FUCK YOU AUSTRALIA!

FUCK YOU AUSTRALIA!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQsLDm9Rq9bHKEBnElquF8GuWkI1EJ8Zp
lichess.org/bfz0hyNC
youtube.com/watch?v=gqyAc4VnObc
battleship-game.org/en/id37074874
battleship-game.org/en/id95711612/classic
chess.com/livechess/game?id=1396418867
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>953 rating on chess.com
damn you're bad

It's too hard

Can you link me good videos or something to get good?

>tfw too slow for speedchess, but win most matches without timelimits
I played with someone on /r9k/ while starting out and he got angry and said stuff like "a beginner wouldn't make such a turn", it ended in him saying that I lied and that's why I have friends, am a virgin etc. Atleast I won all matches I guess.

top kek dude i got adhd or something.

I always tab out of my chess matches and get distracted and lose.

Literally i play blitz and keep tabbing out and then i forget what i was doing so i lose.

It's the opposite for me, I sit there and try to think about all the possible scenarios and what would be the optimal turn, so I sometimes waste minutes because I can't decide yet. But I probably improve with experience when it comes to that.

I think most people tab out, I mean, you can do something else while the other person is taking a turn.

buy some basic chess books, do the exercises online on chess.com so you can have better vision, and play a lot. you can only get better by playing. come to own one specific opening line as white and defensive strategy as black. branch out from there and study the greats

There are countless videos on youtube you can find on the subject, countless articles on chess.com, countless forum posts for beginners on the chess.com forums, probably several books you can find at your local library, and so on.

Here's one playlist you can try:
youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQsLDm9Rq9bHKEBnElquF8GuWkI1EJ8Zp

If you're willing to spend money then there's a fuckton of books you can buy. I'd recommend going with a book rather than some video series, as books tend to be of much better quality. Make sure to get a complete course, with exercises and all that jazz.

>and play a lot. you can only get better by playing.

HAHAHAHA

KILL ME! [pic related]

>come to own one specific opening line as white and defensive strategy as black. branch out from there and study the greats

hahaha he thinks i don't do this.

Kill me (x2)


I have played.

Well

over

2000 blitz matches

I'M STILL UNDER 1K FUCKING RATING.

KILL ME

I HAVE ADHD

I LOST 3 MATCHES POSTING IN THIS THREAD

I HAVE ADHD

KILL ME

I NEED TO BE GASSED

ive read everything man.

I've done everything.

Can u teach me GOAT openings/defenses to beat people?

My favorites so far:

Goring gambit
Queen's gambit
that one with the finochette beginning

and i think that's it desu

For black i do sicilian, caro khan, and some other shit i cant fucking think

im not smart enough for chess


i can't remember more than like 3 openings mainline

>Phone poster
>Le Racist Frog meme avatar
>Awful at chess
>Beaten by someone called "domunique"
>Posts his shitty personal life shit to Sup Forums
>A FUCKING LEAVE

It's no longer a joke.

haha stop being so self-deprecating. if you really want to get better join a real, in-person chess club and/or consider getting lessons from a master, they can be p cheap. crush 5 sessions at least, do what they tell you to do and youll jump over 1200 by the new year i promise

not phoneposting retard

it's a cropped image.

I wish I learned that as a kid

also, fuck blitz. clearly not your game

OP, do you maybe want to play a match without timelimit? I haven't played for a while and I'm too autistic to play with completely random people.

dude ive lost hope.

I've played over 2000 blitz matches. I'm still under 1k. How the fuck is this possible?

im unteachable. I don't wanna waste money.

I can go an in person meet every weekend, but i dont want to.

I'll embarrass myself and be the laughing stock of everyoen there.

i can't do this

sure challenge me

>.png

>ive read everything man.
>I've done everything.
allow me to doubt that

>Goring gambit
why the hell would you do something so very memeful if you have so much trouble? Just play normal moves. If positional games bore you, then play open positions (but still, play normal moves). If on the other hand you keep getting fucked by tactics and open, aggressive positions, then just play normal closed positions, and just play normal moves.

If your rating is that low, all you need to do is play normal and you can win just by allowing your opponent to shoot himself in the foot.

If you want closed positional play, as white play normal queen's gambit (d4, c4, Nc3, Nf3, e3, Bd3 or Bd2, O-O, etc.). Otherwise, just play something simple like the Italian (and don't do stupid shit like the fried liver attack, just play the four knights variation or something like that). As black, just go for 1.e4 e5 and 2.d4 d5, and develop normally.

>1.e4 e5 and 2.d4 d5
damn it, meant 1.e4 e5 and 1.d4 d5

>why the hell would you do something so very memeful if you have so much trouble?

Because I saw martin Shkreli play goring gambit in a stream and i tried it and loved it.

It feels like a good move, noobs at this rating get rekt by it.

>Just play normal moves. If positional games bore you, then play open positions (but still, play normal moves)

I play "normal" moves man.

But I either end up with bad setup because i can't think so far ahead as the opponent or i make a big blunder cus i dont notice a fork or something.

Look at pic. I played over 2k blitz games. I'm starting to think this isn't for me.

I'll try the memes you told me RIGHT NOW and post back with results.

im i recommend queens gambit denied tartakower variation as black, the zukertort system as white

J U S T
U
S
T

I'm playing at the level of mental retardation.

Does this look like my brain has developed normally would you say?

I think I sent you a challenge, never used chess.com, so I'm not sure.

Update:

Successful Goring Gambit game.

Normalfag status: BTFO

I have accepted

Are you unironically calling me a normalfag just because I'm not shit at chess?

You guys should post screenshots of the game here so we can watch

so anyone can improve their game no matter the age. neither of us are magnus. i would say your hang up on your level is hurting your game bc it's not about the game anymore it's about your level and the stats you've flashed in this thread and looking more impressive to chess autists online. who gives a fuck. you gotta slow down. this likely means not playing blitz games for a while, playing the comp at a lower level and owning some systems. learn to enjoy the game again

no im calling my opponent a normalfag

Why the hell would I call you one?

all i enjoy is being the best

I want to be better than everyone

i want to be the fastest, richest, strongest and smartest. i dont want to stay at this shit mmr

>You guys should post screenshots of the game here so we can watch

yeah ill post soon

No point posting early opening lol

that's a (You) problem then, bud. hate to break it to ya but you'll never be any of those. you CAN, however, through work and patience, get better at chess.

...

But will I ever be amazing at chess?

i want a minimum of 2k FIDE rating at some point in the next 5 years.

Is this a reasonable goal?

>playing the king's gambit without knowing theory
nigga why

this is what I was talking about. You should just play normal chess. By playing weird chess like that, all you're doing is making life much, much, much more risky and difficult for yourself, while allowing black to have a very easy game. I mean, all of black's moves so far are simply very straightforward, even for someone who just learned the rules, those seem like the most natural moves.

how else am i suppose to learn without immersion therapy?

What's weird about it tho?

i'd say it's a goal worth pursuing but honestly man you needed to have been all about learning the game in a serious way from 9y/o on to reach elite levels. to jump 1000 points, assuming you're already in your 20's, I have my doubts. would love to be wrong though. i think i topped out somewhere in class c when i stopped caring about progressing and i dont think i would stand a chance of reaching 2k today

i think ur right

i just lost my queen lol

...

>how else am i suppose to learn without immersion therapy?
by playing normal chess

Playing the four knights (for example) is MUCH more instructive for a lower rated player than is playing in some shitfest of tactical blunder after tactical blunder.

>What's weird about it tho?
The King's Gambit itself isn't weird (even though at the very top levels nowadays it's not considered all that strong for white), but if you don't know your theory then it'll just be a mess. Specifically, 4.Bc4 is already not all that common (the most common move by far is 4.h4), and then 5.Ne5 is simply no longer proper theory (instead, theory suggests 5.O-O, which is known as the Muzio Gambit), and as a result your position is already worse, and your position is simply weird (despite how early in the game it is).

THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEAAAAALLLLLL

dude wtf is normal chess

I don't know how to do anything. I can play any opening in the world and i fuck up.

I tried four knights, i tried everything.


ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME ----- CRUSHING DEFEAT FOR ME.

fug

Good game, do you want to play another one?

>wtf is normal chess
I'll keep it simple for you:

>no flashy moves
>no gambits
>no flank openings
>no weird pawn pushes (i.e. if you're white don't play g4 or h4 or shit like that, and so on)
>no castling queenside
>no "I don't need to castle"
>always develop knights and bishops, and then connect your rooks

kill me

lost in 16 moves

that's gotta be a record

no more torture

have mercy

>>always develop knights and bishops, and then connect your rooks

Ok how?

Is fianochetting them good?

Should I play the Kings indian defense and King's indian attack?

Seems efficient

ok i got it. you do NOT DEVELOP PROPERLY. look at all those pieces on the back rank! what are ya doin?? you're king's ass is hanging out in the middle of the board in the middle game. dude.

i know man

this was a fluke though. i don't usually do this, i got confused by his move. i havent played king's gambit in a while

Thanks for accepting another match, it's 6am and now I'm really in the mood for chess.

>Is fianochetting them good?
Sure, but even that isn't necessary. If you must just play your bishops on e2, d2 (or e7 and d7 for black).

>Should I play the Kings indian defense and King's indian attack?
No

Those have too much theory

Just play normal. e4 or d4, and as black e5 or d5. Get your knights on c3 and f3 (c6 and f6 for black). Either fianchetto your bishops or get them on squares such as e2/d2, c4/f4 or b5/g5. Castle kingside. Move your queen up slightly to a square such as e2, d2 or c2. Then move your rooks to squares such as e1, d1 or c1.

After that, the rest of the game will simply be much easier to play.

ok cool another shot for leafbro, go classic man! go ruy lopez.

>you're king's ass is hanging out in the middle of the board in the middle game. dude.

That's what bobby fischer did when he played the king's gambit.

So it seemed more logical to me.

get better chess software to play for you against your opponent

he's bobby fischer though. next to nobody can get away with that kind of shit, it's indisputably bad chess putting the king in the open like that.

...

looks good so far

Fite me
lichess.org/bfz0hyNC

>using nonfree chess software
lichess or die

why the fuck did you let him have the middle of the board?
just watch this guy
youtube.com/watch?v=gqyAc4VnObc

how much does it cost?
what do you suggest instead?

Lichess is way better quality of opponents and has better cheat detection, chess.com is all around shit

lol fuck thids i keep losing to this guy

Open up chessmaster in the background and input his moves :3

then I wont learn anything

I might as well download the Chess.com bot from github and use that to cheat.

Keep playing leafanon. We believe in you.

i lost again fuck this i keep fucking up wtf

Thanks for both games own, question, do you analyze your games after you played? I usually improved the most through that, seeing what I should avoid for my next matches and what my biggest errors are.

i dont want to play ever again

rematch but with a much simpler game for your tiny Canadian brain
battleship-game.org/en/id37074874

hacks

GERMANY STRONG

you cunt

Nothing personal, kid.

You broke him

i feel humiliated

>953

This guy was annoying me so I switched on an engine and it became obvious that he was using an engine too. Fuck online chess

it's hard for some people, okay?

>9 (nine) 50 (fifty) 3 (three)

battleship-game.org/en/id95711612/classic

...

>Less than 1000 (one thousand)

...

Don't let the mean aussie get you down leafbuddy. You can do it. You'll be above 1000 with just a bit of more learning and practice.

im gonna do what my fellow canuck adviced desu

It seemed sound desu. Good luck

>953
are you impaired or smth

>are you impaired or smth

yes...

Sorry Radu I'm not as good as you okay? I'm trying my best

yo check this

Did i school this boy or what?

chess.com/livechess/game?id=1396418867

>play chess with friend online
>actually he's playing with MS chess level 10 not me

please rate my playing here

This was from a few months ago before I suffered 3 concussions

Sorry, I don't know much about chess beyond the rules. Hope your brain gets better.

sorry, it's ok though
I'm confident that you are capable enough to reach 1k

i was at 1k for a while

>mfw best thread on Sup Forums right now

someone needs to rate this game please

why not just play league of legends or something