Are coffee makers a botnet?

Are coffee makers a botnet?

What is a good non-botnet coffee maker?

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youtube.com/watch?v=-i0UugILBJg
theverge.com/2017/9/1/16243356/juicero-shut-down-lay-off-refund
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F R E N C H
P R E S S

If you want a coffee setup with no integrated circuits in it, get a good stovetop kettle, a hand burr grinder, a nice pourover and a good mug.

I think this is the only solution. And you have to avoid a botnet stove.

>doesn't drink green tea

enjoy your botnet

As far as i know those things are "dumb" unless you are paranoid enough to believe everything with a power socket contains a microphone and modem.

Does matcha count?

My parents bought that espresso maker and never bothered learning how to use it, so it only gets used every once in a while when I go home and decide I want to waste 10+ minutes making a fucking coffee and cleaning the machine. It makes really good coffee though, at least.

Just get a French press or an aeropress, they're quick and cheap and either one makes good coffee. Hario grinders are good and they're pretty cheap, I don't see why anyone would spend hundreds on an electric grinder unless you're quadriplegic or retarded or something. I also have a moka pot for the occasional Cuban coffee.

I just use a $10 blade grinder, it's cheap and really fast and easy to clean and you can't even tell the difference between burr and blade unless you're making espresso in which case, you need very consistent particle size or else you get a horrible extraction.

>He doesn't control his espresso machine with a tablet or phone.

pleb.

how retarded do you have to be to load so much fucking coffee into the handle

>use natural gas stove
>gas lines are connected to the botnet.

>tfw too frugal to be autistic about coffee

>I have never made espresso.

It's normal amount.
If you shake it that heap will collapse almost entirely into the filter basket, tamping does the rest.

im a barista and that's overfilled

>He doesn't use a cast iron stove heated by wood he harvested from his own land using an axe and hand saw.

Theyre all botnet free if theyre just not connected to the internet nigga.

I've been making coffee with an Aeropress for two years but now I'm afraid it's botnet

How could I have been so stupid to not realize it until now

Memepill me on home espresso Sup Forums. How much money do I have to spend to not be a complete pleb about it?

bout 1500-2000 bucks.

>filter subscription

lel, you don't own your coffee. French press works even when the grid goes down.

About this much, they don't need hella electronics.

3000+

get a moka pot.

If you own a fucking cafe

1.5k-2k

Everything else is industrial-grade

There is a danger though.
How much time do you even have to enjoy your coffee at home. The nicer it gets, the more dissapointed you are going to be with the office coffee machine that you'll encounter about a million times more often.

>use natural gas stove
what? why?

big fan of the aeropress for basic no frills coffee. if espresso is your thing just buy a cheap espresso maker, maybe a milk frother if you like gay stuff like capucinno

>eneco
kanker man, waarom?

sticker price 1.5-2k but in reality these products frequently go on sale for 25-30% off because they rarely sell at their full price

$500 on the espresso machine and $600 on the grinder.

Jesus fuck why. It's not a goddamn 5 ton hydraulic press (one of which I own). Why so much to push water through grounds at a mere ~110 psi?

>600 for a grinder
Now you're fucking with me.

>spend $8 on 250g bag of beans.
>can't spend $8 on 100 filters.

for a grinder
>Now you're fucking with me.

Why would I?

The grinder is easily the most important component.

I'll be completely honest in saying I'm not sure.
I've been around coffee people all my life and this has never really changed much.
They can't all be hand made can they?

>shilling for big filter

>not using a FOSS moka
You people are genuinely DISGUSTING

i buy pre ground, fight me

It's fine as long as you drink it within a reasonable time. It just loses flavour quicker that way, nothing wrong with it.

https: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_pot

Just buy this and freshly roasted beans.
Don't listen to the coffee autists.

i dump it into a container with an airtight lid then store it in the fridge, one brick lasts me about a week, flavour stays the same throughout

this thread in a nutshell
youtube.com/watch?v=Kra1eWAiKvE

I like this brand too mang.
For the french press, lessgeddid.

Ay if you really need a coffee at an airport you could do much worse. No one is shitting on the golden arches my guy.

I have a sneaking suspicious that coffee snobs are like audiofools. They spend 10x what they need to on products that don't grant any real added quality, but just attenuate in a "desired" way and add to the "experience".

I can't make out the brand through all the jaypeg.

>sneaking suspicious
Whoops. I revealed myself as a phoneposter there. Please don't hate. How else can I shitpost while at work?

Up to a certain level this is true.
Like audio, after a certain point it's about taste.
also like audio, even some cheap items are decent value for money whilst not being the very best.

>Mcdonalds coffee confirmed the porta pro or the KZ-ATE of coffee.

amazon.com/gp/aw/reviews/B005MMN4DG/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_paging_btm_2?ie=UTF8&pageNumber=2

pretty much all coffee barring espresso can be made by hand (needs pressure).
The quality of the beans you use will affect the outcome way more than any fancy gadgetry.

Not a coffee maker but still sort of on-topic

youtube.com/watch?v=-i0UugILBJg

theverge.com/2017/9/1/16243356/juicero-shut-down-lay-off-refund

the schadenfreude is giving me boners

Juicero was one of the most interesting useless weird items to ever reach the public.
>Just imagine that this was a thing for a while and people ironcally, and unironically bought it.

>It's not a goddamn 5 ton hydraulic press (one of which I own). Why so much to push water through grounds at a mere ~110 psi?

Unless you want a plastic piece of shit that needs replacing in just a few years it's not unreasonable to spend a little on a machine that will last decades.

This is what my $500 espresso machine looks like on the inside.

has anyone tried this? does it mechanically allow for enough pressure to be "authentic"?

the compressor looks good, but they cheaped out on that pump pump

I have no idea, but this look so silly I want to try and find one IRL.

I use a Krups Nespresso U

this looks like an over engineered aeropress in principle, so no, not enough pressure for a true espresso. should be fine for most other coffees though

>compressor

You mean the boiler?
It's cast bronze.

The pump is indeed just a simple vibration pump.
It does the job, requires no maintenance, and is cheap to replace if it ever breaks.

>$600 on the grinder.
a $6 manual burr grinder from a garage sale gets the job done too

I should add:

Having luxuries like a rotary pump and a heat exchanger is what makes the difference between a $500 and a $1500 machine.
All reasonable IMO - again these are supposed to last decades.

...

You need to separate the fine dust and the rough particles from the properly ground medium size particles. Your $6 shitgrinder won't do that.

if you're making piss quality drip. for espresso you need a $500 grinder.

Drinking anything other than water when thirsty

a box of 100 filters is like $4 where I live, don't get one of those autistic brand pourovers with hard to find filters, melitta filter #2 is everywhere

interdasting to see the insides, my old nespresso machine looks very similar inside (obviousy way cheaper lower quality parts though)
So no mattr how fancy they dres them up, the fundamental principle is the same.

We don't drink coffee because we're thirsty.
We drink coffee because we have jobs.

people on /ck/ hate it when i call them "coffee audiophiles" but that's exactly what they're doing

this doesn't even look that far off from one of those autistic audio setups

its adjustable. you can absolutely use it for espresso

its top shelf drip. bean quality matters much more than grinder

that's because that preground stuff has shit quality from even before you open the package. which is why you can't even tell that the grounds are absorbing all the foul odours from your fridge like a box of baking soda would.

my next big purchase is gonna be a "super automatic" espresso machine that can make me a freshly burr-ground cup of different varieties of coffee. would save me 5-10 minutes each morning if i could just press a button and get some boss coffee.

only thing I'm afraid of is they all seem to have really shitty software interfaces.

>bean quality matters much more than grinder

you're throwing perfectly good beans away if you aren't grinding to particle consistency. extraction is all about UNIFORMITY, something your shit $6 grinder won't achieve in a million years of rolling the dice.

my tastebuds disagree.
lavazza is some good shit.
also, i store it in an airtight jar so no fridge smells get in.

i wish they made these in borosilicate insead of plastic

>my old nespresso machine looks very similar inside

I seriously doubt it.

Probably all plastic and consumer grade components.
Also fairly sure it has a thermoblock rather than a boiler.

your taste is shit.

>you can absolutely use it for espresso

oh and i want to connect it to the waterline and an reverse osmosis filter. i don't want to pour water into it all the time, just throw out the used beans every once in a while.

jura is got tier

>extraction is all about UNIFORMITY
>doesn't know what the word "extraction" means

Buy a percolator or continue being a total faggot.

i suspect you own a macbook

>its top shelf drip.

Then don't complain.

The question was about ESPRESSO.
You need a decent grinder for ESPRESSO.
Nobody here said you need to spend $600 on a grinder for drip.

i suspect you are jobless

How about you stop making these stupid threads?
calle sayer

>"super automatic" espresso machine

>save me 5-10 minutes each morning

It takes under 1 minute to make an espresso:
- 13 second grind.
- 25 second brew.
- 22 seconds left for all the other stuff.

You're going to waste more time cleaning it than you save.

Why you no like quality espresso threads? Are you a drip poster?

>You need a decent grinder for ESPRESSO.
no, you don't. as long as the grinder is adjustable, you can use it. theres no shortage of videos on youtube demonstrating this.

I get being into coffee. what I don't get is why you would desperately try to defend a meme. you open up an insanely priced $600 commercial grinder and you'll find the equivalent of my $6 manual grinder with an electric motor attached to it. thats the truth and you know it.

>doesn't know what the word "extraction" means

nigga wut? dissolving solids from coffee grind IS what's referred to as 'extraction' you fucking moron. grind uniformity is essential in order to get a proper CONTROLLED extraction. otherwise you wind up with unbalanced rate of dissolution (due to the varying grind particle sizes).

youtube.com/watch?v=fX_SpKd7diY
anyone own one of these things?

What kind of setup are you using? I've got a gen1 Silvia I wanna fuck with

youtu.be/stTzLmoStsU
what are some botnet-free alternatives to this tortilla pod machine?

>He uses axe and hand saw
Enjoy your botnet

Hoooold up, even coffee makers? Jesus, how out of the loop have I been... But seriously, what use is there in making a fucking drink dispenser a botnet.

At that point, things like atmospheric pressure, humidity, water quality, and contaminants in your glassware are going to impact the flavour more than particle size. You're in denial, user.

You already admitted to never making espresso.
So what do you know?

Cheap grinders don't have good control in the espresso range, aren't consistent between grinds and will throw off easily.
Just a small change in grind size has a big impact on the water flow.

The problem if shitty inconstant consumer grinders is exactly why they invented "pressurized" portafilters like pic related.

It was a joke, just some pic I pulled off the internet.

I temperature surf, old skool.