Tesla

>current products don't work
>already shilling new products

Is Tesla a fucking meme brand or what?

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>Current CPUs don't work
>Intel already shilling new architectures

Is tech roadmaps a fucking meme or what?

Investors are stupid sheep.
Takes a man of vision and nice words to reap off their sweated money.

Pretty much. Nothing he's ever worked on has had any real world benefits except that dumb assholes will give him money for it.

Elon Musk has to put out something "new and exciting" every so often if he wants to keep getting those taxpayer subsidy gibsmedats.

You've probably used one of his products several times this year, but you're too uneducated to realize it.

Tesla is pure meme though

>You've probably used one of his products several times this year, but you're too uneducated to realize it.

Obviously people use his products if people buy them, it doesn't change the fact that their introduction was pointless and their sales are fueled solely by memes.

itt poor people

that goes for you too
>if people buy them
>elon has only worked on products you buy
Like I said. You're too uneducated to realize it.

Fine mister clever
Name one.

It was a stupid decision to compete in the car-making industry.

It's a low-margin, capital-intensive market that only a few can survive in.

The new car going 0 - 60 in 1.9seconds is amazing though

Is apple still making their telsa rival car or has that project been put on hold?


What's funny is these cars are straight up meant to be replaced every few years, not last 10+ years. I think telsa (and apple I suppose) don't realize that there's a big difference between the idiots who will buy a 1000 dollar phone and a 40 thousand dollar car every year.

Why create a new roadster, isn't that what his first car was?

I can understand the semi truck, that will be yuge. I am still waiting on a pickem up truck.

solar toilet paper.

damn, that's pretty impressive.
after you get up to 60mph you have 2.1 whole more seconds to drive before you need to recharge.

ITT: salty truckers in denial

Better start learning actually useful skills you lazy fucks, self-driving trucks will come quicker than you think.

It isnt a daily cummuter you fucking peasant. Its the fastest production track car ever. Made for millionars who drive it to the track or to a restraunt on the weekend, otherwise it stays in the garaged with the rest of the expensive exotics

pretty neato if you are rich desu

yeah but at first we will get paid to sit and watch to make sure the computer doing it job.

For sure. Its sad how the new porsche only does 0 - 60 in 2.7 seconds compared to the 1.9 of the tesla. Wont be long before combustion engine supercars cannot compete with electric and become obsolete

Do you like... my car?!

>gets rid of blue collar jobs
THANKS ELON
ELON FOR PRESIDENT

>model s, 3(originally e), x, spells out sex
>truck performance is called BAMF
>spacex rocket is called BFR
>regenerative braking
>drag coefficient greater than sports car

You are now aware Tesla is a meme machine

pretty sure their products work, they just suck at producing them in the promised quantity
kinda like a certain caffeine cpu

We better stop technological progress to keep people employed, fuck efficiency. Get rid of automation in factories while we're at it

>What's funny is these cars are straight up meant to be replaced every few years, not last 10+ years.
The batteries in Teslas come with an 8 year warranty, and they are supposed to last 15 years on average iirc, so they very obviously aren't meant to be replaced every few years.

You can keep people employed by having half of them dig holes for 8 hours, and having the other half fill holes for 8 hours. It's pretty much the same as wagecucking.

One more reason brainlets like this fuck should be gassed.

i can't wait for the NEET utopia ahead of us.

^this
Yes. Whenever operations hit a critical point of bankruptcy elon pulls another trick from under his sleeve that wont ship for years to lure bond holders into issuing him money to keep the lights on.

I'll be shocked if he can keep the lights on that long.. No word of what happens when Trump cuts this fags subsidies off... They lose $4,000 a car as it is.

GAS GAS G.... oh wait lol

This. Tbh, Anyone still working in this day and age is genuinely retarded

Electric cars are fucking stupid. Hydrogen is the future, you know it's true because the japs are making inroads on hydrogen cars and as far as cars go, whatever japs build, the world follows.

>No environment raping battery packs
>Don't have to replace failing battery packs
>No charging time
>Produce fuel at home from solar cells and water once it becomes cheap enough

Elon can fuck off.

Hydrogen is shitty energy storage for cars.

You either have to store it in extremely high pressure tanks or in a chemical way that's more expensive than Lithium batteries.

>1.9s 0-60

I wasn't aware we had tires good enough for that yet.

>current products don't work
They work, they just need to ramp up production. For which they'll have at least two years before even the first deliveries of the new shit starts. If they can't get their production into order in 2 years then yes, they would have a problem.

The reason why Japs use hydrogen is because shipping cars with empty tanks is easier than cars with super heavy batteries

Battery technology at the moment is just shit and expensive. The problem is that power companies won't allow any kind of superbattery to be developed becauss once it is affordable they can kiss their grid monopoly goodbye.

A few KW of solar cells provides waaay in excess of a households usage for a year, the problem is that most of it is unusable because there is no way to store it effectively.

lol. My model x works just fine and i cant wait to try the roadster.

you fags need to stick to your linux threads.

>The problem is that power companies won't allow any kind of superbattery to be developed becauss once it is affordable they can kiss their grid monopoly goodbye.

Dude stop it. there are several thusand companies and schools working on developing new battery tech, but it is a slow process.

There arent any lizard people trying to hold us back, the only jackasses who are trying are trump voters.

So how is this car even possible? It defines all laws of thermodynamics.

>250 mph
>0-6 in less than 2 seconds
>600 mile range
>charges to 80% in 30 mins

Basically it is faster than any F1 car for $200k. There is no car in the world that can beat it. It can easily beat a $5 million dollar Lambo/Ferrari on the drag and strip by minutes.

Tesla is the Apple of car brands.

they're lying, you can't get to 60mph/100kmh in less than 2,5s unless you're planning on burning your back wheels in smoke

>Whenever operations hit a critical point of bankruptcy elon pulls another trick from under his sleeve that wont ship for years to lure bond holders into issuing him money to keep the lights on.

Congratulations, that's exactly how American companies operate.

IDK they were actually allowing people to test drive it, and people were close to 1.9 with less than 8 seconds for a quarter mile time.

they're probably packing all the batteries on top of the rear wheels, otherwise you wouldn't have enough traction and you'd just burnout

It works if the car weighs 5000 pounds.

The car is four wheel drive. They don't need to pack the batteries anywhere, they just need the car to be heavy in general. And with such a large battery, it definitely is.

Yea notice how it doesn't have a front lid or a trunk?

You know what you aren't allowed to do, send a self-driving car driving without a drive.

Yet

>why have robot slaves when we could have human slaves
nah

...

>Better start learning actually useful skills you lazy fucks, self-driving trucks will come quicker than you think
Is this the new meme?

Yeah it's a meme. Everything is a meme. Like this image is a fucking meme.

It has a 600+ mile range, that's better than pretty much any car on the road.

PayPal

>Buying new cars

Top fucking kek. Look at how much new/last few years old cars cost, then look at an older car and calculate how long you could run and maintain it for the price difference.

Protip, it's a long fucking time.

The model S already does it in 2.4. Please pull more BS out of you ass. When you got a couple tons of batteries over the wheels grip becomes a plentiful resource.

It's not a meme you fucking luddite. Once self-driving is proven, freight companies will do the maths and see how much they can save by firing their truckers and all the associated employment bullshit, they will use money and political clout to pass laws making it legal.

Seriously, if I was driving for a living I would be considering retraining asap.

Elon Musk is reddit personafied.

>Every company that owns a tractor and a few trailers is going to switch over to trucks that can't even go 300 miles without charging
>Thinks the DOT won't force companies to have a driver even in self driving trucks for redundancy purposes

You're not even out of college yet. You know nothing about bureaucracy.

i hate when people call him iron man.

It also forced the automatikikes to invest in and develop electric cars.

Volkswagen just dedicated 40 billion into EV research and development as of yesterday.

That wouldn't have happened without Tesla (and the emission scandal)

The important thing for me is getting EV's period, not that Tesla's EV's are successful

Well they just can't cut it if they wait for a product to be stable.

automakers were investing in EV long before Elon meme, you just weren't paying attention

Actually I'm one of the lizard people and we absolutely are holding you guys back as much as possible. Especially on battery technology. Once you figure out elerium 115 and put it into a battery you're virtually become a space-based species overnight and officially "credible competition" for us. We don't have much presence in the orion-cygnus arm (we're mostly in perseus) but it's still better in the long run to stall progress on this planet for as long as possible. No sense letting you become competitive willy nilly.

it will get good for truckers before it gets bad, automatic trains still require a driver at all times in case something goes wrong.

It will be the same when self driving trucks come along, truckers will be paid to do nothing.

he's too spaghetti to be reddit

fuck you got me, you're right

Yeah "investing" as in "lol here's a concept, we'll never produce it, don't expect to see anything before 2020 and we totally promise to give you electric in 2050"

There's a reason it took an upstart to actually produce electrics: The autokikes never gave a fuck. They've been stagnating in the US for 3-4 fucking decades already. GM even had to get a 13 billion dollar fucking bailout from the US government

(hey so about that "tesla gets subsidies from the government" meme...)

US automakers are a fucking JOKE.
And so are you if you actually thought they were going to produce electrics without any competition while getting bailout/handouts from the government for failing.

CURRENT PRODUCTS WORK BUT CAN'T MEET DEMAND DUE TO PRODUCTION ISSUES

HE SHOULD RAISE THE PRICE BECAUSE HE MAJORED IN ECONOMICS

Ponzi scheme for the time being: they need to keep investors excited and creditors optomistic until they can (hopefully) start making miney.

Bureaucracy will on the automation crosshair too. Also sooner than you think.

>lady owner
stopped reading there

who said anything about US automakers? Euros and Japs are investing a lot of money in EV

Lady owners, especially older ones are top tier for used cars.

>truckers will be paid to do nothing
Yes and they will get minimum wage for doing nothing. And you are assuming that companies wont find a way to get office workers to monitor several trucks in the short period where self-driving trucks will not be fully autonomous yet.

Enjoy your short term gains at the cost of market coverage/entrenchment.

Makes way more Sense to have diesel electric semi trucks.
All electric is stupid.

Only after Tesla came to market with their cars.

Why?

NOPE

Only after Tesla stock became overvalued af

Women married to white dudes - good (the man takes care of the car)
white dudes - good
everyone else - never buy used from them, they are not smart enough to take care of the car

They're a tech company and priced as a tech company. In any case you shouldn't look at the stock price, but the market cap.

>drives a $120,000 SUV
>reads an anime porn message board

>Thy're lying
LMAO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

>youtube.com/watch?v=ctx4YBEdOxo
GO TO 5:23.

That ruins the whole advantage of the low moving parts count and easy maintenance that full electric cars have.
We just need to improve on batteries or make recycling them way cheaper

living the dream.

What the fuck was that acceleration?

I mean, you can see that one moment the car was sliding there like nothing happens and suddenly launch itself like a fucking rocket, even spinning the 4 wheels.

>they're a tech company and priced as a tech company

>market cap is twice of arm
>produce nothing of value
>make no money

>have 2 teams work on 2 different products
>1 product doesnt do well
>2nd product is ready for demonstration
>for some reason they shouldnt show it

>Producing products people buy is producing nothing of value
>reinvesting into your company to expand production means you aren't making money

Just say that you've got an irrational hatred of the company and a stick up your ass and be done with it.

If they can't cut it in the market then the company will go bankrupt and die. People like you have been screaming it'll happen for like 11 year now, and Tesla continues to make and sell cars (and now other things as well).

Maybe in another 11 years you'll give up?

What? Every investor is shorting Tesla waiting for the bubble to pop.

Never. Be. Post. Revenue.

I honestly have to wonder how many Tesla fanboys I see online even own one. somehow they managed to get an entire demographic of people who can't even afford a normal car obsessing over the marketing BS on elon musk's twitter. and don't you dare mention to those types how elon musk isn't even an engineer, he just advertises the work of other people under his brand.

plus his companies treat their workers like shit and he still manages to spin it for attention by posting meaningless apologies on twitter

tesla has commodified cars into another tech industry circlejerk complete with a "visionary" leader whose sole accomplishment is being a rich jerk

>Reddit is literally African-American
the math checks out

>or a trunk?
Like any other sports car?

It's no surprise to me, this is a proposed new generation of vehicle, the concepts may not be unique or fresh but this is the "we nailed it down" phase, they're pushing that electric cars are no longer a neat toy, they're practical (and better) replacements.

The ability to own one or not shouldn't influence the excitment of witnessing the epoch of a generation in some field, it's like seeing the room sized computers at university that cost more than your life, knowing that in time, they will get smaller, cheaper, and you or your children will reap the benefit, although in this case, it's a much shorter time delta.

That's my take on it anyway. I want to point out that I said a lot of "proposed" and "potentially", this is just to tie in with the fact they're marketing this product and it may or maynot live up to this but regardless, the fanbase sees it as such. I myself see the potential in this and love to see it but I don't expect anything useful to me for at least a few more years, and if it comes from Tesla or someone else, doesn't matter, it's nice to see them put some vigor into this field that has been pretty stagnant for a long time.