WHY DON'T YOU KIDS LIKE THE TOOL

WHY DON'T YOU KIDS LIKE THE TOOL

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Why do people jack off over Tool singing about math and science and shit like that?

They do put out some HARD shit that's unlike anything else. Sober is so good

youtube.com/watch?v=N_c60Sp7Gtc

Not even Tool likes Tool.

such an old meme but i prefer dragon force.

Hahahahahahaa, that's like... the shittiest fuckin list of influences I've ever seen.

I mean I never took that bitch seriously in the first place, but holy shit...

Because they won't release their new album
>interview with band member
>oh yeah, the instrumentals are coming along nicely, should be ready for Maynard to add vocals soon
>Few months later
>interview with another band member
>oh yeah, the instrumentals are coming along nicely, should be ready for Maynard to add vocals soon
>Few months later
>interview with Maynard
>oh yeah, the instrumentals are coming along nicely, they should be ready for me to add vocals to soon

i offered main man maynard a joint, he sniffed it, and said "kid i don't smoke ditch weed", kind of sneered then said "buck off fag".

He makes wine for a living now. Be gayer, Maynard

I do like the Tool though.

I like it when they sing about math and spirituality. I also like it when they sing about their friend fucking a lazyboy on ecstasy.

Most pretentious band of artfaggots ive ever heard. Maynard yarns incoherent psycho babble that he pretends is really meaningful. The average tool song noodles around for 5 minutes of near silent ambience and then busts out in a boring chorus that doesnt repeat for the rest if the terrible 15 minutes that they call a song.

must be talking about different bands

Tool fans everybody

I don't think we're talking about the same band here

The last thing I heard form Maynard was this boring song with him crying about internet trolls and fantasizing about beating them up: youtube.com/watch?v=HivxFBB87-Y

You can pretty much write him of at this point, he's entered detached old geezer territory.

>the rest if the terrible 15 minutes that they call a song
Yeah you must have Tool confused for a different band

lol what the fuck

>Maynard was this boring song with him crying about internet trolls and fantasizing about beating them up
Confirmed: Maynard browses Sup Forums and cries while people shit all over Tool for being contrived.

tool are okay, they're not like amazing or anything but sometimes I can dig lateralus

>he pretends is really meaningful
The only people that think its meaningful are the fans who are drones

Maynard has said himself people need to stop taking it so seriously and just relax.

he really takes his own drivel seriously

People were fucking obsessed with Tool shit for a while. It was embarrassing for everyone

It's just old man syndrome, someone online must've stepped on his lawn or something.

I loath to admit it but I've been a Tool & A Perfect Circle fan for a long time. It's apparent at this point that Maynards been the weak link that's kept both these bands from releasing new music during the last decade. Puscifer's obviously his preferred pet project and it straight up fucking sucks, 10,000 days was just Lateralus Redux™, I don't have much hope for any quality material from the stupid asshole.

i know this is bait but for any actual tool fans reading this, let me explain why people don't like tool. it's because tool is lame. there is nothing wrong with slow burning songs with long ambient sections. but tool songs are just flat out not interesting. in their best moments tool sounds like meshuggah (that band sucks too by the way). in their worst moments they sound like a perfect circle. maynard writes trash melodies. he chronically holds notes longer than he should. his vocal range is so limited and he doesn't really know how to use it. his tender falsetto is too corny to work. his lyrics are really really just transcendently bad. so so bad. and the rest of the band? you know i actually still sort of like adam's guitar playing and danny and justin chamberlain are obviously really technically skilled (i used to be a tool fan btw). i'd actually say without qualification that danny is a good drummer, in the sense that he actually does cool and interesting stuff with rhythm. but this is a band that simply has no fucking musical ideas. what they do sounds lame and uninspired. and if it doesn't sound that way to you, perhaps that will change as you hear more and more music. for a lot of people tool was the first 'serious' band they ever heard, and they were just blown away (people who moved in classier circles when they were teenagers may have had this experience with radiohead), and its easy to confuse seriousness with goodness. but eventually those things come apart for you, and if you are like most people you will listen to tool, and where you used to hear depth and complexity you will just hear 100 kinds of mediocrity layered on top of each other.

that's my take anyway. pic unrelated of course

I saw Maynard at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Puscifer is BAFFLING. What the actual fuck is anyone in Puscifer doing.

I must admit, im fairly new to chans, and so I'm only just beginning to become familiar with some of the dialect, but isn't he pretty much the epitome of a "fedora"?

maynard is also the weakest link artistically and in terms of musicianship. he is just not very good at what he does

>weakest link artistically and in terms of musicianship
maybe so but...
>not very good at what he does
is blatantly wrong

Everyone in Tool is talented you dirty contrarian

well the position that i'm taking is that maynard is not talented. i don't think that's blatantly wrong at all. i've listened to tool plenty, and my honest assessment is that maynard is not just the worst musician in the band, but in fact is a crappy musician. i wrote that long thing with the trips above and i stand by what i said there.

I have no idea either, Puscifer's just perfect evidence of how much weight celebrity name recognition carries in the music industry. Truly awful in every respect.
Yep, hence my ongoing shame.
Eh, I'm afraid I'm slowly coming around to this conclusion as well. He's made it work in the past, he's just too busy making wine in Arizona (or whatever shitty vanity project is currently occupying his time) right now. I'm beginning to think he's just becoming another stupid rich asshole.

Maynard?... you in here??

its hard not to believe this

Yeah, but he's too busy scouring the thread for content violations so he can report it and have it deleted by the Mods.

Insecure manlets, amirite?

actually i have this weird intuition that this is maynard.

It's hilarious to think that Maynard Keenan has any weight and name recognition in 2016 to get away with the shit he does, but I guess it's still the same old bastard up top that were working in the 90's and still have some pull in the industry to get him what he wants.

u make no sense. and post gross fucking gifs

Contrary to popular belief the music industry hasn't changed that much since the 90s. Your Taylor Swifts and One Directions are all doing just fine, it's anyone who's interested in making something resembling art who have been cut out of the conversation as far as mainstream music is concerned.

realized this a minute ago brother lol

>makes no sense
That's about the most straightforward thing I've ever posted on Sup Forums -- I think maybe you're just a dumbass, user...or should I say "Maynard"

youtube.com/watch?v=lp8qUeEHPZ0
I honestly can't tell who's trolling who anymore. Memetic Warfare is truly hell.