Feels

>That feel when you don't enjoy your favorite album/song anymore

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Nobody can relate?
k

give it a rest for like a month and youll start missing it

>tfw severely mentally ill and an addict

just live your life variously through memes & pick up an instrument & fuck about w it.

love you.

i menat vicariously

I recently developed, when I was listening to music, a much louder noise in my ear atop of my already loud tinnitus. What can I do? It's a really high pitched noise. It's hard to filter out when listening to music.
Anyone got advice? Already gone to bed early for the past few days.

Haven't listened to it for over half a year.
Lost all passion for music due depression and hearing problems

Can't get rid of tinnitus, mate. Just listen to your music at a medium volume from now on. It's irreversable, the damage has been done.

if it doesn't go for a week, ask a doctor. hopefully you will actually be able to do something about it. crossing my fingers for you user

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Man tinnitus terrifies me, how do I keep safe from it beyond listening to music relatively quietly?

>severly mentally ill
How do you mean?

Because I am currently feeling myself construct eloborate justifications and explanations on why my friends seem to be pushing me away

I've had audiotorial delusions for a while, but its starting to spread to the visual spectrum, shadows in the corner of my eye, people giving me looks when they're not even turned my way...

its all too much

That happened to me for my favorite song ever and some of the songs from my favorite album. Feels pretty bad.

>friends pushing me away

Fuck, I feel you man. The people you thought loved you seem more and more like your enemies. Everyone feels cold and hostile.

>Everyone feels cold and hostile.
So true it hurts
Everyone just has conversation that never touches anything but the surface. No one cares about what other people or even they themselves are feeling or thinking.

Beggining to feel like I was some alien that they put in human skin and dropped down to earth...

pleb

Always wear earplugs to live shows. Just always be thinking about how loud the music you're listening to is. Whether it's headphones on your computer or ipod or in your car or through a stereo. For example never go over the halfway mark on an ipod if you're using earbuds.

I have extremely sensitive ears and am always trying to avoid making my tinnitus worse.

I can't hear anything on my ipod if I'm on the train though and it's below half. I'm thinking that might just be because of shit earbuds.

>Always wear earplugs to live shows
Man I wish I remembered to do this more. I always end up there and feeling the pain.

If you're going with earbuds do the noise cancelling ones. I guess with regular style earbuds you could turn it up a bit more though. But never go full volume. I regret my youth where I would blast music at full volume on the bus.

But yeah the earplugs at live shows are the most important thing. I play in a band and wear earplugs to every practice and ever show. Sometimes people get pissed at me for not hearing them talk but fuck it. When I'm an old man I still want to be enjoying music.

But if you have been able to survive multiple live shows without earplugs chances are you have much stronger ears than me. I went to my first live show without them and my ears were constantly ringing for a month. And I still always hear ringing when it's quiet.

>How can I convince you it's me I don't like

Hmm, makes sense I guess. My ears have been fucked up a lot from illness before, so perhaps they aren't as sensitive as they once were.

Either way, thanks user, I'll keep this in mind. Best of luck to you and your ears.

See a doctor ASAP. You may have a psychotic condition like schizophrenia or bipolar.

Time to find some new good music, user. Keep searching.

You know I used to dismiss those two conditions as products of psychology rather than something that tangibly exists,

But I do seem everyday to fit the category or paranoia schizophrenia more and more each day

I can't throw a coherent sentence together, can barely express myself besides these FL studio instrumentals

Do you think it could be onset by marijuana use?
For the first few months it helped me feel like a normal human being that could relate and talk to other people just for the sake of it

but now....i feel like an alien anywhere i go....

This is probably bait, but there is literally no reason why you shouldn't see a doctor very quickly.

>Haven't heard a new album that excites me

It feels as though all of my personal favorite albums were all discovered during a certain time period of my life. I haven't heard an album that could potentially be one of my favorites for years now.

Don't listen for a year or so. Make it a special occasion when you listen to it. I haven't listened to Lift Yr Skinny Fists in like a year and a half, just waiting for a perfect moment right now.

The only thing that's been keeping me from seeing a doctor is
1) Loss of freemdom (psych wards are serious shit, no rights at all for patients)
2) If I get put in there, my career is over, I can't stop now with what I do
3) How my family would react (probably immeaditely putting me in a psych ward even though it would probably drive me to suicide)


Why isn't there someway you can get professional help for delusions without worrying about your adult life being tossed aside?

1) Why do you assume they'll lock you up? I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure there are more viable alternative treatments than just "throw someone in the nuthouse". And it doesn't necessarily have to be heavy medication either
2) Thing long term, user. How can you hold down a career with a serious illness? If you wait too long you risk doing something irrational or worse - think of how that would impact your career.
3) This has got to be bait. If they are your family, then they care about you and want you to get better and won't want to see you locked up. If that IS what they want, then they are evil fucks and why would you care how they might react or feel about it.

I know it seems scary bro, but you are not alone.

BTW where do you live?

not visual at all just horrible debilitating depressed/anxiety made worse by self medicating. i have to force myself into concentration or i lapse into staring into space or just plain sitting on the floor or laying down on it for "something to do" puts me in a weird calming state. wake up with heart palpitations. don't have a moments rest from worry literally everyday unless im on drugs. frequent disassociations. very "difficult" person. have a chronic fear of my own company. its all hard sure but you sound like you need some actual medical help. mine is a burden, a shit hand dealt that i live with and watch worsen & adapt as best i can before i give up the gun to be honest.

Yes, it can be onset by marijuana use. I am a music producer with a family history of schizophrenia whose own disorder (currently undiagnosed, but likely some flavor of schizophrenia) was brought on more rapidly by cannabis. I started having similar symptoms as you. That's why I think you should see a doctor.

They're not going to just randomly throw you in the psych ward if you're not dangerous and are still somewhat coherent. The drugs they prescribe can be really really bad and might kill all of your creativity, though, so be warned.

Conditions like schizophrenia are actually perfect for things like making music or art, but obviously carry a ton of other downsides. And even then, that's only for a time, since the condition can eventually cause your brain to deteriorate and you lose even your productive creativity.

At the very least, please lay off the drugs for a time. Same goes for the other guy in this thread.

>Conditions like schizophrenia are actually perfect for things like making music or art, but obviously carry a ton of other downsides

That's the thing, I'm practically married to music, I can't function if I dont get in at least 4 hours of FL studio producing and arranging or practicing the piano.

Its my main excuse to myself for not going out shutting myself away from people. Sometimes it feels lonely, but other times music is so fufilling because I have this thing where I can see the future and tell where a song should go with everything.

I've actually got tinnitus and i don't find it so bad

>please lay off the drugs for a time

uk here with a two year ongoing benzo habit purely from rcs & now the bans coming in place and all my actual street sources have dried up , i literally have no idea if i have anything but a choice to lay off either that or go fucking nuts.

Yes, I absolutely know the feeling. I pretty much have no friends and use music as an escape, and also experience that "predicting the future" thing.

The heightened dopamine caused by the condition makes it feel like the song is already written and some other being is telling you what notes to place next. The dopamine can also make both music creation and music listening more enjoyable. Drugs can cause the same thing for neurotypical people; I've read a lot of anecdotes like that.

I have no great advice for you other than: see a doctor, and try to avoid anti-psychotics unless there is absolutely no other choice. If you start hearing voices telling you to kill yourself 24/7, living in paranoid fear the government is reading your mind 24/7, seeing visual hallucinations 24/7, then alright, go for the anti-psychotics (though at that stage you'd be too paranoid to trust the doctor anyway, so they'd probably be forcibly given). Otherwise, be careful.

Be really careful with stopping benzos and similar drugs. If you stop cold turkey, you can enter a potentially fatal withdrawal. Same goes for some RCs, depending on the kind. The amphetamine-based RCs are alright to stop whenever.

it's been mostly binges. initial three months i was using upwards of 10 mg of etiz and 4mg flubromazepam a day on top of crack/heroin.stopped after three months on the crack/heroin front, could never shake the rc benzos though & here i am almost two years later. its hard to let go of something that makes you feel like a normal person.

Trust me, I know that feeling too. I take phenibut (Russian drug that works similarly to benzos) somewhat regularly, and it temporarily makes me feel and act completely normal. It's very tempting to keep taking it. I just use what little self-control I have to limit myself.

Drugs are awesome for as long as you can control your use. When you can't, you will inevitably spiral downward and fuck your life up.

Benzos just aren't effective for long-term anxiety or depression reduction, no matter what. Your brain will always catch up with you, and will eventually compensate for the effects by lowering the sensitivity of the receptor benzos act on. It's a cat and mouse game you can never win. So, you should try to taper off, and try to experiment with drugs that can actually safely treat your issues in the long term.

i've tapered down before, few months without, tried valerian root tea, exercised, tried weed detox'ing etc countless things, even to the point of picking the habit back up & telling friends i was strictly self medicating , ended up blacked out all last december. got prescribed pregabalin for my anxeity , hugely rare here. yeah give an addict 80 boxs of pills. would burn through in days tolernce providing, w/ds till next doc's visit. three times of that shit & i said enoughs enough rather suffer. control as an addict is something you can always see but never touch. frustrating and embarrassing.

You just need to force yourself to stop taking GABAergics forever, I think. No matter what kind. Even alcohol.

ironic as you give this advice that i've been drinking all day (past two days) & am now on a a pretty low dose (4-5mg spread throughout the day) of etiz w a bottle of red. perspective through anime image music boards. thanks for the advice its nice to hear. i hope i learn too one of these days. mental illness be a bitch huh.