Front door crashes down

>front door crashes down
>FBI! WE HAVE A WARRANT! DOWN ON THE GROUND, FUCKER!

what do?

Other urls found in this thread:

torrentfreak.com/man-handed-conditional-prison-sentence-spreading-popcorn-time-information-180208/
youtube.com/watch?v=7Ooa7wOKHhg
youtube.com/watch?v=fMg4wcRBF_w
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

sudo rm -rf /
And then tip my fedora

Call my mommy

...

Release the Kraken

take my hard drives and hop out the window

Do as they say. You don't want to bite a bullet, do you?

What are you doing overseas?

In US, you get the bullet to the chest as a bonus either way.

Whats up muh d00dz. Just watching some Umaru-Chan, care to join me?
:3

So I heard, what an ambiguous society

THIS IS NOT USA

GO HOME FBI, YOU'RE DRUNK

it's a feature~

>Fucker
>Not fucko
You had one job

No one.
Not even a SWAT Team could resist some umaru.
Great way to make some new friends.

Check their warrant, ask for their names and numbers, and comply.

Don't you have tp be black for that?

> шindoшs

Imagine being this retarded.

Kill them. They can't see me in the dark but I can see them glowing and God will guide my bullets while keeping me safe from theirs.

"Officer my pants are falling down, please don't shoot me"

its america so i get shot because they love killing people

>szindoszs

>FBI
>Living in a 3rd world country
Ishygddt

Or you could just not have any shady files to begin with, and have them on an encrypted micro SD card hidden in the skirting board. Best way by far imo

>dat feel when you live in normal country
Feel really good man

Basement is the panic room with a retro fitted gun vault door as a door. Yeah, that will give me plenty of time.

No, see CoD swatting incident.

Welcome them and laugh at the poor fucker who has to go through my (legal but crazy) porn collection. Maybe eat some pizza with his buds while he does all the werk.

We've been over this.

>full disk encryption
>script that unmounts, overwrites partition header and powers down
>bind script to emergency hotkey
>press key in case of fbi

Answer the door, cooperate if they have a warrant, and politely decline to answer any questions until you speak to your lawyer.

If you don't want to lose all your data, sync it to a self-hosted server in a remote location over VPN.

>Hit the switch on my surge protector.
>Turns off everything.
>Don't run around trying to delete shit.
>Yes sir,no sir, get cuffed and hauled off.
>Call my lawyer Mr Goldberg Rothstein to get me out in less than 24 hours on the condition I give up all my encrypted container passwords.
>Stipulation is I'm allowed to be present while they go through my data
>Watch as police waste time, money, and effort finding nothing more than banking info, plaintext documents with my account names and passwords, family vacation photos, and vanilla porn.
>Out with no charges
>Turn around and sue town/police department for property damage, wrongful arrest, slander of my good name, and emotional trauma
>Get a phat settlement check to not have it go to court

I don't have anything that would get me in trouble. So I'll be after a big payday if 8 ever have swat/cops kicking down my door.

Enjoy Guantanamo for having a shit taste.

imagine being this delusional.

This is a friend of mine
torrentfreak.com/man-handed-conditional-prison-sentence-spreading-popcorn-time-information-180208/

>live in Europe

>fbi uses a thermal camera
>waits for you to go to the bathroom
>stealthily sneaks into your home
>seizes control of your computer and connects it to a portable power source
>contains it within a faraday's cage so you can't remotely delete anything
>you done make big shit
>get out of bathroom
>be greeted by five FBI agents with automatic rifles aimed at you

>Imagine being so poor you couldn't afford a lawyer that can get this done.

If you have no incriminating data or priors, the police are in a shit pile of lawsuits. Not only that, but then the question of on what grounds did they make the arrest comes into play. The only people who go to jail for this kind of shit are people who truly had illegal shit and deserve it, or dumb fucks who incriminate themselves. Just keep your mouth shut and let's the kike and pigs hash it out.

destruction of evidence is a felon
them finding empty disks is not gonna look good for you

so just have your disk in a hotswap bay, have another disk on some cheap drive that looks like it would be your system with a windows installed and some random programs

rip the hotswap disk out and flush in toilet or under floorboards

scrips and overwrites takes too long and are prone to fail, a hotswap is a 5 second operation

>not fucko
stop

have sensor in computer that turns it off and leaves everything on it encrypted if its moved.

youtube.com/watch?v=7Ooa7wOKHhg

cs 1.6 and csgo actually

that's so mean why police in your country is so aggressive and rude?

ctrl + s

In late 2017, german police raided and arrested Usenet server owners

WHAT THE HELL, SHE'S NOT A REAL CHILD! I ONLY WANT TO IMPREGNATE ANIME CHILDREN!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME OFFICERS!

hide under the bed

>OH SHIT I'M FEELING IT

Get the gimp suit on as soon as possible :)

AM I BEING DETAINED?

I get down onto the ground and put my hands behind my back. The only things on my computer are either boring or embarrassing, but not illegal.

Prepare to get sued because the only thing you’ll find on my drives is vidya.

The burden is on them to prove you destroyed any evidence. For all they know, your drive was already filled with garbage because you fucked up your last Gentoo install. A good lawyer can come up with a plausible explanation.

Overwriting a header takes 1 second. You can manually flip the power switch in another second. A three-line script is pretty trivial to test.

Ripping out and hiding a disk takes MUCH longer, and they will probably find it with a thorough search. That will prove you tried to destroy evidence, and the evidence will still exist, so they can force you to give up your password or charge.

Hollywood hacker shenanigans don't work in real life. Keep it quiet, subtle, and deniable.

*or charge you with obstruction of justice or something similar. The penalty for that is higher in many jurisdictions than for whatever they might find on your drive.

>FBI! WE HAVE A WARRANT! DOWN ON THE GROUND, FUCKER!
Call KGB and report that western spies visited my commieblock.

theres a risk that they get you for destroying evidence if you have to run it manually. an automated sensor that turns it off when somethint unexpected happens would be much safer. could be movement detecting or noise level detection(its going to be loud if they break shit to get in or start shooting)

spread open my asscheeks.

or voice detection if they are really so stupid that they scream that fbi shit that you see in movies.

PURU PURU PURU PURU PURU PURU
KIRA-RIN

>buyfag censored
>this shit quality
Delete this shitty picture off your folder, because whoever saved it originally clearly got it from Facebook.

>what do?
kys

Sensors are MUCH more prone to false positives and false negatives than a key press.

All my stuff has multiple redundant deadman switch passwords that will wipe all drives if not recieved within certain time limits.

absolutely disgusting

maybe but how do you know that you dont start to panic when that happens? your brain can fail too.

In order to even feel anything from a innocent reference such as that shows that you're familiar with the anime, faggot.

Laugh at the retard larping as fbi in europe and get him the fuck out of my house

>trusting a kike

I've fitted my computer to self destruct if I ever were to type in 'reddit.com'

That were breaking german law on german soil. They had to request raids and detentions from each local force in foreign countries though.

If you can't trust your own brain to press a button, you are the weakest link, and literally no plan is going to be reliable.

At least a plan that exists only in your head doesn't leave any evidence. Sensors are going to be found and used against you in court.

Quickly take all my clothes off and pretend I'm asleep on the floor.

>windows
>anime

KYS

tell them I support Hillary Clinton (I don't) and they will leave me alone

This was what I was thinking as well, but if you get in a car accident or something then poof goes your data

>FBI breaches the door
>darkness
>motion activated training targets popping out at every corner
>magnets on strings hanging from the ceiling
>all doors have handles removed and the hinges concealed so you dont know which way they open
>basement is 5ft deep with plastic balls stolen from kids play centers
>some doors arent even real
>entry team finally gets to the battlestation
>all screens showing that laughing gif from jurrasic park
>hard drives full of hentai, literally terrabytes
>no human life in sight
>FBI seize all the useless equipment and leave
>was in the basement the whole time buried in plastic balls

I get down with hands above head to reduce chance of being murdered.

when i grow up i will too have a ball pit to hide from the fbi

>"ok"
I don't watch weird shit so I am fine.

Hang on a minute I just need to select all the Vehicles in this image
And maybe the next one, and the next, depends on how Google is feeling

fuck off normie

>telling people about criminal behaviour now constitutes as criminal behaviour
Orwell warned us, and we didn’t listen. I want this nightmare to end.

Am I being detained?

I cooperate and offer to do anything to avoid inconvenience including false flag operations, murder, and whatever else pleases ZOG.

ZOG has power. No one else does. Therefore I will cheerfully serve Tel Aviv because nothing is more stupid than being on the losing side.

how much money would Sup Forums pay me for a xss I have for this site?

> xss
> Sup Forums
What are you going to steal, $10 pass login?

Normies don't use encryption or hide their shit properly. You are the normie.

I could care less about this dogshit of a website. so I fuzz it for shits and giggles. I actually found something. I just want to know how much they pay for bug disclosure. if anything at all. I could care less about doing anything to this site that it already doesn't do to itself.

>not having numerous speaker systems situated around the house that blast danger music that'll confuse the fuck out of the entry team (PTSD is a bonus)
youtube.com/watch?v=fMg4wcRBF_w
>not having smoke machines to force the entry team to pull out (possible fire or hazardous gas leak), and that will double up as concealment for your escape
>not having custom IoT lightbulbs set to enter seizure for maximum disorientation
>not a single IED
>the ball pit isn't full of your snek friends
*steals your anime* heh nothing personel kid

delet Sup Forums pls and thank u

the Internet needs are buffer for the sub human scum like the types that vent on that section on the site. but to be honest I see no difference from pol and the general Sup Forums website. all of it is pretty much horse shit given that they can only IP ban you and that isn't really a method of controlling trash; it only filters it for a moment.

First of all, demand to read the warrant.

>burden of proof on them to prove you deleted evidence
>they will just charge for obstruction of justice instead
Which also requires evidence. How does having an empty hard drive obstruct justice?
>because they said so
The police need evidence in a court room too.

Sup Forums needs legal consultation for threads like these.

share how to bypass captcha, goy

Buy a good goy pass.

have a heart attack and keel over
cant arrest me if im dead, fuckos

>when i grow up
MODS

>being a meanie grown up

>and vanilla porn
I have a bunch of videos from hidden cameras in Japanese bathhouses. I mean, I don't know if they know it's there or not, right?

That's not kosher