You have to connect to the internet to squeeze fucking juice

>you have to connect to the internet to squeeze fucking juice

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motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/xykkkd/why-american-farmers-are-hacking-their-tractors-with-ukrainian-firmware
youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
youtube.com/watch?v=9IKVj4l5GU4
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Embedded shills on suicide watch

Internet of Things

Juicero is to the tech world what Tesla is to the car world

>you can get just as much juice by squeezing the pack yourself

delet this

botnet juice is better goy

Not really even close

Juicero is like the John Deere of juicers:

motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/xykkkd/why-american-farmers-are-hacking-their-tractors-with-ukrainian-firmware

>will only accept juicero brand bags
>Your data is sold to show you other flavors
>Must create an insecure account and link it to the internet
>Needs proprietary software to work
>Or just squeeze the fucking bag

>not spending $400 on juice
What's the matter, poor?

>four tons of pressure for something that can be squeezed by hand

wasn't juicing complete discredited like decades ago?

everyone involved in that scam deserved to get fucked

Why the fuck do tractors have complex firmware. Why isn't it just an engine?

Because farming is much more than that today. The type of tractors john deere makes is literally automated, it does harvesting on its own, it does seeding on its own through a GPS grid. quarter of a million to Half a million dollar tractors we're talking about.

Also some farmers buy john deere because, muh green tractor. This isn't exactly apple vs android. These farmers have a choice, they chose Deere.

Watching the teardown of this piece of shit gave me more facepalms than anything I have ever seen before in my life. They just fucking threw money at this thing until it materialized from nothing. Solid machined aluminum frame, highest quality injection molded exterior with overmolded rubber, a gear drive that would make most power tools blush.

All they had to do is put in a little bladder and a small air pump like a 12v tire inflator and it would produce more than enough force to crush anything.

> These farmers have a choice

remember the old ipods? there was "choice" but the best thing to do was to jailbreak an ipod

They want to charge you top dollar to repair it and they don't want you to fix it yourself

>These farmers have a choice
Do they have alternatives for automated tractors ?

The juice tastes better that way.

Yes, many.
They continue to buy John Deere tractors though because it's a status thing, not because JD makes superior tractors.

>All they had to do is put in a little bladder and a small air pump like a 12v tire inflator and it would produce more than enough force to crush anything.
then a few of these things would explode and that would be the end of the company

These are both true.

New gear brings a lot more to the process than old methods and techniques, but there is a service model in charging owners for maintenance and repairs.

>New gear brings a lot more to the process than old methods and techniques, but there is a service model in charging owners for maintenance and repairs.

But that is a choice the consumer makes. Just like with everything else, I don't know enough to say John Deere makes the best shit out there, it may be true it may not. If you however told me "OMG u guise Apple is the shit, iphones for everyone" first I'd say get out of here fagguete, second you had a choice between Apple and others, you chose what best suited you which means Android for whatever reason did not suit your needs. That is the choice you made.

Later on, if a new ios update comes out and they dont update your phone, that is a deviation from the company history and you'd have every right to complain even though updates are not guaranteed, its implicit because of company history, not that you as a consumer would have to know that.

But, a $500 phone is a completely different sport from buying a $250000k tractor, you better fucking know what the history of service that company has before you finance a tractor to do a business that is literally dependent on the fucking weather.

you need to own the machine and buy it straight from them.
They could have sold the packets in stores and made a killing with the gimmick of having to FRESH SQUEEZE it yourself, but no, they're a fucking tech company and wanted a gadget to do it.

>They could have sold the packets in stores

Dude.. multi million dollar companies make brand new product every year and 3 out of 4 fail flat on their fucking face. Those packets by mail delivery costing $6 right now after the fiasco, imagine how much they wanted to charge previously. But nevermind all that shit.

The very fact their website is still up, advertising new flavors, means there is something very wrong with the current state of the economy. They are even hiring people for gods sake. There's something very wrong with Juicero and Blue Apron, and Tesla, and others, make absolutely zero profits and yet somehow are still in business.

Internet of Informants is closer to the truth, user.

Everything is working as it should, you've got it wrong. They don't want money, they want influence. You can make money from the influence.

That's a bad analogy. They were trying to be the Netflix of juice.

Someone on YT did a teardown of those machines and they were literally losing hundreds of dollars on each one of them sold - there's no way based on the way it was built that they were turning a profit for the price they were selling them for.

They wanted to make all the money with the mandatory subscription service for those fucking juice packets.

>That's a bad analogy. They were trying to be the Netflix of juice.

Netflix actually makes money user

>They were *trying* to be the Netflix of juice.

WTF what's inside those machines?? How fucking hard is it to squeeze a juice packet? I can understand a barcode reader and wifi connector maybe a raspberry Pi inside but what the fuck does it have inside to make it so expensive?

Blue apron is doing well user I own their stock

As a matter of fact they're doing so well that several copycats like Freshfood are popping up

youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

basically, the whole chassis is milled from a single block of aluminium (very wasteful)
the entire plastic case is one solid molded piece (very expensive to pull off)
all the gears are machined and the level of quality doesn't match their intended use at all

>Blue apron is doing well user I own their stock

You can't be serious user. There is no way that company will exist within 10 years. Who the fuck is buying this horse shit??? Its literally cheaper to go to a corner restaurant. The food is grocery store shelf tier with fancier names. I didn't know they had gone public.

basically, 25-30 year old millenials who suddenly come into money and still don't know how to cook
this market isn't going to last very long, most millennials still don't know how to cook but things are going to get much much worse before they get better

Retards will buy anything.

I swear, given some years fucking knapping will require an internet connection.

>25-30 year old millenials who suddenly come into money

thats exactly the bit I don't understand with these companies. I am poor as fuck, and most people I know across the US are poor as fuck, and the ones who aren't and can't cook, would rather go to a fucking restaurant other than paying the same price as and having to cook it yourself.

I dont know any 25 to 30 olds who have money to spare.

>I didn't know they had gone public.
Because many YouTubers advertise it.

>that green shit
youtube.com/watch?v=9IKVj4l5GU4

Soylent green is people!

they literally cut up the fruits and put it in that bag

you can squeeze it with your own hand and then cut the bag and compost the shit in the bag

somehow they managed to make robot to squeeze it for you

its like the entry level python 101 class in university where they get you to code some stupid shit and people 'innovated' from there to make stupid shit

They didn't really come into money

They got a gig with google via venture capitalism. Basically a company invests in your company usually by buying a little more than half your company's assets. This gives them ownership over the product and your company. They fund your endeavor and if you're successful they make money because they own more than 50% your shit. If your company fails, they'll dissolve and sell the idea as a loss.

Non-fast food chains that aren't regular restaurants are making a killing from millenials

Extremely well made internal and external parts, fucking powerful gearing, overly complex sensor array to operate the whole thing.

It's like if you designed the modern aeroplane for the sole purpose of pulling a kite. Honestly it's admirable and built to fucking last, because holy hell all it does is gently squeeze a bag of factory reject jew DRM fruit waste.

Maybe you miss understood my post. I understand how VC works in general user. What I meant to say on my answer is... I don't know any 25 to 30 year olds who would spend their money on blue apron services, yeah i know the whole anecdote is not data, I googled and they apparently did 1 billion in sales(wtf) that can't be totally right can it? anyway It's not my motherfucking money. Last time I had looked it up, about maybe a year ago, there were no numbers made public on sales or profits.

They've got it ass-backwards

The idea is to make a cheap razor and sell expensive blades for it

They're making a razor handle out of titanium alloy covered in gold

then there are stories like this

> motherjones com/environment/2016/10/half-meal-kit-customers-bolt-after-free-offer-runs-out/

Is this an american thing?
How the fuck do you get to 20 and not know how to cook decent food?

Someone told me that american college dorms don't allow you to have stoves, hotplates or anything with a heating element in order to infantialize you forever and keep you dependent on their forced prepaid cafeteria meal plans.

>Who the fuck is buying this horse shit??? Its literally cheaper to go to a corner restaurant
I've honestly been tempted to buy into these services because I want to cook new things and never get around to doing it, even to a point of forgetting I've bought certain ingredients which have gone off and having a pre-loaded box of stuff and recipes sounds neat.

But yeah the price of them is silly.

>Someone told me that american college dorms don't allow you to have stoves, hotplates or anything with a heating element in order to infantialize you forever and keep you dependent on their forced prepaid cafeteria meal plans.

That was someones ideology. They don't allow you hotplates or things of that sort because it is a liability/fire hazard/insurance won't allow it thing. And to be honest, knowing american teenagers, that is a hell of a good idea.
>How the fuck do you get to 20 and not know how to cook decent food?
Don't start with that shit. That is pretty standard world around, not just in america, its a side effect from urbanization.

You don't have to give up your 51% if the product is already making money. Biggest mistake of most startup entrepreneurs is they take money blindly then get screwed when dividend payout time comes along. You get an OK product to market with the minimum amount of costs possible. If it's successful you go to big VC's with your market proven product and they will offer the world for 10 or 15%.

>hidefagging over some juice
The algorithm curating the data doesn't care if cunt sweat is your favorite flavor.

But just think, when Juicero goes under and these things end up on the curbside, they'll be gold mines for tinkerers everywhere.

Yeah, and now the dumb faggots have huge debts that they will never pay off. When the tread on their tires wear off, they just go and get a bigger debt on a new tractors since 4 new on a tractor with duals will cause maybe $10,000-$20,000 depending on what size of tires.

They're literally like ancient roman farmers and will in part cause the failure of the US.

>Internet of Things
that shouldn't be on the internet

Why does this buzzword specifically, make me mad? I can handle "big data", etc. but this one is unacceptable, it feels so fucking lazy, lame, and unprofessional to be used in production.
>what do we call this type of product?
>>fuck I don't know, Bunch-o-things lmao
Fucking "smart-X" and "iX" were dumb but I'd take that over this nonsense.

>Yeah, and now the dumb faggots have huge debts that they will never pay off.
how do you think they get huge debts? these farmers have millions in land

>what type of name can we use to make anyone who hears it laugh their asses off

>JUICERO

Better than Joo5-O-Matix 7000

Explode how? Bike tires are inflated to 24 psi, car tires to 30. Basketballs, air mattresses, fuck even balloons. Your god damned soft drinks are pressurized. I'm talking about a bladder the size of a postage envelope, even if it leaks it would depressurize immediately because it's too small.

Fuck I tire of you uneducated retards sometimes.