Which old person has the best taste?

Which old person has the best taste?

robertchristgau.com/
scaruffi.com/music/best100.html
rateyourmusic.com/~turnyQxx
last.fm/user/siralechendrix

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youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ
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Unironically Scaruffi

Scaruffi > Hendrix > Christgau > Turny

Hendrix >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> all

Chrisgau

hendrix is just a generic 50 year old uncle, so he wins by default.

Scaruffi, everybody knows that. The only problem is he writes like the euphoric guy

scaruffi>hendrix>turny>>>>>>>>>>>christgau

It's always been hard to reconcile the fact that Scaruffi has pretty great taste with the whole Beatles thing. That whole copypasta is one of the stupidest pieces of music criticism I've ever read and is just rife with inaccuracies.

However, pretty much every highly rated Scarrufi album tends to be fantastic. I've just never really know what to think about that.

I like that turny guys taste, pretty neat

Come In and Burn [DreamWorks, 1997]

Success doesn't suit this drug addict, who will kick caffeine only when they synthesize rage itself. Since I got big yucks out of 1992's spoken-word twofer The Boxed Life, which recalled a lab-assistant job and other homely pursuits, I am entitled to grouse about the grim star diary that is 1997's spoken-word twofer Black Coffee Blues. And while it's no surprise that this thrash-and-churn is his metalest metal ever, it's amazing that Spielberg-Katzenberg-Geffen made Rollins their flagship rocker--for all his corp clout and cult cred, he was off the charts a month after he muscled on. As pathetic as it is for aging Spinal Taps to fabricate melodrama out of an adolescent despair they remember via groupies and fan mail, it's even more pathetic never to feel anything else. C-

THE FACT THAT

Radiohead, the most hyped and probably the most over-rated band of the decade, upped the ante for studio trickery. They had begun as third-rate disciples of the Smiths, and albums such as Pablo Honey (1993) and The Bends (1995) that were cauldrons of Brit-pop cliches. Then OK Computer (1997) happened and the word "chic" took on a new meaning. The album was a masterpiece of faux avantgarde (of pretending to be avantgarde while playing mellow pop music). It was, more properly, a new link in the chain of production artifices that changed the way pop music "sounds": the Beatles' Sgt Pepper, Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon, Fleetwood Mac's Tusk, Michael Jackson's Thriller. Despite the massive doses of magniloquent epos a` la U2 and of facile pathos a` la David Bowie, the album's mannerism led to the same excesses that detracted from late Pink Floyd's albums (lush textures, languid melodies, drowsy chanting). Since thee production aspects of music were beginning to prevail over the music itself, it was just about natural to make them "the" music. The sound of Kid A (2000) had decomposed and absorbed countless new perfumes, like a carcass in the woods. All sounds were processed and mixed, including the vocals. Radiohead moved as close to electronica as possible without actually endorsing it. Radiohead became masters of the artificial, masters of minimizing the emotional content of very complex structures. Amnesiac (2001) replaced "music" with a barrage of semi-mechanical loops, warped instruments and digital noises, while bending Thom Yorke's baritone to a subhuman register and stranding it in the midst of hostile arrangements, sounding more and more like an alienated psychopath. Their limit was that they were more form than content, more "hype" than message, more nothing than everything.

Scaruffi, he still writes like a pretentious faggot.

2 of those don't really ''review'' though

Christgau

this guy knows less than most 16 years old these days

Oh never mind I just found out Scaruffi likes Frank Zappa. Into the trash it goes.

Christgau is smart enough to know that rock musicians aren't that impressive if you know enough jazz and that playing a 200 bpm shredder solo does not make you the equal of Coltrane.

Coltrane is unironically more masturbatorial than most guitar players though.

What counts as old? 40+?

I was young, far too young. He was wintering in Kent, whoever 'he' was. I may have convinced myself that it was all a dream. I first saw him when he held the door for me at the local railway museum, and our paths crossed again in the library; we both reached for the same copy of Nabokov's Pale Fire as he hummed the vocal melody of Van Morrison’s Cyprus Avenue. Our hands brushed, and we looked to each other – I with a nervous smile, he with a grin that has now come to haunt my mind's eye whenever I allow my thoughts to wander as I am taken in by the motorik rhythms of certain popular German progressive rock bands. "Take it," he said. "I much prefer his earlier work." I thanked him and turned to leave, but as I did so he grabbed my dress and tugged me back, forcefully wrapping his arm about my waist and pushing my bottom against the rock of his crotch. I respected the policies of the library too much to scream. He pressed his nose to my scalp – "You're a soft little machine, aren't you? Mhm... seven out of ten." For reasons I still do not entirely comprehend, his judgement relaxed me. I told him my train was not leaving for another hour and he led me back to his cottage. Foreplay consisted of him slapping me about the face and asking "What does my baby say?" until I tearfully replied with "W-we can live in the empty spaces of this life." I do not wish to recall the rest of the afternoon in any more detail, but it was, as you would expect, slow, deep, and hard. Part of my therapy has involved revisiting the library, wherein I overheard a man at the desk enquiring as to where he could find a book on the Beatles. The look that crept upon the librarian’s face is one with which I am all too familiar. My smile is stuck, I cannot go back to your frownland…

I dunno. Probably 40+ because you're then older than all the young, happenin' artists.

Aren't most young happening artists like 16-20?

guess so, think turny is 40 and would be the youngest pictured

The average age that rock, hip-hop, and pop stars peak is around 27.

Turny is old desu

>Lol, le 27 club XD
Nah senpai

Look it up. It's true for probably the great majority of them, a few exceptions on either side.

Name five.

Turny is unquestionably the worst.

>DUDE JUST GIVE ANYTHING ACCLAIMED TWO STARS OR LOWER LMAO

Fuck off.

oh noes! people have different tastes, how dare they!!!!

Name five of what.

do you take pride in the fact that you share the same taste as 16 year olds?

I bet your pussy tastes like a 16 year old's...

>being this much of a drone

that's just how italians write

>old people

>young people

Duh? Artists who peaked in their late 20s.

I would say Christgau, but he likes gay jazz music
I would also say Scaruffi but he likes gay captain beefheart
idk the other 2

If you are under the age of 18, please discontinue browsing this website.

Why is Christgau usually cited on Wikipedia in the review sections of albums while the other people aren't?

What?

>Beatles
>Rolling Stones
>Beach Boys
>The Who
>Aerosmith
>Kiss
>Van Halen
>Metallica
>Megadeth
>RHCP

And probably many others.

Christgau is a contrarian idiot anyway.

>complains about art rock
>says rock should be short, simple, fun, and you can party to it
>spent the whole of the 80s championing dire college rock like REM and the Cure while shitting on AC/DC, Motley Crue, and Van Halen

He's the one who puts the most effort into editing himself into wikipedia.

Actually you're very dumb and Christgau was a much smarter guy than you because if you'd consider that the 80s college rock scene was one of the major components in grunge while those hairspray bands didn't influence any worthwhile artists and they all died with the 80s.

Everything interesting and innovative in the 80s came from the underground punk/college rock scene, not the retard-level MTV pop rock for 11 year olds.

Wrong. He's easily the most relevant. Scaruffi and Fantanos wikipediea edits always get deleted.

I want underage to leave.

>AC/DC and Van Halen didn't shape 80s rock

I'll give you Motley Crue though; they were never good.

>relying on somebody else's opinion

The early 80s was great but the late 80s rock and pop scenes were pathetically bad. GNR got big just because of the void that existed back then. You couldn't find a hard rock act back then who weren't manufactured hairspray glop out of the MTV marketing department.

Of course, savvy operator that he was, Axl Rose made sure to have a poppy radio ballad (SCOM) to get casuals and girls listening. As Paul Stanley said, "Back at that time, the only way a rock group could get on the radio was with a ballad."

But who reads him? What's his audience? It's definitely not the hip audience since he dismisses anything experimental or technical. It's not the general audience since he dismisses most acknowledged accomplishments in any sphere that isn't blues rock or punk. And the pleb audience doesn't read anything beyong rolling stones (which they don't even read anyway). How is he relevant?

scruffy by a large margin

You're right. MC were good for two albums before they turned into pop rock, but they never had a real sound of their own and just rode on whatever was popular at the moment.

>early 80s
>copy Slade and Bowie
>SATD
>copy Judas Priest and Iron Maiden
>late 80s
>copy Bon Jovi
>90s
>copy alternative bands

A lot of his opinions are retarded and his tastes extremely limited, though his reviews can be quite hilarious and he has shit on plenty of bands that deserved it like Journey and Styx. Also some of his lengthier columns are interesting and put a lot of things into perspective.

He's relevant because he's right like 80% of the time and he actually understands rock music

Turny

Fuck rock

>It's definitely not the hip audience since he dismisses anything experimental or technical
Wrong. He's a big jazz enthusiast so that puts the kibosh on the idea that he doesn't enjoy technical music, but his idea has always been that rock shouldn't be experimental or technical. Take that for what you will.

>jazz
>technical

lmao. That's completely wrong

He doesn't hate all technical music, he gave Marquee Moon an A+ for example. He just hates boring or pretentious rock music

I'm sorry, I...I just can't take seriously a guy who gave a Backstreet Boys album an A while slapping sad faces on two Neutral Milk Hotel albums and calling it a day.

>Christgau readily admits to having prejudices and generally disliking genres such as heavy metal,[1] art rock, progressive rock, bluegrass, gospel, Irish folk, and jazz fusion"

He admits to being biased toward huge genres so I think his opinion is the kind that should be taken with a grain of salt imo.

>rock
>huge

Classical, rhythm and blues and traditional ''world'' folk laugh at your pitiful 55 years.

He's a patrician user.

>He just hates boring or pretentious rock music
In which case he shouldn't have been giving REM albums Bs and As. Seriously, REM is the most astonishingly boring band on the planet.

>well-crafted pop album
>versus some hippie with a banjo singing about Jesus
I know what I would have done in that situation.

My main issue with Christgau is he seems to focus mainly on the lyrical content in his criticisms, to the point where sometimes he doesn't even mention the actual music.

And he gave ITCOTCK and Horse Songs bad reviews.

I agree. I think he mellowed out and became less demanding as he aged. But he documented punk rock very well, and there are a lot of albums he picked up on early (Velvet Underground & Nico, for example)

>Irish folk

Gee, I'd never guess it. He rated two Dexy's Midnight Runners albums with Bs and Sinead O'Connor's Lion and the Cobra got an A.

>He just hates boring

How is AC/DC not boring?

Wait, what's wrong with REM? They were one of the biggest things going on in the college rock scene back then.

Their music is bland as fuck. It sounds like crap my parents would listen to.

>It's not the general audience since he dismisses most acknowledged accomplishments in any sphere that isn't blues rock or punk

Also all songs have to be fun--he doesn't like anything about death and agony.

Exactly why Christgau likes it.

Murmur [I.R.S., 1983]

They aren't a pop band or even an art-pop band--they're an art band, nothing less or more, and a damn smart one. If they weren't so smart they wouldn't be so emotional; in fact, if they weren't so smart no one would mistake them for a pop band. By obscuring their lyrics so artfully they insist that their ("pop") music is good for meaning as well as pleasure, but I guarantee that when they start enunciating--an almost inevitable move if they stick around--the lyrics will still be obscure. That's because their meaning and their emotion almost certainly describe the waking dream that captivates so many art and pop bands. Which leaves me wondering just how much their pleasure means. Quite a lot, I think. A-

>this coming from the avowed enemy of art rockers everywhere

>18 years old
Scaruffi
>25 years old
Christgau

Well I hope your parents don't listen to Soulja Boy, because...

what did he mean by this

None of this explains how he's relavant or who's his audience.

>rock bottom a b+

>backstreet boys an a-

Christgau rates almost exclusively based on how much he personally enjoyed the music. As opposed to Scarriffi, who talks about influence, innovation, etc.

Body Count - Body Count [Sire/Warner Bros., 1992]
Exploiting and burlesquing the style's whiteskin privilege from "Smoked Pork" to "Cop Killer," Ice-T's metal album takes rap's art-ain't-life defense over the top. Not only does he off pigs, he murders his mom--because she taught him to hate white people. Then he cuts her up, sticks her well-catalogued body parts in Hefty bags, deposits same all over this great land of ours, and suggests that listeners with parents on the racist tip follow his example. For Satanism he tangles with a voodoo queen and enters the "Bowels of the Devil," a/k/a the state pen. He wilds with Tipper's 12-year-old nieces, fucks his "KKK Bitch" in the ass when a rally gets his dick hard, and fakes an orgasm for good measure. And like any long-haired frontman worth his chart position, he sings a tender ballad--in which a coke fiend steals enough money to buy the best shit, then goes cardiac when he smokes it. A-

-Robert Christgau

Hendrix >> Scaruffi >>>>> Christgau >>>>>>>>>> Turny

>thinking it's cool to dislike things that a lot of people like because it makes you not a "drone"

t. just turned 25

youtube.com/watch?v=XXUkddrnsXQ

Seems like generic 80s radio rock to me. Maybe a touch of Springsteen in there as well.

because rock bottom is a cure for insomnia

Christgau literally gives every album an A- to an A+, he only rates bands on how much he taps his foot to the music.

>He wilds with Tipper's 12-year-old nieces, fucks his "KKK Bitch" in the ass when a rally gets his dick hard, and fakes an orgasm for good measure
damn...

>Christgau literally gives every album an A- to an A+
??? He gives out B's and C's all the time

plenty of acclaimed albums on there

Nononono. I understood what was getting at. He meant that REM sounds like bland adult contemporary and that Christgau liked them because he was in his 40s when they were at their height and their bland music appealed more to 40 year olds than 11 year olds.

So I said, ok but then he went around and rated iSouljaBoyTellEm an A when he was like in his 60s, but I don't think most people's parents would listen to Soulja Boy. That argument kind of falls apart there.

That too. This is a guy who's whined about misogyny in rock many, many times but he's ok with a song about raping 12 year old girls.

Only from black people

I can think of plenty of adult contemp artists that he crapped on like post-1975 Clapton, Whitney Houston, and Sheryl Crowe.

Not just black people. He also gave high marks to Rolling Stones and Aerosmith records with really misogynistic, woman-hating songs including Done With Mirrors which got a B+. A Rolling Stone Magazine review even called DMW a low point for rock misogyny.

In one of his columns from the 90s, he said (paraphrasing):

"In my opinion, U2 always put on too many airs to suit my taste. They're a working class band with pretentions behind their humble origins. I will say part of my preferences are generational--the music I grew up loving in the '50s was fast, short, and funny. There's a kernel of truth in the somewhat specious notion that punk rock was '50s rock-and-roll revisited. Many critics in their 30s who came up with the AOR of the '70s, which was long, slow, and somber, probably see things in there that I never will and U2 were at the tail end of the AOR era in their soberness and wide sonic expanse."

interesting

Strange, if it all be generational then I'd love nu metal and pop punk, but I don't. Those bands were always trash and I have no desire to hear them again.

Or why he says he was born in the wrong generation to appreciate the slow, dirgy 70s stuff but then again, if you cared to think about it, most of those bands were guys around the same age as him, so clearly it was some inherent thing in his generation that led to Quadrophenia and DSOTM. The kids who were listening to 70s AOR didn't play that stuff when they grew up, they gave us Van Halen, Iron Maiden, and REM.

So in essence, he was saying "I was born in the wrong generation to 'get' music made by my own peer group." which is like LOLwut.

Well no, it was more of a British thing to make long, dirgy wankfest albums. If you look at American rock in the 70s, it was faster, simpler stuff like the Stooges, Alice Cooper, and Kiss. I mean, we stayed a lot truer to the roots of rock than Europeans did.

Uh huh. Rock was inherently part of our American cultural heritage and that Europeans never really understood how rock is supposed to work and so they ended up fusing it with the European symphonic tradition and so mangled it and made it into something it isn't.

To quote Lou Reed, "I've seldom ever heard a British band I found listenable. In my opinion, the British should just stop trying to play rock-and-roll altogether."