Google I/O

youtube.com/watch?v=Y2VF8tmLFHw
anandtech.com/show/11409/the-google-io-2017-keynote-live-blog
live.arstechnica.com/google-io-2017-keynote/

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/GQ7c6fHKNMo
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Is google dead? They've run out of ideas and companies to buy. They're just reiterating again and again. The industry needs some fresh blood

SUPER CHAT

>draw a rectangle and a circle
>CALL IT MODERN DESIGN
The age we chose.

Recap
>more LGBT rights
>more refugees
>saying "4x" rather than four times
>Super Chat (paying for stickied Youtube live comments)

>all this AI analysis of your photos and text

The botnet is getting stronger.

>muh diversity

google why

IT'S OVER

Also
>More AI
>More Google Assistant features
>Google Lens for AI object recognition
>Google Home gains BT (not sure if it was disabled prior or if there's a new model)

>AIs that train AIs

Is this the beginning of Skynet?

...

MODERN FLAT DESIGN IS A MISTAKE
SKEUOMORPHISM IS THE FUTURE

HOW MAKE WE GOOGLE DIE?

THIS IS PURE CANCER SHIT. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>HEY LOOK WE GOT A NOTIFICATION DOT WHICH THE IPHONE 3 ALREADY HAD LOL!

That Lens shit looks pretty dope famalams

Built in Malware protection for Google Play Store

Remember the LGBTs!

I want built in copycat shovelware protection but that would kill 95% of apps

what the fuck is Kotlin

...

THIS.

Why dont they use C for Apps?

When the botnet recognizes your lol folder and calls the cops, remember it was your captcha solving that made it happen

The company that makes JetBrains invented it. It's just some bullshit that compiles to java.

Kuckland added to android!

New programming language based on javascript running on top of javascript inside a html/css container via javascript injection!

Features new native emojii inside the editor!

I want a built in botnet prevention app that immediately bricks my phone

C is for Cucks.

Seven brazilians [redacted] every day

that's some next level stuff

What about holyC?

Android Go
woops meant minutes. whatever

her voice was SUPER annoying and dudebro

also the currys are impossible to listen to,
>when your CEO only speaks curry so thick your ears just bleed

that's seven brazilians too many

Summary so far:
- Google announces AutoML, an AI that can train AIs.
- Google announces Google Lens, which enables assistant to use your camera and answer things about your environment
- Google Photos gets some updates to allow sharing photos of particular people or things with other people automatically (and also expands its capabilities to edit things out of pictures like fences automatically)
- Google Home can take over nearby devices and display results or perform actions on phones or chromecast TVs.
- Youtube CEO talks about diversity
- Youtube announces SuperChat for livestreams, that allows people to pay money to get their comment stickied in chat
- Android boot times halved in Android O, and resource limits placed on background apps
- Google Play Protect provides malware protection by scanning all your apps
- Kotlin now an officially supported dev language for Android
- Android Go project intended to make Android run better on phones with shit specs for poor countries

>Android Go

LMAO

they just should call it Yet Another Affordable Android Project

When did this start? am i late?

More Youtube Apps. This one is for data savings.

>t. brainlet

Built in TP dispenser for India when?

>preview a 20MB video before watching it

holy shit this is really third-world af jesus fuck

> Kotlin officially supported on Android

Dart and Go officially BTFO.

What the fuck is Google even doing with Dart? They don't support it on anything.

1 hour and 40 minutes ago

:thinking:

>LGBT
>refugees
>22 indian laguages
>:thinking:
cringy as fuck

Built in TP dispenser for India when?

More like Android NO updates.

They should buy cuckchan. Slow as fuck.

these "Lite" apps feel like what they should have been all along

don't need bloated Skype, Facebook and Youtube

just make those available everywhere

fucking Google retards

POO IN LOO OS

When did this start? am i late?

Take the poo
To the loooo!
Take the poo
To the loooo!
Take the poo
To the loooo!

Get in here fuckboiz
youtu.be/GQ7c6fHKNMo

Get in here fuckboiz
youtu.be/GQ7c6fHKNMo

SHOW MORE CHROMEBOOK STUFF

RREEEEEEE

Is anyone else having trouble posting?

Yeah

Immigrants are good ok goy???

Oh look, the afghani immigrant is helping people! Muh enrichment! You better let all of them into your country!

how come modern smartphones seem like a fad? none of this shit is necessary, and these devices are going to be completely useless by 2021. meanwhile, old nokia bars from the 2000s still work just fine and will for quite some time. I've actually got a couple of friends who switched back to old nokia/moto phones since they simply still worked and did what they needed phones to do. I can't be the only one

that's kinda the point, literally they're targeting people living in huts with cellphones, giving Bush people a bank account and power, it's kind of a transformative thing even though I hate using a buzz word like that but it's really like uplifting an entire civilization with futuristic learning tech before they even get plumbing or street lights. literally adding billions of people to the global economy is a huge deal

that's kinda the point, literally they're targeting people living in huts with cellphones, giving Bush people a bank account and power, it's kind of a transformative thing even though I hate using a buzz word like that but it's really like uplifting an entire civilization with futuristic learning tech before they even get plumbing or street lights. literally adding billions of people to the global economy is a huge deal

What else do you need other than Samsung's Chromebook Plus and Pro

why have they literally got a segment about fucking india in there when they're meant to be a high-tech frontline start of the art company? why am I seeing Pajeet documentary?

Half the fun of this I/O is watching the Sup Forumstards get triggered

Enjoy being replaced by Pajeet

>Open keynote
>Watch 10m minutes listening to new improvements for Android O
>Close keynote since the rest is bullshit either way.

Wew

When will google finally stop being morons and present unnecessary shit?

>you are one click away from clicking
really makes you think

I wonder if they'll talk about Polymer. Now that 2.0 is released, nearly all browser have implemented web components and YouTube's new UI is built with it, you'd think they'll mention it.

What else do you need other than Samsung's Chromebook Plus and Pro

>can finally text Google Assistant, a feature that should have been there from the start

What else do you need other than Samsung's Chromebook Plus and Pro

What the fuck was going on before? Was there a blackout? I wasn't able to post a thread during the event about google or io.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>immigrants here
>immigrants there
>diversity
All tech companies are going to shit, how is that Microsoft and Google have indian CEOs and Apple's has a gay CEO (no pun intended)

Show me those titties

There was a hostile takeover.

yeah 4chinz is broken

>Kotlin now an officially supported dev language for Android
jesus, it's taking off so fast

did you practice your Yes And today Sup Forums?

tell me you did you fucking bigots

Hey it was done by a semi-retarded Somalian refugee who once through a shoe at an African Warlord because Xe wanted to go to school to learn about Koding from Karlie Kloss.

Stop being racist.

K O T L I N
O
T
L
I
N

No, so?

This site is broken on multiple level.

What does #4 even mean?

>Someone says faggot
>You say "Yes and?"

>meanwhile, old nokia bars from the 2000s
Until they shut down their ancient cdma transceivers lmao

Moot posted on the twitter that one of the servers got wanacryd

We still have GSM.

Where is FUSCHIA

No, it's totally shit.

Yes and I guess this means that I can run naked shouting "The reds are coming". That is how I mostly express myself.

What the fuck is neurodiversity?

>moot
Do you mean gookmoot? Also install gentoo!
Fucking tech illiterate jap.

>youtube chat
>not 'nigger kys faggot nigger' every 2nd line

yeah mootgook

You are now supposed to accept schizophrenics, bipolar, multiple personalities, and autistics as totally normal 100% sane people otherwise you're racist.

I don't think announcing FUSCHIA in the main event for the people that make a living from the OS that will ultimately be replaced by it and thus put most on them out of jobs or in retraining will go well.

neurological diversity, aka "ACCEPT MY SCHIZOPHRENIA OR ELSE CIA NIGGER"

enrichment with sub-70 iq niggers

Literally people with autism

At least there was no emoji this year.

Take a look at the speaker. Fucking faggot. Why did they think this is a good idea?

>suck my dick?
>yes and
>nice, lets go