Does anyone here have a job?

does anyone here have a job?

Other urls found in this thread:

blog.codinghorror.com/why-cant-programmers-program/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Me.

Sup Forums used to be full of EEs, but now it's just CS monkeys and those working minimal wage at fast food or retail.

I work in publishing, E-Book Departement.

so no then?

behold a butthurt faggot

i work in mcdonalds for fries and nuggets

i mainly watch porn

SharePoint admin
fucking end my life

Got an interview for Java monkey.

Of course. You think I can leech off the government like a parasite for the rest of my life?

Teacher

I hope to have a job next year after getting my associates degree

Where FL did the EEs go?

>associates
you can get a job with those?

Look at this, it's /dpt/ in denial his intro to CS means he isn't a code monkey

Systems engineer at one of the big tech companies. Mostly do devops meme stuff

I'm neither of those things. How does that make you feel?

/DIY or /SCI

Less cs turds more actual discussions.

You can get a job with a high school degree.

t. Highly paid word processor

What's wrong with CS monkeys? (Newfag here)

What's a good part-time programming job? Where can I find such a job while I do my Master's?

Does being a freelance code monkey count as employed?

Enterprise java dev at large company, I feel your pain

I'm a physicist in a position that involves a lot of programming. I make £30k. My best friend dropped out of school and never even made it to university, he's making £110k per year. You don't need any degree to be successful

Tell me about how you find work, please. here.

>/DIY or /SCI
why did reddit send you here?

All they do is just chug out code, but have no idea what the fuck it's doing. Often, they just copy and paste from stackexchange or some other website. Might as well pay a monkey to pound on the keyboard till the program works.

i wait tables and just post on Sup Forums to fantasize about building PCs. i don't even know how to program anything

Nothing, some fags without actual jobs think they're better than everyone else because they can meme harder.
>hurrr x is superior because y is fsggot tier
>durrr no y is superior because you're a fsggot

Sysadmin here, I work with monkeys, hate my job

Bro are you projecting? No one with any kind of degree in programming is this retarded. You're thinking of Wordpress developers.

Code monkeys are worthless and completely replaceable. It doesn't matter if it's some hipster faggot, wordpress faggot, or a pajeet, they're all just monkeys.

Wow you sound like a total faggot with that attitude. If you actually have a job I bet you're a real joy to work with.

I think you're probably butt mad that you thought you were superior to everyone else with your programming skills but now it's becoming apparent that your skills aren't so special. Either that or you're buttmad that you can't find a job writing haskell and you've taken a shit tier job writing basic bitch code and you hate it.

Gumtree, local project boards, and local mailing lists.

desk side support for state govt. Sometimes I get to code or script a solution but typically it's plugging in the loose wires.

You're replaceable too. I don't know why you think you're so special and superior, but the people writing your checks think you're just another monkey too.

Math major, 300k starting pay

If you know what the fuck you're doing and actually make something worth using, you're not a code monkey.

>still in school until I'm 20 because higher education
Theoretically I could already apply for mid to low tier tech jobs, but I hope this higher education pays off

C# developer

>No one with any kind of degree in programming is this retarded.
There are people with CS Degrees who can't solve a fizzbuzz. Don't ask me how they fucking did it but they did.

I work at IBM as a tester for a tape library. I automate the tests after every legacy update.

Have to know a bit about
DevOps
Python testing frameworks
Testing protocols
DB2 database management
The hardware itself

my job is to say "tits or gtfo" when ever needed

This. So glad they move to Azure nowadays.
System admin in a (kinda) large web studio, did some HA solutions on Postgres/MySQL + GlusterFS, sometimes have to deal with Oracle legacy solutions. 99% of all OSes are Linux in LXC/OpenVZ containers. Right now need to set up a BI solutions for our MS Project instance and that thing is FUCKING SLOW despite having 16 gigs of RAM.

I think this is just a meme. I think you might see people with business school tech degrees that can't fizz buzz, but not CS degrees. I don't think you'd find anyone that made it past 200 level classes that couldn't fizz buzz.

not likely.

I'm still here.

Mainly stick to the generals. The rest of the board is consumerist cancer.

Just graduated. Living at home until gf graduates. There are no EE or CE positions around where I live so I'm pulling and terminating data cable. Hoping to get into a sysadmin job soon. Next summer I'll try for another internship, but I'm going back for my PhD.

.NET developer here. Pretty happy with my job t b h.

> t b h
d e s u

I have a job lined up for when I graduate next year.

I've thought about going full M$ enterprise but there is so much to learn i feel like once you are in deep there is no going back

ECE here, I mostly use Sup Forums for memes, rest of time on /sci/

Yeah I thought the same. Then they gave it to one of the other engineer's son. Don't trust that for shit. Apply other to other places. The worst that can happen is you say no. The best that could happen is you find a job that is better/makes more.

Don't make my mistakes.

Literally how lad? I work in a pub and am learning python I don't even know what to do once I've learned it, get an online qualification?

Yeah

What's the appeal of /sci/. I've been there a few times and it looked hella boring.

Mostly stick to Sup Forums, /k/, and Sup Forums. In that order.

B-but I already did an internship with them and signed a contract

>mainly uses pol
>sci is boring
nothing new here I guess
not even him, sci is for real scientists kiddo

Not a meme.

blog.codinghorror.com/why-cant-programmers-program/

I've experienced it first hand (even worse, they've been employed for 10 years).

I actually have a friend who does this for a living. He's employed by a TV company. QA.

[spoiler]Reidar?[/spoiler]

Neh I live the dream exploiting applefags.

even though /sci/ is slower there are just as many shitposts there as here

I have my dream job, I have enough money to realize my dreams, everything is going great.
Why am I still depressed?

i am a "software engineer" at a very very large tech-ish conglomerate. i write java code (spring boot).

i'm about to leave them for a san francisco startup because they're very skilled and will pay me well (plus equity).

ask me anything if you want!

Are you married?
Do you have kids?
Is your penis at least 11 inches?

Oh you have a contract that they will hire you? Well good. You can at least sue if they go back on their word.

Science (which, as opposed to engineering, implies observational science) IS boring. Math is fun.

I do hear they are just as much dumb lefties like /lit/ is. Tell me. What's your opinion on man-made global warming? And have you ever done any environmental science?

no
no
yes
I don't see the relevance though. I am asexual.

Are you depressed about your decision to be asexual?
Who is your favorite actor?

Kek. ECE here. We have annual IEEE programming competitions. They used to invite the CS kids. They don't anymore. CS kids are WORTHLESS.

>my interest is more elite than your interest

This is pathetic

>IT job in my area
30k salary
>IT job where my parents live
60k salary

Free rent, more money.

What does one need to know to get a corporate java job?

Yeah, I'm the one who threw the first stone.

I only write javascript sir.

Cs student, working in a consumer electronic store

I don't think I would be happier if I chose to be straight or gay, I have experimented with women, but it was not for me.
I think my depression is just amplified by success.
I tend to sabotage myself if it goes too well.
>favorite actor
I guess Patric Stewart, but it is not something I feel passionate about.

>implying that all boards he doesn't understand are reddit

Shouldn't you be studying for your cs midterm

how to make as many classes as possible and work with at least 10 tiers of deeply nested ifs

In other words, unemployed

>but I'm going back for my PhD

Please don't. It's pure suffering.

t. PhD sufferer

at a minimum: scrum methodology, spring boot, javascript (maybe a framework like angular as well), html, css, REST principles, probably at least 2-3 years of experience, SQL, NoSQL (mongo)

obviously you don't have to be fantastic with the front end stuff but it helps. you'll rarely find a job that doesn't require any front end.

other stuff that might help: JPA2, lots of spring (the more the better, like spring data and spring security), enterprise integration patterns, activeMQ/JMS, apache spark, apache kafka, apache camel, OAuth2, systems architecture concepts, design patterns, aspect-oriented programming, docker, Azure/AWS

oh and office politics are huge in the corporate world. it's necessary to be able to chat with people and be nice to people who you would otherwise never speak to.

Yea and I am searching for new one. This one sucks: I can browse Sup Forums after 4 PM, but from other hand maybe I shouldn't give a damn like the autist behind me has anime running on one of his monitors for 8h everyday, but I bet he actually does something on the second monitor. Me from other hand.

Yeah I know. I was helping a PhD student do his work my last semester. He may have bit off more than he could chew. He was up and working at 9 and done and heading home around 12 at night.

I wouldn't mind. I'd rather do it now when I'm young.

If an internship counts as a job, then yes, I'm at work right now.

>He was up and working at 9 and done and heading home around 12 at night.

Probably a lot of that "working" time was procrastinating but PhD student life is depressing. At least after your funding runs out and you're still not done.

Being a grad student sucks, it's not exactly fair to compare that salary

Yeah, undergrads would come to him for help a lot. He also spent a good amount of time going over the design with me. I hope I have someone to help me.

As a CE my funding would probably require a computer, maybe an FPGA, and an IDE.

What are you doing that you ran out of funds?

.NET developer

Employed Haskell programmer here :)

> Haskell programmer

cuck cuuck

Testing concurrent systems?

Where are you located, what's your salary, and what are you working on?

>newfag here
Exactly

Normally Ph.D students get a tuition waiver and get paid a stipend, so they can do research full-time and don't need a real job. That's like $100k/year of grant money, per student.

Helpdesk.

Self learning web dev

I work in retail, pays pretty good for a side-job. Iḿ still in school

I work at a large hospital fixing and maintaining any patient side medical equipment. Extremely comfy job honestly. Gives me a lot of time to lurk and shitpost

>go to Indeed
>type Java
>15200 results
>type Haskell
>79 results
>go to TIOBE index to search Haskell's rank
>not even in the top 50 used languages
>lower than fucking assembly and vbs

Ahh, personal funds. I thought you meant research funds.