Who here /Hacker/?

>be me just started a new IT/data job fresh out of school
>our lobby room TV’s are hooked up to tiny cpu’s Running Linux Ubuntu
>old guy gets fired and doesn’t give me passwords for the Linux user admin for TV
>they can’t play movies for people in lobby
> panic ensues, they call me
>crack my knuckles, open command prompt
> drop to root
>use secret passwd code
>save the day
>let them know I can access anyone’s computer and change things with a simple hack
>see the fear in their eyes
>let them know it’s why they pay me the big bucks (almost 40k, Midwest so that’s a lot of money)
Heh nothin personel. Share some hacker stories Sup Forums.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=MrETemQKFKA
forums.gentoo.org/viewtopic-t-1060828-start-0.html
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I can install Adobe Reader

I once uninstalled Adobe Reader

I once opened Adobe Reader

teach me your ways hackerman

wtf literally how

I always open firefox as root

are you Koding With Klossy?

fucking hell this reminds me of a lecture a couple weeks ago
>teacher wants to show us a youtube video
>loads up ie was a really old version think it was 5 or 6
>youtube says he needs flash
>searches for flash online
>goes on some super sketchy website with loads of popups and shit
>downloads flash
>opens installer
>clicks yes on about 15 different pages of malware installs

I was the only one in the whole room sitting there kekking super hard fun times desu

you could have save him from that situation user

Lol. Normie

>midwest

Ah, so what part, I am also midwestern.

>strings: 'diary34.png': no such file

lol

Hack me user.

whats the best resource online for learning how to jailbreak ipads?

>tfw op said this to be funny but people from Sup Forums genuinely think $40k is an unlivable salary

$40k is livable unless you don't do stupid things like buying overpriced iPhones and all.

40k Midwest is equivalent to like 80k in Seattle

Heh and let you backtrace me and report me to the cyber police? Not a chance kiddo. Even if you had the know how to do something like that I’m behind several proxies and using a public library computer with tape over the webcam.

>webcams in libraries in the midwest

Yeah ok, where are you really?-

>40k fresh out from school with a degree anywhere
You could do better m8 :/

Guess you missed the part where I said Midwest pleb, it’s the equivalent to 80-90k in a place like Jew York or San Fran

except it's not 80-90k it's 40k move to jew york

>getting drunk with friend playing vidya on a Saturday night
>start showing off my 1337 bash coding skills
>he wants to install Arch now
>install Arch on his laptop, show him some of the basics
>say I'd install Gentoo on his lappy but it'd be too hard for such an old and slow piece of shit
>shit talk about how hard Gentoo is to install for a while
>conversation about GNU/Linux turns into conversation about security
>inform him of the security risks of using a weak password
>he tells me his password and asks if it's secure
>laugh and show him my encrypted password database, good luck remembering all those high-ANSI characters kiddo
>next day I remember his password
>log into his FB account and start reading his messages
>mfw I see he told a girl he was at my place installing Gentoo on his laptop and getting it fixed
>mfw I'm just the anonymous IT guy

I found a way to increase my printing funds at the university library. Haven't told this to anyone, but I've printed hundreds of pages. Usual rate - 5 cents per page.

is that seriously a line from the show

If you can't afford to drop a thousand dollars every couple years, what's the fucking point? Does that mean you can't afford a car either? A down payment for a house?

youtube.com/watch?v=MrETemQKFKA

I pop boxes for a living. AMA. I've spoke at DefCon three times, black hat twice, and DerbyCon once.

I'm located in Seattle and have my own security consulting company. Basically I've been a neckbeard pentester for almost two decades.

DefCon talks always crack me up

>pop boxes

Sorry I am a newb, what does that mean?

Kek I probably met you

Heh and pay 2.2k a month in rent for a studio bedroom with 350 sq ft? I’m cool on that this salary is decently comfy around here and I’ll be getting a nice raise after a year. Stay mad Jew Yorker. Plus I love what I do and work with cool people.

Holy shit thank you for reminding me of this, I start laughing again every time I think of it
forums.gentoo.org/viewtopic-t-1060828-start-0.html

What you’re referring to as Linux is in fact GNU/Linux.

>Company hires some dude to make a simple custom plugin for webshop
>Hosting Company, my boss called them for ftp account, says NO IT WILL BREAK OUR VIRTUAL SERVERS.
>Boss all flustered, but I overhear the call
>"Heh, last week they gave me an account so I could change some images.png becauselogo change"
>Call the hosting company, get the cool awkard guy I just to fix that ftp account with.
>Tell him the story my boss told me
>"Heh Yeah he must have talked to my boss, he doesn't know much and he had an ftp issue with his home NAS that leaked personal files, probably had the standard 'security' settings" he says
>Get a new ftp account for the other company
>*Coffee-break starts*
>"Hey boss, what do you have those guys make?"
>"We want the e-mail adres of the custumor also featured on the invoice they get"
>"Huh, well that is pretty easy"
>"Easy? they are planning to work on it for 2 weeks"
>mfw.png.exe
>"Eh, I can do and test it by lunch, pretty sure, have to look up some documentaion but yeah."
>"OKay, give it a try"
>helloworld.c was more difficult
>"Oh thanks robotman, I'll tell them we can't get them acces and will try to resolve it ourselves... Ehm can you revert it and do it tomorrow again?"
>"Sure"
>X-mass comes around (was last year) get 2 instead of one month extra pay
>Ask boss why
>*sigh* "You don't want to know what they were planning to charge for those 2 weeks"
>get 2-3 free LONG lunches with boss every month to discuss *le ebin hacker stuff* + nice monthly raise after 6 months.

>(almost 40k, Midwest so that’s a lot of money)
No, it's not. I hope you are looking for better jobs while working there.

how the fuck is that even possible?

@faget OP
>crack my knuckles, open command prompt
yep.

Good story. Makes me want a comfy job.

That Hollywood and Mr Robot idea of "hackers" no exist.

Because most Sup Forums anons are childfree, unmarried, that dont need much money.
The idea of people need livable salaries of 90K or more, are ideas for people with high school diplomas, with dysfunctional families and children.

>making less than 140k first year out of uni
Fucking SalarlyLets

Well, I'm a NEET, but I have friends that make a good chunk more than 40k/yr without going to uni, and I'm in the midwest.

You can't save anyone from this? Have you never been in a similar situation? If he intervened and then there was ANY problem with that installation he would be blamed. Doesn't matter if the stupid boomer spills his denture juice on the keyboard or if he gets a virus browsing granny porn. If you have EVER touched a boomer or gen x/y computer and it does anything bad at any point in the future, its on you.

As extreme as this sounds, I can confirm it is often true.

This.

Yep. Because normies have no understanding of technology, they assume every problem afterwards is caused by you meddling with the magic picture box. I've trained that out of my family but it was a long journey.

Kek
I haven't seen this posted in a while

It's true only if you don't charge them money.
If you charge them money it triggers something in their boomer brain to think that you're actually doing a paid service and therefore qualified. It's a 'you get what you pay for' type of brainwashing.

Are they smelly dumb trade fag scum that say shit like pic related? Manual labor is for apes who were too dumb to go to uni.

>pop = penetrate the security of
>boxes = computer systems
is it really that hard to connect

Most school computers have retarded restrictions, requiring admin access to do anything. My dad is a school Inspector (dunno what te official title is, he's below the headmaster) and he can't even install adblock on his work laptop.

Why?

just wait until the trades get automated lmao let the apes starve on the streets

>40k
Is the midwest really that cheap?
I was offered 40k as an entry level it analyst for a bank. All I did was convince them I could help someone set up their wifi over the phone and I got the job.
I didn't take it because i'm already making 50k managing a cellphone stand at the mall
East Coast

lol, n00b
I am currently using a webcrawler to trace-back all your proxies and then triangulate your position using local hash-keys, soon i'll hae decrypted your mainframe and decompiled your .txt's, prepare yourself user, as i tear you a new anus!
You think tape will pretect you kidduo? fat chance! I am currently hacking the surrounding cameras to find your location and demogrify your decompilers.
pshh, nothing personel kid, but your threw. ;^)

Yea man Midwest is cheap as fuck