The perfect laptop

ITT: Sup Forums designs the perfect laptop

list of features that the consensus mostly agrees on:
>Airgappable, no bluetooth, no wireless card unless you use an adapter (or at least cards are removable/breakable)
>no camera or microphone (or removable without fucking up the laptop)
>small screen resolution, means small overall size (Max 1440x900) easier for, portability, carrying and hiding in a small backpack
>strictly no intel ME or AMD PSP CPU (Recommended FX8350)
>at least 6 GB ram
>a widely used integrated graphics card so every OS has drivers for it
>an SSD and a HDD so you can permanently shut the fuck up about storage
where can such magnificent creation exist?
Discuss.

>inb4 retards recommending their thinkpads that don't fit half of above's criteria

>inb4 retards recommending their thinkpads that don't fit half of above's criteria
Yep U got that right!
T60p!

FRANKENPAD T601F

X200 libreboot

Oh didn't see the multi drive thing. Sacrifice some freedom for X230 coreboot if need be

A T400 is close to that

Maybe don't be so autistic about things you can't control

t. I'm using a 300 dollar P.O.S Asus that does everything I need it to.

>you can't control
but you can, X200 all the way to X230

>dude just buy whatever lmao XD
fuck off

>no bluetooth
Why not?

X carbon with ryzen mobile, dual channel RAM, SSD and oled display which doesn't burn in would be pretty rad.

bluetooth is shit.

for mem it's Apple MacBook Retina (12 inch) 2015+.
no fans
no moving parts
ssd
high res AND portable
intel so it just works
can run any bsd or linux or windows

X301 with modern hardware
12 hour battery life minimum
Intel i7-7567U CPU with iris Plus 650 graphics
32GB DDR4 (16 in base model), 2 SO-DIMMs
Samsung NVMe 960 PRO SSD (512GB and 1024GB models). Additional m.2 port free
2560x1600 OLED Display, 1920x1200 in poorfag-spec model
Ports: 3 USB3.1, 2 thunderbolts, 10Gbps Ethernet, one full size DP and one full-size HDMI
Factory offered with either Ubuntu or Windows 10 Enterprise

>small screen resolution means small overall size
how retarder are you?

T60 keyboard
15 inches
4 cores processor
Good autonomy

That's it. I'll pay up to 800$ for it, too bad it doesn't exists. Nowaday every laptop is shit with uncomfortable keyboard with 0.1mm key travel

T60 with modern hardware

this but with a raven ridge apu

purism / an older librebooted thinkpad

serves no purpose, possibly vulnerabilities.

next time read the criteria, legitimate mactoddler

i'm talking about width and height, not thickness.

Explain

who uses bluetooth, it sucks ass

I do. It allows me to listen to music on my headphones without having to deal with a wire getting tangled up in my shit. It is also great for when I am cooking and don't want to disturb my neighbors. It is also great for sitting on my bed to watch movies with my headphones on (so that I don't disturb my neighbors) but still be a good distance from my computer.
I thought the intention of this laptop was to give consumers the most options.

Size: T400
Durability: T60
Weight: X1C
Spec: P51

I've heard of a Bluetooth audio solution that didn't have extreme range issues

your criteria are shit and for plebs and mine are right.

>I've never heard of a Bluetooth audio solution that didn't have extreme range issues

>I thought the intention of this laptop was to give consumers the most options.
No, just by looking at OP's criterias this PC is apparently for people who want to hack proof their machine, basically security/privacyfags

>connect fone to speaker
>walk 5 feet away
>audio starts skipping

that's my point, bluetooth has shit range

Ok

fuck X230 manages to do the checklist except the most important, i5 M.E infested CPU

Why don't they just run a figurative toaster with FreeDOS installed, then?

What about the god awful 1366x768 screen, with a choice of either a piss poor TN panel or a burn-in prone IPS one.

yes, that one too

guess we'll have to simply bar all thinkpads off now

Yesterday I spilled milk over my T520.

I did the exact opposite of what one should do in this situation.
Instead of shutting it down at removing the battery I turned it upside down to let the milk flow out while it was till powered on.

After that it crashed and wouldnt power on.
So I disassembled it and let it try over night.

The next morning I put it back together and guess where I am typing this right now.


There exists a perfect laptop already

literally T400

>Airgappable, no bluetooth, no wireless card unless you use an adapter (or at least cards are removable/breakable)
HW killswitch for wireless
>no camera or microphone (or removable without fucking up the laptop)
Can be bought without cam.
Mic can easily be removed.
>small screen resolution, means small overall size (Max 1440x900) easier for, portability, carrying and hiding in a small backpack
Yes
>strictly no intel ME or AMD PSP CPU (Recommended FX8350)
Yes
>at least 6 GB ram
8GB max
>a widely used integrated graphics card so every OS has drivers for it
Yes
>an SSD and a HDD so you can permanently shut the fuck up about storage
Ultrabay to switch between DVD and a second drive.
You can also add a dock and get a 3rd drive.

The only con I can think of is that the virtualization is shitty, but I'm going to do a quad core mod soon and maybe I get better performance(allowing CPU microcode updates should also help).

You should have added water to clean it.

However OP wants to be able to just turn off the wireless card entirely on a whim, if you have 2.5 GHz which can be exploited then I don't see why you can't have bluetooth, it is just a couple of extra chips on the same card, that does seem stupid

I spilled a big ass cappuccino in my x230, it went into the motherboard and everything. I just cleaned everything with distilled water and rubbing alcohol and not it's better than new.

Never had this problem. Ever. Not even shitposting.

This is almost entirely related to the specific piece of equipment, not Bluetooth audio in general.

>Supporting Moloch
Die.

get the 15.1 T60

My perfect laptop (using technology available today):
> 16 inch bezelless 16:10 screen
> ~270ppi IPS 120hz
> 99wh battery
> lenovo's chiclet keyboard (I love it) with more "premium" materials
> Aluminium unibody (Like the new MacBooks)
> Thin like pic related
> 45W 8th gen core i7 (6-core/12-thread, will destroy Raven Ridge on CPU load)
> (Raven Ridge Option)
> GTX 1070 + Intel HD 630
> (Radeon Pro/no GPU/lower end GPU options)
> 3 coolers and a huge heatsink to make sure it won't throttle (I don't care about noise on big workloads)
> Optional fingerprint sensor
> MacBook tier stereo-speakers
> MacBook tier trackpad
> ports: two thunderbolt 3 ports, two USB 3 ports, headphone jack, HDMI, SD Card
> "magsafe" charger with usb-c connector
> Underclock mode to disable the GPU and reduce the CPU frequencies to 1.3-2.5GHz, getting ~20 hours of battery life.
> Upgradeable RAM (up to 64GB) and SSD. (I wish we could update the CPU and GPU, but it's not possible nowadays)
> HDD slot option (reducing the battery capacity)
> Easily repairable overall
> Thinkpad's Water spill protection
> decent webcam (also, no webcam/mic option)
> Linux drivers/MacOS hackintosh support
> 3 year warranty
I would drop $3000 on the thing with no regrets. Would you, Sup Forums?

Bought an X301 recently and is probably the most comfortable laptop I've ever used. Would suck dick for modern guts

>Don't ping me or my wife's son ever again!

I have a t70 15 inch. i7 7700hq. 32gb ram. 256 nvmem2.

>inb4 retards recommending their thinkpads that don't fit half of above's criteria

So which Apple™ MacBook™ are you planning on buying and need to have Sup Forums validate for you?

$800 doesnt sound like enough. You need to pay more

No dedicated GPU?

Nope. That's okay

>Small screen is criteria
>No wireless card

user, what the hell are you thinking?

x220 with no intel ME fucking bullshit

>>Small screen is criteria
you really wannal lug around a twenty inch laptop? use your brain
>>No wireless card
airgap. just buy an adapter, they're cheap and small

X40 is the thinking NEET’s ThinkPad.

>x220/T form
>modern enough chip to compile software efficiently
>free BIOS
>DDR4, 4-8GB
>hardware switch for webcam & mic
>6-8 hour battery
>1920x1080 or better res
>wireless card goes in the RAM compartment, hardware switched

Fucking just make me an x200T with relatively modern specs senpai.

T420 with the camera mod and screen mod.

Dell fps 9550 with 12.9 ipad pro using duet display to run it as a 2nd monitor. Pretty comfy

I work in a machine shop and I listen to my shitty $25 jaybuds pros while I work. I can walk at least 60 feet away before I lose signal.

The main thing I've noticed is that the signal has a 0% penetration through any sort of metal(I work in a machine shop and there's tons of metal just waiting to signalcuck me), and it has absolute shit range when outside(possibly due to the sun's radiation?).

That sounds fucking atrocious. Why on earth would you spend $3K on a fucking laptop for shit's sake? A $130 thinkpad is perfect already.

>glossy white thinkpad x60s
>super retina display from the iPhone X
>dual boot Windows ME and Mac OS X Snow Leopard
>no external mouse
>only the nipple
>80 GB 5400 rpm hard drive
>1GB RAM
>speakers powered by beats audio
>glowing thinkpad logo on the back like the jobs era macbooks

I can think of nothing more /comfy/ than this.

performance you want on demand
Infinite memory
$0
Breaks only if you want it to