Name a worse suite of software than this

Name a worse suite of software than this

Pro tip:
>You cant


>Let's just make our software so vital for business practice that nobody can get rid of us because we know we suck

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I've only worked with SAP once, it was so badly implemented I refuse to believe it's because the software itself it that shitty and it only was due to crappy implementation by the IT team.

You literally can't name a worse software application than this piece of shit. Had to work with it for ten years (just left the job, in part due to S.A.P). The thing still runs like something from the 1990's.

I wake up everyday and praise Allah that today I'm not dealing with S.A.P errors.

Nope, it's the software itself

Hell, most modules only allow one person to edit a project at a time with no ability to send a request to the person to get off

I work in a company of nearly half a million employees across the world, if some guy in Germany left work in the afternoon with a project document open that I need to work on, I literally have to sit there all day and wait, I don't even know who it is or which plant it is.

It's awful

You don't happen to work for FNGP do you? If you do, I know your pain.

Microsoft Dynamics AX

Nope Bosch (specifically automotive)

You have no idea how many times I've had to get on the phone to our main office (in another country) and tell them to find out who is viewing what I'm using and get them to shut it down.

I'm dealing with shipments worth hundreds of thousands of pounds that need to go out asap and legally can not go without the right documents, and some faggot in Germany has left his screen on and gone home for the day.

Guess who gets the shit for it....yup me. Fuck sap.

I work for BHP and we use 1SAP.. yes it does suck.

There are so many different software packages that work so much better, but since it's so integral they think "there's no way we can change it"

Just fucking choose a date for swap, all projects before the date finish on sap, everything after the date uses new system. Individual departments handle inventory and spare part changes in the new system

Heads higher up will only see the upfront cost in implementing a new system and baulk at it. For some reason they refuse to see how much money is being lost due to sap itself. No one wants to be the guy agreeing to spending the company's money when they "don't need to".

I work for a very large company, we switched to SAP last month. Caused massive production problems and we discontinued it after two days.

Bosch uses something called BPS or Bosch production system, it's based on TPS which is the basis of lean manufacturing

The higher ups take BPS SERIOUSLY like it's holy doctrine

SAP literally is directly opposite of what the core doctrine of BPS/ lean is

You lucky mother fucker

What exactly is a SAP? I've seen it on several job descriptions but nobody wants to say what exactly it does. Is it that bad?

Dodged a bullet there mate. I've just started working for a company that is about to implement SAP. The bosses are boasting about it increasing the work flow. I've been telling them this is a bad idea, but I'm the new guy.

Fuck it, this outfit is in no shape to take on SAP. I'm looking for new opportunities and have resigned myself to fiddling while Rome burns. It'll be glorious.

>>You cant
I fucking can. Xerox uses something called Xerox Services Manager, XSM for short. It's a ticket logging system that doesn't actually do anything useful itself but rather communicates with SAP for you. It's a frustrating system with all the "intricacies" of SAP with none of the simplicity. Very often we find ourselves ignoring XSM and going directly through SAP BECAUSE XSM IS JUST THAT PAINFUL. Also, XSM will throw up a fuckton of errors without actually telling you why in any meaningful way.

If I could just work with SAP, I'd be a happy man. Oh, and no screenshots to share because XSM is a company secret and corporate espionage is bad. Yeah, because other companies want to know what he'll looks like.

It does many things, but to boil it down it's basically a database management program. One that was created in the 1970's. Instead of creating full new versions (so not to disrupt businesses) they just keep on building on to what is already there. It's a nightmare.

>There are so many different software packages that work so much better
Can you name some?

its a "business" program

it is meant as a platform for doing all operations within a company. This can include basics like keeping track of inventory and spare parts, and managing maintenance and generating POs. However it does everything from HR stuff, to major project management. However it just seems like it was made as a form document for making and filling out forms, that they never updated and just built on top of an already shitty program for decades

the issue is, it does tons, but does it all really poorly.

CEOs see it and think "well fuck, I can get one software package that will do everything! they'll love me if I do that" but in reality you just quadrupled the work everyone needs to do to get something done. It would be significantly better to have a hundred individual programs that do each thing well, and likely cheaper. Or even a suite that isn't so awful.

alternativeto.net/software/sap-business-suite/

quora.com/Whats-the-best-alternative-to-SAP

I use SAP just for time tracking at my company and I hate it

literally looks like pic related

congratulations, you found one of the most user friendly modules within SAP.

Open source no name companies. Sure.

If I want to integrate software into my company I want to know it'll still be around and supported 10/20 years from now. Half of these will be gone five years from now.

Oracle is a bigger company than SAP by a lot

and their ERP is much better

O.K

If a single large company begins paying those no name companies what they pay SAP, that company is going nowhere

and that company would practically be working for that bigger company, and would be able to give much more customization

>CEOs see it and think "well fuck, I can get one software package that will do everything! they'll love me if I do that" but in reality you just quadrupled the work everyone needs to do to get something done. It would be significantly better to have a hundred individual programs that do each thing well, and likely cheaper. Or even a suite that isn't so awful.

Ahmen.

I make software that acts as a human interface across multiple sources.
Those sources can be various SAP, Oracle, etc. software but also API's, data warehouses and even individual Excel sheets - whatever the client uses I can pretty much all integrate it and present an overview and do computations across the various forms of data.

But often CEO's say they rather have one big super complex super expensive "do it all" SAP application that's impossible to maintain or upgrade - AAAARGH.

And here I thought SAP was great software. We work with EPICOR v8 and you while the user interface is not all bad, the server is very finicky and it doesn't help we are using PostgreSQL.
I started working here 2 years ago but AFAIK this software hasn't been upgraded in years and migrating to new version is a nightmare, or so my boss says

Lucky you, that's basically a shit website. Most people have this type of thing. Only in English.

I'm talking the actual company size, not market share

Oracle had a revenue of $37.04B, $112B in assets and $47B in equity in 2016

SAP had €22 billion revenue, €44 billion in assets, and €26 billion in equity

Also since we're talking business software, I just want to say: fuck Lotus.

damn

nah, Mine is a mix of bad german written by chinese/indian people, and bad english written by germans

>Oracle
You're cherry picking. Most of those names are not worth gambling your company's life on, not to mention it's employees livelihood.

Ever wanted a way to manage all of your IT processes but never be able to do it because you're constantly in development hell?

Pic related.

>SAP
>Le German Engineering meme

Sounds like the seventh level of hell.

Hasso plattner is a god and none of you imbeciles realize he is doing gods work.

well, yeah, he is the majority owner of the San Jose Sharks hockey team

but he's still going to hell for SAP

>German software in English on a German operating system

If it's so shit then why is SAP still around?

because those that never have to use it are the ones that make the choice to keep it

PROTIP: You should never buy an enterprise application that requires enterprise application specific developers. You're asking for astronomical TCO.

>Pro tip:
>>You cant
I see you've never worked with a company that still uses AS/400

so many icons

mine is German (and I speak German) but error messages still sound foreign to me most of the time

I think their biggest customers are government agencies.
And they never learn from past mistakes.

Also they have good marketing because they speak the language CEO's like to hear.
It's all about "enterprise solutions" and "certificate X/Y/Z"
Modern companies use modern language like "Agile" and "Scrum" - this scares and confuses most CEO's.

mathcad is quite bad

where can I learn how to use SAP?

agreed OP, SAP is fucking repulsive

but then again so is literally every commercial ERP out there

>SAP
>Hey I'm a smart guy, worked on a lot of different software, I'm sure I can figure this out
>OK, to create an order, just type in that easy to remember acronym... CO01. Got it
>BOOP BOOP SCHEDULING ERROR
>EQUIPMENT MASTER NOTIFICATION ERROR
>MATERIAL CODE INCORRECT

fuck, like who the fuck ever learned to use this shit

At least they have a good football club

Guess what, every icon will open another sub menu with even more icons. Those icons will open even more....etc etc until suicide.

I work with SAP, it is indeed terrible crap. Atleast, I hate the client, and I absolutely hate to work with DI API. I mostly work with SAPIUI5 which is decent because it's just like OpenUI.

Although I am looking forward to using the Service Layer with SAPUI5. I think it would be the least terrible option.

they don't

I just picked up a process in SAP for my department because we lost our purchasing guy to a different department

he walked me through the steps he used to get it to send

basically he just starts it up and hits enter then fills all the errored out areas until it submits with random shit until it goes through

I work as a technician, before we adopted SAP we used a software called Maintenance Connection. I feel as though it was superior and more intuitive, than SAP.

CEO's don't have to use it. Shit rolls downhill, didn't you know?

You entered the material code wrong you fucking idiot. Enter the right one.

Try deleting an item from an order that has already been processed.

Reverse order
Look through hundreds of batch files
Delete handles
Jump through hoops
Say 12 hail marys at midnight
Re-processes order

NO BATCHES EXIST. Anyone have a razorblade?

My company has a unit that uses "unskilled" labor (just above McDonalds level) to do a simple step in SAP. We need someone to be able to do it at the right moment, and these people are there all the time and are usually happy to take a break from hitting the big green button that spits out parts.

We set it up really easy, so that all they have to do is log in and then use the barcode scanner. Step one, scan from sheet. Click on the circled field. Step two, scan from label. Step three, scan from sheet. Step four, scan from label.
Pictures, click-by-click instructions. Easier than using a Keurig machine.
It's still fucking hopeless. Click in the wrong box and the product cost is now the order number and we're billing someone $12345678 dollars.

On the plus side, it's hilarious

1C

>where can I learn how to use SAP?
You can't.

You can't download the software itself because it's enterprise trade secret shit. No trial etc. You have to talk to a million people to be able to buy someone or something to deploy it somwhere. Fuck I don't even know what platform the servers run on, probably Windows Server...

You can either take expensive af courses which spend ages teaching you basic shit which will be different in YOUR specific company anyway because they will use a different module at a different version etc.

Now if you work somewhere where they use SAP (which isn't even that hard) and you want to learn how to use it just ask anyone and they'll gladly hand you over all their shit (unless it requires clearance) because chances are they're glad THEY don't have to do it.

Now if you find your way through all the intricacies with the nonexisting/outdated/simply wrong documentation (mostly it'll be trial&error) and you manage to become decent at SAP you could take up some behind the scenes jobs or be a SAP consultant. It'll make you mad cash (if you're good) because there aren't many "good" SAP consultants really, because most hate what they do. But then you'll end like pic related. Lots of money but want to killyourself at the same time

We just figured out a major inventory loss

It was showing up that we were missing more than 40,000 parts. ends up there was an error in SAP that nearly made us miss a shipment

> Attempt to create a work order
>Need to assign an asset to the work order
>Fumble through a million menus trying to find where the assets are.
>Every global asset is listed.
>Finally find asset.
>Need to assign an inventory item to asset.
>Every piece of inventory worldwide is listed.
>What is the actual inventory number?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I studied information systems and we had a course that included SAP. Never even looked at it, because SAP knowledge wasn't required for the exam.

I think I'm the only guy with an Information Systems degree that doesn't know shit about SAP.

>I studied information systems
wwu?

no, Hamburg

I was looking for a higher res version of that picture.

Actually came across a SAP promotion site that uses it to illustrate how great job opportunities and pay as SAP consultant is.......
sap-certification.info/sap-salaries/

Apparently people who work for SAP don't see how depressing that picture is, they thunk it's just great advertising.
....explains they choice of icons and interfaces.

>Monthly order comes in
>That's bad, our volume dropped 70% this month
>highest running product is at 0%, everything else is the same
>production manager freaking out, starts making plans to have staff furloughed
>8 days into the month, finally gets through to the sales and forecasting group
>someone updated the configuration and it dropped all the volume from the order for that part
>everyone is on vacation from furlough so no one is around to turn things back on
>end up wasting half the month just because the inventory system told us to

meanwhile
>we've sold the same number of units to within 3% every month for like two years

Computers turn humans into idiots.

Lol

Pic related, 136 courses within the bosch internal training alone


BTW each of these courses is at least a 2 day seminar that costs your department around $800 not including travel

Oh and they only occur once to twice per year in your country

Pic heavily redacted because I love my job and don't want anything to give me away or to share company secrets

so what does SAP do

If the order value dropped by 70% did no one think to look into it? It must have looked out of place and why the fuck are sales noticing this so long after the production manager. They should be seeing this long before him.

>On an average, the pay for an SAP consultant is great. For example, according to a popular job search website the average pay for an SAP consultant in the UK is between 55K and 60K.

60K GBP = 79K USD

>the pay for an SAP consultant is great
yikes

So guess who's getting in on India's new tax scheme? What could go wrong with pajeet at the wheel?

>
“We believe we have the opportunity to create 120-million job opportunities over the next three to four years,“ he said. SAP Business One has over 6,600 MSME customers in India.

The SME sector is the fastest growth driver for SAP across the world, with about 90% of new customers added per year being from this segment.

SAP India has kicked off a pilot program with five techno logy centers operated by the MSME ministry to provide training and certification to SMEs for integration of key processes such as finance, sales and inventory with a single business software. The program is expected to go live in the next three months. SAP Business One counts its strength in being fully compliant with GST and able to deliver advanced technologies in both underdeveloped and developed are as. “The key thing for an ERP solution is statutory regulation. That has been the single biggest invest meant for SAP at a global level in the last 12 months," said Murguia.

electronic book keeping or something

It's tree blood bro.

What's your opinion about Bosh dishwashers?

Are they good?

He specified Bosch Automotive.

I don't know about Bosh dishwashers, but their fridges are good for killing immigrants.

Wouldn't know

but I get them at a 25% discount

also get bosch power tools at an insane 75% discount under even amazon (and that includes all bosch power tool subsidiaries like dremel)

that means I couldn't be objective even if I owned them

>a course for SAP that teaches you how to take courses via SAP

redundancy 101

>welcome to the neighborhood sadiq I got you a housewarming present

Here we can see the benefits of the British plug and a 220v electric grid.

It was a Hotpoint fridge tho

that was a Hotpoint freezer

Bosch had nothing to do with it

Literally spoilsports.

AS/400 is literally heaven compared to SAP

SAP is like Java there's enough people that know it and that makes it easier to maintain a good enterprise and it architecture.
If you try to do a best of breed approach here you'll just end up with a fragmented architecture, huge integration costs and having to train your employees on 5 different technologies.
SAP is helping you integrating their modules and they have a similar logic behind them. So for most cases it's just the way to go.

IBM Lotus Notes its sooooo bad. Makes me miss outlook every second I have to use it.

>train your employees
This is where is always goes wrong. Employers never use SAP much themselves and highly underestimate the complexities of it. I've seen it implemented and staff given a day or two of training only to be told to iron out the problems amongst themselves.

SAP works, but it's users need the proper training. Which they are almost always never given.

>spoilsports
I'm not a corporate apologetic but that joke just really doesn't work if it's not true

Study information systems. I literally had 3 courses learning how to use and customize it for specific business processes.

Easy, but Russia-specific:
1C

The company I work for, which is the 2nd largest retailer in my country uses SAP and it is literally cancer. Employees are forced to use the SuccessFactors website and for whatever reason Google+ social networking.

Everything is run on the back end by India and there hasn't been a day go by without some kind of SAP outage or SF stuff up that's caused staff in store or at a State or National level to have to waste countless hours on the phones to India trying to get it sorted out.

Inventory management is archaic and the autostocking system is flawed to the tune of millions of dollars worth of "stockloss" yearly, real or due to system errors and we pay them millions in the process to setup and maintain all this garbage. It's a wonder we're turning a profit at all.

Aptean/ROSS

Pile of garbage. Modules barely interact, searches are a pain in the ass, inconsistent keybinds, obtuse navigation, ITEM# field is limited to numerics only so you have to create your own internal part numbers, searches are only an exact match. Documents can only be printed/ exported one at a time, bulk exports throw everything on the same PDF or print file.

Since when did jokes have to be true?

Here's a joke....SAP has the best UI ever created.

Only an autist could fail to understand how a falsehood could be a joke.

>Inventory management is archaic and the autostocking system is flawed to the tune of millions of dollars worth of "stockloss" yearly, real or due to system errors and we pay them millions in the process to setup and maintain all this garbage. It's a wonder we're turning a profit at all.

Hey, but industry 4.0!

No. But it's like taking the Nvidia Fermi housefire joke and applying it to something that's not a housefire at all, like, idk, Sandy Bridge.

That joke, while exaggerated - I don't think there was any actual event of a housefire caused by Fermi, works because Fermi was fucking hot.
Sandy Bridge is just pretty boring in terms of heat output which makes the whole joke pretty boring in return.

is major here, halfway through my courses. we briefly covered something but a package was missing so we couldn't complete the assignment.

You don't know shit about proprietary shitware.

>every school that has this also has a group dedicated to get the school to drop it
>based on IE
>crashes all the time in the middle of tests you can't take again
>school administrators will never ever use it even once
>does all this even if you use the school computers
>ruins your copy of windows
>defeated in 10 seconds anyway by just having someone else with you with the test, having another laptop, using your phone etc.
>only thing that works inside it is its ability to detect if it's running in a VM or WINE