ITT: Worst Pitchfork ratings

ITT: Worst Pitchfork ratings.

when they gave Travistan a 0.

>ITT: Worst Pitchfork ratings.
People who follow pitchfork are sheep

All of them

/thread

T H I S
H.H
I......I
S.......S

Pitchfork is a company that will actively delete their old reviews to fit in with the zeitgeist.

>Oh, lordy we can't be seen giving the 'Boy With The Arab Strap' a 2.0, better delete it.

Pitchfork used to be incredibly harsh with ratings, and their writers would probably be seen as too mean spirited and offensive for today's audience.

fuck this review was so cringeworthy. Man alive is even better than some of their new albums.
I hope Ian cohen dies slowly.

It's Orwellian. Gotta revise history to keep the proles in check.

Their obsession with black music of the past five years is a little odd, too.

>If anyone's got a more irritating voice than Jonathan Everything, they probably also have a harp and a few good stories to tell
wow

This album is one true gem that pitchfork couln´t see well.

>If anyone's got a more irritating voice than Jonathan Everything, they probably also have a harp and a few good stories to tell
is this a dig at jonew or something

HOLY FUCK THIS.
I've waited for this exact op for a long time now.

sounds like it

Zaireeka's 0.0 because the reviewer was too lazy to listen to the album properly

What's wrong with black music?
Racist.

He has a good voice, an amazing range and he´s very expresive.
Pitchfork is such an hypocrite site, they love thom yorke whinny vocals but they hate Higgs.

I think the problem with Pitchfork is that they seem to hate new artists that try something different. That wouldn't be a problem, but so many people fanatically follow them, and those people have no idea on how much music they are missing out on.

EE have been consistently bubbling under here since My kz ur bf came out, I remember that playing at a good number of parties through 2011

Get to Heaven seemed to have a pretty good response on Sup Forums at least

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy getting a 10. It's more of a 7 or 8

Late Registration deserves a 10

>What's wrong with black music?

>It's so le quirky and different, it must be good

It was meh in my opinion, didn't deserve 3.8 though
EE really stepped their game up on Arc and Get to Heaven

The halcyon days when they weren't driven by their advertisers.

I fucking miss OGs like Brent Dicrecenzo

Get to heaven was obviously great, but I don't recall seeing much discussion for Arc

Duet and Don't Try were fantastic tracks

This one

Nothing is wrong dumbo, I didn't say that. I said it's odd that P4K changed so much in the past five years favouring a lot of black music.

what the fuck?

Every single The Mars Volta album Pitchfork has ever reviewed.

Late Registration is a 6 at best.

Why is Sup Forums so obsessed with ratings? You do this all the time with P4K and scaruffi and others. It would be one thing if you posted with the actual reviews and said what was wrong with them, but why are we making a big deal just posting and disagreeing with the rating?

Would you be so upset if I said I'm giving Remain in Light a 5/10 right now?

Holy shit. This same guy gave franz ferdinand a bnm and not speakerboxx/the love below

This
Holy shit where did Cedric touch them to get such awful reviews

That album was unlistenable tho.

>memes

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
but Bitter Tea is actually amazing and it only got a 7.6. I love them but not that album.

Their positive reviews are often much worse than their negative reviews (See: Kid A)

It's really not a great album imo. Arc is a 6/10 and GTH is a 9/10 though. They really have found their unique sound and have progressed at an insane rate the past few years.

Black music has taken a big turn for the worst. From blues and jazz to this shit.

>tfw

Is it just me or are all Mars Volta album covers just really painful to look at?

>too melody-driven for prog

What else could be expected of someone with the last name Ubl?

what the fuck

These. All of them are way too high.

>0.0
>too high
you what

wow
how retarded can you be to give this lower than a 5?

I don't even like Tool, but what the actual fuck? That album is at least a 7.

I remember reading that. The reviewer had some strange grudge against New York, and kept ranting about how much he hates the place, their pizza, and their subway system.

I'm pretty sure that they refused to do interviews with Pitchfork back on the At the Drive-In days and actively avoided Pitchfork afterwards when they were getting really big.
IIRC Relationship of Command has a really low score too and none of Omar and Cedric's later work has any reviews

Surprised they didn't delete this. I'd image this sounding somewhat disappointing back in 2001 but it has aged incredibly well since then.

asaaaAAAAAAAAH

FRANKIE SINATRA!!!

Definitely. Never see it posted on here.

lol dude

Hip hop has seen a huge rise in popularity, and hip hop is obviously a genre with a massive amount of black artists. Of course more black artists are going to get attention, it's not a conspiracy.

shhh

Let them believe in the conspiracy. It's the only thing they have

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DAE LIL GAYNE?!
fact: most of the people that shit on lil wayne havent listened to the early carter albums

What always tripped me up about this rating was that the review was written by the same guy who reviewed Kid A. It's literally so weird to see this stark difference in opinions, because Lateralus and Kid A are both in my top 20. For totally different reasons of course.

dance-punk classic

Holy fuck that's such a horrible score jesus christ. That album is fab

I don't care if the reissue got a better score, this was absurd.

I love all the album covers, they're all unique and interesting to look at.

to each his own i guess

Biggest difference in rating on Pitchfork I have ever seen.

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fucking imbeciles, it may not be my favorite Ulver album but still it's a really great record

i don't even like Mars Volta and I love that album cover

They were made by the same group that design many album covers by Muse and Pink Floyd. STORMSTUDIO. I like them a lot.

That album got middling reviews all across the board mostly

The OG infamous they gave a 10

...

this
they gave this failed fucking abortion of an album 8.4, if that doesn't scream white guilt I don't know what does.

I think it was more following the trends and the $$$, not white guilt
White guilt would be giving an 8 to a shitty conscious rap album because of it's politics

one of the best hip-hop albums of the last five years, easily.

Giving Coloring Book by Chance a fucking 9.1.

Not even rap fans were talking about that shit like three days afterwards.

i actually agree with this one. It just seemed like an amatuerish outing, understandably of course

Coloring book is the best hip hop album of the year IMO

oh u mean like l e m o n a d e

I could get an autistic chimpanzee fucked up on ketamine, record it's disoriented chattering, and put it to a minimalist synth beat and you'd probably give it a fucking 10/10

Lol
>2016
>current year
>Current month
>current week
>current day
>current hour
>current minute
>current second
>still takes pitchfork serious

...

This album is GOAT. Definitely earned the 8.4.

What the fuck is this guy talking about? For someone who reviews music, it's amazing to think you can't look in an artist's back catalogue.

see

no, because you're irrelevant
pitchfork is very popular and therefore influential in shaping what the public considers good music.
that being said, I agree with you. Assinging an album a number is fucking stupid

to be fair, this is one of the funniest reviews I've ever read.
But the author is reprehensibly the biggest tryhard in the world