This kills the metalfag

This kills the metalfag.

This kills the Post-punk revivalist:

Turn On the Bright Lights [Matador, 2002]
They bitch because everybody compares them to Joy Division, and they're right. It's way too kind, and I say that as someone who thanks Ian Curtis for making New Order possible. Joy Division struggled against depression rather than flaunting it, much less wearing it like a designer suit. What's truly depressing is that, just as the hairy behemoths of the grunge generation looked back to the AOR metal they immersed in as teens, these fops tweak the nostalgia of young adults who cherish indistinct memories of much worse bands than Joy Division, every one of them English--Bauhaus, Ultravox, Visage, Spandau Ballet, Tears for Fears. At a critical moment in consciousness they exemplify and counsel disengagement, self-seeking, a luxurious cynicism. Says certified British subject Peter Banks: "Emotions are standard and boring. I'd like to find another way to live." That's thinking either big or very small. C+

this kills the music

>Joy Division struggled against depression rather than flaunting it, much less wearing it like a designer suit

Xgau is known for hating depressing music because he's a goddamn poptimist.

>What's truly depressing is that, just as the hairy behemoths of the grunge generation looked back to the AOR metal they immersed in as teens

I guess he means Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and AIC because Nirvana were more just pure punk and if you saw Kurt Cobain's list of favorite artists, most of them were not that 70s yacht rock he's talking about here.

Yeah and note that of the major grunge bands, Nirvana were the only one he really liked.

he's right
Interpol are trash

From the 1997 Pazz & Jop Poll:

"U2 always put on far too many airs for my taste, a working class band with pretentions beyond their humble origins. The rock-and-roll I grew up loving in the 50s was fast, short, and funny. Critics in their 30s, who grew up with the AOR of the 70s, which was long, slow, and somber, probably see things in there that I never will, and U2 came along at the tail end of the AOR era. I'd prefer more Little Richards and less Jefferson Airplanes."

interpol is shit

He's correct.

I'd blame the dirgy 70s stuff on the British mostly. American rock of that period (Montrose, Rick Derringer, Kiss, Grand Funk Railroad, etc) was generally a lot closer in spirit to Little Richard and Chuck Berry.

true

ITS UP TO MEEEE NOW TURN ON THE BRIGHT LIGHTS

Right. Cobain's music list, damn, he had an impressive collection of underground punk records considering there was no Internet back them.

I give this thread a bomb rating.

In The Heart of the Young [Atlantic, 1990]

The pall pop metal casts upon 1990's horrendous Hot 100 is a triumph of mass narrowcasting. By downplaying anything blatant in the music, marketers minimize tuneouts based on accidents of gender or subgeneration--potentially, any passive Caucasian under age 25 should be willing to consume (in descending order of marginal differentiation) Poison or Warrant or Jon Bon or Heart or Cheap Trick or David Goddamn Cassidy. So let the nadir stand in for all of them. Swallowing hooks from blooze to prog, masking their will to power in fake vulnerability and youthcult rote, Winger is Whitesnake with the sexism muted and the facelifts down the road. They may last a while, they may not. They're so bad that they're not even completely terrible. C-

He gave Spiderland a C+, his opinion is highly questionable.

>I Am Hot A Human Being II: A-

Sure is nice criticizing music without being able to play a single instrument.More like outstrument

have you heard the opening track
it's a masterpiece

>because fuck criticism right?
Pretty sure nobody at pitchfork are able to play instruments

>taking the OG poptimist seriously

Pretty sure pitchfork are still shit.

He thought The Downward Spiral was alright

I'm in the crib butt naked bitch
She said my dick could be the next black president
Americans hate that I'm American
Medicine, I treat it like peppermints
Uh, I'm in the ocean getting shark pussy
Shoot you in ya fuckin' mouth and make you talk to me
Sometimes I need someone to talk to
Cause I Am Not A Human Being...Part Two

Christgau is such a fucking hack

>The Doors [Elektra, 1967]
>I admit that some of the tunes retain considerable nostalgic appeal, but there's no way I can get around it--Jim Morrison sounds like an asshole. B-

Not The Beatles?

I wouldn't mind Christagau at all if he wasn't such a smugbag dick about his pop opinions.