/p4k/ - Nightly Pitchfork Countdown Hypetrain Thread

Fellow Pitchfork patricians, it is once again the time for our nightly countdown for Pitchfork's new reviews to be updated on the site at 1am eastern time.

10.0?
0.0?
Best New Music?
Best New Reissue?
8.0+ with no BNM?
A shitty set of 7's and below?
Weird Al’s eternal BNM incoming hypetrain!
Noctourniquetcourtsney Barnett Review?
Titus Andronicus being robbed once again?
Dead Sara finally getting an 8.3 BNM?
Ian FUCKIN' Cohen?
Ryan "THE TASTEMAKER" Dombal?
Lindsay "qt feminist" Zoladz? [retired patrician, memory lives on forever]
Jayson "8.7" Greene?
Larry "retired BNM godfather" Fitzmaurice?
Craig "Meme Rap" Jenkins? [taking the Big Apple’s publications by storm]
Brandon “Meme Metal” Stosuy? [retired, metal albums still won't get BNM, everyone still won't care]
qt Kim "retired Meal Goddess now at Noisey" Kelly?
Grayson "Grizzly" Currin?
Brian "Backup" Howe?
Mark "the elder statesman" Richardson?
Evan "IS GARAGE ROCK DEAD" Minsker?
Meaghan “retired trap queen" Garvey?
Andy "secretly alpha" Beta?
Zoe "¡DALE!" Camp? [retired, will probably still get asked to show feet]
Philip "Electronic Wizard” Sherburne?
Stephen "M." Deusner?
Laura "Sun Kil Buffoon" Snapes?

Will someone dethrone Radiohead/Chance the Rapper’s 9.1 for AOTY?

OFFICIAL and accurate 2016 BNM Tally: 25

The most wonderful time of the night, every night, right now. Here it is, the nightly P4K thread. Time to get comfy.

>P4K Collection Rar (Over 300 deleted reviews, pics of every staff member, now slightly updated)
mega.nz/#!l1ZlRbqb!WYbGuia29w1_fpg05XS3F9Rtb8aFfj8WzZg8Z3mbwRQ

>Tonight's Top Stories
-This thread stands with Kesha eternally
-What classic will they review tonight?
-This thread hypes and supports DIIV, Bat for Lashes, Local Natives, DJ Shadow, and Swans.
-/p4k/ forever

First Post Best Post

Dead Sara - Pleasure To Meet You 8.3 BNM

TGM 10.0 AOTD SCREENCAP THIS

god bless

Waiting to see if p4k shill gives this the green light... I'll upload my chart here if there's not another thread by midnight.

The Glowing Man 8.2 no BNM
Still Brazy 8.1 no BNM
Todd Terje 8.3 BNM
Mitski 8.6 BNM

how's her foot game?

7.8 - 8.0 no BNM and 2 paragraphs devoted to discussing the Larkin Grimm situation.

Alright, so I assume this is the official thread. Looks like they're doing five reviews tonight based on history, so...

Who's gonna get it?

the score for swans should be 1.2122273000

((phone number for a rape victim hotline)(((you dial 1 first here in america...that's the joke i'm making fellas))))

human story 3: the first 10 since mbdtf

Pic related will get a high BNM 8.x.
RHCP will get a high 6, MAYBE low 7.
I'll put money on this.

It's good but way too tryhard to be perfect breh breh
If I see one more album or movie about the "technology is ruining us all" concept i'm going to vomit

i'm glad there are some people on here are acknowledging michael gira being a pile of shit

Predicting 7.0 for The Glowing Man, 5.8 for RHCP

It will be 7.something. It's far too similar to the previous two albums to be highly regarded

i was just memeing

larkin is obviously lying

and even if she wasn't, i'd still be listening to Swans anyway

why are people hating on the getaway?? i think it sums up most of the good stuff that band has done since the late 90s. the final few tracks actually close the album really well too. it was much better than i thought it'd be.

You literally have no idea whether or not he's a piece of shit.

I don't think RHCP have aged as well as, say, Swans have. Seems like they're just doing the same ol' shit, except with more commercial appeal

Gonna say this right now. Y'all fuckers probably haven't even heard the supposed story larkin posted but has since removed.
I don't have time to post it, but I know Gira looks like a fucker, but remember that is the same guy who wrote violent songs with a femninist angle for decades. People who had no reason to came out to defend him on this. This is the guy who wrote Fan letter and put Volcano on an album, a song about how women basically need to slut themselves out in order to be successful in the music industry. This is the same man
Gira wasn't the only person Larkin accused, and the other was her former band leader and the woman in that group came out and said she had done this several times to different members of the band when she was off her bipolar medication.

His EX WIFE who Larkin supposedly called to tell what happen came out to his defense on this. (Larkin later deleted the facebook comment referencing this.)

And even If you still believe Larkin's account on this, despite all of this, even in her story they were both drunk off their ass to the point that they couldn't properly communicate, which is the reason why he supposedly put it in her as he thought her inviting him into bed thought she wanted to fuck him. It wasn't that he held her down and fucked her and came, even in her story it was Gira putting the tip of his dick in her then her waking up and him going "shit, what the fuck am I doing? I love my wife!". They were both drunk off their ass, and did not have full understanding of what they were doing.

There's a lot more on this, but I'm too tired to post more. This is the guy who was going to put a song about his wife surviving her own rape by someone she used to know (it wasn't Gira you stupid assholes, his wife named him when she went on a tirade about this a while back, but I forget the name because why would I remember that?), which was completely unrelated to this.

Did you guys never read To Kill a Mockingbird?

MRA

everyone knows all this, it's just memes friend, chill out

Defending a man against rape accusations is reminiscent of men's rights activists? In what sense?

pasta

I'm not gonna sperg out about it like this guy, but pretty much this desu.

I know you're probably just trolling, but the point has nothing to do with the mentality pushed by those places. Gira is and has always been an arty bohemian type who has more or less always had a feminist slant to his music, that is unless you take certain subject matters of his songs literally, which you shouldn't do unless you're completely oblivious to anything vaguely artistic. The idea that he's some violent misogynist is founded on nothing but this one woman's word, and pretty much everyone else around the situation has spoken out against her. Obviously we'll never know what actually happened, but the point it that the idea of Gira being a legitimate rapist is so contested its not really worthy of the attention it has received.

TGM 7.9 with 2 paragraphs on the "rape" accusation. screencap this. Personally I think TGM is a solid 9.5/10

Per

already got dibs m8

>Personally I think TGM is a solid 9.5/10
shit taste 2bh

you're right, it's an easy 9.7

dubs and zoe lets me lick her bhole one day

even worse taste

fuck off zoe. it's so fucking obvious it's been you in these threads it's no longer funny. stop posting here.

>Gira is and has always been an arty bohemian type who has more or less always had a feminist slant to his music, that is unless you take certain subject matters of his songs literally, which you shouldn't do unless you're completely oblivious to anything vaguely artistic.

This. If you don't believe me, Gira was probably the inspiration for Nirvana's Rape Me, which works by the same concept. I'm not just making this up, Kurt Cobain owned a copy of Young God and likely "got" it.

It would be a pasta if I didn't just write it right now.

Shills trying to undermine Giras best album since SFTB. when will tumblr leave?

Delete this, Zoe can post here all she wants

She's my wife and I love her.

go to bed zoe

it's mediocre

Dude I like the album, but that's pushing it. Seer and TBK are better, but that's to be expected since those albums are practically perfect. I'd give it an 8.8 or so.

>tryhard
kys

>He actually thinks this.

Holy fuck people are a bunch of spineless cunts these days. If Lyin' Larkin' didn't make a false rape accusation people would be riding this albums bug meaty cock hard. The music industry has been infectes by beta nu-male cucks trying their best to have the privilege of licking some 7/10's third wave feminist regressive left whores fungus infested toes. Fuck off you low test beta.

The Glowing Man does not deserve Best New Music because it is a mediocre album to follow To Be Kind.

That's why it won't get BNM. Rape has nothing to do with it.

When people finally take off their nostalgia goggles and "muh feels" related to the seer and to be kind, they will finally realize this is the best of the 3. Its the perfect distillation of SFTB era swans and current swans.

This thread stands with Michael Gira, Freddie Gibbs, Afrika Bambaataa, Heathcliff Berru, Leslie Rasmussen, Gustavo Guerro & Dr. Luke -- and rejects the rape culture hysteria of Meagan Garvey, Amber Coffman, Larkin Grimm and Ke$ha.

I'm not sure it's their best but it is the purest in concept, every song is either the process of positive self-annihilation or a discussion of it. I'm not sure where someone who liked TBK would get "mediocre" from unless they just threw it on in the background

>this albums big meaty cock
any other albums this year qualify?

I'm not gonna act like all of them are innocent. That's just misguided and probably not a good idea.

Rape's still a bad thing, not worse than murder but bad, and most people who accuse people of rape probably aren't lying. It's just musicians tend to have more reasons for people to accuse them of rape. Doesn't mean even half of those accusations are false.

if p4k actually pans TGM (which, let's be honest, is anything less than BNM), how big of a hissy fit is Sup Forums gonna have?

Every teenager on here is going to shitpost.

I think there will never be as big of a shitstorm as a burrito being thrown at your windshield

The way I see it

The glowing man is better than bring the sun

Cloud of Unknowing/cloud of forgetting are better than Kirsten Supine and Nathalie Neal, The World Looks Red/The World Looks Black is better than She Loves us and Screenshot. Frankie M is better than Just a Little Boy and Oxygen. It's just a better overall album senpai.

SWANS is about to get a 9.5

I'm really not hearing a BNM so far. It just sounds like spooky church music. How is that such a big deal that literally everyone needs to hear it? As I recall thats the intent of BNM

so par for the course then

shit, this guy saw through the sham. let's pack it up and go home boys, it was just spooky church music all along

GLOWING MAN 7.2 HOLY SHIT

Gibbs is likely to be guilty DESU they still have him locked up in France. Pretty sure if it was a lighter thing he'd be out one way or another. Wonder what Madlib thinks.
Also, random question out of curiosity, are there any lyrics in the album having to do with Gira's case or anything that could be interpreted as such?

I mean I'm literally hearing church bells right now 17:30 song 2

GLOWING MAN 0.0 FUCK

DEAD SARA'S GONNA SNUB SWANS TONIGHT I CAN FEEL IT

incoming 7.8 for Still Brazy, 8.9 for The Glowing Man, and 8.2 for Puberty 2

>GM 9.5
>GM 9.5
HAPPENEING

ZOE REVIEW

>STILL NO TGM
fucking hell
Zoe with the RHCP pan though

freddie gibbs has been out on bail for a few days.

Aaaaaand all that Swans talk didn't pay off! No Swans! Everybody go home!

Still Brazy BNM 100% mark my words

RHCP ON SUICIDE WATCH

NIGHTLY RUNDOWN ABRIDGED EDITION
Red Hot Chili Peppers 5.4 by Zoe Camp
Palmistry 5.0
Will Butler 6.7
Vatican Shadow 7.7
Weval 8.0

Reminder: Whatever albums on this chart are not reviewed by Pitchfork by 1 AM eastern time on Friday will be marked "BITCHFORK".

>no swans
>no ferraro
what are they thinking???

Listening to it for the first time right now. Loving it.

So, it probably doesn't bode well for Swans that they're this late reviewing it, right?

It just came out Friday so if they don't review it this week then I'd worry.

Massive review about "rape culture" is going to be dropped.

pitchfork only posts one sensational pageview generating review a night.
the rhcp pan is just the beginning. tune in tomorrow for round 2

I think p4k doesn't like to publish important reviews on monday.

BNM Breakdown by day from July 24, 2012
Monday: 49
Tuesday: 35
Wednesday: 18
Thursday: 16
Friday: 27
Of other note, three of the past five AOTYs were Monday BNMs (MBDTF, Bon Iver, and MVotC).

where the fuck is swans?

nobody on /p4k/ would dare pan daddy gira on a national holiday. tomorrow is glowing man 7.4 burrito pan. get used to it

Incoming Human Story 3: 7.6

>7.4 burrito pan
this is what every p4k dependent artist fears the most, right?
the burrito, when they can't even be bothered to properly pan your ass

I think the worst is the no review
You're not even worth a review spot

Honestly this. There's a reason they've never reviewed Vessel or Blurry Face. Because it's not even worth their fucking time.

How much of a shit storm would there be if they didn't review TGM?

why do these threads still exist?