How is school Sup Forums? I guess it is going alright

How is school Sup Forums? I guess it is going alright.

>post what you are listening to know

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=wKIvYmlOS_o
m.youtube.com/watch?v=MluW-n-ijO4
youtube.com/watch?v=zVjl9RgPc5Y
youtube.com/watch?v=agWDggjI0Pw
youtube.com/watch?v=d0XepjKgZEY
youtube.com/watch?v=6VoUgXgDeGQ
m.youtube.com/watch?v=pZQ8mUWzOyk
m.youtube.com/watch?v=DY1s9SmrQRE
youtube.com/watch?v=TDw6fcZYKHc
youtube.com/watch?v=JiKKuM9rkeQ
youtube.com/watch?v=SuXlZ5PHK9I&list=RDSuXlZ5PHK9I
youtube.com/watch?v=49B5f6awKOg
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

youtube.com/watch?v=wKIvYmlOS_o

It sucks.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=MluW-n-ijO4

...

schools rough, working on a 16 page paper for theories of personality right now.

>Sawako- early works#1

youtube.com/watch?v=zVjl9RgPc5Y
Phil Evlrum is a production Genius. I don't think you can get that kind of sound anywhere else. Too bad the opener practically ruins the album with how good it is.

youtube.com/watch?v=agWDggjI0Pw

I, uh, don't like the people at my school.

going to school is literally gay

what are you studying? and where do you go to school?

school is pretty gay desu. I have some nice roommates though

New clipping. leak, on my 3rd listen and it's pretty damn good.

>the girl who sits next to me in class is from my hometown
>my hometown is 750 miles away
is it meant to be, Sup Forums?

on a less interesting note: physics homework sucks so bad and it makes me feel stupid

not listening to anything right now, thinking of listening to pet sounds and then going to bed

>Fake Plastic Trees-Radiohead

I have no friends but i'm getting a car in a few days.

go for it user

Going back to take an undergrad class after getting my degree four years ago. There are fewer SJW types than I was led to believe.

youtube.com/watch?v=d0XepjKgZEY

>There are fewer SJW types than I was led to believe.

Depends on what department you go into. If you want to avoid SJWs: Avoid highlighted hair, tattoos, flannel, and "problem glasses".

Pretty bad senpai.

Listening to the new De La Soul album right now.

youtube.com/watch?v=6VoUgXgDeGQ
Listening to some good ass jams

ive been away from my hometown friends for 4 years now and ill be going back in december.

Feels bitter sweet.
Definitely wanted to kill myself all 1,460 days though.

Sucks ass. I have no free time anymore.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=pZQ8mUWzOyk

are your roomates gay ?

>Listening to Hi, How are You?

I've been dead inside since day 1. I moved to this school from a school 900 miles away where assignments were a lot easier. I've got not friends, i'm overwhelmed with homework i don't know how to do, and i'm failing two classes.

Freshman? You'll get into the swing of things. If not, it's possible with proper time management. You can do it if other students can.

Just an intro day today, so no classes. I worked on campus as a caterer. I stopped smoking weed about a week back so my energy levels were high and I felt sharp. I like my school and there was a decent band with harmonizing female vocalists playing next to where I was working. Good day overall.

no

currently listening to Dinking in the Shadows of Zizou by Bastien Keb.

School started last week. So far it's going alright. Balancing five classes with 30 hours of work. Really shouldn't be bitching. Saving up to go to Europe in the spring, I'm not sure what to expect. All my friends have noticed that I'm not being the same and that I'm distancing myself from them. They're making attempts to talk to me. I don't really want to bother for a multitude of reasons. Not in a severe state of depression or anything like that, I will say I have isolated myself from anybody who isn't a member of my family or a coworker though. Life's still going.

so you and your roomates are having hetero sex?

Bretty gud honestly. Been here a week and shit's already way better than high school.

Met a few cool guys who do nothing but play vidya all day like I do.

Attitudes around campus are surprisingly right wing.

Listening to pic related.

>responding to a trip
That was my first mistake

Yeah. I'm sure it'll get easier as i get used to shit, but I always sucked at time management and organization.

Does anyone have any good ambient music to help with focusing?

Go back to your containment thread, tripfag.

Have fun freshman year

ambient music is a meme to study to. Listen to techno or

>video game music.

Political Science at RWU. Very chaddy school.

Currently

Thanks for the advice.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=DY1s9SmrQRE

>pic related

join a trade before you waste more money

...

Big Black - Colombian Necktie
Although northgate is playing buttrock that I can hear from my dorm

Fucking blows getting into the swing of things again. I manage to have to much free time when my friends are doing stuff and none when they aren't.

>playing buttrock that I can hear from my dorm

Holy fucking shit do I know this feel.

>asshat in no-sleeves and a backwards ball cap walks in to game room
>sets tablet and $40 bluetooth speaker on pool table
>starts blasting Nickelback and Saving Abel
>Playing ping-pong with some other guy shouting FUCK every time they lose the ball (this happens about 500 times)
>they keep running in front of the TV screen to get said ball back while me and a few guys are trying to play Smash Bros.

Why does this genre attract only the most annoying of human beings?

it's going alright but one class is annoying

>senior yr
>haven't taken required arts class yet
>playing guitar for years but haven't been able to into songwriting and never really looked into theory
>decide to take musical style and composition course
>cool.jpeg
>only upperclassmen out of ~60 people
>spent first 3 weeks talking about shit I learned in middle/hs band (notes, what is a staff, what is tempo, etc)
>mfw

I'm more disappointed than anything desu and it's too late to transfer out w/out paying a fee, I might end up talking to the prof about it

I dropped out last year to do drugs and play punk music


live fast die young

Also listening to pic related and watching baseball

i have a psychology test tomorrow and physiology test on friday

>watching baseball

Not going good

>Vomited in my mouth when my crush walked past me
>My friends are slowly growing to resent me
>Taking an IT class, thought we'd be building computers but we're just taking notes in 300 question packets
>No girl pays attention to me

youtube.com/watch?v=TDw6fcZYKHc

Who else Sup Forums Sup Forums master-race?

I moved around 100 Kilometers away from home for University last week and it's been so awful and I don't know what to do. Classes start tomorrow, but I actually ended up going home this afternoon. I was becoming suicidal again and incredibly anxious, to the point where I couldn't handle myself. It seems as though the worst thing happens every time and I can't handle it anymore. I think that if I stay I'll actually die, even if that sounds very melodramatic.

I don't eat or sleep anymore, I'm just sad all the time and I don't know what to do. No music is appealing right now, but Grouper is subtle enough to be fine.

I don't have a roomate so pretty good desu

youtube.com/watch?v=JiKKuM9rkeQ

Based fellow psych major

>college starts again in 10 days
>got fired from my summer job 2 months ago
>fired from another job the month before
>been essentially a NEET at my parents house waiting for the year to start
At least I got some free time to make music.

You need to really push yourself to be outgoing the first couple weeks, even if it's uncomfortable. If you can't do that then I highly suggest you put off school for a semester or two until you get your head right because trying to deal with that shit while in school is fucking awful and you'll end up dropping out anyway and feel even worse after that.

You don't have to go to college, immediately and you don't have to go to college so far away from your support system, you don't have to go to college to get a degree, you don't have to get your degree in four years. It's not going anywhere, take your time

Trust me.

Quality post

Thank you so much, actually. Right now I feel very hopeless and disappointed in myself. It seems like this was really the first time in my life where I'd have to work hard and actually challenge myself, but I failed before it even started. I think you are right in that I have to get my mental health sorted out before I go out again, even if it seems difficult and expensive. Again, thank you for taking the time to help me out a little.

Mostly earl sweat shirt night lovell and chris travis

where at?
what year of school are you in?
oh and what's your minor?

life's bland as always
>it's my fault
was thinking about talking to this girl I like

That's the life right there if you're not in need of a lot of money. Enjoy that shit

I'm honestly so glad you were able to reach out and I was able to hear you and respond.

I was in a slightly similar place before starting college and exactly where you are just before I left. I just kinda coasted through hs without ever challenging myself and immediately went off to college 5hs away from home because I felt like it was what I "needed to do", and I was underwhelmed with who I was and felt like it would be a good change of pace to jump start my attitude. At first I was nervous and very alone but after a few weeks I made friends and we had a pretty good group for a while. I was being more outgoing and doing well in school for the first year.

Then I moved out of the dorms with 2 of my friends. It was chill hanging around smoking weed everyday then going out and getting drunk with the group every night, but soon that turned into just staying in smoking weed and getting drunk 24/7. It was a pretty toxic enviornment. I stopped challenging myself socially and academically but was able to keep it together well enough. One roomate had been doing this kind of shit since he was 14, was a pretty smart so he was okay but he was honestly just a total dick. The other guy couldn't hold it together and failed both semesters dropping out after sophomore year.

Junior year was when everything went to shit. I stayed with the one roomate even though I was getting tired of his forced "alpha" bullshit. I started smoking and drinking more and abusing adderall while on anti-depressants. I completely stopped applying myself in school and my grades started slipping more and more. I was so ashamed of myself I stopped going to class, I isolated myself even more from my family, friends and even my roomate. I failed the first semester, was put on academic probation, and then failed my second semester. I new everything was coming crashing down and I felt there was nothing I could do to stop it and nobody I could go to for help.

I don't go to school, I work a soul-crushing job that's only bearable because of the people I work with

you should go to school so you can learn how to do something and get a job that doesn't make you want to shoot yourself

^^

This. This. This.

Prioritize your mental health above most right now. Take it easy and know that post-secondary education doesn't need to take place so sudden if you aren't feeling it. You'll honestly thank yourself for compartmentalizing the things you're involved with in order to get your shit in order. Remember to get some fresh air, breathe in deep, and relax. You've got this, man.

God I feel so sorry for you, going through all that "work" just to be unemployed

saving up the money friendo

as bad as this job is the rest of my life is alright, school can wait

youtube.com/watch?v=SuXlZ5PHK9I&list=RDSuXlZ5PHK9I

I had constant suicidal thoughts but buried them in substance abuse. At the end of the school year, when it was impossible to keep up the outer facade that everything was okay, I had a nervous breakdown. Crying all night, promising to kill myself, recounting every mistake I'd made, hating the fact that'd I'd even been born. That night I was at the end of my rope and I was honestly scared for my life and I decided to call my mom and spill my guts about everything in shame. But I'm lucky enough to have a caring, wonderful woman for a mother and she told me exactly what I needed to hear: it's okay.

It was okay that I was struggling in school, it was okay that I was abusing substances, it was okay that I made all these mistakes, and it was okay that I felt ashamed about that. It was all okay because she loves me no matter what, forever and always, and all she ever wanted was for me to be happy and she would do anything to help me achieve that from this point on. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders and although everything wasn't fixed or better, I felt slightly better just knowing she was there for me despite all that I'd done. She probably saved my life that night and I suspect she knows it.

Anyway after that I came to terms with the fact that I was failing out of school and started taking baby steps towards the idea that life would go on after that. I started working full time, which was extremely helpful because I was occupying my time in a productive way that took my mind off of bad thoughts. I told myself I was gonna travel around the country in my car and live at campsites and play the guitar. After a few months of working I had a little bit of $ saved up and decided to go for it.

I had this whole deaa of how it would play out, I would try all these new things and meet all these new people and see a these new places and things would be better. Well of course it didn't work out like that.

I didn't have a set plan or set goals or anything and decided to just wing it, expecting to be gone all summer and to have this big life changing experience. I spent two weeks traveling around northern Montana/Idaho by myself before running out of money and retuning home. Sure I saw some amazing sites but I never once felt like I was confronting anything within or challenging myself, I felt like I was constantly running away from something. I'd see a place that seemed cool but would be too anxious to stop and check it out, I didn't stay in the same spot more than one night sleeping in Walmart parking lots maybe half the time, I never once tried to meet new people.

I returned home totally deflated and almost as low as I had been before I left school, except now instead of feeling fear of some impending doom, I felt nothing. I didn't leave my parents house for 3 months after the trip. Looking back on it trip now, it actually was a pretty great experience but at the time I was so disappointed and ashamed that I couldn't live up to these crazy expectations that I had put on myself.

What finally motivated me to do something was actually Christmas lol. I was upset that I wouldn't be able to get my parents or siblings anything because I had no money and I felt I hadn't been doing a good job showing my appreciation for their love and support while I moped around the house doing nothing for all that time. So I got a retail job and started working full time again, and again work was able to help me fill my time and distract myself with something productive. My mood got better, I was able to get everyone presents for Christmas, and I was able to be there for my family phisically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. I made new friends at work and reconnected with those I'd lost touch with. After two years I was in a much better place in my mind, maybe not "good" or "the best", but I was better and that was okay.

Im spending my second year at Berklee College of waste your money and i'm having a fun time so far. My roommate has a Godspeed tattoo and plays upright bass so thats pretty cool..

Jesus fuck I'm sorry how long this is, last post, promise lol.

Anyway I eventually became bored with working retail and the whole culture of that and felt like I wasn't challenging myself anymore. I had a good amount of money saved up so I decided last February that I would go back to school to finish my degree and that's where I am now, with a completely different mind set and confidence in who I am and my abilities.

Classes are a few weeks in and things are going well enough but I still need to constantly keep my thoughts in check. Always keep trying and it's okay if things don't work out as planned its because thats not how life works, and that's okay. Tomorrow is another day and you can never wake up the same person you were today, for better or for worse, and that's okay.

You will be okay, user.

Be afraid of new experiences but don't let that fear hold you back from trying them.
As humans we are much, much harder on ourselves than we are on other people.
People are mostly good don't be afraid of them.
You are mostly good don't be afraid of yourself.

That is rough, I'm sorry you had to go through all that. However, now you seem to be in a good place and I hope you achieve everything you dream of. I'm actually tearing up a little bit, thank you so much for writing all this down and sharing your experiences.

>You will be okay, user.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much, really.

Good luck brother

fuck yeah love this band, best drone

youtube.com/watch?v=49B5f6awKOg

Okay sorry I just have to put this last bit in here to close out.

Ironically, I still am not doing what I love.

I love making music and throughout this whole story picking up my guitar everyday has been a constant, and I would die happy if playing guitar was all I ever did for the rest of my life. The problem is I'm just not sure if I can do that, or at least not yet. Despite having a fuckton of recordings and ideas I can't seem to summon the discipline to actually develop anything into a "song" I'd feel comfortable sharing with others, I can't seem to get over my insecurities to play with other people. Or at least not yet.

So for now I've put focus on school because thats what's important to me in the now. After I get my degree I might go off and continue studying law, or I might go back to working retail, or I might become more serious about music, or I might do something totally unexpected. Literally nobody ever can or ever will know what life has in store for you, not only yourself, if you allow yourself that freedom.

And that's okay, as long as I continue taking small steps along the way life will go on. Even will all the happiness and sadness that is behind us, there's plenty more of both ahead and all we can do is be open and willing to accept it as it comes.

You deserve to love
You deserve to be loved

I don't know you user, and you don't know me, and we will never meet, but I want you to know something and I don't care if you forget it about it in 5 years or 5 days or 5 hours:

I love you user, right here and right now I love you with all my heart, and you could learn to extend yourself the same luxury, you deserve it.

you mean go through all that work so i can do more work in grad school

I'm so so happy I could help, you honestly have no idea.

I hope that someday; tomorrow, the day you lay down to die, or any day in between, you can take whatever little amount of insight or perspective you got out from my story and share it with someone you love, even if it's just the guy staring back at you in the mirror or the guy staring at your words on his screen a million miles away.

Goodnight and goodbye user.

This user speaks the truth, love yourself and be confident in who you are

Well this certainly was a feels trip