Developer job postings

>Junior developer
>5+ years production experience

>Ruby on Rails

Apply saying you're ready to get your 5+ years of experience with them.

> Competitive salaries

>Rockstar guru ninja full stack javascript developer

>Software automation engineer
Went to interview, was a QA position

>Go developer position
>Requires 5+ years C and C++ experience

>Males need not apply

>PHP

>get full time internship
>get hired as junior midway through internship
woo boy

what would you consider a competitive salary anyways?

>We're looking for a rockstar!
>Work hard play hard
>anything using the word "synergy"

My first day at this job they introduced me to their in house meme about how they hate ruby..


My response was... Hi I'm name, I'm a former ruby developer nice to meet you.


Followed by explaining Ruby's real horrors that they don't even know about.

>Followed by explaining Ruby's real horrors that they don't even know about.
go on.

>sir I've been with this company for 10 years now
>and?
>and I got an invitation from $OTHER_COMPANY offering me 5% more than what I make here
>lol why don't you go there assfuck?

It's like those "We need 2-3 years experience with Swift" around 1 month after Swift became public.

>job posts in college campus
> you need to know shittons of frameworks
>I still meet the requirements
>ned to be a graduate
>3 years experience
Why the fuck are you even posting in the college campus then?

3 years experience don't MEAN 3 years experience. It's just so that they can go "You don't have enough experience for the job" if you happen to be muslim or are considered a person-non-grata in another way.

Tell us horror stories.

>not knowing that the requirements are a wish list for the optimal candidate
>not applying to every job you think you can do despite not fulfilling every requirement
Enjoy being unemployed

I'll tell you when you're older but it involves runtime class mutation and method_missing

Can we put into place some fucking regulations for advertising higher requirements than the job actually requires? Like if you say you need x years of experience in some task, and you hire someone with x - y years of experience, you just lied to a bunch of potential candidates.

They say it because they only want to hire people with a certain amount of confidence in their skills so that x years of experience is not a problem.

Enjoy getting blacklisted.
The requirements are not negotiable.

>blacklisted.
by whom?

>We use bleeding-edge tech!
You're a JS job posting. Using Redux/Immutable is not bleeding-edge.

>We have a startup culture!
Code phrase for no one can manage a sprint.

Sorry, forgot to add:

>We use bleeding-edge tech!
Piggybacking off open-source and making revenue from it while not allowing your developers to contribute PRs is shit. Fucking die.

>scalable technology
>new paradigm shift