Come to Poland

>come to Poland
>it's eastern part of country called Podlasie
>unfortunately your uncle lives there
>get off the plane in Warsaw, nothing special there, city looks poor but comfy
>your train arrives
>3 hours of boredom, fields on the left, forest on the right
>the train stops suddenly
>hear some strange noises, like something knocking in passenger car
>look outside
>some wild looking people are shooting arrows in the train
>conductor takes out his lighter and wave it around
>savage creatures are running away scared
>i asked him what the fuck just happend
>"everything is under control, Podlasie is near"
>it was broad daylight, of the remaining passengers no one gave a single fuck

WHY DIDN'T YOU INVEST IN EASTERN POLAND?

>3 hours of boredom
It's not true at least for me, because I was really surprised that women started to bite an apple on the train.

you laugh and I laugh is not

> Living in a small village in Podlasie
> I come from a rather poor family - there is extreme poverty, but rich, there is no
> Keep one computer for the whole family
> For your hard earned money to buy a microphone with headphones
> Start playing in Tibi sit on tsie or another Ventrilo
> Time to time you see the glass in the door silhouette sister, sisters, and then we
> Whispering something under his breath
> Keep wyjebane and continue playing Tibia
> Suddenly the room stabs mother, sister and the priest with a cross in one paw and the incense in the second
> Trio pulls you out of the chair, puts on the table, the priest begins odpierdalać a ritual, waving incense over his head
> It turns out that they want you to pull the demon because the whole time I was talking to a computer and actually talked to the people through a microphone on tsie

>I was really surprised that women started to bite an apple on the train
The inner machinations of the Japanese mind are an enigma.

Wtf? Thats normal

Damned Mongols attack again. Gotta get my sword.

> Start the ride poland
> Podlasie territory (25-30lvl) explored, +500 exp
> A small village hut with a straw roof
> Any people you see in the windows looking at you
> Suddenly one jumps out of the hut and yells
> GO BY CEREAL, STANDS IN THE VILLAGE MOSKAL
> Laugh and have wyjebane, go into the village
> Suddenly you see a puppet or another scarecrow
> Zajeb him kick
> Puppet overturned
> People jump out of the chat and run on your site
> We all start dancing and odpierdalać wild frolics
> The mayor says that the knight on a strange steed defeated the Russians and that we celebrate
> Stay on the feast
> Dick in poverty, miserable watery porridge and rotten eggs

>I was really surprised that women started to bite an apple on the train
nothing can beat the smell of a egg&sausage sandwich

It's like going to Africa.

an apple is a symbol of fertility, she was clearly trying to seduce you, no wonder Japanese birth rates are in decline

...?

I feel like I'm having a stroke reading this thread.

>you arrived at village called Psiamać
>there are dogs everywhere, barking like crazy
>it feels like there is more dogs than people
>i started walking around, looking for some bus station or taxi
>see little boy walking in the street
>suddenly he stopped under the church, central building in the village
>he started to look around, then pulled his pants off and begin to take a shit
>nope
>when he finished a dog came by and ate his dump
>nope nope
>still no sign of vehicles around
>on your way back to the station see a man banging another dog
>bunch of other dogs waits for their turn behind him

Well, I'm appointed by the Ministry of Culture for this to assimilate people from the Podlasie region with the rest of the country. I go to the villages and sell a variety of goods, I let the music and slowly shows them blessings.

> Village 1
> Hut with shit, people look more like monkeys than humans, hairy, withdrawn face
> Chief of their village as the only says
> WE DO NOT EAT YOU EAT?
> Comes here, they do not have food and they ask if I
> Shows them potatoes
> APPLES
> I say, it's not apples only potatoes that you have to cook, bake or fry the raw are unhealthy
> People so wyjebane and wpierdalają all my potatoes raw
> The other day the whole village died because their stomachs were not used to raw potatoes

> Another village, Grzybiwór Dolny (Mushroombag Lower)
> Primitive village, but know how to talk and understand something, do not be frightened at the sight of the car
> Try their make cultural, let go of the classical music
> Once keep a fairly Bach and other Chopins
> Let them Danzel Pump It Up
> People are caught in the moment, dancing, singing, fun was not the end
> Wykurw there, back after a week
> Headman of the village make himself on Danzel - only his hair that was so small beard the mouth as it Danzel, hair hedgehog set to saliva cows, even bought me cheesy glasses to become like Danzel
> The mayor said it is no longer only Grzybiwór Dolny DONCIUNOŁPAMPERAP, and the mayor named JUGACIUPAMPERAP and told each other so called
> The whole village all the time humming, every night dancing to this song
> That feeling when you have just destroyed a cultural monument which was Grzybiwór Dolny

> Another village
> Quite intelligent people but very religious
> Show them the funny consoles 999999999 in 1, these are such where tetris, some racing, arkanoid
> Napierdalają all those ridiculous consoles
> Explain to them that they are batteries in which the energy is and how it ends is a need to install new batteries
> Consoles and batteries bought from me for some old clothes and their tooth of a village shaman, because it's such a sacred artifact like
> Back after a week
> The center of the village of the great altar
> Shaman just wants to sacrifice a kid
> Ask yourself what's just odpierdala
> Shaman shows a finger on the altar
> This feeling when on the altar of batteries and you idiots want to recharge your batteries with human sacrifices

...

...

>bunch of other dogs waits for their turn behind him

To begin with, eating uncut apple isn't common in japan.

Why the fuck not?
Fucking japs, man. Next you're telling me you use wood sticks to eat stuff.

Constantly doing it through my taxes.

Reminds me of home.

>t.country bumpkin.

kek I love Japan

>uncut apple
Are you mistranslating words here? We all know how much japs love American cock

Eating is ok as long as its nothing greasy/fatty that spills everyhwere

so I can't eat ur mums pussy on the train? Damn, sue me lmao

ayy

Eating isn't allowed in the train especially urban such as Tokyo, unless the train is shinkansen or limited express.
Or finding enough space is harder rather than eating, especially during rush hour.
But it's OK in the train running rural area, some old guys would start a drinking party.

>live in a small village in eastern Poland
>be poor peasant working for local McDonald
>one day old people and dogs start to disappear
>local priest says it's the work of the devil
>village chief calls for help
>a witcher arrives
>discovers that atheist cult has making human sacrifices to Dawkins
>kills all of them
>3 months later it turns out all young women in village are pregnant
>priest say it's the atheists fault
>start going to church every day to pray for god to kill all atheists
>god makes me go bald and GF left her child and disappeared
>fucking atheists

nice google translate brah


last one
>try to call your uncle
>no signal
>there aren't any telephone poles or phone booths or anything around
>people are looking at you like some sort of alien
>want to buy something to drink, go to the nearest shop
>clerk runs away scared when i started talking in english
>sit on a bench, feel like complete loser
>some dirty man comes by, with fork in one hand and primary school english text book in the other
>"YOU MUST WYPIERDALAĆ STĄD KURWA"
>he aims at you with his fork and angry look on his face
>when you run away people are throwing at you random things
>barely escape alive
>after long walk through the night finally reach civilization
>must sell my iphone because my wallet fell of when i was running away

and that's the whole story

Podlasica means weasel where I come from, so I always think of Podlasie as weasel-land.

It literally means Underwood/s

I know that. I speak a Slavic language after all.