 pros and 3 cons about the iPad

I think you've already made your decision OP.

Plus, I have a windows tablet and it's not a good experience. I only use it for playing documentaries off youtube while I'm at work and some occasional manga reading because actually browsing the web on it is shit. The tablet interface windows has is slightly better than the desktop, but it's way worse than any android or iOS tablet I've used.

I have a SP2 and I disagree. Were you using 10 or 8/8.1? The only issue that's tablet related is simply that there still aren't a ton of applications built for tablets. This has improved a lot over time though.

I kinda figured that, overall the user experience is more comfy with the iPad. Not only that but since I have a Mac it would go better with the Apple eco-system. I might just get an older iPad Air instead.

>Anything with WIndows since it can run MPC-HC, mpv, Qbittorrent, FLASH, and whatever else you want to.
such as?

such as?

surface 3 non pro

fucking this. I got one and all i use it for is porn, reading and taking notes in college

you do know windows and ios is full of unremovable malware right? Also i would def buy surface pro, atleast its actually full windows and can be used for actual work if need arise