Let's write limericks shall we

Let's write limericks shall we.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

There once was a girl from France
Who gave me a thrilling lapdance
but when i reached out
her pants, i found out
She had a throbbing long lance

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There once was young Finnish fella
Who wanted to try a paella
He hopped on a plane
To the country of Spain
And had it with a nice pint of Stella

Very good. I've heard about Stella artois.

there was a refugee in Nice
who have taken a lorry on lease
the creditors were loud
so he rammed the crowd
and avoided to pay up the lease

i have read a nice limerick about jews and iranians today but even if i translated it you wouldn't understand it without explanation, so i wrote my own which turned out to be a pos because im lazy

A frog by the name of Toussaint
once swallowed some samples of paint
every shade in the spectrum
soon shot from his rectum
with a colorful lack of restraint

In the north exists the country of the Finn
It is said to mongolians they are akin
Their homeland is dark and covered with ice
Only alcohol gives their lifes spice
But their memes are truly ebin

Instead of rhyming lease with lease, a limerick would usually rhyme different words--

Maybe try something with "religion of peace?"

Either way, good effort Grigori

it would need to remade it completely into anti-islamist because otherwise it wouldn't matter that he took it on lease and i didn't want it. actually it is not hard

there was a refugee in Nice;
whose fervor wasn't easy to please -
to Mohammed he bowed
and he rammed the crowd
to promote the religion of peace

His name was Ivan Ivanovich
He tried his hand at a limerick
"Stop!" cried a yank
"Your rhyming is wank"
But Ivan shot him down like a little bitch

There's plenty of blarney
To be found in Killarney
But more than your fill
Beating even Rathkeel
You'll find in the Republican Army.

That's not how "Toussaint" is pronounced though

Lambert Lambert, what a prick

A Hun waved his gun
Had his fun with a nun
Back in 1916
While high on poteen
And a rapebaby bun saw the sun

There once was a brit named Bernie
Who spied an old car on his journey
And as he past by
The shrapnel did fly
Can't sing Rule Britannia from a gurney

There once was a man from New Delhi
Who heard a rumble out from his belly
He moved his feet
Towards the right street
And out of his bowels came brown jelly

its spelt poitín though and you're not following the format

I'm a-lifting and bulking
Like the mighty god Vulcan
To beat down the git
Who would see it fit
To say that Slovenia's Balkan

One night I went browsing on Sup Forums
Saw some tards giving limmericks a stint
They're shit and it sucks
What a bunch of dumb cucks
May their children be born with no tint

There once was a limey named Babbitt
Who'd complained of his nation's bad habit
on Sup Forums one fine day
he exclaimed with dismay
"These pakis keep fucking like Rabbits!"

There was this Ozzy scum
From convicts he was sprung
Insulted all the board
And by his own accord
He bubbled right up his own bum.

There was an insulting old Ozzy
Pissing up his own mouth was his hobby
Whenever he'd post
He liked it the most
To make threads with a naked man's body.

There was once was a Yank in a mart
Who decided to unleash a fart
He's the of the town
Cuz he turned his pants brown
by letting loose a giant SHART

A Slovene attempted making me cry
What he did it for I'm not sure why
He's such a fuckwit
His rhythm's so shit
He barely even got it last try

what the fuck did he do to you

beat me to it

There once was a janitor from Denver
Who never celebrated easter
The board became a disaster
Because he couldn't handle the banter
He didn't get paid either

...

Won't you drown in a billabong
You pissant noonga tagalong
For stealing a nation
in kind compensation
You came up with drinking your dong.

There once was a jap so plebian
he insulted the whole damn Aegean
"smelly greek, dirty turk,"
he'd shitpost with a smirk
But his father's a secret Korean

A scald to the Ozzies am I
Like an old Scandinavian guy
I'll give em no quarter
And cause a right slaughter
Without even telling them why

What's his obsession with this?
It seems like something's amiss
I've figured it out
He's projecting no doubt
He secretly wants to drink piss

This isn't the Sup Forums I signed up for

There once was a leaf named Maurie
who went for a ride in a Lorry
On the way to the rink
he ran over some chinks
but he just said "Buddy I'm Soory!"

He's typing his way to a blister
Stopping short of a tricky tongue-twister
Don't want to be rude
But it's time to get lewd
So I'm pimping his nine year old sister

>the accent

Alright I'm all out of limericks and headed off to the shartmart. Play nice, Sup Forums.

The American left at a canter
Even though he could stay for more banter
Like it or not
I'll tell you what
The fat cunt's just getting a fanta

There once was an Australian
Who seemed to ruin all the fun
But I'll admit they are bad
So I'm not too mad
Go ahead and keep calling them scum

youtube.com/watch?v=m5RtlpXsl8k

I'm sorry for leaving so soon
I thought that maybe you and I spoon
It's got me all beat,
that, being a NEET,
I must sleep through the afternoon.

Who says I can't use near rhymes?

Oh no, you are not out-gaying me on this one


Your English has the power to impress
It makes me want to undress
I'm rubbing my nipples
While my erect penis ripples
I expect you're a bottom, no less

>nice pint of Stella

Technically you can, but it just sounds shit is all. I would have gone with something more like:

There once was an Aussie named Chet
His voice made the Seppo girls wet
But I get to roast
While he cannot post
Because of his country's shit net

There once was a Jew out of Nice
He wanted some quiet and peace
Then a huge truck exploded
His body eroded
Causing dismay among the Israelis

Someone told me it during school years.
A Turk named Abdullah Ben Barum
Had sixty five wives in his harem.
When his favorite horse died.
"Mighty Allah!" he cried,
"Take a few of my wives, I can spare'em."

A couple I heard when I was a kid:

There once was a man from Brazil
Who swallowed a dynamite pill
His balls expired
They caught on fire
And they found him on top of a hill


There once was a man from Calcutta
He fell arse over head in the gutter
The tropical sun
Burned a hole in his bum
And melted his balls into butter

That's pretty fucken good. I like it.

There was a fat lard of type yank
Who smelt an excruciating stank
He saw his own shart
In the middle of the mart
Then claimed it was all just a prank

Good thread

There was a Swede from Finland
Every day he touched his prostate gland
he shoved it far up
the dildo got stuck
And now he's in need of a helping hand