What is the most soul crushing, corporate programing language of all time

what is the most soul crushing, corporate programing language of all time

the type where you say its name and you imagine jaded depressed alcoholic office works smoking cigarettes plugging away in an assembly line like fashion

person with best answer gets to save OP pic

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Java

Ruby

Fpbp

Not really a "programming language", but T-SQL.

Java

is this the reason i want to die? been into java since i was 15

Fortran

COBOL

>JavaScript

FTFY

I Vote for Java. Its shitty and slow but corps love it because it is truly multiplatform and they don't need to keep different codebases.

Java, are you kidding me? That shit is comfy, especially with an IDE.

How about fucking Assembly or straight up C? Fuck a duck they are tedious.

JavaScript
Definitely the most soul crushing

Loose type
Everything is globals
Null
JSON is their idea of serialization

Literally every language design decision in JavaScript was the worst possible choice.

The languages are tedious, but the only people who use them are fetishists, ivory tower academics, and engineers. Assembly isn't exactly assembly line stuff.

Thank god you can now use Kotlin for Android development.
Main.thread.finish()

>bullying assembly
alright nigger, its time to get on all fours
bullying C is one thing, now assembly is just too much, you have crossed the line dipshits
the bull is coming

visual basic

java

BANCStar, easily.

github.com/jloughry/BANCStar/blob/master/README.md

What do I win OP?

Past:
COBOL
Present:
Java
Future:
JavaScript
Honorable mentions:
ABAP, C#, VB.NET, VBA

Redpill me on kotlin and android applications development with it
I'm starting to make some lewd apps for android operations system, should I dive into java or try alternative like kotlin?

P.s. I'm know java
Pls no buly, my anglish is not first language, thank you

SQL

>inb4 not a programming language

>The only legal characters in a BANCStar program are the digits 0 through 9, comma, minus sign, and carriage return. Blank lines are not allowed. If a "." appears anywhere in the file, the compiler will crash.
>Comments are strictly prohibited.
>Control structures available include the 3000 ("conditional"), 3001 ("block conditional"), and 3101 ("reverse block conditional"), as well as 8500 ("GOTO") and 8550 ("combination GOTO").
>There is a hard limit of 2000 variables + constants in the entire system. Anything to be displayed on screen or printed on a form must be defined as a constant, thereby taking up part of this valuable space. As a result, most calculations are done with a block of twenty or so "working storage" variables, which are continually reused. Everything in the system is global. New projects always started off with the programmer searching for a handful of working storage numbers that could be "borrowed" long enough to complete the calculation, then restored to their original values before the rightful owner noticed that they were gone.
>Labels within the code are absolute, so any time a new page was added or removed, all downstream GOTOs must be found and re-targeted.

I envy you guys if that's the worst you've experienced. Imagine a version of Java that's even slower that you could only use in a Microsoft ecosystem and you'd have the living abortion called C#. And that's not even the worst. Pic related

I did a COBOL 85 course in university, and I don't think it gets anymore corporate.

>program remotely on a zOS/360 mainframe in another state
>lag terribly, better hope brainlet classmate's infinite loop isn't using all of your resource allotment
>green font straight out of 1985, burns your eyes at any brightness needed to see it
>really uneven documentation
>Invented by Grace Hopper in 1959
>mfw

Anybody know any Cobol devs that have retired/died recently? That's the only way these skills are going to be useful.