Put java on resume

>put java on resume
>get hired
>only know basic java stuff and company's systems are complex as hell
>paranoid they'll see me searching "how to compare strings java" and "what does static mean"

woah man at least you landed the job

Just read up on shit during your downtime while they are still training you.

Dumb frogposter

Just Google "Java string class"

>searching "how to compare strings java" and "what does static mean"
Holy shit kill yourself. I can't fucking believe stupid shits like you somehow land jobs.

There is nothing wrong with looking things up on the job, Rather do a good job then do a shitty job just because you want to look l44t

This, I still to this day google how to align a div in a div with css.

This, it's actually the norm.

Someone did a survey of programming related search queries during office hours vs off hours. Granted the survey was actually to gauge what languages are being used, there are enough queries for a multitude of languages to prove that that's just how most workers in the industry do.

lmao same same

>be wannabe hackerman
>Get hired
>Not actually hackerman
>OH NO WHAT DO I DO!?

You fucking kill yourself is what you do.

How stupid are you, OP never wanted to be a hackerman he simply just wanted a job.
Where's your Job at?

just google that shit or hire a pajeet on upwork to help you out.

I live in a country with opposite situation

>get ccna, no one accepts me
>get mcsa, still no one accepts me
>learn basic c#, still no one accepts me
>learning linux now, to increase chances

FUCK THIS SHIT

Yo, use startpage.

Misleading information on one's application is grounds for immediate dismissal, user.

You better google as much as you can, because the odds of getting fired for looking up information are much lower than the odds of getting fired for not producing a finished product

He's probably just being tasked with maintaining code.

Also, for fucks sake, use DuckDuckGo or Searx with HTTPS and your employer won't be seeing the keywords you search for.

Buy and bring in a large Java reference book or two (e.g. Java - The Complete Reference or the combined OCA/OCP Study Guide) that covers everything from the basics to advanced topics. Use them liberally until you are no longer a dumbass. No one will think anything of it so long as you're not bringing in fucking Java for Dummies.

Yeah I was in a similar situation, spouted OOP buzzwords in the interview and got hired because of it. Big companies are fairly retard proof, you'll get it eventually.
Really makes you wonder how autistic people like must be to bomb the interview so hard they don't get the job despite all their "knowledge."

I do shit like that all the time. Even the senior devs tell me to google fucking everything, no one gives a shit.

Don't worry I had 5 years as developer,but still search for syntax select,insert,update,delete of SQL, meanwhile still remember graph and string algoritms.

lol

Nobody likes a pajeet user. Plus you know like the basics of a lot of stuff which makes you useless to pretty much everyone.

Wtf is a string algorithm?

you got the job. fake it till you make it and godspeed.

>fake it till you make it
I really like this sentence.

I have cppreference open constantly

don't worry OP you will be able to smoothly transition after few weeks

programming jobs are overrated
most of the programming team are bad teams

did you lie about being an expert in java?
a lot of *enterprise employers hire people who know maybe basic scripting and train them themselves
you'll get the hang of it in a few weeks to a month and will be an expert in a few years.

I wish I could get hired for the few things I know, let alone something I don't know at all

Should I just say I have 5 years of experience in every language and hope no one asks a whiteboard question?

>put various PHP frameworks on my resume
>don't know any of them
>land the job
>everything seems like gobbledigook
>no idea what I'm doing
>literally walk away three days in because of extreme anxiety attacks
>never hear of them again
>they knew

IF they see searches like 'how to do x in java' they at least know you're doing your job.

How stupid are you? Do you not have a sense of humour? I actually lullzed at his post

If they tell you to invert a binary tree then you're fucked lmao

lol

You are so monumentally stupid that you mistake language syntax knowledge for computer programming competency. Dunning Kruger effect right here Sup Forumsentlemen.

It's like people don't think that professional writers use thesauruses and dictionaries.

I am not going to waste my time and neural pathways memorizing syntax. That is what documentation is for.

cd..
cd..
cd ..
cd ..

If they needed you to have lots of experience in Java, they would have asked several technical questions related to it, asked more details. If they didn't, they probably though you could learn what you're missing on the job, but that at least you knew some basics. They won't think you're senior in something you don't have specific professional experience in.

So like most Pajeets?

In any real scenario you would be using libraries with a function for that. However, even if you didn't inverting binary trees is about the algorithm and not the language.

>If they needed you to have lots of experience in Java, they would have asked several technical questions related to it, asked more details.
Probably not. HR is usually even more incompetent than the people they hire for other positions.

...

Sure not knowing how string are compared in java does not imply that you are incompetent programmer.
It does imply lack of experience with java, which might be assumed for java programmer job. Then again maybe the working place will teach him but then OP would not be so afraid.

I doubt OP knows many other programming languages.

Syntax is fucking easy to memorize in 90% of languages, it's libraries that are the problem.
Like Java's I/O libraries, they're a fucking nightmare. I don't blame anyone for googling that shit.

Rich Evans is so fucking fat that I thought his legs were grossed in this photo for years

Do you guys enjoy C# or Java more?

C# only works on a botnet and mono is a meme
So Java is the only option left

They are both very similar in syntax, C# delegates are more flexible tho.

Learn FlexBox or CSS Grid, you asstwat

He is fat but the reason they looked crossed was because of his jeans

I think you can program with C# on linux now m8 and .net is now open source

That's why he got a job and you didn't

>Misleading information on one's application is grounds for immediate dismissal

lmao, you'll never get a job if you actually believe this

What kind of stuff did you say to get the job. I'm a fucking retard when it comes to interviews.

don't say "5 years" just put "experience in java/python/whatever"

If you leave it vague you can get away with it in the interview, if you say 5 years and you can't answer a simple question you won't get hired.

>lmao, you'll never get a job if you actually believe this
Not the guy you are responding to, but I have a jo and a couple of years ago we hired a new guy with an impressive CV. It was quickly discovered that he couldn't program for shit, as he had difficulties understanding simple network concepts such as "this code runs on the client" and "this code runs on the server". After me and some colleagues complained to the higher-ups, they did some investigating and suddenly the guy just didn't show up at work. Turned out he had lied on his CV and faked a bunch of references and he was immediately terminated on the spot and reported to the police since falsifying documents are a felony in my country. The trial is due some time early next year, and me and a couple of other devs are going to take two days off to be there and watch it.

I mean faking references is a lot more serious than lying about what language you know.

Lets say I'm on a similar situation but with a c# position

What would you recommend me to read? I'll start next Monday

Also, I would like to refresh oop concepts

Of course, the latter obviously relies on the candidate's own ability to judge and evaluate his own skill, something that is highly subjective.

>Sup Forums is literally filled with Tyrones that lie and exaggerate in order to get a job

O'Reilly is a good starting point

What type of programming will you be doing?
Grab an Oraily book and take it to work, practice when you are home and maybe take some work there.

Last time I touched c# was like 4 years ago, rn it's all blurry on my mind

And I haven't touched oop concepts in a while now, at least on a professional level, I know my shit but my brain is all rusty

Fuck off
They wanted a ASP. NET /c# dev, they asked me a bunch of c# and oop questions, I answered the best I could, still landed it so I guess I didn't do so bad but I want to refresh everything

What the fuck was your interview like? I was in a similar situation like yours only knowing the super basics of certain languages and the one interview I went to they fucking grilled me on 2 of the languages on my resume asking shit you couldn't just spout off buzzwords for. Needless to say I didn't get the job and haven't bothered applying for programming jobs since. Pretty sure I'm too stupid to program.

There are people who lie and exaggerate to get a job and then there are people without jobs. There are also people who got jobs through friends, but those guys are only the majority.

>I know my shit but my brain is all rusty
>"I need to look up elementary stuff because I'm so advanced I forgot"
Sure thing, buddy.

I got all my jobs without lying or without getting it through friends.

Maybe you only need to lie if you don't know your shit.

Go online, invest 8 hours this weekend to complete 3 full fledged tutorials and study the nuance concepts and advanced ones too. That should be enough to unrust you.

You really think using HTTPS and some autist search engine can hide anything on your computer from your employer? It's their computer for christs sake, filled to the brim with monitoring software.

I work for a big company and browse Sup Forums and /r9k/ at work all the time and haven't heard anything. You give too much credit to sysadmins m8, 99% of them have no idea what they're doing.

HR people are usually retarded so you have to lie to get ahead

>I'm too stupid to program
You just need practice. Think of some project and work on it.

I'm gonna start lying on my applications.
SEC +, C++, C#, Java, JS. I know and have it all from here on out.

I very rarely have to look up libraries or syntax outside my IDE unless it's something I've never done before. Otherwise I just use intellisense to explore namespaces and read docstrings to refresh my memory. 99% of the time this gives enough information to get the job done.
Some completely new shit, sure: I'll probably read a stack overflow thread or two to make sure I'm not reinventing the wheel or missing some gotcha of the framework.

t. C# dev

What country is it illegal to lie on your resume?

Norway. Since it's so costly to fire people here due to exceptionally strong worker's rights, it's considered fraud to lie on your CV.

I'm not talking just padding your CV with shit though, it's more when you fake a degree and fake references, and stuff like that.

>>>paranoid they'll see me searching "how to compare strings java" and "what does static mean"

Meh nobody knows how fucking java works

>reported to the police since falsifying documents are a felony in my country

lol, what a shit country.

It's in Europe

>yourope
>certs

You have to have a degree in western yourope. Certs are a bonus if you already have one.

LOL. He deserves it

...

this

i had one bitch tell me like 20 times in a row they are looking for someone with x experience and i said "yes i do" each time. By the time our convo was over i didnt even want this job anymore

Tfw imposter syndrome

So what. If they didn't check your skills at the interviews it's on them. You know Java, you never said how much.

And you compare strings by converting them both to an array of chars, then write a loop that checks them against each other. EZPZ!

>not using compareTo

Could not agree more. People always complain about people getting hired because they know someone. However, they fail to forget that department heads typically rather pull someone in that's been vetted by another employee because HR produces absolute shit candidates.