Is there a version of this joke except using different operating systems/software?

Is there a version of this joke except using different operating systems/software?

ITT: we try this

We need to do this with memes not with actual proven things.
I will try:
Heaven is where:
the security is BSD
the portability is Java
the prominence is Windows
the UI is MacOS
the functionality is ... ?

Hell is where:
the security is Java/Windows ?
the prominence is BSD
the UI is Gentoo ?

Heaven is where:
Graphic designers are White
Game developers are Japanese
Hardware manufacturers are Chinese
Coders are Finnish
Tech support is Indian

Hell is where:
Graphic designers are Chinese
Game developers are Indian
Hardware manufacturers are Finnish
Coders are Indian
Tech support is Japanese

>lovers are french
What a shitty meme
French people have made cheating into an art

>Tech support is Indian
>Heaven
what

Heaven is where:
Graphic designers are White
Game developers are White
Hardware manufacturers are White
Coders are White
Tech support is White

Hell is where:
Graphic designers are Indian
Game developers are Indian
Hardware manufacturers are Indian
Coders are Indian
Tech support is Indian

better?

>dubs
what a fag.

Heaven is where:
Graphic designers are Indian
Game developers are Indian
Hardware manufacturers are Indian
Coders are Indian
Tech support is Indian

Hell is where:
Graphic designers are White
Game developers are White
Hardware manufacturers are White
Coders are White
Tech support is White

Sundar Pichai, is that you?

Heaven is where:
it's as fast as Forth
it's as portable as Java
it's as metaprogrammable as Lisp
it's as powerful as C++
it's as flexible as Perl
it's got Python's documentation and community
it's as well-paid as COBOL
it's got Ruby's syntax

Hell is where
It's as fast as Python
It's as minimal as Javascript
It's as portable as COBOL
It's as metaprogrammable as Java
It's as powerful as Ruby
It's as flexible as C++
It's got Forth's documentation and community
It's as well paid as Lisp
It's got Perl's syntax

Hell is where the botnet is NSA

Pretty good.

This is actually pretty accurate

>German engineering
>good

As an Audi owner I disagree completely.

>It's got Perl's syntax
holy fuck

>Police are British

Heaven for criminals.

exactly this.

Lucky dubs of truth

Gay dubs of jewish lies and nothingness hence the 00

he's a pajeet

pretty much this.

Heaven is:
Booting with Libreboot
Kernel is Linux or Redox
Driver support of Windows
License is permissive or copyleft
File system is ZFS
Userspace is GNU or BSD
Package Management is functional
UI is riceable
Font rendering is MacOS

Hell is:
Booting Intel ME, Minix and UEFI
Kernel is XNU
Driver support of Hurd
License is proprietary
File system is FAT
Userspace is DOS
Package manager is Google Play Store
UI is Windows
Font: iPhone X autocorrect

On heaven and hell OP is always a fag.

There's a common joke about Canada on the same pattern:

They could have had American industry, French cuisine, and British culture.

Instead they have French industry, British cuisine, and American culture.

>it's got Python's documentation
>heaven

lol this is a good one

Damn, didn't realize white "people" were infecting this board too.

Change bottom half to women

> XNU
> Hell
Why ?

Britfag here, what is so special about our police exactly?

Our intelligence services are top notch, yes - one of the best in the world, and probably the best in Europe. On a par with the USA I would say. But our police - I don't see what's special at all.

Not him but is known to be difficult to debug. Hence why it works when you only intend to develop it for like 6 computers (Macs)

Police in America are dicks and police elsewhere is often corrupt so I think from an American perspective the police in the UK are comparatively polite and quaint

like what ?

Like what what?

Le frenchies are just smelly faggots.

>the police are British

How the hell is that dinky little thing supposed to chase down an armed robber on the freeway at 90 miles an hour?

Is the JVM even portable?

Heaven is Gentoo

>Hell is where
>It's as flexible as C++

Fucking Leftist.

It's a joke.The police actually spend a sizable amount of money on cars. Focus and Fiestas being their bread and butter, with BMWs filling those uses like armed response and pursuits. There's a few Audis mixed in there too.

Aside from Perl's syntax and Forth's community being clear hits, the hell version doesn't really work. Here is an improvement with the same languages.

>Hell is where
>It's as fast as Python
>It's as minimal as C++
>It's as portable as Ruby
>It's as metaprogrammable as Java
>It's as powerful as COBOL
>It's as flexible as JavaScript
>It's got Forth's documentation and community
>It's as well paid as Lisp
>It's got Perl's syntax

Source?

Eat my baguette faggot

they will never get the most beautiful of them

our policemen are better than bobbies desu
and so are swiss lovers than the french
and the swiss cant organize a shit properly

You can't just everything you don't like, sir.

Heave is where:
programs compatibility is like Windows
safety is like Linux
nothing looks like iThings

Hell is where:
programs compatibility is like Linux
safety is like Windows
everything looks like iThings

Cobol's portability definitely isn't a selling point though.

>Audi
>not Mercedes

And in hell it’s all organised by the CIA niggers

...

Maaaate

Maaaaaaaaaate

Canada's food isn't good?

Swallow all my fromage

You almost had some ebin digits

Go away rajesh

heaven is where
kernel is linux
ui is mac
security is bsd
ease of use is windows

hell is where
kernel is windows
ui is bsd
security is windows
ease of use is plan 9

>windows
>ease of use

>British police
>good

>Hell is where all is organised by Italians.
This shit really hits home.

Why post the 159 when the Giulia in the pic related is gonna be soon operative?

Indians have to be in the "heaven" list somewhere in order for them to be present in the "hell" list. Where should they go other than tech support?

>I trump your facts with facebook image macro

Indians have the best education to wage ratio. Try having more educated tech support in the same pay bracket.
The only bad thing is their English (which is often much better than people think) or their accent. It's much easier for me to understand Indian accents because I am Britbong.

>Hell is where:
>Graphic designers are Chinese

Nigga had u seen antd. Made by china and better that any fucking css framework seen

mirin'

easiest driver install and has the best support for software and hardware. whenever i have to change certain things on my motherboards i always need to boot into windows as no compatability layer is safe enough to modify your bios (used for gigabyte boards) and then no other os will give you control of the aura sync (to actually disable all the fucking colors

>easiest driver install
huh? if you get hardware supported by linux, it works ootb, you don't even need to manually install drivers unless you get something that doesn't have a mainline driver
installing drivers may not be hard in windows, but you don't even need to do that in linux

>f you get hardware supported by linux, it works ootb
ok ignoring the fact that youve got a pre req there, its a pain to have to install propietary drivers on a system that avoids them, then you have certain user cases where the drivers will work but only on a basic level and then require the propietary driver.

even if you're unable to avoid hardware with proprietary drivers, which is really pretty rare nowadays, that's still only one or two drivers to manually install, and even then some distros have tools to install those for you
as for prerequisites, that's just the price of using an os that isn't the most popular, thankfully these days you aren't locked out of much anymore

go install amdgpu-pro for the vega release on anything thats not ubuntu or rhel/cent. its quite fun. not talking about older releases either.

i'm not familiar with amdgpu-pro or vega
i'm using an hd7850 with amdgpu/radeon-si (foss)
proprietary driver support is hardly the fault of linux, by definition, it depends on support by a third party, only amd can improve their proprietary drivers, same applies to windows

The woman can name anyone as the father and
DNA tests are illegal.

and don't forget, the typical french assumes garlic is a parfum and of course shaved and washed armpits are blasphemy

>The woman can name anyone as the father and
>DNA tests are illegal.
um what?

>ui is bsd
Rude

Amazing how low a country can get right?

>It's as well paid as Lisp