Code inspector revokes my programming license for not using std::

>code inspector revokes my programming license for not using std::

>code artisan licence is revoked because I didn't add javadoc comments

>prof berates me for using malloc instead of new

>Code Falcon stole my mouse again

>professor takes 5% off programming test for a missing curly brace

imouto bullies me for not using forth

>get suspended for breaking out of for loop

>neighbor rejects pull request because I didn't comply with PEP8

>suspended for using an anonymous function inside a for loop to capture the i variable for use in callback functions

>systems engineer revokes my job licence for being a stupid fuck brainlet front end """developer"""

>complying with PEP8
I don't see why anyone would do this. Why should I adopt someone else's style?

>sent to the javabean mines for using language features added after 2009

>Convicted of treason for using tabs instead of spaces.

>gf broke up with me because I still use Python 2.7

>programming license

>dad tells me he's ashamed of my for not escaping my strings

>crypto ramsay calls me a donkey for not salting the hash

Something I clearly should be in charge of.

>boss applauds me for not writing my own cryptography

>nephew wants to learn about codebreaking
>write simple program for him demonstrating Caesar cipher
>flagged by compiler as unlicensed cryptosystem
>NSA revokes my programmer pass
>computer reverts to citizen mode, gcc automatically uninstalled, top third of screen given over to advertisements

>futa gf ravages my boypucci for using composition instead of inheritance