Tell my mum i have a small penis

>tell my mum i have a small penis
>she says who cares it gets bigger when erect

haha xD

lol

Haha!!

implying your dad has a small penis too.

Offer to try it out with her
Or are you worried she'll find that you're a disappointment as a lover as well as a son

>tfw i'll never know this feel

sorry about that, friend :^)

Once I was fapping to an underwear magazine in the bathroom and my mom entered to get something and I tried to hide my boner by sitting down on the toilet and pushing it down but the magazine laid right where she went and she 100% saw it and my boner and omg why didn't she just leave why would she come inside the room when she sees me with pants down why

Is your mom a milf?

Why didn't you lock the door you mong?

Why would you tell your mom about that?

>Not locking the door
Basic mistake famalam.

>why would she come inside the room when she sees me with pants down why
I know that feel, when I'm in the bathroom or in my room she doesn't ask if she can get in or not, she just does it and we have 4 bathrooms wtf mom.

haha australia for the win we did it again haha xD suck it canada!

>not telling your mum everything

>not locking doors when you go to the restroom

get it together schneider

dont you have fucking locks

I wonder this also he must of otherwise how do I have this curse my mum must be stupid she doesn't know what small is haha.

No my father hided the keys years ago after my little brother couldn't get out. Now he doesn't remember where they are.

>keys for restroom door

I have the same kind of door in every room of my home with the exeption of the ones that let you get in/out of the house.

>getting btfo by your own mum
Australian banter is unreal

>tell my mum i have a small penis
>she tells me it's time for the talk
>says sometimes when a man and women love each other, they express that love to each other in certain ways
>says sometimes when a man can't love a women enough, there are other ways to make sure the women gets enough love

My sister came in and interrupted the conversation but she says she'll finish explaining later.

>First time have sex
>She says oh you're so big
>
>I think she was lying

How can you "get the talk" after 18 yo?

It's the canadian cuck talk, he was already 18+ when they let weedman pass a law making it mandatory.

>mfw she introduces you to her syrian bull and says she can share him with your gf/wife

And you're what? Average?

>above average dick
>no use for it
Is this supposed to be any better?

Yes you retard, assuming you aren't a manlet either, the only things stopping you from finding an opportunity to use your penis can be changed.

yeah maybe i don't know

>There are posters in this thread with penises less than 19cm long
Out out, midgets

>average penis
>permavirgin anyway

I never got the talk, one day when I was 12 my dad my dad just said "we don't need to have the talk, right?" and I said, "no, we don't".

Prove you have a 19cm cock.

>assuming you aren't a manlet
About that..

Same, one day I was like 14 and my dad said "user do you know how to make children right?" "Y-yes" "ok".

My mom taught me by example after I turned 18.

What did she say?

I haven't sent a person pictures of it in 2 years.
Its not even that much above average lmao
Is it really not believable?

>Be in college on summer break
>Come home for the summer like I did every year
>It gets hot as fuck in the summer
>We only have one air conditioner for the house
>Sleep downstairs because it's hot as balls
>Sleep on the sofa in a pair of boxers and a shirt
>Hear my mom yell "user!" at me in the morning
>My dick has slipped out of my boxers and I have morning wood
>mfw my mom saw my erect penis

true story

I haven't shown anyone in 2 years, but is it really not that believable?
Its not even that much above average

It seems like you can't prove it user.

Mine is 25cm when fully erect. Here it is flaccid. Jelly?

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Did u cut ur nob off?

I can't tell what the hell your pic related is?
A cock for trans?

What the actual fuck is this shit???!!!

but i'd get banned if i did...

fucking underage newfags please kill yourself you can easily reset your modem and delete browser history to get unbanned.

Looks fake, you can't have hairs on the tip of the penis.

bend over

She probably was. Also, don't forget that anove average =/= big. I'm above average but that doesn't mean I'm irregularly big or some shit. I don't know why girls say that. It's like, bitch idgaf if you think I'm big I'm already fucking you. Makes no difference to me

>He doesnt understand australian ISP's
fucking underage newfag please kill yourself

Your mom sees my erect penis every day

Become a smooth sissy Finnish boi.

Why are canadians so gay?

jesus christ

>She never talked to me again
s-she was just a loose cunt bitch anyway!

Yeah, it's a tranny dick

I'm a skinny transgirl and my dick is probably bigger than yours.

Why would you tell your mom you have a small penis? What the fuck?

You just don't understand Australian culture

You're literally mentally insane though.

why didn't she make your penis big?

I hate my dad so much there is no way my mum married a guy with a 4 inch penis right he must have been bigger then me.

what you need to realize is that it's no big deal

penis size is like 1/1000 a consideration in a relationship there's so much other stuff that matters more

it's rather juvenline to be so focused on your dick size, get over it

just learn to accept yourself as you are and others will, too

Thanks Swedebro it's hard not to let it bother me though.

Because it's fun

Or save 10000-12000$ and make it bigger.

How there is no legit way to make it bigger nothing works.

Surgeons can make it 3-5cm longer and 30%-40% larger.

What

Sane enough to admit I'm male and have society and my cis friends consider me a girl anyways

It's a female-to-male tranny dick.

that's just pieces of leg pretending to be a dick. I mean it still has hairs and pores on it.

I'm Greek

The vagina is lower on the human body than were the penis would be. Someone had theirs placed in the right spot, hairs and pores and all.

>be 13 yr old
>"dad what is secks?"
>"you put what you got between your legs into what a girl has between hers"
>"really?"
>next day, he buys a porn mag
>"see user?"
>"t-thanks dad"

dat european talk

tits and dick or gtfo

I've looked it up here in Sydney where I live I don't think a surgery like this is even done in Australia.

Then go to America or Europe.