Be american

>be american
>isolate myself for 200 years
>arrive at the end of the greatest war at the time
>join the side thats winning
>lose a millionth of everything anyone lost in the war
>get proclaimed as a hero, get shitton of money
>recieve money and trigger one of the worst economic crisis in history
>arrive at the end of another war triggered by the economic crisis
>join the side that's winning again
>lose a millionth of everything anyone lost in the war again
>proclaimed a hero and savior of humanity, get a shitton of money again
>give a nation to best ally and let them handle your money
You cannot fucking make this shit up.

You're just jealous that you didn't think of that scheme first.

American history has been an unbroken avenue of green lights, truly a blessed people.

How's our puppet government doing?

how's yours?

Still in control of yours

Have you paid back our debts yet?

>Still in control of yours
not in mine precisely

>Have you paid back our debts yet?
obviously, we don't want your overlords to get mad

Honestly, well played.
Now, if you could try and slow down the natural resource extraction and stop being a bunch of hyperconsumerist jerks, that'd be p good.

You subhuman baboon. You literal nigger.
How dare you speak, you swarthy jungle monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, rim encrusted, menthol cigarette smelling mouth?
You are human trash, Diego Tyrone LeShawn de Maradona. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and skin tone offers no hope to the world that South America can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Brazilian jungle you came out of, you literal orangutan.
I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Falklands and rape some sheep, as is in the negroes nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Nigel and Robert a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Argentinians obsession with a few windswept islands in the Atlantic is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution Argentina has made to the medical field. The MUH LAS MALVINAS sentiment in the average negro Argentinian is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.
Take your black hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about the human species again, you mockery of our supposed shared ancestor.. No amount of olive oil and wheat flour slabbed on your face every morning will make you white. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of European heritage.
You nigger.
You make Bolivia look like a beacon of civilisation.
You are the Baltimore of South America.
Go fertilise the pampas with you and your families corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life, nigger, you have a job making food for beings vastly superior to yourself. Uruguayan cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time an Argentinian "man" provided for a family.
Die, Diego. No one would miss you. Except for Australian Aboriginals, who now would have no one to make them look good.

>when australia banters you all the time but comes in clutch to defend you

Truly we are God's Chosen People

That's pasta, and a bad one at that

this is a shit thread so i posted a shit pasta

>be american
>start off as a country defeating the world's most powerful empire right off the bat
>be born on the foundation of the beautiful principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happines
>invent democracy, federalism, constitution
>be the land of the best of the best of all parts of the world: europeans, africans, asians, etc.
>be gigantic and have wonderful landscapes with endless natural resources
>invent the airplane, the car, the revolver, the nuke, the internet, the lightbulb, etc
>have the most nobel prizes than any other country
>win two world wars, defeat imperialism, dictatorships, nazism, communism, terrorism
>be the only country to send the man to the moon
>have a based president
You cannot fucking make this shit up.

I salute you fellow patriot

imagine if Americans stopped consuming. what would happen to the global economy?

>invent democracy
Do they not teach history in America?

>be me
>be American
>have best everything: best technology, best scientists, cutest girls and biggest dicks
>be the only country with freedom
>have the best military
>hasn't been attacked since 1941
>living in a constant fear of a terrorist called Abdul or Mustafa who has a 5 million dollars worth bomb in his cave

...

Don't you know anything? Of course they don't.

>invent democracy

Uhhhhh

We learn that history begins in 1776, because that's the god damn truth.

I like US as a country, much things to see etc. The people are obnoxious though.

>>invent democracy, federalism, constitution
>>be the land of the best of the best of all parts of the world: europeans, africans, asians, etc.
>>be gigantic and have wonderful landscapes with endless natural resources
'no'

God sided with America

you're just mad you picked the wrong side

This is nor how it happened and you know it, dodgy brown shitpost. For starters Mark Damon lost all his brothers ffs.