Get a job as a software engineer

>get a job as a software engineer
>can only write simple programs on my own
>use Google 99% of the time because I'm shit at programming
>piece shit together using other people's code
Anyone else know this feel?

That's like 95% of the industry.

Really? That makes me feel a lot better.

you're better off than some of the diversity hires at my job

there's this chick i had to fucking explain floats to the other day, no joke.

just keep learning. read, read, read.

There is
>I cannot memorize syntax and libraries, but I understand what needs to get done

And there is
>Ok, so I need to count down from 700 to 200? Let us ask Stackoverflow.
>Ok, so Stackoverflow recommends a "loop". But what is a "loop"? Let us ask Stackoverflow.

Not knowing every function in every library is fine. It is the second type of "programmer" that is destroying the industry.

that second one describes the chick at my job to a T

no fucking clue where they get this people. or how she managed to get a degree from college. sigh

So whats a typical programming work assignment? Write an entire program by yourself? Write parts of program? functions?

I couldn't program and was way in over my head so I went into management.

Yeah, this is normal. Here is one answer from an interview. I had to turn away from the phone for a bit to stifle a laugh.

what the fuck

What kind of places are you being hired at? What positions?

What in tarnizzle

I work as a software engineer at a big tech firm, on the cloud side of a hardware product. An "assignment" can vary greatly. It might be too develop a database schema and API for a new server, or insert an abstraction layer in front of a deprecated API to add compatibility to a new API. Or just "investigate why X is unreliable / slow / leaking memory / etc".

If you're new, you'll usually be doing more rote work, and as you move up you usually do more design work, and eventually coordinate other programmers.

Jesus fuck what the hell?

What type of rote work? Give some examples.

I've had great anxieties about my own ability and never had someone explain to me what a typical new coder is like in a corporate environment

I saved about 10 of these, from a total of 20 interviews I did. Might make a "my experience as an interviewer for programmers" thread later on.

Enjoy.

please god make this thread now and link to it here

And I thought I was stupid.

Please make it or just dump them here, I love these. They're like the CS graduate meme but so much better.

This is shit you learn in an intro class. How? Just fucking how?

I still need to compile the data properly. The entire process, which includes drafting the job ad, posting the job at multiple places, filtering the hundreds
>yeah, hundreds
of resumes, setting up phone interviews, making phone interviews, inviting candidates for face-to-face interviews... it took about a month of my time. I will need to make sure to have the one-month-of-information in a nice-to-consume format, especially for the non-programmers of Sup Forums.

But I leave you with these two gems, for now. Enjoy.

>"Then it will take a long time to type."
Pfffffthahahahaahaha

>it will take a long time to type

Candidate is right. it will take a really long time.

K E K

for ($i = 700; $i >= 200; $i -= 13) print $i;

...

he probably gonna take long time to find job too

Top kek this is like a compilation of everything you can do wrong.

It's a female in a programming job, that's normal. They expect everyone else to do the lifting, then sell it as their own work.

Ride it out until you are fired/exposed. When that day comes, threaten a lawsuit and use the term "hostile work environment". HR will cave 100% of the time.

I am gonna start work too at a company and I am the kind of guy who can work only when my mind is at peace also with a little google because I easily forget stuff but know what to do...

The most I did was fuck around with HTML and CSS for a retarded WP tutorial at a class once

Isn't there an actual way to work out what the prime numbers are with code, like that's one of the main purposes of programing is to solve math that would take far too long to do normally, like why the fuck a goddamn log table exists or why a calculator exists?

Asking the right questions.

What in the fuck am I reading here, user?
Did someone just try to solve one of your problems, admit it has syntax errors (fair enough, those happen) and then admit it has logic errors?

That's like asking if table I put together would hold up and me saying "No because there are no nails"

Huh?

You would be surprised at how bad some candidates are. Not rude, not stupid, but completely devoid of skill.

Like, completely!

Check this one out.

Horrifying

Wanna see some resumes?

>1th March
>1th
>Oneth?
>Firth?

Carefully and slowly read every part of this resume. It has many subtle beauties.

The hell am I looking, why are these people purposing something they will never be able to do?

desperate attempts to get out of their shithole

>Marital status
>Religion
>Drivers license
Why put these menial things on a résumé?

Okay now bear with me, learning Java at a community college and certainly don't feel like I'm any good at it. This task seems super easy though. Let my dumb ass try it:
public class oddNumbers {

public static void main(String[] args) {
int number=100,oddCounter=0;
for (int i=0;i

Im no, expert.
But shouldn't anyone with with one month experience be able to solve this problems?

I'm pretty retarded but what is "the 12x12 table"?

Even without any experience, you should be able to google this on 5min, learn to understand and then form something at works logically.

table with 12 columns and 12 rows

>arent pictures illegal in applications? here in germany it is strongly frowned upon if you include a pic on your resume

I don't get it, why did the person put it on a double, pure stupidity? I think this would only be possible if the person is self taught or just stupid throughout their academic life.

>Want to know my height? Because I am putting my height
>YEAH MY HEIGHT!
>in my resume!

>Born on the 13rd of April
>13rd
>thirty-nerd?
>one-three-red?

question was to find all the numbers, not how many of them were there, but from looks of it, you did good.

yeah, but in large project is even worst.
To add one thing in fucking crm and data mangaging platform i have ask 2 people for CR, test, explain and have PM permission. Dev, staging and production QA approve.
I takes week to add something and it is still dumpster fire and crashes so ofter and can't hadle any fucking expetions like undefined or random values.
I hate this fucking job, but i really like the project before that social media platform with meme redis, elastic search and database of medical publications. I was learning react and doing a lot of interesting backend stuff

maybe if people werent so desperate for jobs they wouldnt pzt themselves into such a horrible position?

You did not answer the question correctly, but you displayed some understanding of programming. Welcome to the top 1%.

The 12x12 multiplication table.

oh dear...kinda obvious why their nation is bluntly shit when they're that stupid.

for (int x = 700; x < 500; x = x - 13){

I am missing something?

Why the fuck would you list your religion on a resume?

so you can get beheaded by the will of allah

Write down what he wants...
START FROM 700 GO DOWN TO 200 WITH EACH STEP DOWN IN DECREMENTS(-) OF 13.
Now you should know what needs to be done.

Man I'd have loved a question like finding odd numbers, my interview question for my current job was to turn a string number into an int (Without in built methods)

I think those candidates would shit themselves

pajeet?

Right? Any why race? Why height? Why weight? Why age? Non of these things affect your work... unless maybe you are a wrestler or a runway model.

So yours is a good question. Why? Why do they do that?

Oh, and:
>I work for a car booster
>Yeah... let me put that down on my resume. "Work for a car booster"
>Oooh, better tell people that I can produce positive vibes!

>that fucking windows movie maker
4/5
would hire

Pajeet is here

I agree HR asshats usually throw away the resume if the applicant is ugly. I know this chick that got a job at Oracle just because she's hot.

Just curious, how would you do this? My first thought was some kind of ascii lookup table, but that seems way too convoluted.

These people are really fickle about religion sometimes they would refuse to work with a person from a different sect of their religion.

You can use a switch statement i.e. case "1": 1

Or you can go full autist, turn everything into chars and use acscii conversion like I did, yeah

I have never messed up a technical programming interview because I am an actual programmer and I program as a hobby as well. But I can understand how people do since I myself messed up a technical IT interview. It's not that you are incapable its just that it is a skill set you will never use unless you get the actual job so its easy to mess up.

Ah yes a simple switch statement would do it. But the autist ascii way seems much more fun

First thing I thought of was just "convert it into ASCII codes"
Welp

godspeed falcon
you have the patience of a saint

Does anyone point out that you can't go from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13?
500 isn't divisible by 13...

the fuck are you guys on about ? a switch is just if else with some sugar on it. that does not explain at all how you do it.

user...

Holy kek my sides

git gud faggot

Im guessing convert the string into a char array. Then loop through array and use a switch/if else statement on each character.

>Brainlet detected

this was me like 3 years ago'

im now writing infinite loops for walmart

Take higher bound, divide by two, count down to one while printing.
Modulo is a costly operation for your CPU.
Those guys are the reason why a machine with multiple cores and frequency in the order of gigahertz can be slow displaying a text form...

>Modulo is a costly operation for your CPU.
not any slower than division

because he's interviewing in an islamic country apparently

This program will stop at 206, we asked to count down to 200.

1) get amount of digits
2) make a helper function char to int
3) offset by proper digit place
4) add together until you get to the last digit

no switch required...

Good catch, how is this one then?
public class oddNumbers {

public static void main(String[] args) {
int number=100;
for (int i=0;i

>2) make a helper function char to int
This is precisely where the switch statement comes in

Cool now do that char to int op without an ascii ref table

In Finland and Korea you must add a photo

Let me point it out againNow think a bit more, can you really go down to 200 in a decrements of 13 from 700?
Let that sink into you and you will realize the question wasn't really about answering it pinpoint but to show off how to solve it(even if it's not logically possible as you will bump into something).

> if(i%10==0) {
whats up with that line?

it does count to 200, it doesn't return 193 because it would be invalid

20 years of programming experience here, go be a retarded pajeet somewhere else

Divide by 2 is shift right one bit. A couple cycle at best.
And here we divide once in the whole program, not once for every number between A and B.
You're looking at a 50-100x order of performance difference, possibly more on modern x86, unless the compiler can figure out what you're doing and optimize it.

for ($i = 700; $i >= 200; $i -= 13) {
if($i == 206){
print "200" ."
";
}
print $i . "
";
}

you don't need all that boilerplate for this type of situation just
for(int i = 0; i < 100; i++){
if(i % 2 != 0)
System.out.println(i);
}

formatting is nice though, just no point in putting it in for Sup Forums

formatting

I wanted a way to format the output, so I included that if to print a carriage return every 10 iterations through the loop. Int i mod 10 only returns 0 when i equals a number by 10. I could have done it with a nested for loop but this way seemed easier to read.

I guess he want to change to newline?

who says the string is in ascii format ?

not OP, but I suppose he just wants to separate the numbers like
1 3 5 7 9
11 13 15 17 ... and so on

>people doing modulo operations is why modern programs are slow
We live in a world where people regularly use a combination of three interpreted languages (HTML, CSS & JS), the scripting part of which is pretty much always single threaded, to build desktop applications. Complaining about unnecessary modulo operations is rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

ok thanks. i know that it wasn't needed to solve the problem but i wasnt sure why it was there.