Give me a quick rundown on the programming languages

Give me a quick rundown on the programming languages.

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wiki.dlang.org/Language_issues
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Beyond godlike tier:
Haskell
God tier:
C, ASM
Good tier:
C++, Java
Fine tier:
C#, Perl
Shit tier:
JavaScript, Ruby
Nigger tier:
Python, PHP

C++ is the best java is for poos from india

java ranked above C#, top kek mate

Why C# should be ranked above Java since it proprietary microsoft shit.

Only Useful For Autismcred Tier : C, ASM
Stupid and Poorly Designed Tier : Haskell, Perl, PHP
Usable But Not Great Tier : JavaScript, C++
Pretty Okay Tier : Python, Ruby
Ascended Tier : Ocaml and Fortran
BigBoyBrain Ultra-Lord Tier : Your own custom written purely functional compiler with bindings to low-level programming featuring optimized tail calls.

I use java at Lockheed Martin. Also if you've taken a plane anywhere there's an 80% chance a few of its components run on java.

> purely functional
Haskell is purely functional and apperently you are not capable of using it. Sure, there are some minor problems in the design of the language but overall it's the best functional lang out there

swap python and ruby or I'm suing, you object fag

Easiest to start with is probably Python

Yea without basic understanding of data structures and algorithms.

Quick rundown on Python:

>rothschilds bow to the Python programmers
>in contact with aliens
>rumoured to possess JIT abilities
>control the internet with an iron fist
>own servers and mainframes all over the world
>direct descendants of the ancient royal programming language
>will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Pythongrad will be be the first city
ancient Indian scriptures tell of two snakes who will descend upon the Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
>These are the Python twins
>They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have Pythonbots inside you right now
>The Pythons are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church
>They learned fluent x86 Assembly in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the snakes. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Python
>Trump is rumoured to be a Python programmer
>own basically every DNA editing research facility on Earth
>first designer babies will be Python Babies
>Guido is said to have 200+ IQ

DELET

>it's a "let's compare every programming languages with each other even though they are not made for the same thing" thread again

statistics tier:
R

shitty kids need to stop arguing over whats better and get a job...

>prolog
designed for artificial intelligence and is useful for studying machine learning concepts.

>C
Lowest high level language, a staple for most low level programers. Great for those seeking to manipulate hardware.

>C++
C with object orientation in mind, it adds many features that take a long time to learn. In its minimal form, its great as a modern general purpose language.

>Java
Object oriented language. Great for learning modern programming, but often teaches bad syntax eg. "System.out.println("string"); is a bit much, where as something like "cout C#
Microsoft sponsered language. Used in .Net platform, but also reigns in game design and sort of mimics java in forced object orientation. Not as portable as others.

>Objective C
Apple version of C, closer to C++ but less portable.
>Swift
The successor to Objective C, but gayer. Meant for iOS and Apple development. Its syntax is simple, but its useless without the apple enviornment, even though they advertise it as opensource and portable.

>python
Simplest high level language. Meant to be readable, but in recent times it has to many incompatable versions. Legacy code is 2.7, but 3.5+ is meant to be the new standard for it. It has a difficult time with backwards compatability, but makes for a great scripting language.

>Haskell
Functional language that is meant to be stright forward in syntax, but suffers from a lack of practical uses.

>#include
what did she mean by this?

(Continued...)

>R
Designed for statistical work but can be used for much more than its original purpose.

>Lua
Its cute. Its simple. Its simple. Its designed for embedded systems and can be used for anything from scripting to object orientation to procedual programming.

>Basic
The only language Sup Forums can understand, even though most of the people here claim otherwise. Its name explains it all, but its fun to play with.

Why isn't there a 1 minute guide to every programming language where they assume you know programming?
How to compile, run and automatically check for errors and where to find the documentation?
It could be written in a short and concise way.

most indians cant tell the difference between

#include

and

#include

until they use the wrong input or output function. Happens.

>why doesnt something exist?
because someone hasn't made it. simple.

>get a job
>>prolog
nice one

You realize there is more than one language listed, right?


actually nevermind, you're not going to comprehend anything.

Beyond god tier:
Scheme/Lisp

God tier:
Javascript (because of meme.js frameworks, insane demand for devs right now)
Python

Good tier:
C
Ruby
C#

Absolute trash tier:
Java
Objective-C

>C++
>C with object orientation in mind, it adds many features that take a long time to learn. In its minimal form, its great as a modern general purpose language.
What you described is called D.

>multiple public: sections
Absolutely disgusting.

Slightly above average kek

I like D, but it has a while to go before its usable.

wrong

How is it not usable?

Let me simplify this.

>progol
obsolete shit

>C
The best one

>C++
bloated pile of shit

>Java
Shit

>C#
Quad shit

>Objective C
>Swift
Shit for faggots and niggers.

>python
Shit sponsored by jewgle. Has horrible syntax. Also only niggers use it.

>Haskell
The only true language. Unpopular because many retards can't into functional programming.

>R
Shit. Weird syntax.

>Lua
Shit in most cases.

>Basic
The only language Sup Forums can understand

>simplify
I doubt you can understand basic you scum.

D creators are fully aware of its issues, and are working had on them.
wiki.dlang.org/Language_issues
Plus its support is low. In time, it will be great.

Nice to know that you got your diploma.

>Haskell
>
>progol
>C
>C++
>Java
>C#
>Objective C
>Swift
>Python
>R
>Lua
>Basic