Germans are not allowed to pee standing up

>germans are not allowed to pee standing up

literally CANNOT make this shit up

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theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/aug/21/unthinkable-having-a-sit-down
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>You may not want to know this – and it would be sensible to wait until after breakfast before reading any further – but, apparently, lots of German men nowadays routinely sit down to pee. From quite early on, so it is claimed, German sons are taught that being a Sitzpinkler – translate it yourself – is the done thing and that being a Stehpinkler is simply antisocial.

theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/aug/21/unthinkable-having-a-sit-down

oh my god

it's also forbidden in some enterprises here, you could get fired if they can prove that you peed standing up

>Sitzpinkler

soon it will be law that german men will be the toilet and a woman must piss on them wince being cucked.

fun fact: it's haram in islam to pee standing up

>And a little gadget with a David Cameron voice reminding British men not to raise the seat might prove to be one of the coalition government's more lasting and transformational achievements

memes

>feminists outlaw raising the seat
>just piss all over it instead

They asked for it.

This is some next level cuckoldry

CAN'T

I-its simply etiquette at other peoples places so you dont sprinkle your mate's toilet with your piss!

We still pee like men outside and at home I swear!!!!
Espeacially outside the manliness of the feat is at its greatest because Wildpinkeln is forbidden and can risk you getting fined up to a thousand euros!

I usually sit because i never know if i'll spontaneously get the urge to shit. I have bad gas and sometime i'll feel shit making it's way through my intestines, so it saves time

FUCK OFF
SITZPINKLER IS AN INSULT OVER HERE
JUST LIKE WARMDUSCHER
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Its ok mate, we know you just do it because its comfy in your skirt

p-pls no bully ;_;

>Some toilets have red traffic-style signs forbidding the standing position - but those who choose to sit are often referred to as a "Sitzpinkler", implying it is not masculine behaviour.

>Germans are stopped from standing while peeing by a fucking stop sign

The fuck is warmduscher?

It's quite easy.

You sit down to piss if you're at your own home, because you don't want your bathroom to be dirty.
If you're in a public place or anywhere where you're not the one who has to clean you stand while pissing.

The Nazis literally peed standing up. How dare you?!?

The literal translation would be warmshowerer, so somebody who takes warm showers. It means something like pussy, weak person or soft cunt.

Are you suppose to take a cold shower?

Yes. Cold showers remind us of stalingrad and harden us. That's how we prepare for the 3rd try.

Yes you fucking FAGGOT

shh don't tell em just yet

let's make it a surprise attack, just like the last time. increases our odds of finally taking Europe this time.

Here we're told to "take a cold shower" when we get turned down for sex or have blue balls. Is that why Germans take cold showers?

It's called tough love Hans

>this was the Third Reich less than 100 years ago

really makes you think

I prefer to pee sitting down and I'm not ashamed of it
Who else?

The only time it's acceptable to sit and pee is if you're taking a shit.

fucking kek senpai

You can pee sitting down if you're doing a poo. No need to get up and its fast

>third reich in 1916
>Meme Australian """""""""""""""""education"""""""""""""

You asshole I WAS GOING TO MAKE THIS THREAD
These (You)s were going to be MINE

Just remember to ask mama Merkel for you balls back before you go out to fight, ubermensch.

You used to be badass, now you let filthy arabs rape your women and you let feminazis educate your children... what the hell happened mein freunds?

This is true, it's only acceptable to sit down and piss if you're shitting.

I do it occasionally, as like a little treat.

>less than
Halt die Fresse Mois

>german mathematics

This is the most retarded shit I've read in a while, I didn't know Germans had these gender identity issues.
How about you learn to piss right into the fucking thing? If you don't have a shrimp down there you should be able to direct your piss just fine. There's no need to urinate in the whole fucking bathroom.

Holy Jesus

Pretty much this

German toilets splash a lot because of le poop self.

Self-hatred happened. I see you Mexibros are headed the same way, don't let it get that far.

>it's another let's ridicule Germany thread

I can't take this anymore
What are my chances of fucking off to Wales before the whole Brexit thing goes through

Mexico has always hated itself. Most mexis believe themselves to be conquered indians when in fact they should be proud to be descended from Spanish conquerors. They have poor self-image because of this.

But yes, we are having some problems with feminazis.. fortunately a lot of us are fighting back, many women in particular.

Don't get your panties in a twist mate

Basement dweller who don't have to clean there own bathroom want to tell me what is "masculine" and whats not.
also, if you have to define your sexuality the way you piss.. well.. nothing I would be proud of.

>"Groß"Britannien

Alter, bist du Hahnrei?

cuck

t. sitzpinkler

I always piss all over the seat desu

t. Hahnrei der von seiner Freundin nicht mehr bekocht wird wenn er nicht brav den Toilettensitz hochklappt

>German reading """""""""""""""comprehension""""""""""""""""""""

The problem is that you are not choosing wether to stand up or sit down, your government is telling you how to take a piss. It's Orwell's nightmare. You are not free to take a piss however you see fit.

This is the problem mate.

You had me google what's this poop speciality of your toilets...
Man, it's embarassing. Do you like to inspect your faeces? I knew that many Germans were into scat, but this is too much zealous

>Germans in charge of aiming

No wonder you lost 2 world wars wew lad

ahahahah oh god ahahahahah you keep your feces in the shelf ahahahahahah

Enjoy NRW Kevin, I'm leaving the sinking ship.

Also fuck off back /deutsch/


Our aim was p good, those V2 were an abject failure though.
Should have just nuked the poms

So, for real, not trying to bully you or anything..

Germans are taught from childhood that they are bad, or should feel bad because of the past?
Do they tell you that you are bad for being white, heterosexual, male?

wtf
both the german and the american one are retarded
proud to be a british pooper
also all of you fuckers itt use toilet paper instead of bidets
how gross

AHAHHA POOP XD

NRW isn't that bad, if you get along with some Alis and Igors. Do you really think GB is any better? What you're looking for is probably something like Switzerland or denmark.

Yeah, that's the gist of it. They beat the patriotism out of us from about 14 or so on. That has caused some resistance though, a good number of Germans are pissed.

Straight-shaming is not a thing here though, it all stems from WW2 and the Holocaust

>NRW isn't that bad

Do you live in a bubble or something? You must not live in Köln, Dortmund or any of the major cities then. Also, Wales doesn't look so bad at all.

>It's a design oddity so disturbing that American author Erica Jong saw fit to remark on it in her 1973 erotic novel "Fear of Flying."
>She writes: "Just go into any German toilet and you'll find a fixture unlike any other in the world. It has a cute little porcelain platform for the shit to fall on so you can inspect it before it whirls off into the watery abyss, and there is, in fact, no water in the toilet until you flush it. As a result German toilets have the strongest shit smell of any toilets anywhere."

ahahahahahah why Germans are so Germans

I hear the right is getting stronger in Europe. Good.
Patriotism and appreciating your culture is always good. Hopefully you guys will be able to bring german patriotism back.

>he doesn't get high on the smell of his shit

All you non-Jenkem plebs can fuck right off

Hmmmm......revive being a Nazi or become a pussy.....hard choice there. Guess that still makes you a nazi

I live in cologne, of course it's not great but there are worse places. The state is broke, to many muzzies and stuff like that blm shit they organized is retarded, but I'd rather stay here than going to the country where the banned assault spoons and had stuff like Rotherham, 7/7 etc.

Better a cold shower than die.

No, the only way to shit like a man does is standing up

>be living in dorms
>full of international students in my flat
>make a facebook chat thing
>German guy starts complaining that there is piss on the floor and insists we all sit down to pee
>me and the other guys meet
>i ask them if they know what he's talking about
>they say 'no i didn't really see any piss on the floor either'
>i say 'i think he just prefers the idea of us sitting, must be some german thing, i know they're a bit weird on the continent'
>read this thread
>mfw

A cold shower twice a week? Euros have told me they don't like to shower everyday because it damages the hair or something?

Jesus christ, BLM in Köln? I had no idea. I'm from rural Bavaria so I guess I'm a bit isolated in that regard

what did he mean by this

Why do Germans love poop so much? Is this why you want thousands of refugees?

>HAHAHA GERMAN MEN AREN'T DISGUSTING LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA
Grow up children.

I shower cold literally every morning. It wakes me up desu, sure beats a caffeine crash

Naw mate shampoo damage the hair a shower's fine

peeing sitting down is bad for the prostate
inspecting your poo whilst satisfying in practice (I've lived in a shit-shelf country and I sorta miss the practice) is stupid

So what's the official best peeing position?

then his mum came to visit with her girlfriend

Is it easy to move to Mexico? It's my plan B.

I should be a doctor in about three years, is there a demand for that profession over there?

We just provide scat to satisfy British autism. Look it up, they're by far the most avid customers of that kinda stuff.

>BLM
>Germany

for what fucking reason
to protect the huge african-german community
to shame germany for their long history of participating in the atlantic slave trade
to protest the vile german government for not apologizing for their colonial history

oh wait none of those things are applicable except the last one, and only barely.

how the fuck did they even get over there

Standing grasping the tip of your willy with one hand so you never miss. Don't grab the base.

Handstand

We have BLM too, thanks a lot America.

>he loves pee stains on his toilet seat at home

What is up with the british obsession of toilets? Do you get a trauma everytime you have to go to one your shitplaces?

You gotta go back.

The university or the fh organized shit like this. You'll get used to it sooner or later. I don't expect that it'll become much better, but maybe 2017s elections will bring at least a little change.

But what if your nose is longer than your benis and you hit the nose?

I think it is easy.

Stay CLEAR off the North or the South of the country. Center is where you want to be. I live in a small city called Aguascalientes. It's won awards for progress, and living standards very peaceful, huge "get drunk" fair that lasts a month in April/May. Guadalajara, Jalisco is also nice.

There's many doctors here, but foreigners typically get good jobs.

If you'd like to say something more substantial than that I'm all ears

you have a stinky butt :DDD

Literally what is wrong with that

But isn't the North the richest part? Or is that just narco money?

America your cancer spreads

It IS the richest part, insofar as there's a lot of industry, BUT it's also were most of the narcs are.

Some ausfag came to see his mexigf and thought he'd be fine just driving his van with his friend through northern Mexico. They found them burnt to a crisp in their van. Narcs probably thought they were working for somebody else.

Never heard of that, top kek