Hey Sup Forums I need to tech advice...

hey Sup Forums I need to tech advice. My computer chair smells like a dirty asshole and there's also some semen stains on it as well. Also my dog drools on it sometimes, and I've blown snot on the seat in the past by accident(don't ask). Me personally, I love the smell but lately people have been sniffing around in my room and they say it stinks and I think it's the chair to blame.

I need a tech-friendly way of cleaning the chair and making it sparkle like new, like those Mr. Clean commercials. So, what should i do

pic related is not my chair but it looks fairly similar, with a little bit less poop stain

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Fucking gross, anyways nothing cleans as good as hit water and a scrub brush. Take a kettle just off boil and poor some kn the chair, scrub then pat dry with towel.

Especially for the cum stains, vinegar (or lemon juice) and water should clean everything

youtube.com/watch?v=oyqclZgv0mk

or fire. fire would probably work better

fuck cleaning it just get some fabreeze

Hydro peroxide

Ask some Indian tech support dude.

Personally op, I would just recommend getting another chair. I too had a chair like you some years ago. I sat all day at a time when I never showered in my neckbeard unairconditoned gaming lair, sweating and farting into the chair. The fabric which covered the sponge cushion disintegrated and I started using a pillow which got dirty as fuck. Eventually it smelled awful all together and I don't remember what happened to it. (Threw it probably) I'd recommend leather. I used a serta big and tall chair which is comfy as fuck. I'd like to add: contrary to your mental projections of me, I'm not fat and don't have a neckbeard.

Gonna second this vinegar guy. I used it to deodorize the air in my basement and it worked.

Wash up more often and stop sitting on the chair naked.

>the average Sup Forums chair

...

>My computer chair smells like a dirty asshole and there's also some semen stains on it as well
> Also my dog drools on it sometimes, and I've blown snot on the seat


>I love the smell

Good old Sup Forums.

i wanna smell your chairs :3

...

lol

For a chair that far gone, the only way to rehabilitate it is to reupholster it with new foam and fabric. Is it possible? Yes. Is it a lot of work? Oh fuck yes. Is it more worth it just to get a new chair? I think you know the answer by now.

10bux says you're a creepy motherfucker irl

What the fuck, you have to just get a new chair at this point. They sell chairs for like 19$ at costco.

throw it away and buy another one

Buy a new one poorfag

Expect a new asshole.

holy shit does this actually happen to people?

Yea typically happens when you have a cheap chair and bounce on it.

1) Get a new chair
2) Cover the seat of the chair with a towel
3) Wash/Replace the towel every week
You also might want to consider covering the back of the chair as well...I use button down demi shirts for that (I have like 4 of those things).

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i will now feel nervous sitting in my chinese chair

You should toss it out and buy a new one you disgusting retard

>not owning a leather chair

How did you get that chain into that horrible state? I poop myself 1-2 times a week because I like to be a naughty little boy who is too lazy to go the bathroom and interrupt his game time, plus it's fun to sit in something warm and soft. I usually sit in my poop for hours and wiggle in it for the lolz. My chair has no bad smell or stains at all because I clean it with soap water afterwards plus use wet wipes on it.

get one with a metal plate underneath

god is dead

God isn't dead. He wants me to be happy, and this makes me happy so it's all good.

>someone got "killed anally" by an exploding office chair made cheaply in china

i really want to call bullshit on this story but it's fucking china and we have light bulbs with IP addresses so who even knows anymore