Sit next to American on flight

>Sit next to American on flight
>He starts talking to me

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oh nice...

*walks away and starts talking to somebody else*

>Autistralia

>implying you leave your bedroom

>sit ton an american
>he sharts

hahaha
can i get a (you) or what

What the hell's wrong with you?

>Australian serves me in a swanky bar
>Attempts to """banter""" with me

I wish you'd all fuck off.

Tell him you don't want to talk. He'll probably understand. Most Americans, especially Southerners, just like conversation even with strangers if they have nothing else to do.

>he starts sharting on me

shart in plane

Don't spend it all at once.

There is only one aisle there, might get crowded.

>Sit next to a canadian
>He starts talking to me
>Tell him to shut the fuck up
>He apologises and doesn't say anything the rest of the time

>Be Canadian
>Apologise profusely

Enjoy the (you)!

I bet you're a scrawny little shit in real life. I could beat you the fuck up

Thanks, user. I'm absolutely certain (You)s will become standard currency one day, so I'm saving mine up :)

>He sharts talking to me

>sitting on the bus
>little old lady sits down next to me
>roll my eyes and let out a loud "ERGHH"
>she asks me in a gentle voice "is everything ok dear?"
>I lose my fucking cool and SUPLEX her into the seat across from mine
>the rest of the bus starts clapping
>the bus driver wipes away tears of joy from his eyes and proceeds to suck my dick
>mfw

Let me devalue (you)r currency by printing more of it. :v)

Stop that. I'm counting on these being pretty rare one day.

>things that never happened

>be canadian
>become so insecure on an online imageboard you start projecting

hahaha shut the fuck up and rot you worthless leaf!

>sit next to african-canadian
>she talks to me
>she doesn't stop
>flight full of japs
>nobody is talking except for her
>those soulless motherfucker ain't gonna help me

My only problem while sitting next to an American in a plane is that I can't use the armrest.

>implying americans don't buy two seats in order to fit.

Peter Jackson should have enough money by now to not fly economy.

I hate traveling by plane because I'm tall and all plane seats are made for fucking manlets so my knees are by my head unless I shell out for first class. I can't help it though. I don't understand why fat people are fat and inconvenience themselves so much that they are in uncomfortable situations like that when they don't need to be.

Is this the fabled Swede banter?

did he shart too?

>Tfw you're 32 years old and have never been on a plane

They'll just think you are gonna crash it into a building.

Do you expect those weak airplane toilets to be able to handle the manly sharts of an American on an American diet?

>fear of flying
>will never leave Canada/US

meh

No one cares. At least you're not a kissless virgin like me.

Last time I flew on a plane, it was a 14 hour trip to Seoul. A cute blonde girl sat next to me but I couldn't work up the courage to talk to her the whole time. I did get a good video of her when she was sleeping though.

I don't mind talking, but when everyone else is quiet and you're the only one. That's just awkward

this desu

>ctrl f shart
>6 matches

epic shart lol! heheheh *sharts*

...

>in spanish embassy getting my student visa
>have to wait for like 2 hours for it to be processed
>chat with 3 different people the entire time, even if they're noticeably annoyed but don't want to say "please stop talking to me" in public
>it's small room so I force everyone else to listen to the conversation
>after the small talk is over launch a socratic dialogue where I ask this music school girl to justify her liking all music equally
>laugh at her when she tacitly concedes to my questioning

I've taken it to a whole new level. You better gone you don't get seated next to me on public transport

True, there aren't enough

I was eating at Chipotle™ today and there was this gook sitting next to me. I did what any good Southern gentleman would do and tried to strike up a conversation but he just continued looking down at his burrito bowl and kept eating. Do I have autism?

sounds like he does

...

Only awkward if you make it awkward.

Shut up, I'll make you awkward

Not even donkeys would let someone with shit in his pants fuck them, tough luck pal.

>32 years old
lol gtfo grandba :D :DDD :DDD

>Sit next too Australians on a train here
>They start slapping my ass when I get up

l-lewd.

kek

>says the congolombian with donkey shart on his dick

great banter that

>sit next to Arab on Plane
>...

Well, you see, donkeys are decent enough to not let their guts flow out right in your face.

youtube.com/watch?v=4QllFV4D-PE

Why do you keep defending the honor of donkeys? Your father didn't actually fuck a donkey to produce you did he?

Dunno, but the one thing i'm sure about is that he didn't have any funny stuff leaking from his ass in the process.

Probably because his ass was stuffed with cocaine like a good little drug mule.

keep going guys

...

i have a 14hr flight to taiwan, totally doing this

Based dad, he always made sure to have extra protection to avoid spilling any funny stuff in his pants.

similar thing happened to me

>sitting on a bus
>mention to guy next to me i just got back from jury duty
>before i can even finish my sentence he stands up and starts clapping
>everyone on bus joins him
>theres no speakers on the bus but the star spangled banner starts playing
>fire 6 shots into the ceiling to signal my stop
>bus driver shoots back to acknowlege my request
>i return fire to acknowledge his acknowledgement
>he slows down to 60MPH so i can safely exit

>guy next to you didn't fire a shot to say hello before speaking to you
Some people have no manners.

>tfw started crying hard on plane earlier this summer

americans are very talkative and outgoing also loud i wanted to have american friend but i don't think i can have one cause i'm not good at talk anyway i can't understand their small talk culture it's just awakward

???

I've actually screen capped some good shart posting. I plan on making something similar to that

>Sit next to American on flight
>He starts talking to me
>Poor English force him be silent
>Armrest is occupied by him.
>If I sit on the window side, I will bow Dozens of times when going to toilet and being back to the seat.

what???

I can't either. It's hell for me living in society where extroversion is the norm when I'm so introverted. I get tired after just a few minutes of conversation.

Why did you start crying hard on the plane?

because I'm a crybaby and I didn't want to leave
it was the best times of my life and then I had to go back to regular life where I am miserable

You can not be serious.

of course I am ;__;
what did you expect?

awkward*
are you an asian? or a girl? i don't see them as bad or rude but i can't deal with their exaggerated behavior

We already told you that sharting outside of designated marts is not okay. Poor thing, the culture shock must have been hard.

Can't you just take more trips?

I like how talkative most Americans are tbqh

I guess it's because I'm extroverted?

Whenever I see stories about this I always remember that one time when I was like 4 years old and I went to Albuquerque with my parents. We were at a fireworks show and the sounds scared me shitless. An American couple noticed my distress and tried to make me laugh and show me how pretty the fireworks were despite the sound. Eventually they calmed me down and they struck up a conversation with my parents.

It was the cutest thing now that I think about it. I wonder where they are now.

I'm too poor
and I don't want to take trips.. I want to go and not come back

>are you an asian? or a girl?
Neither. CHI male.
>i don't see them as bad or rude but i can't deal with their exaggerated behavior
I agree

Kek

Where did you go to, anyway?

The last time I was on a long international flight I ended up sitting next to a Swedish guy and we talked about various things for almost half the flight. We also watched some episodes of Star Trek TNG on his phone and each used one ear of his earbuds.

I find this preferable to spending the entire 10 hours in silence, since I can't sleep on planes.

finland

>Backpacking in Prague
>At urinal at a bar
>Canadian starts talking to me while where both at the urinals
>Told him only Americans and Canadians do this
>Saved a Canadian from getting bashed

pic not related

wad da fug m8
Why was it that good? Is Finland a secret paradise?

I've seen fat people occupy two seats on the plane.
Also sames, travelling in planes or buses is always extremely uncomfortable.

>on flight already tired and stressed minding my own business
>someone starts trying to talk to me and make small talk
just sh*t the fuck up pls

You're still going with this stale banter? Get your ass back to the swamp. Shrek has been worried sick about you.

Why

Isn't Shrek Scottish, though?

it's nothing special really, but I can't explain it
I met friends there and had the time of my life, and it's the place I want to live
but I never will

see

The donkey is colombian though

Can confirm nobody does this in America

If this is true I want this to be a meme.

>tfw asian
>tfw secretly love it when americans randomly shoot the shit with you
>tfw always end up sperging out and living up to the asian-dork stereotype
>tfw letting my race down

Bathrooms are one of the few places where socializing is frowned upon.

Did you guys kiss too